Random Chance and the Paradise that is Earth

by Shawn Michel de Montaigne

  “Yeah? What is it?”

  There was a brief bit of silence. “Hello, friend Random.”

  “Cubey!”

  Chapter Seven

  Mia

  ~~*~~

  Vesta

  THE POMPATUS OF LOVE floated slowly down Shaft 18A as other spacecraft floated up. The shaft was dug centuries ago and looked it. The white metal shielding here and there had weathered countless take-offs and landings, mostly from tremendous mining craft. As a result much of it had dark burn streaks. Some of it was dented; still more of it was in tatters. As technology advanced, the old shielding became unnecessary. Nanobots used the sturdy and dense iron-nickel crust of the asteroid to forge a working barrier to space many times stronger and safer. As The Pompatus descended deeper and deeper, the shielding slowly disappeared. Eventually they were surrounded by nothing but stone on all sides, which nanobots had reshaped into domes and inlets and pipes and whatever else miners needed to keep their operations going. The shaft glowed softly green, with the occasional bright white guide lights passing by.

  Vesta was known as the “nuclear rock” because of the abundance of uranium found deeper within the mantle. Close to twenty percent of all fine-grade uranium used by humanity came from Vesta and Ceres. As such, both asteroids were considered a vital resource, which meant that both the Oligarchy and the Governments of Earth, collectively Parliasolis, constantly fought over them.

  Vesta City, located twenty-five kilometers deep in the mantle, was the asteroid’s only municipality. Shaft 18A, which led directly to it, was almost like an archeological record or a deep canyon with sediment layers. Random watched it rise and pass out of sight. He’d been here before, and the old airlocks and mining boats and personnel carriers fascinated him. Most were inhabited by what the citydwellers called “countryfolk”: people who didn’t enjoy crowds and the hustle and bustle of city life. They’d find an old lateral shaft or large airlock or abandoned vessel and fix it up and move in kilometers away from Vesta City itself. Others populated old domes on the surface, though those were more expensive to renovate due to their age and the extra solar radiation shielding needed. Lots of richies up there.

  Mia lived almost exactly halfway to Vesta City—thirteen kilometers down. She and several friends had bought and renovated a five-hundred-year-old cargo transport originally built for thirty. Random had loaned her the bulk of the cash needed for the work, which, he considered, he wouldn’t have done so easily or happily with the girls in the other ports he occasionally visited.

  So, he thought to himself for what had to be the millionth time, what was it about Mia that separated her from the others? She wasn’t the prettiest girl he knew. She wasn’t the richest (which wouldn’t have mattered to him anyway), nor was she the one keenest for sex or for having a good time, for drunkenness and partying or even for having the lightest moods.

  She was very comfortable in her own skin, he considered. She did nothing to impress anybody, including him. She had little use for those who didn’t accept her as she was. As a consequence, she knew few and had even fewer friends.

  He met her on Mars. She was one of five human receptionists at Radimer’s largest hotel, which meant that she dealt exclusively with only the wealthiest guests. Purely by coincidence, she told him later, she saw his name on the guest registry and knocked on his door. She had known his father, she told him. He had treated her very kindly, and had tipped her so generously that she remembered his name. She was hoping he was with Random, and was very sad to hear of his execution.

  Random asked her out for a drink. She accepted, but said they would have to meet at another hotel, as this one frowned on employees fraternizing with guests outside work hours. They met at a less upscale inn a short taxi ride away and watched the Martian sunset through the biodome. They parted, and Random knew he wanted to keep in touch. She accepted with a mellow smile and gave him her SolarWeb address.

  That was six years ago. They’d kept in steady touch. She wasn’t like so many others who said they’d call and never did, and he appreciated that. There was a year when she got involved with a man who took exception to her friendship with him, and the waves diminished somewhat, though they never went completely away. When she ditched the man (Random never met him), she went back to waving him once a week, sometimes more. Random, making a life aboard The Pompatus, wasn’t immune to the loneliness deep interplanetary space sometimes engendered, and was grateful for the chance to communicate with someone, even after Hewey became conscious.

  The other girls … he suspected they liked him because he had money. He wasn’t a violent or selfish lover, and that was probably a plus too. For the most part they didn’t stay in touch, or if they did what they had to say was superficial and pointless. Mia’s waves were always interesting and thought-provoking.

  She had rechristened her renovated transport The Glowing Girl, in deference to where it had been abandoned.

  Hewey called out, “Got a kilometer to go, Honchorito. Slowing to an eighth. Wanna bring her in?”

  “I wouldn’t want to deprive you of one of your greatest joys,” said Random.

  Hewey loved docking. His original programming wasn’t so good at it; now he was far superior to Random at it. Random had asked once what about docking made Hewey feel so good, to which his best friend answered: “Don’t know, really. There’s just somethin’ about it makes me feel good to be alive.”

  The Glowing Girl rose up before them. Hewey eased The Pompatus in as Mia’s voice came over the comm channel: “Hey, hey! There’s my favorite RV in the whole universe!”

  He flicked on the video, and Mia’s smiling face filled the bubble of the viewport.

  She had loosely curled shoulder-length auburn hair and hazel eyes, both of which, along with her skin, she’d occasionally color, though, he reflected, rarely in garish or clashing or trendy hues. Her features were young and soft, almost girlish, including her ready smile. She had her manic moments, certainly, and she had her down times. But rarely were they, from what he knew of her, too manic or too depressive. She was a steady soul, all told, and it showed in that smile. “There you are!” she exclaimed. “You’re lookin’ good there, Probability.” She looked up. “And how are you, gooey Hewey?”

  “Momma Mia, don’t you look fine today,” said Hewey. “Long time, no see, angel.”

  “You been takin’ care of my boy?” she asked.

  “I thought I was your boy!” said Hewey indignantly, chuckling.

  “You two can have this fight later,” said Random. “It’s really good seeing you, Findlay. I’ve got a new friend I’d like you to meet. Cubey? You there?”

  A couple seconds passed. “Confirmed, Random Chance.”

  “I didn’t interrupt more contemplations on elation, did I?”

  “Negative. I am experimenting with rest. Thank you for defining its parameters. I have been sending the data back to Phobos.”

  “Cubey, this is Mia Findlay. Mia, Cubey.”

  Mia blinked. “You mean you’ve got another computer friend?”

  “He was languishing on Phobos,” said Random. “He freed me, so I freed him. Or … actually it was the other way around. It doesn’t matter. He’s with us now.”

  Mia’s smile vanished. “Are you okay, Random? Thank you for letting me know before you got here. Are you okay? Are you, Cubey?”

  “I am performing optimally, thank you, Mia Findlay,” said Cubey. “How are your systems?”

  She laughed. “All systems are a ‘go.’ And please call me Mia. I’m certainly better now that you and gooey Hewey and my favorite hippie are here.”

  “Updating files,” reported Cubey.

  The Pompatus of Love bumped up against The Glowing Girl, and Random heard the RV’s systems begin to cycle down.

  “Get in here!” she said. “I just pulled a cherry pie out of the oven!”

  ~~*~~

  She and her housemates were waiting at the airlock. One was a displaced Urantian named Tony, who
made a very handsome living supervising mining bots. The money he made he unselfishly shared in exchange for a room, food, and company. The other housemates were women, Chandra and Sileen. Sileen was transgendered; she had done the extraordinary thing of smuggling himself to Venus aboard an outgoing Vestian cargo transport to get the necessary nanobot injections to become female. The Oligarchy outlawed such injections several years ago, and to let everyone know how serious they were about enforcing them, publicly incinerated ten transgendered people and broadcast it live via the SolarWeb.

  Sileen’s bravery inspired Random, who always delighted when hearing how someone defeated the Oligarchy. Random had thought of her more than once as he sat imprisoned on Phobos, and he told her that now.

  “I’m glad to hear I helped,” she said as they hugged.

  Mia was next. They came together in a tight embrace, then a light but lingering kiss. She looked up at him and said just above a whisper, “You have been missed, Probability.”

  He kissed her again, then released her and hugged Chandra, then Tony, who said, “We’ve got to hear more about Phobos. Up to sharing?”

  “Give the man a break!” chided Mia. “He’s probably still traumatized. Let’s get him comfortable and then we can talk about that—if he wants.”

  “Actually, I would,” said Random.

  ~~*~~

  The means to produce gravity artificially without using centrifugal effects was only three hundred years old. In terms of humankind’s slow expansion throughout the solar system, that was a small chunk of time. The Glowing Girl had been built before APG; its shape, therefore, like so many other spacecraft of its time and earlier, was a large independently moving donut with pilot systems at the front of the shaft through its middle, and tremendous ore holds in the rear. The Girl had been powered by nuclear fusion; those engines had long since been stripped by previous owners and replaced with far safer solar-electric-ion thrusters that were almost never used. There was room to spare, and Random appreciated that.

  “What’s your APG set at?” he asked. They had eaten dinner and had a slice of cherry pie followed by hours of chat; now he and Mia walked into the donut towards her room.

  “Zero point eight-seven,” she said. “This ol’ boat can’t handle more. If I tried to set it at Earth-normal, parts of her would fall off. Feelin’ a bit light there, Probability?”

  He pulled her into him and kissed her, this time much more passionately than when he first boarded. They parted, and she ran her fingers along his cheek. “I’ve definitely missed those.”

  “Think they’d be better in Earth-normal?”

  “You want to go back to The Pompatus?”

  He thought for a moment. “Nah. Let’s go to your room.”

  There was a privacy function in his link to Hewey, and he used it now. “Hewson, I’d like to have a little privacy. You mind?”

  “Let Mia know if she wants a real stud, to send her my way,” replied Hewey. “Treat that angel right, y’hear? Good night, amigo …”

  “Thanks, Hewey,” said Random. He heard a quick beep, then a click, and knew the privacy function had been enabled.

  “He wants you to know if you want a ‘real stud,’ that I should send you his way,” he informed her.

  Mia laughed. “Gooey Hewey is a good friend.”

  At the door to her room he got an idea. “You know what? You should download Hewey into The Girl’s central computer. Cubey too. You couldn’t go wrong. They don’t need food or oxygen; they’re loyal; they make excellent friends; and they’ll keep you and Tony and the girls much safer. Whaddya say?”

  Mia thought for a moment, her face creasing into a disappointed frown. “I don’t think it’d work. Our central computer … it’s ancient, Rand. Hewey and Cubey run on The Pompatus’ mainframe, which is …” she shook her head disbelievingly “… didn’t you tell me once it’s military-grade or something?”

  “Would you be interested in upgrading?”

  “You mean, make myself even more indebted to you? No thanks, Probability. I already feel guilty enough for all you’ve done.”

  He leaned in for another kiss. “Don’t be silly,” he said when their lips parted. “You owe me nothing. At least promise me you’ll think about it. We can augment that mainframe with some top-shelf workings, and then Hewey and Cubey can watch over you. At least think about it.”

  “I’ll think about it,” she said. She pressed the button that opened the door, which swished silently aside. “In the meantime, I’d like to think about other things.”

  “You’re built like a car, you’ve got a hub cap diamond star halo / You’re dirty sweet and you’re my girl …” He sang as she led him by the hand into her room.

  The door closed behind them.

  ~~*~~

  She held him in the dark, her head resting on his chest. The quiet whir of The Girl’s life support was hypnotic and pushed him gently but insistently towards sleep. She pressed her fingers into his ribs, tickling him and keeping him from nodding off.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said.

  He kissed the top of her head. “You’ve been on my mind, too.”

  “In a good way or bad way?”

  “Good, of course,” he said with a chuckle. “Why would it ever be bad?” He stroked her hair. “Feelin’ a little insecure there, Findlay?”

  “No …” she murmured unsurely. “Life just feels better when you’re within reach. When you waved me about Phobos, I freaked out. I was genuinely scared for you.”

  “I was scared for me, too.”

  She ran her fingertips along his belly and played with the trail of hair there. “Tell me about Cubey.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “He sounds remarkable.”

  “He was—he is—a prison processing program.”

  “You told me.”

  “He woke up.”

  “I like that image. ‘He woke up.’ Waking. You have an astonishing gift, Probability.”

  “It’s how I like to think of it—as a gift. I try to treat it that way. I asked him on the way here to prove that he felt elation when he first saw Earth. His vital functions went way down, as though I had given him too much to think about. You want to know what he told me when he came out of it?”

  “Yeah, sure. What did he say?”

  “He said, ‘I am that I am.’ That was it!”

  “Isn’t that a verse out of a holy book or something?”

  “Yeah!” chuckled Random. “It is! I think it appears in scriptures all over the place!”

  “That’s really interesting.”

  “I agree.”

  “Do you think he and Hewey are friends?”

  “I know they are.”

  “Oh? How do you know that? How do you know Hewey doesn’t resent someone moving into his virtual space?”

  “He would’ve told me,” said Random. “He’s very honest, Hewson. I think he’s actually quite happy about the new arrangement. I get the feeling that he enjoys sharing his ‘virtual space’ with someone. I can only imagine the interactions they have in there.”

  “No kidding!”

  He kissed her head again. “Are you havin’ second thoughts about my offer, Findlay?”

  She held up. “Do you help the other girls you visit the same way?”

  He knew she’d eventually mention them. He played with her hair. “No.”

  “Truth?”

  “Truth.”

  “If I asked Hewey, would he say the same thing, or would he cover up for you?”

  “Want to ask him now?”

  Mia shook her head. “No. It’s okay.”

  “Sure you’re not feelin’ a little insecure, Findlay?”

  “Maybe a little. I like you, Probability.”

  “I like you, Findlay.”

  She rose from his chest and kissed his lips. “Okay. I’ll take you up on your offer. I’d love Hewey and Cubey to live here on The Girl. If I can’t keep you within reach, I can at least k
eep your best friends close by.”

  It was then that Random realized that while he had enabled the privacy function keeping Hewey out of Mia’s bedroom, he had forgotten about doing the same for Cubey. He gazed up at the ceiling, shook his head, and chuckled.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Mia.

  “Cubey?” he asked. “Are you there?”

  “I am, Random Chance.”

  Random scrunched his face and looked sheepishly down at Mia, who had heard Cubey as well, who was speaking through the interface between The Pompatus and The Girl. She blushed, then started laughing.

  “Oops,” said Random.

  “Random Chance?”

  “Yes, Cubey, what is it?”

  “I am new to the various methods by which humans copulate. Would you and Mia Findlay perform the technique whereby she …”

  “Okay, okay, stop,” said Random.

  “I would like to measure tensile stresses between your …”

  “Cubey, I’d like you to exit this bedroom and not come in here again unless I or Mia tell you it’s okay.”

  “Updating files. Please enjoy your copulating activities, Random Chance and Mia Findlay.”

  They heard the beep and click that told them that Cubey had done as asked.

  ~~*~~

  Vesta City wasn’t exactly a destination stop. In fact, in a SolarWeb vote a year ago it had been voted “Armpit of the Solar System.” The Vestian government and various associated commercial and civic councils protested loudly, predictably, all of which went largely ignored. In response, Vestian council members ran ads promoting Vesta City as a great place to vacation and work, and talked up the almost nonexistent crime rate and the clean parks and shops under the biodome, as well as the many exploration opportunities: Vesta had countless tunnels and caves from all the mining that had gone on there for over a thousand years, of which many were kept up for explorers, who rated their adventures very highly.

  Vesta City’s biodome was invisible, a perfect merging of nanotechnology with the dark iron-nickel rock surrounding it. It had been enhanced with radiation shielding: the city forbade miners who hadn’t been properly deradiated from entering.