‘Which isn’t very well!’ she insisted.
‘No?’ Even as he spoke he took a step towards her, his arms slowly encircling her waist as he gently pulled her against him, her body fitting perfectly to his. ‘I know you, Olivia,’ he told her. ‘And you definitely know me, too,’ he added, as her breasts hardened against his chest.
‘You’re talking about physical compatibility,’ she told him desperately, very much afraid that no matter what she might say her body was betraying her instinctive response to him.
She had never known anything like this before. She had loved Simon, spent some wonderful years with him, and yet she could never remember feeling this breathless need for him, this complete awareness of another human being, this physical ache for possession that she knew every time Ethan touched her…!
Ethan went on, ‘I’m talking about love, Olivia. The burning need to be with a certain person, the ache to love and protect her for the rest of your lives. The wanting to make her your wife.’
Her gasp was one of surprise. ‘You told me you’ve already tried being married, that you weren’t any good at it,’ she reminded him breathlessly.
‘I was twenty-one years old. What the hell did I know then of lifelong love, let alone the commitment of marriage?’ he said self-disgustedly.
Olivia looked up at him, tears swimming in her eyes. ‘But you think you know about those things now?’
His mouth tightened as he heard the mockery in her voice. ‘I don’t think it at all—I know it.’
She shook her head, blinking back the tears. ‘There’s some things about me that you need to know before you go any further with this conversation.’
His arms remained like steel bands about her waist as he refused to let her go. ‘Olivia, nothing you can say is going to change the way I feel about you.’
She wanted so badly to melt in his arms, to say yes to whatever he wanted from her, to never have to be without this man ever again. But she had so much emotional baggage, so many things that Ethan just didn’t know…
‘Let me go, Ethan,’ she told him strongly, easily releasing herself as he relaxed his hold, stepping back determinedly. ‘I—’
‘I don’t remember seeing this here last night…’ Ethan bent to pick something up from the coffee table.
Olivia paled as Ethan straightened and she saw the photograph he now held in his hands. How had that got there? She had looked at the photograph earlier, just to remind herself before she went back up to Ethan’s apartment. She didn’t remember leaving it here when she left…
But she must have done. How else could it have got from her bedroom to the sitting-room…?
How else, indeed? Faith wondered, frowning.
‘I put it there.’
Faith turned slowly to Mrs Heavenly, no longer surprised at the way the elderly angel kept appearing like this. But she was surprised at what Mrs Heavenly had just said concerning the photograph…
‘I don’t understand,’ Faith responded.
That wasn’t exactly accurate. She understood completely what Mrs Heavenly had just said to her; what she didn’t understand was the way Mrs Heavenly had taken things into her own hands. Didn’t she think Faith was capable—?
‘You’re more than capable, my dear,’ Mrs Heavenly assured her as she easily read Faith’s troubled thoughts, her blue gaze very direct as she looked at Faith. ‘I just…’ She sighed. ‘I shouldn’t have interfered, I know that. It’s just that—I was unsuccessful in helping Olivia ten years ago,’ she added heavily. ‘I would hate us not to succeed a second time simply because of Olivia’s lack of faith in herself.’
‘You—?’ Faith gasped, glancing at the troubled Olivia before turning back, wide-eyed, to Mrs Heavenly. ‘But I thought this was the first time Olivia had sent up a prayer like this…’ It was the impression Mrs Heavenly had given her, at least…
The elder angel smiled shyly. ‘I wasn’t always in the position you see me in now, my dear. Ten years ago I was the angel assigned to help Olivia in her despair,’ Mrs Heavenly told her sadly. ‘I failed her—failed to convince her that there is a time and a purpose for everything. Her prayer for help two days ago answered one of my own prayers, too,’ she confided. ‘One that I’ve had for so long I was the one who was beginning to despair. I only hope that at long last they’re both going to be answered.’ Her gaze was intense as she turned back to look at Olivia.
Faith stared at her mentor. Somehow she had never imagined Mrs Heavenly as being in the same position as herself. Or that Mrs Heavenly could ever have failed in one of her own assignments…
But if Mrs Heavenly had failed ten years ago, Faith wondered, what chance had she of succeeding now—even with Mrs Heavenly’s help…?
CHAPTER TEN
OLIVIA watched Ethan frown darkly as he looked down at the photograph he held, knowing exactly what he would see there, no longer needing to look at it herself. The image was burnt inside her head, to be conjured up whenever she needed it.
He would see a young man, boyishly handsome, with a six-month-old baby held securely in his arms, both of them laughing at the camera. Both of them laughing at Olivia as she took the photograph…
‘My husband Simon and my son Jonathan.’ Olivia spoke woodenly, her eyes deep grey orbs in the paleness of her face.
Ethan didn’t move, simply raised his gaze to look at her searchingly. ‘What happened to them?’
‘They died,’ she said harshly, forcing herself to meet his searching gaze. ‘Ten years ago. In a road accident. I—I survived.’ She spat the last detail out fiercely.
Ethan put the photograph down to give her a considering look. ‘Did you?’ he finally asked gently.
She drew in a sharp breath. ‘Of course I—’
‘Somehow I don’t think so, Olivia.’ Ethan slowly shook his head, his dark gaze unfathomable as he continued to look at her. ‘Oh, physically you may have survived,’ he conceded. ‘But, unless I’m mistaken, you let the spirit that is Olivia Hardy die along with them.’
She had heard all this before. Life has to go on, Olivia. You mustn’t bury yourself along with them, Olivia. You’re still young enough to find love again, Olivia. And finally, exasperatedly, We can’t help you if you aren’t willing to help yourself, Olivia. Oh yes, she had heard it all before—it was the reason she was now estranged from her own parents.
They meant well; she knew that. Knew that they loved her too, that it had hurt them deeply when she’d begun to distance herself from them all those years ago, until their relationship became the strained one it now was. But she just couldn’t bear to hear those things from them any more—knew that nothing anyone could say to her could ever bring back the two people she had loved so dearly.
Except…against all the odds…she was now in love with Ethan Sherbourne!
She looked at him now, a shutter down over the emotions in her eyes. ‘I can’t love anyone ever again, Ethan,’ she told him bleakly.
‘Can’t?’ he repeated. ‘Or won’t?’
She flinched at the challenge in his voice. ‘What difference does it make which it is?’ She turned away. ‘The conclusion is still the same—you’re wasting your time loving me, Ethan. If, indeed, you do,’ she added dismissively.
‘Oh, I do. And it’s my time to waste,’ he murmured close behind her, the warmth of his breath warming the nape of her neck.
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides as she forced herself not to flinch at his closeness. ‘I would like you to leave now.’ ‘No.’
She did turn to face him then, frowning incredulously. ‘I want you to leave,’ she repeated tensely.
Ethan stayed where he was. ‘And I said no. The rattle you showed Andrea this morning—it was Jonathan’s, wasn’t it?’ he probed gently.
‘Ethan—’
‘Wasn’t it?’ he persisted forcefully.
‘Well…yes. But—’
‘The first of any of his things you’ve ever given away?’ Ethan continued his probing
.
She swayed slightly, closing her eyes, instantly seeing those two big brown boxes in her second bedroom that contained everything that had ever been Jonathan’s; she had never been able to bear parting with any of it.
‘Olivia!’ Ethan was breathing shakily as he once again took her into his arms. ‘I can’t even begin to imagine what losing the two of them did to you.’ He spoke into her hair. ‘Nor can I blame you for wanting to shut yourself away emotionally these last ten years—if only so that you could never be hurt in that way again. But don’t you see, my darling, that it’s too late to think you can carry on doing that any longer? By giving Andrea that toy this morning, perhaps without realising what you were doing, you began the painful process of letting go—’
‘Rubbish!’ Olivia denied heatedly, trying to escape Ethan’s arms—but failing as he simply tightened his hold on her. ‘It was only a teething ring, for goodness’ sake!’ She glared up at him.
‘It was Jonathan’s teething ring,’ he insisted evenly.
Olivia’s anger towards him deepened. ‘Well, he’s hardly going to need it again, is he—? I can’t believe I just said that!’ she groaned emotionally, burying her face in her hands. ‘He was so beautiful, Ethan. So young, and sweet—such a happy baby.’ She shook her head. ‘And ultimately so utterly vulnerable…!’ She began to cry then, deep heartrending sobs, the tears falling like hot rain down her cheeks.
Ethan’s arms tightened about her as he lifted her up and carried her over to one of the armchairs, sitting down with her cradled in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as he let her continue to cry.
How long they sat like that Olivia had no idea, only knew that finally she felt exhausted by her own grief. And so very aware of Ethan’s closeness…
She shook her head. ‘I can’t love you, Ethan,’ she told him gruffly.
‘As I said—can’t or won’t…?’ he returned softly.
She raised her head to look at him. ‘Does it matter which?’
‘Of course it matters,’ he said.
Olivia gave a scathing snort. ‘Don’t you already have enough women in your harem without trying to add me to their number?’
Ethan remained unmoved by her deliberate attempt to alienate him. ‘I’m a fashion photographer, Olivia. Sometimes I work from home.’ He shrugged. ‘There is no woman in my life. Only you. Each and every one of those women you’ve seen coming to my apartment has been there for one reason only—so that I can photograph them. Remind me to show you my studio in the second bedroom when we go back upstairs,’ he said, as she continued to look sceptical.
He was that Sherbourne…! Why had she never thought of such a simple explanation for the comings and goings to Ethan’s apartment of those numerous women? Because it had been easier to think of Ethan as a rake and a womaniser, and not a world-famous fashion-photographer, came the instant answer to that question!
‘I’m not going back upstairs with you—’
‘Oh, yes, you are,’ he assured her. ‘Can’t you see, Olivia? It’s too late. For both of us. I wasn’t exactly looking for love myself, you know,’ he added teasingly. ‘I’ve spent the last twenty years perfecting the art of the brief, meaningless relationship,’ he said. ‘But you, with your huge expressive eyes, that ethereal beauty, the snappy dialogue you’ve developed to hide your own vulnerability—you’ve crept under my defences, Olivia. And, although I may not have been looking for love, I do not intend turning my back on the gift now that it’s been given to me.’
A gift…Yes, love was a gift. Could she really take the risk of loving someone again, of perhaps losing them?
But, as Ethan had said, did she really have a choice, when she was already in love with him? Was denying him now, ejecting him from her life, going to make any difference to the way she felt about him?
She wasn’t seriously thinking of accepting his proposal, was she…?
To spend every day and night with Ethan…To wake up beside him in the morning and know that he loved her as much as she loved him…To come home to him each evening and know that he had simply been counting the hours, as she had, until they could be together again…To have dinner with him every night…To lie in his arms every night…To do all the simple day-to-day things together, like shopping, and preparing food…
All the things she had once done with Simon…
‘Would Simon have wanted you to spend the rest of your life alone?’ Ethan’s arms tightened about her as he seemed to sense the drift of her thoughts. ‘Would you have wanted that for him if he had been the one left behind?’
‘Of course not,’ she gasped, her face paling as she realised what she had just said. ‘I loved Simon very much,’ she told Ethan defensively—but realised even as she did so that she had used the past tense…
‘Of course you did,’ Ethan agreed. ‘And loving me doesn’t mean you have to stop loving him,’ he assured her firmly. ‘I’m going to ask you again, Olivia.’ He straightened in the chair, looking her fully in the face now, his gaze intense. ‘Will you marry me? Will you let me love you? Will you love me in return? Will you marry me so that we can spend the rest of our lives together?’
Olivia swallowed hard, her heart leaping at the words, her cheeks flushed, her pulse beating erratically in her chest.
Could she do that? Could she make what was, after all, a leap of faith?
‘Will she?’ Faith groaned, chewing worriedly on her bottom lip as she watched Olivia and Ethan together.
‘Shh,’ Mrs Heavenly admonished impatiently. ‘Or we’ll miss her answer!’
EPILOGUE
‘OLIVIA…? Darling, I’m home!’ Ethan called out. ‘I’ve got the tree.’ He barely paused as he put his car keys down on the tray in the hallway. ‘But I’ll need some help bringing it into the—Oomph!’ He groaned breathlessly as Olivia ran from the kitchen to launch herself into his arms. ‘Hello, my darling.’ He grinned down at her before kissing her soundly on the lips. ‘Mmm, you smell good.’ He buried his face in her shoulder-length hair.
‘I’ve been preparing and steaming the Christmas pudding this afternoon.’ Olivia laughed happily. ‘With a little help from my friends, of course,’ she added indulgently, barely having time to move out of the way as two small tornadoes came hurtling down the hallway.
‘Daddy!’ the duo cried together, even as they launched themselves into their father’s waiting arms.
Olivia’s smile widened as she watched their small daughters snuggle up to Ethan, one in each arm, the two of them giggling happily as their father tickled them by blowing lightly on their chubby necks.
At two years old, Emily and Daisy were as alike as two peas in a pod—dark-haired, brown-eyed little charmers. Much like their father, Olivia thought indulgently as she gazed lovingly at her husband.
‘Did you make a big Christmas pudding?’ he was teasing his daughters now. ‘We have Nanny and Grandad coming to spend Christmas with us this year.’ He smiled at Olivia with this mention of her parents. ‘And Andrew, Shelley and Andrea.’
Olivia never ceased to wonder at the transformation there had been to her life these last three years: her reconciliation with her parents, her marriage to Ethan, their move to this large house in the country, Andrew’s marriage to Shelley, the birth of the twins a year after their own wedding…
Although it was her love and marriage that she cherished the most. Ethan was a wonderful husband—caring, considerate, loving her so completely she could never doubt their future together.
It truly was a marriage made in heaven…
Mrs Heavenly, smiling from above, with tears of happiness in her eyes, could only nod silently.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4890-2
Copyright © 2009 Harlequin Books S.A.
The publisher acknowledges the copyright holders of the individual works as follows:
The St. James Affair
Copyright © 2003 by Susan Wiggs
Santa, Baby
Copyright © 2006 by Sherryl Woods
>
The Five Days of Christmas
Copyright © 2001 by Lindsay McKenna
A Heavenly Christmas
Copyright © 2004 by Carole Mortimer
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and ™ are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
www.eHarlequin.com
Romancing the Holidays Bundle 2009 Page 34