An Imperfect Circle

by R. J. Sable

  It’s obvious they’re hoping that she won’t make it again but I have to admit, it smells all right so far.

  “Elise can sit next to you, can’t she, Jamie?” Karl prompts, nudging me towards the chair next to her.

  Jamie-Lea frowns as she scrutinises me. “But she hurt you.”

  “What?” The twins laugh.

  “She gave him a cabbage!” She insists urgently.

  “A turnip,” Matt guffaws. “She means a turnip.”

  “She didn’t really hurt me, Jamie,” Karl chuckles, winking it me.

  “Really?” Ian scoffs. “Because it looked like you were going to cry.”

  “Like hell,” Karl scowls.

  “Boys,” Andrew warns. “Sit down and have some decorum.”

  They reluctantly sit down and I do the same. Jamie is still eyeing me suspiciously and I actually feel guilty under her scrutiny. She’s obviously very loyal.

  “Jamie, Elise is my friend, okay?” Karl prompts, leaning past me. “I want you to be extra nice to her.”

  Jamie maintains her suspicious stare but nods obediently.

  “Jamie-Lea is a very pretty name,” I say in an effort to win her over as the food is being dished out.

  “It’s my name,” she nods.

  “Yes it is,” I chuckle. “I like it.”

  She tries to maintain her glare but she ends up smiling and I feel like patting myself on the back because I made her smile and her face lights up when she smiles. The Carter genes are clearly good ones because this little girl is absolutely adorable and I kind of want to hug her.

  Yes, me. I want to hug somebody, by choice.

  “It is a good name,” Peter agrees, returning to take his seat next to Jamie just as the last bowl is filled. “You remember how you got your name, princess?”

  Jamie frowns and pouts simultaneously and I almost do something out of character and gush because she’s so fudging cute!

  Peter chuckles and glances at Andrew as if expecting him to fill us in but he just studies the stew with an uncanny level of focus. Peter clenches his teeth slightly but the slight flicker of irritation is replaced with one of adoration as he returns his gaze to Jamie.

  “When we found out Jamie was on her way, we didn’t know if she would be a boy or a girl so the plan was that all the boys would put names into a bag. They each had to pick one girl’s name and one boy’s name and then put it in the bag. Then we’d pick names out of the bag and the first boy’s and girl’s names we picked would be the names for Jamie when she arrived,” Peter explained.

  “Only it didn’t quite go to plan,” Danny chuckles.

  Peter nods. “We picked every name out of the bag and they were all for boys.”

  “What?” I laugh, looking around at the boys.

  “Well, let’s be honest,” Ian grins. “The track record wasn’t exactly giving high odds for a girl.”

  “I’m the first girl,” Jamie adds her very helpful explanation.

  “Yes you are,” Peter pinches her cheek affectionately. “But Craig came up with an idea.”

  Craig looks up from the table when he realises Peter is expecting him to speak. “Somebody had picked Jamie and somebody had picked Lee.”

  “I picked Jamie,” the twins say together.

  “I picked Lee,” Karl grins.

  “But if you put them together as Jamie-Lea, it’s a girls name.”

  “My name is a girl’s name,” Jamie declares and I can see her glaring at Jake who glares back. I suspect he may have been teasing her about having a boy’s name.

  “And a very pretty one at that,” I agree because it suits her. I like that her brothers were all involved in naming her.

  “Let’s eat before it gets cold,” Andrew speaks, drawing the full attention of his family.

  “I’ll concede the honours to the chef,” Peter beams at Jamie. The Carters have this rule that the eldest at the table is always first to eat as a sign of respect.

  “Me?” Jamie gasps, eyes wide with pride.

  Peter nods with a kind smile and Jamie picks up her spoon and starts on her food.

  I know the Carter boys and I know they’d usually dig in to their food without a second thought but I giggle as I watch them all wait for Jamie’s reaction before they lift their spoons.

  Andrew and Peter are already on their first mouthfuls but the boys wait until they see Jamie-Lea start on her second spoonful before they dig in.

  “Holy shit!” Matt exclaims.

  “Matthew!” Andrew barks.

  “Sorry, sir,” Matt winces. “But have you tasted this, its fu- I mean, it’s…” he pauses to take another mouthful and then moans in approval.

  The rest of them are sort of half groaning in ecstasy and half shovelling their spoons into their mouths. It’s like watching a pig try and drink out of a china teacup.

  I chuckle as I take my first taste and suddenly I’m wishing there was some sort of way I could taste more of it. Holy Wagon Wheels is this stuff good. Everyone is staring at Jamie in wonder as she continues eating her stew in blissful ignorance. I don’t think she’s even looked up at them. She’s just focussing really hard on not spilling her stew as she moves it to her mouth.

  “There’s no way Jamie-Lea made this!” Jake chirps.

  “Your grandma only did the chopping,” Peter informs him. “She wasn’t feeling good so Jamie pretty much took over.”

  “Jamie-Lea,” Ian prompts and she looks up at the sound of her name.

  “Yes?” She asks nervously. It’s like it’s suddenly occurred to her that her big brothers might not like her cooking and she looks mortified at the idea.

  “This is really good,” he smiles reassuringly.

  She sags with relief and her face lights up with that beautiful smile. That girl will never need make-up.

  “One problem though,” Karl frowns.

  “What?” Jamie’s eyes widen in horror, scanning the table to see what the problem is.

  “I need more?” Karl grins, holding up the bowl that he’s practically licked clean.

  “Grandma said you always have to make two pots to feed Carters,” Jamie smiles. “There’s another pot on the big hobble in the kitchen.”

  “On the hob, Jamie,” Craig smiles fondly.

  “On the hob,” she repeats bashfully.

  “Did your grandma tell you what to put in it?” I ask Jamie because, honestly, it was absolutely delicious and she’s six years old for crying out loud.

  “Grandma said I had to smell the jars with the herbs. She said to smell the food then the herbs and add the ones that smelt nice. I smelt them all. I put the nice ones in and then some brown stuff and some red stuff.”

  I nod like I understand but I have no idea what brown and red stuff she could possibly have put in but it worked so I’m not going to question it.

  “Well, you should be careful, you keep cooking like this and they’ll make you cook every night,” I wink at her.

  She actually beams at this and I think she quite likes the idea.

  I help wash up because I’ve just eaten their food for free so it’s the least I can do. The pizzas go forgotten with the pleasant stew surprise and we sort of congregate in the downstairs den after the clean up is done.

  I plonk my rear down in the corner of the sofa and Karl sits next to me. To my surprise, Jamie-Lea comes and stands in front of me. She holds her arms out in silent request and Karl leans forwards so he can lift her onto my lap. She sits sideways and puts her feet on her brother.

  “Elise,” Jamie-Lea says my name like she’s testing how it sounds.

  “She likes ‘Ellie’,” Karl prompts.

  “Actually, I think it’s okay if you call me Elise, Jamie-Lea,” I smile because it just feels right. Elise is definitely who I’ve felt like today and it hasn’t been as scary as I thought it might.

  “Elise,” she nods and then looks up at me and smiles broadly. “I like your hair.”

  “Me too,” I grin at her. “An
d I like yours too.”

  She blushes and looks over at Karl. “You’re smiling.”

  Karl chuckles and glances at me with a cheeky smirk before he looks back at his sister. “Am I not allowed to smile?”

  “You are,” she nods enthusiastically. “I like it when you smile.”

  Karl just shakes his head and laughs like Jamie’s crazy but I have to admit, I like it when he smiles too. I like the way his lips curl upwards and his eyes twinkle. I like the way I can almost feel his happiness as my own.

  I’m kind of liking being his friend.

  When the show we’re watching ends, Andrew pops back into the room to tell Jamie it’s time for her to go to bed. She nods dutifully and raises her arms hopefully, obviously asking for a hug from her father.

  “Jamie,” Andrew sighs.

  “Just give the girl a hug, Andrew,” Peter frowns.

  Andrew bends down and gives her a brief hug. I can almost see sadness in his eyes as he squeezes his youngest child. There’s love in his gaze but there’s sadness in there too. I guess he must still miss his wife. Even I can see the resemblance Jamie bears to her but that’s not really an excuse to avoid a hug.

  “Ian, take your sister to bed,” Andrew orders with a regretful expression.

  “Yes, sir,” Ian nods, standing up and chucking Jamie over his shoulder. “Come on, Master Chef. Let’s get your teeth brushed.”

  “Going to drop her again, E?” Matt smirks as Ian carries her out of the room.

  Ian just grins and pretends to drop his sister, catching her at the last second. She doesn’t look scared even for a second. In fact, she’s giggling happily.

  “Don’t get her riled up before her bed time, Ian,” Andrew frowns but he doesn’t look too angry.

  I turn back to Karl as the two of them disappear up the stairs, smiling because, for the first time, I sort of wish I had a brother.

  “Why do you all call Ian ‘E’?” I prompt. “It seems a little lazy considering Ian only has three letters.”

  The Carters all chuckle.

  “Get Jamie to say his name next time you see her,” Karl grins.

  “She’s gotten better now but she couldn’t say his name when she was younger. She just said ‘Eee’. Now it sounds more like ‘Een’,” Matt nods.

  “Bless,” I smile because I didn’t think it was possible for her to get any more adorable.

  “It’s not hard to say, Ian,” Jake mocks.

  “You couldn’t say my name when you were younger,” I point out. He’s equally adorable as he sits in between the twins.

  “I’ve never met you before today,” Jake frowns at me.

  “Yes you have, Jacob,” Andrew corrects him. “You just don’t remember because it was a long time ago. Elise used to live next door.”

  “She’s seen you naked,” the twins goad him.

  Jake’s eyes widen slightly as he looks at me in horror.

  “It was a very long time ago,” I try to reassure him. “I don’t remember.”

  “Don’t wind him up,” Andrew instructs the twins who are both wriggling their pinky fingers in Jake’s direction.

  When they don’t immediately stop Andrew stands up and glares at them and they both groan as he points to the floor.

  “Twenty,” Andrew instructs.

  “Dad!” They groan.

  “Thirty,” he raises an eyebrow at them and they both dutifully begin their thirty push-ups without further complaint.

  Karl and Matt snicker but Andrew turns his attention to Matt and he grimaces.

  “And you swore earlier.”

  Matt nods glumly but joins the twins for a set of ten sit-ups.

  “I told you that you swore too much,” I laugh at Matt.

  “He’s been swearing at school has he?” Andrew raises an eyebrow and I here Matt groan in between crunches. “First I’ve heard of this.”

  His gaze is on Karl rather than Matt, which confuses me at first but I realise Andrew thinks Karl has been covering for Matt, which he has. He wouldn’t tattle on his best friend.

  Instead of grumbling, Karl just nods in acceptance and goes to join Matt and the twins on the floor. I just grin because I know Matt’s going to be irritated with me for getting him in trouble but it’s funny to watch and he really does swear too much.

  Chapter 19

  I should have just gotten the bus home. I really should. It started getting late and Andrew insisted on giving me a lift back. He offered me a place to sleep for the night but that didn’t feel like a good idea and this was the lesser of two evils.

  I’ve text my mum to let her know I’m on my way home and that I’m not alone because I have a sneaking suspicion that Andrew, Karl, and Matt will want to come in.

  I direct Andrew to my street, past the gang of teenagers hanging out on the corner, and he pulls up onto the kerb outside my house.

  I see Matt grimace whilst exchanging a look with Karl and at first I want to punch him because I think he’s judging my house but then I see him looking at the gang of people who are approaching.

  He doesn’t need to worry. The people from round here can look a bit intimidating but we’ve never had any problems. As long as we’re polite to them, they’re polite to us. A lot of these kids have family who buy homemade soaps and lotions from my mum so I never feel threatened by them.

  “Alright, Smithy,” one of the teenagers nods his head in greeting.

  It takes me a second to realise they’re talking to Matt. They all seem to know him. It’s then I remember that Karl said Matt used to walk to football matches from Normanton. He must have grown up in the area.

  “Alright,” Matt mutters back, not even glancing in the direction of the kids.

  “How’s your sister?” Another one smirks and I see Matt’s back tense but he continues walking towards my house.

  “Dunno,” Matt shrugs and I catch his eye as he passes me. The anger is burning full furnace. He looks about ready to kill something, slowly and painfully, with his bare hands.

  I watch Andrew turn around and give the group a look that I’ve seen plenty of times before. It’s a look that Ian also seems to have mastered. It’s a look that says “shut up and keep on walking if you know what’s good for you.”

  The message is received loud and clear and the group move on. Andrew and Karl act like nothing happened and I know Matt is waiting for my reaction. I didn’t know he had a sister but there has to be a reason he lives with the Carters and the mere mention of her existence triggered that anger so I can draw my own conclusions.

  Matt’s always been considerate when I’ve had my freakouts and weak moments and I owe him the same courtesy.

  “Come on,” I smile. “The tea’ll be stewed and nobody likes stewed herbal tea.” I hook my arm around Matt’s in an effort to show solidarity and understanding even though it puts me out of my comfort zone.

  “Herbal tea?” Andrew grimaces.

  “Herbal tea,” I nod with a grin. I’m used to this reaction. People tend to prefer English Breakfast but you get used to it.

  “I’m not drinking herbal tea, demongirl,” Matt grumbles.

  I sag with relief as I open the door because he sounds like he’s recovered slightly. “Aunt Cecile probably has coffee, too,” I reassure him.

  Karl tugs me away from Matt as we take our shoes off in the hall but he doesn’t offer an explanation and pretends like it never happened. I catch the backend of a silent message being communicated between the two friends but I’m none the wiser as Matt chuckles and shakes his head.

  “Welcome home, darling,” mum gushes when I enter the kitchen.

  I smile back and grin as I see Bear emerge shirtless from the lounge.

  “Ey up, glowbug,” Bear greets me with a wink.

  “Andrew,” my mum greats Karl’s dad with a small hug and a kiss to each cheek. It wouldn’t do to forget her French roots after all.

  “Hi, Corinne,” Andrew responds politely. “Thanks for letting us borrow Elise fo
r the evening. She’s been great help.”

  “Oh, wonderful,” mum answers. “It’s nice that these two have found each other again.”

  I grimace and thank the Earth mother for not giving me the ability to blush. Mum starts offering tea and biscuits so I usher Matt and Karl into the lounge because Mum’s bound to keep Andrew busy for at least fifteen minutes.

  Bear follows us in and grabs the armchair, leaving the sofa for us.

  “Karl, Matt, this is Bear,” I introduce them and Bear offers a friendly smile in greeting whilst the guys nod their heads.

  “Karl Carter?” Bear questions, looking at me inquisitively.

  I nod, confirming that this is in fact the boy who Bear has heard me talk about and, more recently, complain about for hours on end.

  “I don’t remember Elise having an uncle,” Karl levels Bear with an interrogating glare and I elbow him in the ribs because he’s breaking the rules but he doesn’t seem to feel it. “Are you Cecile’s husband?”

  “No,” Bear chuckles, seemingly tickled by the idea. “Spirit uncle is just a label the community uses for somebody who helps a new member to find themselves.”

  “So you’re not related?” Matt cocks his head at Bear.

  “No,” Bear grins at me. “But sometimes it feels like it.”

  I nod because he’s right and that’s not a bad thing.

  “Do you live here?” Karl continues. It sounds likes he’s interrogating Bear but he doesn’t seem to mind, if anything he seems happy about it. I learnt a long time ago to stop trying to figure out what goes on in Bear’s head. The man is an enigma.

  “At the minute I do,” Bear smiles.

  “Where do you sleep?”

  “Mate,” Matt cuts Karl off with a sideways glance at me. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I like a man who asks questions,” Bear laughs, completely unperturbed.

  “Just making conversation,” Karl frowns, his eyes still on Bear. He appears uncomfortably tense and I’m not sure why. It seems like he doesn’t really like Bear and that annoys me because he doesn’t even know him.

  “Why don’t you go show Karl your room, glowbug?” Bear prompts. I don’t really want to but Bear has that look on his face that tells me that he’s got a reason.