by R. J. Sable
Craig doesn’t deserve that.
“Where’s my apology, ass hat?” Matt prompts.
“Right here,” Karl sticks his hand in his pocket and brings out his middle finger.
“Karl!” I bark because that was just rude.
“Joking!” He raises his hands in a placating gesture. “He knows I’m sorry. I’ve said it already.”
“He still looks angry,” I point out.
“He always looks angry!” Karl argues with a grin.
He may have a point there.
“I haven’t forgiven you,” Matt remarks, watching the back and forth with an amused smile. “What the fuck’s wrong with you. You should have chosen Elise.”
“I didn’t choose either of you. I did what I thought was right for both of you,” he says exasperatedly.
“She’s the fucking love of your life, any tool could have told you what you did was messed up but you wouldn’t have listened.”
“You don’t get it,” Karl growls and I notice happily he doesn’t deny the love of his life thing.
“Of course I don’t. Nobody does!” Matt snaps.
“Fine. I’m a fucking idiot. I messed up the best thing that ever happened to me. Is that what you want to hear? I scared away the woman I love and I’ll probably never get that chance again. Are you fucking happy now?” Karl screams loud enough to wake the whole house. He’s on his feet with his chest expanding and contracting rapidly.
“Apology accepted,” Matt smirks, lazily unfolding his body from the sofa and rising to his feet. “Good night, love birds.”
He strolls out of the room without a backwards glance and leaves me to deal with that little revelation.
He did that on purpose.
Karl groans and sinks back down to the sofa, covering his face with his hands.
Without even realising what’s happened, I’ve moved and I’m sat right next to him. My hands rise to his without instruction form me. I pull his wrists away from his face and lock my fingers with his so that I can look at him.
“Karl…” I whisper.
“Don’t,” he warns, shaking his head back and forth with his eyes tightly shut.
“Did you mean all that?” I ignore him.
There’s a painful second of silence as he forces his eyes open to meet mine.
“Every last word,” he admits, raw emotion ripe in the rasp of his voice.
“What about the bit about never getting the chance again?” I urge. “Did you mean that bit?”
He nods dejectedly. “I’ll never find somebody like you, Elise. You’re perfect in your imperfection. You’re everything to me.”
“Why would you need to find somebody like me?” I stifle a smirk. “You have me already.”
“But I lost you,” he shakes his head.
“Never,” I shake my head adamantly and squeeze his hands.
“I was always yours, Karl. Ever since I was six.”
“But I hurt you,” he says so quietly I almost don’t hear it. He’s ashamed and quite rightly so but I understand now and that makes accepting it easier.
“And I hurt you when I gave up on us all those years ago. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.”
“You’d take me back?” His eyes widen slightly and brighten with something I haven’t seen since Andrew was alive.
Hope.
“In a heartbeat.”
He grins and pulls me into a hug, burying his face in my hair and breathing me in. My whole body is immediately alive with our shared energy, humming though my body and soothing all the cruel words, lonely nights, and seconds passed without him.
“Elise?” He whispers when we slowly release each other.
“Mmm?” I reply semi-coherently because I’m on a post-hug high.
“A good girlfriend would give me a kiss right now,” he smirks.
So I do. Because I’m the best girlfriend ever.
Chapter 38
He’s really going. I knew it would happen but I didn’t know it would feel like this.
I swallow past the knot of fear in my chest because this is important to him. I love him and I want to support him the way he has me with my dreams of selling my work but it’s hard knowing he’ll be away for so long.
I wait at the end of the hall as he says good-bye to everyone. The dark green uniform he’s wearing suits him. It looks right, like it was meant to be and I know he wears it with pride.
“Elise,” he whispers, smirking slightly as if he’s amused by my slow perusal of his body.
It’s not my fault. It’s not. His uniform is pretty tight and I couldn’t help but notice him.
“Karl,” I whisper back once I finally meet his eye.
“It’s only six weeks until I come back for the weekend,” he reminds me for the thousandth time.
“With your beret,” I muster a smile because I’ll be so proud once he gets it.
“Hopefully,” he half-smiles back. I know he’s terrified of letting the family, his father’s memory, and – most importantly – himself down.
But he won’t. I know that with complete certainty.
“Definitely,” I nod decisively. He’ll get through the first phase without problem.
“I’ll miss you,” he keeps his voice low because the others are close by and we still like our intimate moments kept private.
“I’ll miss you too,” I manage, with the threat of a break in my voice. I don’t want to cry but I might.
“Try and keep Matt busy for me,” he asks again. “And look after them all.”
“I will,” I repeat the promise I’ve made a few times now. “And Ian will be here a bit more often. We’ll all be fine.”
He nods and takes a deep breath before pulling me into his arms. Because we’ve been trying to rebuild up our relationship slowly, we haven’t had much personal contact in months and it feels so fudging right that I’d give up Wagon Wheels forever just to stay in his arms.
Even in his brand new uniform, I can still smell his unique mixture of smells and it’s comforting presence destroys all my efforts not to cry. Wood stain and cinnamon smells like home.
He’s mine. I can’t be without him. This thought pushes me over the edge and into full on tears. Karl whispers something in my ear but it’s so quiet that I don’t hear it over my sniffling so I pull back slightly so I can look at him and demand he repeat it.
He hesitates and glances at his family out of the corner of his eye. Ian and Matt are already ushering everyone away because they know we want privacy.
“Don’t make me say it again,” he pleads in an uncharacteristically soft voice.
I cock my head at him because he knows I’m curious and will want to know what he said. Him not wanting to say it twice just makes me want to know even more.
He sighs, understanding this without me having to say it.
I smile, because we’re close enough again that he knows what I’m thinking.
“I said I love you,” he whispers. He looks so vulnerable, so scared, that my heart doubles in size with pure, limitless love. We haven’t exchanged those words since we got back together and I drink in every sound from his lips with an uncontrollable thirst.
“I screwed up, darlin’. I know I did. But I need you to know how much I love you before I go. I never stopped. Never will.”
If I wasn’t so elated at the confirmation of what I knew all along, I’d be bathing in the glory of being right. But I can’t, because I need to be in his arms again.
I grab him hard and squeeze with all my might. I wish I could merge the atoms of our beings together so he’d have to take me with him.
“I knew you still loved me too,” he chuckles once I release him and he can breathe again.
I smirk because I didn’t even need to say it and he knew. That’s the way it should be. Love doesn’t need to be vocalised to be felt.
“I have something for you to take with you,” I tell him confidently. I’m only confident because I’ve decided he doe
sn’t have a choice about this.
He owes me big time so he’s going to have to just accept what I tell him.
He raises an expectant eyebrow and I hold out my closed fist, palm up. I slowly uncurl my fingers to reveal the delicate silver chain he gave me that Christmas that feels so long ago, even though it was less than two years.
“No,” he growls, taking a step back. “I’m not taking it back, Elise.” He looks angry, furious, ready to spit feathers so I smirk and dangle the chain from one finger so he can see it properly.
See what’s missing.
“Where’s…” He trails off as I step forward and take his hand with mine. I twist our intertwined hands over so he can see what’s on my finger. Where it belongs.
“For when you finish training,” I tell him. “I’ll plan everything.”
“You mean…”
“Any thoughts on a colour scheme?”
“Elise-”
“I’m thinking blue and white,” I continue, ignoring him completely so that he understands that this is happening. End of story.
“Are you-”
“Just a small ceremony. Close family and friends. Well, you’re family is large so small-ish and-” This time he cuts me off.
With a kiss.
The deepest, most passion-fuelled kiss yet. Our cheeks are wet with tears and our lips ravenous as we embrace one another and really think about what this means.
We’re getting married.
I’m marrying my soul mate, my best friend, and the man who rescued me. Whether he likes it or not.
“You’re sure?” He pulls back, breathless but happy.
“I’m yours,” I tell him with a smile.
“And I’ve always been yours,” he answers with a blissfully happy grin.
We stare at each other for long seconds and contemplate the years ahead of us. It’s been a tough year, for both of us, but no matter what life throws at us, it’ll be a lot easier to handle knowing we have each other. Permanently.
With Karl gone and his promise on my finger, the time spent in his absence is hard. When we do see each other, it’s only for short lengths of time and we spend it all with his family. Which is great, because I love them, but we need time together. Just us.
If it wasn’t for the amazing Becky Blossom keeping me busy I don’t know what I’d do. She’s at University now, studying law, but despite all her work, she still calls me every night to help me plan the wedding.
My wedding.
I grin every time I think that and it’s one of the few thoughts that make Karl’s absence bearable. Because I know that when he’s done with training, we’ll be bound in law as we are in spirit.
There is so much to plan that I never factored in but Becky is the obvious choice for head bridesmaid. She cried when I asked her. It was hilarious.
She didn’t believe me when I told her I was getting married. She thought I was winding her up. I can understand her hesitance to accept the idea. Karl and I are only eighteen but we both know what Andrew and Helen would have said. And Mum and Bear feel the same.
They know we’ve been in love since we were six. They know it’s the right thing for us.
Between Karl’s new income and my new business, we’ve found a little house not too far from the Carter residence and I’ve started slowly making it into our home.
I didn’t want to take Karl away from his family but, if we’re going to be married, we need our own space.
It’s only small but it’s perfect for us. It’s walking distance of his family home so we can pop round whenever we like or if we’re needed.
It has a big enough lounge that we can have people over and there’s a spare bedroom in case Matt wants to stay with us at any time.
It will be our home.
“Have you finished the kitchen?” Becky asks me late one night as we chat away.
“Almost,” I grin. “The kitchen table has been the main problem.”
“Still trying to make it round?” She grins through the phone.
“No. I decided it didn’t need to be perfect in the end,” I answer. I’d been trying to make a circular kitchen table from rustic oak but the natural knots and buckles of the wood has presented a problem.
In the end, I realised I was trying to force it and I was ignoring the natural beauty of the wood’s imperfections. It was perfect just the way it was.
“Rob said it weighed a tonne,” she giggles. He and Matt helped me carry it into the house. I made it in the little workshop I rent on the outskirts of town. The central hub for my new business.
“It was nice of him to help out,” I smile.
“He didn’t mind,” Becky answers genuinely. “You’re my best friend and he knows that. He wants you happy.”
“Well, I appreciated it,” I nod.
“He’s worried about the wedding,” Becky admits after a few moments hesitation.
“Join the club,” I chuckle because I still have so much left to plan. “How come?”
“Well, I’m the head bridesmaid,” she begins and I know she’s chewing her bottom lip without having to see her. “And Matt’s the best man.”
“Yes,” I agree.
“So I have to dance with Matt, don’t I?”
I laugh. I can’t help it. “Rob is jealous?”
“A little,” she admits sheepishly.
“Blossom,” I coo affectionately. “Nobody has to do anything they don’t want to at the wedding.” I pause to consider this. “Except Karl. If he changes his mind, he still has to marry me.”
This time, Becky laughs. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
“Good,” I grin. “Seriously though, Blossom. Don’t worry about Matt. He won’t cause any trouble.”
“Are you sure?” She asks, sounding more cheerful.
“Definitely. If you’re unhappy, I’ll be unhappy and if I’m unhappy, Karl will be annoyed. Matt won’t want to annoy Karl.”
“Good,” Becky breathes out a sigh of relief.
“Besides, I’m sure Matt won’t have a problem finding willing volunteers to dance with.”
“No,” Becky scoffs. “He’s such a tramp.”
I giggle. Because it’s true.
Chapter 39
“Hands off my wife, Matt,” Karl warns. He’s trying to sound threatening but it’s sort of ruined by the way he smiles around the word ‘wife’.
I’ve got to admit, it’s got a nice ring to it.
“You can’t deny me a dance with the best man,” I tell him.
“I can and I will,” he explains, slipping his arm around my waist and delicately lifting me away from his best friend. I’d pinch him but he drops a simple, gentle kiss on my cheek and it placates me.
I can’t be angry with him on our wedding day.
Not when he hasn’t complained. Not even once.
I planned every detail of this wedding and, whilst I did ask Matt and his brothers for pointers, most of it is based heavily on my own choices.
I expected a few grumblings about some of the finer details. Like the Wagon Wheels at every place setting.
They were out of the packets and wrapped in ribbons. If he’d have complained I would have pointed that out to him. But he didn’t.
He didn’t even complain about the adorable matching outfits I made all his brothers wear and the coordinating dress Jamie wore.
So I can hardly be mad at him for being slightly territorial. We haven’t seen each other for weeks. I literally organised the wedding for three days after he got back. And Matt and Ian set the stag do for the first day he was home.
“Hands off,” he warns Matt with a smile.
“She’s all yours,” Matt smirks. “I don’t do the freaky ones.”
“I’m too much for you to handle anyway,” I grin, remembering this little back and forth from my first day at school.
He shakes his head with a chuckle and then sobers slightly. “You know I’m really happy for you both, right?”
“We know, mate,” Karl nods seriously. “Thank you,” he adds quietly.
“You two are such girls,” I mock them because this is basically the conversation me and Becky just had in the bathroom.
“Fuck off and consummate already,” Matt returns, pointing to the door.
Karl looks at me sideways but I just laugh. We’ve already talked about this, or rather about not doing it.
I can’t count how many times he’s told me it doesn’t matter. I know he means it so I haven’t been stressing.
But I’m going to make tonight special for us anyway.
My first night as his wife.
As his Mrs Carter.
He carries me over the threshold into the hotel room we’ll be sharing. Between buying our house and starting a business, we haven’t got a lot of cash to spare but Granddad Carter booked us a weekend in a beautiful hotel as a wedding present.
“Alone,” he grins slowly sliding me down his body until my toes reach the floor. “Have I told you how absolutely, completely, and utterly beautiful you look in your dress?”
“You may have mentioned it a few times,” I retort with a wry smile because it’s at least the twelfth time in the past three hours.
“I can’t say it enough,” he ignores my mocking and carries on raking me over with his beautiful aquamarine eyes.
“You look pretty good yourself,” I grin. “Whoever picked your clothes must have taste.”
“Must have since she married me.”
“She did,” I agree. It feels so surreal.
We’re married now.
“I meant it you know.”
“Meant what?” I ask, slowly undoing the buttons of his silver waistcoat.
“To love and to cherish,” he explains. “For the rest of my life.”
“I always feel loved and cherished with you,” I smile, pausing in my attempts to get him naked because I mean this with all my heart and I want him to know that.
“Why are you undressing me?” He asks once I resume my unbuttoning.
“Do I need a reason?” I shrug.
“I know you like my body but don’t you want some champagne first?” He grins.
“I don’t want to be drunk for this. I don’t want there to be any chance that I’ll forget even a second of this day.”