by Noelle Adams
“I didn’t know. I wondered. You haven’t dated anyone since I’ve known you, so I thought it might be a possibility.”
Of course, he’d wondered. Everyone probably wondered. Poor, boring, undesirable Kelly. “I haven’t dated anyone—ever really. But I did have sex before.”
“How did that happen?” He sounded like he really wanted to know.
There was no reason not to tell him. She’d told him almost everything else. “I was sixteen. He was part of the group of friends I hung out with in high school. We never really dated, but we started hanging out alone more. And then we…we just had sex.”
“You don’t sound like it was something you wanted.”
She heard the caution in his tone, and she straightened up immediately. “It wasn’t like that. Nothing like that. I did want to do it. I mean, I thought I did. We had sex four times, and every time I was a willing participant. It just…it just wasn’t very good.”
“Well, you both were sixteen. What did you expect?”
She gave a soft chuckle. “I know. I just thought it would be…be different. But it was always over before I could really process it. We’d be playing video games or something, and then he’d start kissing me, and then before I knew it, my pants were off and it was happening and then it was over. And afterwards I would always get this sick feeling, like I wished I hadn’t done it.”
“Why did you?”
“I…I don’t know. I liked him, and I thought it was something I wanted to do. After the fourth time, when I still had that sick feeling afterwards, I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him again.”
“And let me guess,” Peter said dryly. “He stopped hanging out with you.”
“Yeah.”
“Asshole.”
She laughed again. “Anyway, pretty soon I had too much else to worry about, with my grandmother and our depleted finances. And I always had to make sure she didn’t think I was appropriate marriage-material, so I never put myself out there at all. So that’s been my whole experience with sex. Pretty exciting, huh?”
“You were sixteen. I don’t think most teenagers are having sex much more exciting than you had.”
“You don’t think?” She gave him a teasing look, feeling better now that she’d told him, like it wasn’t really something to be embarrassed about. This was Peter, after all. “I suppose you were some sort of stud having mind-blowing sex at sixteen?”
He gave a huff of amusement. “Uh, no.”
“So you had boring sex that was over before it started too when you were sixteen?”
“Something like that.”
There was an uncharacteristic reticence in his expression that made her immediately curious. “Peter? What kind of sex were you having at sixteen?”
With a sheepish smile, he admitted, “I wasn’t having any sort of sex. I didn’t have sex until I was seventeen.”
“Really?”
“Why are you surprised?”
“I don’t know. You’re just so good-looking and…and amazing, I assumed you’d started early.”
Pleased surprise washed over his expression, and he reached out to pull her against him in a one-armed hug. “Thank you. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
She felt good—and a little embarrassed—but she stayed cuddled up against him. “So who was the first girl you had sex with?”
“My prom date.”
Ridiculously, a little sliver of jealousy jolted through her. “Was she the first one you wanted to have sex with?”
“Of course not.”
“So why didn’t you start earlier?”
“I don’t know. I was a kid. I wasn’t all that confident around girls.”
“Really? I thought you’d be a stud.”
His arm tightened around her, and he nuzzled her hair very lightly. “I’ve never been a stud.”
“Oh. I thought you were.”
“Thanks.”
They didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, and the only sound that broke the silence was the babbling of the television, which she’d left on a repeat episode of a crime drama.
She wondered what Peter was thinking, whether he felt as close to her as she felt to him, whether he wanted to have her this close to him, whether he wanted to be even closer.
His arm around her felt like more than just a friendly thing. Maybe it was. Maybe his feelings were changing, just like hers were.
“Peter?”
“Yes.” The one word was hoarser than it should have been.
She was about to ask him what he was thinking when a flare of fear held her tongue. What if she was wrong? What if she humiliated herself? What if their friendship wouldn’t survive her making a move on him?
“What was it, Kelly?”
She let out a long breath. “Nothing really.”
“Tell me what you wanted to know.”
Put on the spot and suddenly terrified by the idea of everything changing with Peter, she fumbled through her mind for an appropriate question. “I was just wondering what happened between us that night in Vegas.”
There. That had been a good cover. It was right in line with their conversation earlier, but it wasn’t nearly so revealing, so vulnerable, as what she’d actually been wanting to ask.
“Oh.” He shifted against the headboard, although his arm was still around her.
“I mean, I know we got married, but what happened between us in bed? You said we didn’t have sex.”
“We didn’t.”
“But something happened, didn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
When she glanced up at his face, she saw he was avoiding her gaze, which was unusual enough to pique her curiosity. “Peter? Did something bad happen?”
“No, no. Nothing really bad. Just…just embarrassing.”
Her cheeks burned slightly at the idea of how uninhibited and foolish she must have been. “I know I probably made an idiot of myself. I was totally drunk. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me.”
“Oh, no. I didn’t mean it was embarrassing for you. For me, I meant.”
“What could you have done that was so embarrassing?” Her eyes were wide as she pulled away from him enough to turn her upper body and face him.
“The obvious thing.” He was meeting her eyes now, only occasionally glancing away. “We…we started to consummate our marriage. You were touching me and then it was…it was over before we got anywhere.”
She suddenly realized what must have happened, a wave of heat and excitement washing over her as she visualized it. She desperately wished she could remember what it had felt like to touch him that way. “Well, you were drunk too. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
He gave a dry chuckle. “It’s definitely something to be embarrassed about—although it’s just as well it happened. I would have felt terrible if we’d actually had sex while you were too drunk to say no.”
He was serious about that. She could see it on his face. And her head, her heart, her body were all roaring with how much she wanted him. She couldn’t seem to hold back anymore.
She reached over and brushed a loose piece of hair off his forehead. “What makes you think I would have said no?”
He blinked, his body suddenly going very still. “Wouldn’t you?”
She shook her head, throwing caution and wisdom and all good sense to the wind. “I don’t know about then. But…but I wouldn’t say no now.”
He made a little noise in his throat, still holding himself perfectly still. “You mean you’d want to…”
He looked so surprised that she was immediately terrified she’d made a fool of herself after all. “I totally understand if you don’t want to—”
“Don’t want to?” His voice was no more than a rasp. “You think I don’t want to?” Finally, he moved, reaching out to take her hand and move it down under the covers to his lap.
She gasped as she felt that he was hard beneath his pants. Hard. Aroused. For her.
His eyes closed as she moved her hand against the length of him. And when he opened them again, his gaze was hot and intense and almost wild. He took her face in both of his hands. “Kelly,” he murmured, just before he kissed her.
He pushed her backward with the force of his kiss, and soon she was on her back, with Peter on top of her, kissing her deeply, hungrily, desperately.
She was responding in kind, wrapping her arms around his neck and rocking her body up into his. She could barely see, barely think. She couldn’t do anything but feel. And she was feeling so much—pleasure, excitement, joy, surprise—there was no way to process it.
But this was exactly what she wanted to do, and by some sort of miracle, Peter wanted it too.
He kissed her until her head spun, and then his hands started to roam over her body until she was almost dizzy from the sensations. He pulled her camisole up over her head, and his eyes went even hotter as he stared down at her naked body.
“Peter,” she said, arching up slightly, her body out of control, even while a wave of self-consciousness overtook her.
“God, Kelly, you’re…you’re…so…” He cupped one of her breasts, and then he tweaked the nipple between his fingers.
She cried out in response, wondering if anything had ever felt so good. But she managed to ask, “I’m so what?”
He met her eyes. “You’re so…everything I want.”
He couldn’t have said anything else that would have thrilled her more. She pulled his head down into another kiss.
When he finally pulled away from her mouth, he trailed kisses down her neck until he’d reached her naked breasts. He gave them each attention—more eager than skillful—but his ministrations were so effective that soon she couldn’t stay quiet. She writhed and moaned and scratched his back with her nails until he finally raised his head and smiled down at her.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked, able to focus again at the break in sensations.
“Why wouldn’t I be smiling?”
“Well, you don’t have look smug about it.”
“Do I look smug?”
“Definitely.”
“I’ll try to work on my expression then.” He was still smiling—soft and fond—as he leaned down to kiss her again.
She sank into the feeling of how much he seemed to want her, how much he seemed to care about her, how much he seemed to want to be with her this way.
When his mouth moved down to her breasts again and flicked her tight nipple with his tongue, she cried out loudly at the jolt of pleasure.
“Peter, I’m dying here,” she gasped, sliding her hands down to clutch at his ass, feeling him through the fabric of his pants. “I’m not used to this.”
He lifted his head immediately and appeared to check her expression. Then he relaxed into a smile. “What aren’t you used to?”
“Being tortured like this.”
“I want to make sure it’s better than your teenaged sex.”
It was so sweet that he meant it, that he was serious about making this good for her.
“It’s already light-years better than that. If you don’t make me come soon, I’m going to scream.”
“Is that a promise?”
She started to respond, but he lowered his mouth to her breast again, suckling until she was rocking wildly beneath him and babbling out all kinds of helpless sounds.
Then she felt his hand beneath the waistband of her pajamas, sliding under her panties, touching her where she was so hot and wet and needy.
She almost choked as he slid a finger and then two inside her, her vision blurring as she clutched at his hair.
He teased and mouthed one breast as he pumped his fingers, and it didn’t take long until her body was shaking helplessly as an orgasm broke over her.
The power of it shocked her, and she was breathless, wordless, as her body finally started to relax. Peter had lifted his head so he could watch her, but she was too overwhelmed to pull herself together, even knowing he was witnessing how hard she’d come for him.
He was stroking her face, his eyes resting on her possessively, when she finally found her voice again. “Give me a minute,” she gasped. “And then you’ll get a turn too.”
He smiled and straightened up. “Take your time. I better get a condom anyway, since I assume you’re not on birth control.”
“I’m not.”
He stood up, and she was able to focus enough to feel a little thrill at how obviously aroused he was. The outline of his erection was clearly visible beneath his pajama pants, and he moved awkwardly as he walked over to his suitcase.
“You brought condoms?” she asked, when he returned to the bed with a few packets in his hand.
He reached for the remote so he could turn off the television. “Of course. It’s our honeymoon.”
She chuckled, reaching out for him. “Good thinking.”
He moved into her arms, kissing her deeply, with that same intense passion, until she was excited again, running her hands over him eagerly.
In a clumsy rush, they took off the rest of their clothes, and she reached for his erection excitedly. He groaned as she caressed him, and she would have continued if he hadn’t suddenly rolled over on top of her.
“Hey!” she gasped.
“Sorry. But we’re not going to have that same ending this time, and if you did that anymore, I was going to lose it.”
She smiled, delighted by the idea of his being so into her that he would lose it, just from the way she’d been caressing him. “Okay. Then let’s go for a different ending this time.”
He was smiling back at her as he reached for a condom, opening the packet and rolling it on. And he was still smiling at her as he positioned himself between her legs and nudged her thighs apart to make room for him.
Then he was slowly entering her, and it was so full, so tight, that she lost her breath. It was actually uncomfortable at first, but she fought to relax her body, overwhelmed by the tension on Peter’s face that clearly showed how much he liked the feel of being inside her.
“You okay?” he asked hoarsely, when he was able to open his eyes.
“Yeah.” She shifted, realizing that the discomfort was gone and the sensation of him inside her was deep and full and good. “Really good.”
“Good.”
He leaned down to kiss her gently before he started to move. His rhythm was slow and steady at first, allowing her to rock her hips and figure out how to meet his motion. But it wasn’t long before he was starting to pant and accelerate his speed.
She wrapped her arms around him and hung on as he took her faster, obviously losing himself in the sensations. His eyes never left hers, and she couldn’t possibly doubt how much he wanted this.
How much he wanted her.
It was a heady feeling, almost as heady as the feel of him moving inside her.
They rocked together eagerly until the bed was shaking slightly and both of them were panting loudly. It all felt incredible, and she couldn’t hold back a few moans of pure pleasure as his rhythm intensified. The tension in his body was so tight it was shuddering through his muscles, and she could see the exact moment when he finally lost control.
It was like nothing she’d ever experienced, the sight, the feel of his climax, the way the waves of release washed over him, making him freeze and then moan.
When his body finally relaxed, he bent his elbows to lower himself over her. She held him tightly as he pressed clumsy kisses against her skin.
She couldn’t believe she’d just done this with Peter. She couldn’t believe how completely both of them had lost control.
And she couldn’t believe how much she wanted to do it again.
She always wanted to be this close to him.
When he finally picked himself up to take care of the condom, he was watching her closely.
She smiled at him. “That was way better than teenage sex,” she said, pleased that her voice was almost light.
&nbs
p; He grinned back at her. “That was way better than any sex I’ve ever had.”
It was the truth. She could see it in his face. “Maybe that’s because you’ve never been on a honeymoon before.”
***
Peter had to take a minute in the bathroom to pull himself together.
He’d managed not to lose it physically, but his emotions were completely out of control.
This was exactly what he’d wanted, but he still couldn’t really believe it was happening. And underlying the surge of joy and pleasure was a little sliver of fear—that this could all be taken away, that she might change her mind, that it didn’t mean to her what it meant to him.
She wanted to have sex with him tonight, but that didn’t mean she would always want it.
And it didn’t mean she was in love with him.
So he splashed water on his face and breathed deeply until he felt like he could think reasonably again. Then he went back into the bedroom.
Kelly was still lying under the covers. She smiled at him from the pillow, her hair in a messy tumble around her face and shoulders.
At least she was smiling. At least she hadn’t immediately pulled back.
“So what do you think?” he asked softly, going over to sit down on the bed beside her.
“About what?” She must be feeling a little nervous, since her expression was hesitant beneath her smile.
“You know what.”
“I’m not sure…I’m not sure how that even happened.”
He couldn’t just burst out how helplessly he was in love with her. She wasn’t ready to hear it. She would get scared and pull away from him. He had to be so careful. “I think it was probably natural. We’ve always been close, and now we’re married.”
“But I didn’t think you were even attracted to me.”
“Well, that’s crazy. Of course, I’m attracted to you.”
She blushed slightly. “I didn’t know that.”
“I know you didn’t. I didn’t want it to complicate our friendship.”
“But this is going to complicate it, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t have to.”
Her smile faded. “So this was just a one-time thing that didn’t mean anything?”