Finding Love the Hard Way

by Vickery, Rebecca J.

  "But I need my money now. Is there anything else I can do? That man stole the money I earned, money I need for my kids."

  "I understand, ma'am, and I'm sure sorry... We'll do all we can. It's gonna take time... But...well, I got to be honest – chances of getting any money are pretty slim. He may do some time for it, but I doubt you'll ever see a dime."

  Noelle stood and nodded at the deputy, indicating she understood. She gave a sad little smile as she passed the Christmas tree in the hallway on her way out. No merry Christmas for her, or her kids. With sagging shoulders and a troubled heart, she left the station. How on earth was she going to manage with two kids, no job, dwindling funds, and no prospect of any help?

  The car started easily, for a change, and she drove cautiously up and down side streets, looking for help wanted signs, seeking an idea of what to do, and remembering.

  * * * * *

  Ken was never the best husband in the world, but he did provide for them, until he died. He always assumed a let's not worry about tomorrow attitude and never understood the need to have a plan for his family's future. Whenever she brought up topics such as adding to their limited amount of life insurance, including death insurance on the mortgage, or saving for a rainy day, his answer was the same – he had all he could deal with right then. We'll take care of all that later, Hon, he would say.

  Thinking back, as she waited for a traffic light to change, Noelle didn't remember him smiling very much, particularly after the children were born. Then, like most married couples with a family, they bought a house. She couldn't help wondering if the accident, which claimed his life, truly was an accident or his way of escaping stress and pressure he could no longer handle.

  In the same week, Ken received refusals on two important projects he was counting on to keep them going financially. His new computer programming business had not caught on in the area as he thought it would, and he wasn't gaining any new clients. To top it all off, they argued endlessly over the bills, and especially when she bought things for the children. Things he said weren't necessary, but she knew growing kids must have. He had even sulked over what she spent buying Christmas presents the previous year.

  A honk from behind the car roused her from her memories. She drove forward and continued down the next street. If he had just told her straight out they were having financial troubles... But he kept insisting everything was fine. She would have found a job and cut down on spending. They could have sold the house before the market got so bad.

  Instead, a year ago, a few weeks before Christmas, two Pickens County deputies knocked on her door after midnight and one of them broke the news. Her husband's car plunged off a bridge abutment in a one-car accident. The deputy explained Ken had been drinking, probably fell asleep at the wheel, or misjudged and drove to the wrong side of the bridge support. He didn't survive.

  Noelle pulled over into a parking space and got out to walk. The sun was shining and the temperature climbed into the mid-forties. The ice left quicker than it came – one good thing about southern ice storms.

  She needed to clear her head and get some exercise before picking up the kids. They only had a short time left in school before Christmas break. Oh, Lord... Christmas. This one isn't going to be much better than the last. At least, they can't lose their father again. And if I find a job, what will I do with the kids while I work?

  Walking slowly, Noelle couldn't stop the thoughts flooding her mind. Nothing had been the same since the night Ken died. The money from the auto insurance went to pay off the totaled car and the small balance owed on hers. The little bit of life insurance Ken had kept barely paid the funeral expenses. Even though she found a job and started working right away, she couldn't make the house payments. She offered it for sale, but there were no buyers in a depressed market, even when she cut the price to what was actually owed on the mortgage. Six months ago, she and the kids lost the house when the lender foreclosed.

  They had no other family to speak of, which made her wonder if that was one of the things which drew Ken and her to each other in the beginning. The simple need for human companionship, and to belong to someone, created an immediate bond between them. Their love had grown as they dated, but the mad passion she'd often read about was missing. Instead, it had been a comfortable relationship based on caring and mutual respect.

  Noelle stopped, realizing she stood in front of a small diner at the end of the street. The smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing drew her inside and she took a seat at the counter. It only took a minute to have a steaming hot cup in front of her. Savoring the aroma, Noelle added cream and sugar, a luxury she couldn't afford at home.

  "Honey, you look like you want to dive into that cup," the elderly, gum-smacking waitress with light blue-gray hair remarked. "You want to order something to go with that? The apple pie's pretty good."

  "No thanks, the coffee's fine." Noelle gave her a half smile and returned to stirring her coffee. The waitress slapped her bill on the counter and turned to leave.

  "Wait, please. You wouldn't know of a job available around here, would you?"

  "What kind of job you looking for?" The waitress blew a bubble, let it pop, and sucked the gum back into her mouth. Kenny would have been impressed.

  "Charlotte, I done told you 'bout that gum," a man's deep voice called from the pass-through window into the kitchen.

  "Yeah, yeah. Don't get your drawers in a wad, Ed," Charlotte called back. The few customers in the place laughed and continued eating. "Now honey, what kind of job you looking for?" She returned her attention to Noelle.

  "It doesn't matter... I can learn almost anything... I'm not afraid of hard work. Please, I've got two kids..."

  "I don't know of nothing right now, but I'll keep my ears open. Check back with me every few days and I'll see what I can come up with. By the way, I'm Charlotte Burris." She swiped her hand on her apron, and then stuck it out. "My husband Ed, back there, and I have owned this eating establishment going on twenty years."

  "Noelle Welborn," she answered with a smile and shook the woman's hand. "Do you know of a cheap rooming house around close?"

  "No, honey... Noelle, you said? Well, ain't that Christmassy? Only rooming house left around here is full of old men with nowhere else to go. There's a dump of a motel out on Highway 76, but I'd only take it as a last resort, if you know what I mean – not quite suitable for kids. Hmm... A couple of bed 'n breakfast places, but they'd be expensive – touristy places, you know." Charlotte winked at Noelle before grabbing up the coffee pot and getting back to work.

  A little later, as Noelle paid for her coffee, Charlotte reminded her to check back in a couple of days. Noelle agreed and wandered back to her car. It was almost time to go to the school.

  Very conscious of her financial state, Noelle stopped at the cut-rate station and put in a half-tank of fuel. If she was careful, the money from selling her wedding band would last a while for food and gas, but no way could she pay for a motel room too. Shaking her head, Noelle already regretted the dollar she spent for her coffee and the quarter she left as a tip.

  Chapter Four

  Loading boxes into the back of their station wagon on Friday morning, Noelle still wasn't sure where she and the kids would spend the night. She had already checked the three shelters in town; they were full and it wasn't even noon. Just in case, she piled their blankets and pillows into the back seat instead of boxing them.

  Mr. Rossi failed to be sympathetic when she approached him earlier to ask for another week. He threatened to get a deputy if she didn't either pay up or clear out.

  Noelle packed their personal belongings and the few nonperishable food items from the cabinet. Placing the kids' favorite toys in a small box, she set them on the back floorboard for easy access. Maybe it would help Rachael and Kenny to know their things were close.

  By noon, she and her children were homeless. Biting her lip while fighting back tears, Noelle drove away from the old building. A wreck of a place, i
t had at least provided a roof over their heads and a place to sleep and eat. Now, they didn't even have that.

  Driving aimlessly, Noelle realized she was in front of the diner where she met gum-popping Charlotte a few days before. I know it won't do any good, but I might as well go in and ask if she heard anything about a job. The diner was busy with Friday shoppers, Noelle saw, as she slid onto a stool at the counter.

  "Be with you in a minute, Hon," Charlotte called out, bustling from table to table, refilling drinks from the water and tea pitchers she carried.

  "Take your time, I'm fine," Noelle told her with a little wave. She watched in awe as Charlotte took money at the register, carried food-laden plates to a table, cleaned another table, and took an order almost without stopping. Her movements told of years of practice and experience. At that moment, Noelle envied Charlotte her sureness of her role in life and her security.

  "Coffee?" Charlotte was putting a cup on the counter as she asked.

  "I can't today, but... Could I have a glass of water, please?"

  "Sure thing, Noelle...was it? Took this old mind a minute, but I remembered." The waitress smiled at her.

  Noelle smiled back and nodded. "And you're Charlotte. Did... Did you hear anything about a job I could...?"

  "Sorry, ain't no jobs to be had around here right now... But I'm keeping my ears open for you. Never thought I'd see things this bad around here, again. After we got over the textile mills shutting down, we thought things were picking up, 'til lately." Charlotte placed a glass of ice water with a slice of lemon on the rim in front of Noelle and moved away to take care of another customer.

  Noelle sipped from her glass and watched people come and go for a while. She and Charlotte chatted whenever the waitress had a minute. Noelle showed her pictures of Kenny and Rachael, and then Charlotte pulled out pictures of four grandchildren. They moved to California for their father's work and Charlotte missed them. There was something nice in sharing a normal conversation with another adult.

  "Tell you what, Noelle. Things is gonna be busy here tomorrow. Ed's making his special barbeque and that means piles of dishes from noon 'til closing. Why don't you bring the kids by near noon tomorrow? Ed and I'll feed all of you and give you a few dollars if you want to wash dishes so they don't pile up. All I can offer you right now, Hon."

  "I'll... I'll take it, but only if you really need the help. I mean..." Noelle's voice trailed off. She didn't know quite what to say.

  "I know exactly what you mean. And I definitely can use the help." She leaned a little closer and whispered, "Ed won't admit it, but he can use the help too. Me and him are getting a little long in the tooth, in case you hadn't noticed." Charlotte winked and blew one of her big bubbles, letting it burst with a loud pop.

  "Charlotte! Quit that," Ed roared from the kitchen.

  Noelle couldn't help laughing along with most of the other customers. "I'll...no, we'll be here by noon tomorrow... And thanks, Charlotte."

  * * * * *

  Slipping into the seat of her car, Noelle sat looking at the faded, but clean, exterior of the diner in front of her. Well, that's food and a few dollars I don't have to worry about. Every little bit helps.

  The temperature wasn't supposed to get any lower than the mid-forties during the night according to the weather report on the car radio. It will be cold, but huddled together under the blankets and with pillows piled around, we should do okay, Noelle thought, as she made the decision for them to spend their first night without an apartment in the car. The next question was a safe place to park so she wouldn't have to stay awake and watch over them. If she were going to stand up and wash dishes, she'd need the rest. Keeping an eye out for a good location, she headed for the school to pick up the kids.

  Down a side street was a large church parking lot with rows of street lights, which she thought looked like a good prospect. Closer to the school was a small office complex with a large parking area at one end. But as she neared, she saw No Loitering signs tacked on light posts and crossed the office parking lot off her mental list.

  As Kenny and Rachael pushed stuff aside and clambered into the back seat, Noelle even considered the school as a possible overnight parking spot.

  "We got kicked out, didn't we, Mom?" Rachael asked, once she was buckled in.

  "I'm afraid so, Rachael. But we've always wanted to camp out, so tonight we're going to...sort of." Noelle tried to make it sound like an adventure. "There are peanut butter sandwiches in a bag back there for your snack and some juice in my thermos. You'll have to share."

  "Where are we gonna camp? Are we gonna build a fire? And sleep in a tent? Can I pee in the woods?" Kenny bounced on the seat in excitement.

  Noelle couldn't help but laugh at his exuberance. "For tonight, we'll have to sleep in the car. We don't have a tent, you know. And I don't think so, about the fire. The police probably wouldn't want us to do that. But you might get to potty behind a tree," she told him. That brought up an interesting problem. What were they supposed to do about bathroom visits? And washing up? How did the homeless people manage?

  "Awww, Mom. That's not real camping..." Kenny complained before stuffing his mouth with peanut butter covered bread.

  * * * * *

  Noelle let the kids play in the park until dark. Thankfully, they would not have to get up for school in the morning. She stopped at the local market and they all trooped to the restrooms. She gave the kids explicit instructions about washing up while they were there. Then she purchased a large, marked down, submarine sandwich and a quart of milk for their supper. They sat at one of the tables in the deli and ate, passing the milk around. The lady at the deli-counter gave Rachael and Kenny a cookie each before they left.

  The streets were fairly busy with cars as Noelle drove to the church parking lot. She found a spot beneath a street lamp at one end of the property where they would be out of the way, and hopefully, unnoticed. Noelle made a bed for her children in the back seat and tucked them in.

  When they protested going to bed so early, she told them, "We're not going to sleep. We're going to keep warm and have story-time. Each of us will tell a story until we get tired. I'll go first." After locking the car doors, Noelle settled in the front seat while telling them about the diner, Charlotte, and Ed. Before too many stories were told, the kids drifted off to sleep.

  Noelle smiled at the sight of them and snuggled into her blanket. The last thing she saw before nodding off was the cross, backlit from a floodlight, way up high on top of the church steeple.

  "Lord," she whispered, "I'm trusting in You to take care of us." She was filled with a moment's inner warmth, even while sitting in an old car, homeless and alone, except for her two precious children.

  Chapter Five

  An odd tapping noise woke her from a sound sleep. Noelle jerked up and turned in her seat to see a Pickens City policeman standing by the car. Something familiar about him tugged at her memory as she blinked and opened her door. Quickly, and as quietly as possible, she slid out and closed the door to keep the cold air off Kenny and Rachael.

  "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't park here overnight. It's against City Ordinances."

  Definitely, the same voice... She recognized the green and yellow scarf loosely hanging around his neck. Noelle decided to be brutally honest. She stared up toward the eyes deeply shadowed by the brim of his cap.

  "You told me something similar last week, during the ice storm," she sighed. Crossing her arms defensively across her waist, she confessed, "We have nowhere else to go. I thought this would be the safest place to park, for my children. This is our home now, as of noon today." She waved her hand toward the large station wagon as moisture gathered in her eyes.

  The policeman shifted his shoulders and looked uncomfortable. "How old are your kids?"

  "Rachael's seven, Kenny's five. They're good kids. They don't deserve any of this. Please, if you let us stay here tonight, I'll do something different tomorrow, I promise. And...do you work all the
time?"

  He allowed a small smile to crease his stern face. "No, ma'am, not all the time. I can't let you stay here, but if you'll follow me, I have a spot in mind where you'll be safe and no one will run you off."

  "Oh no, you're not taking us to jail, are you?" Noelle stood straighter and wrung her hands in front of her. That was all she needed, and Social Services would probably take her children.

  * * * * *

  He felt sure she didn't know what a pretty picture she made, standing under the street lamp, worried for her children. He wished his ex had cared just one-tenth as much about kids. They might have made it work. "No ma'am, not jail," he reassured her. "I was going to let you park at my house for the rest of the night. I can't leave you out here on the street and the shelters are full because of this cold weather."

  "I... I don't know what to say. I appreciate the offer, but I don't know you. You... You don't know me either."

  "My name's Nick Stewart. I live over on Deer Hill. You can pull in the driveway near the house and stay the night. I won't be home 'til seven in the morning. You can leave whenever you're ready. I either have to take you there or take you down to the office, your choice."

  "Noelle Welborn. Won't your wife be upset? I mean...with strange people parked in her yard?" Noelle held out her hand politely as she introduced herself.

  Nick took her cold, slim fingers in his. He knew of this woman. He'd been one of the first highway patrolmen on the scene when her husband drove his car off the bridge. He and two other responders made a pact to keep the suicide from the family until after Christmas. Then he had gone by a few days after New Years to tell her the truth, saw the two kids playing in the yard, and couldn't go through with it. Knowing their husband and father most likely killed himself wouldn't make their lives any better. The other two men thought he took care of it and he never told them any different. Then he'd transferred to the Pickens City force during state cutbacks a few months before and never thought anymore about it, until now.