Styxx (DH #33)

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Styxx clenched his teeth at his options. “What’s my third choice?”

  “There’s not one, and if you try to kill yourself … let’s just say, don’t.” Apollo kissed the back of his head and cupped him. “So what’s your decision, little prince? And don’t forget, either way, I win.”

  September 9, 9530 BC

  Unlike his men, Styxx felt no joy whatsoever as he rode through the palace gates and neared the steps where his “family” waited to welcome him home. Honestly, he hadn’t missed anything about this place.

  How sad, he’d rather be in battle than face his father, mother, and sister.

  Reining his horse, he braced himself for the pain to come then dismounted slowly. While most of his wounds had healed, some of the deeper ones remained, and all caused him misery as he made his way up the stairs to greet his king.

  His father embraced him. “Welcome home.”

  Styxx inclined his head before he saw Ryssa standing behind their father.

  “Brother.” She curtsied to him.

  Amazed he didn’t have frostbite from her tone and glare, he gave her a curt bow. “Sister.”

  His father clapped him on the back right where he’d been stabbed then headed for the palace doors.

  Unable to catch his breath, Styxx froze as sheer agony tore through him. For a full minute, it stung so badly he saw stars from it. Worse, he could feel fresh, warm blood seeping down his spine.

  Unaware he’d reopened a wound, his father didn’t know Styxx wasn’t with him until he reached the doors. He turned back with a deep scowl.

  His breathing labored, Styxx forced himself to continue onward. Sweat broke out on his forehead as his gaze dimmed and he feared he’d pass out on the stairs.

  His father ran his gaze over the dispersing army. “Your returning numbers aren’t as great as I’d hoped.”

  Styxx cut a glower at his father, but said nothing as he entered the palace. “Where’s Mother?”

  “I exiled her, and she killed herself last spring.”

  Gaping at the emotionless disclosure, Styxx turned to his father. “And you didn’t send word to me?”

  “To what purpose? She was dead. There was nothing you could do.”

  He didn’t know why, but grief racked him hard. Harder than he would have thought possible given their tumultuous relationship. Still, Aara had been his mother, and it saddened him that she was gone. He met Ryssa’s aloof stare, but he knew that was a front. She and their mother had been close and the death had to sting her deeply.

  “My deepest condolences, Ryssa.”

  “Don’t spit on her memory with your insincerity. It’s not becoming of the great war hero who got half his army slaughtered on his return.”

  “Ryssa!”

  She blinked innocently at their father. “What? Your own advisors are the ones who’ve been calling him incompetent and saying that you should never have trusted your army to him.”

  And his men had actually feared his father would whip them for allowing him to be attacked.…

  Styxx let out a bitter laugh. “It warms the cockles of my heart to be cradled against the loving bosom of my adoring family. Thank the gods I survived to return to such affection.” He headed for the stairs.

  “Where are you going?” his father snapped. “I have a welcome party full of noblemen for you in the banquet hall.”

  Styxx glanced to where he’d been standing a second ago. His blood had made a small red puddle on the floor, marking the spot. He wiped at the sweat on his brow as his vision dimmed more. “Please forgive me for my insult to you and to them, Majesty. But I would rather bleed alone and not listen to how I failed Didymos and disappointed my king when I was the only Greek commander who won any fucking battles against the Atlanteans whatsoever … and I did it on their home soil without Greek resources or reinforcements for battle.”

  Ryssa gasped. “If I spoke to you like that, Father, you’d have me whipped.”

  Styxx laughed bitterly as he continued up the stairs, leaving a trail of bloody footprints in his wake. “Please, sweet sister, name me one time in your entire spoiled bitch life that anyone laid a hand to you?”

  “You have!”

  “Years and years ago, when I was half your size. And I paid for it dearly.” He turned at the top of the stairs to face them. “Now excuse me, beloved family, but I need to lie down before I pass out, and mourn a mother whose contempt of me is only surpassed by her bitch daughter’s.”

  What has happened to you, boy?

  He snorted derisively at his father’s shocked thought. How pathetic that his father didn’t know and didn’t really care to learn.

  Aching inside and out, Styxx went to his room and pulled a pillow from the bed. He’d been sleeping on the ground for so long that he wasn’t sure what a bed would feel like anymore.

  Without bothering to remove his armor, he sank to the floor and stretched out to rest.

  Ah, beautiful home. How much he loathed it.

  September 13, 9530 BC

  Bethany toyed with the ring on her finger as she waited, yet another day, for a visit she was certain would never come again. Her Hector was dead. She knew it.

  If not from their war then from his homecoming slaughter that had all but destroyed Prince Styxx’s Stygian Omada. While her family had laughed and rejoiced over the treachery of the Greek dogs, the news had struck her like a blow.

  Hector had to be dead or he’d have come to her by now.

  Sick to her stomach and saddened more than she’d ever been, she started to rise then felt a sudden presence near her. “Who goes there?”

  For several heartbeats, she heard nothing.

  Then a deep, low whisper answered her. “A weary soldier who is fearful that he’s been forgotten or replaced.”

  Tears filled her eyes and choked her. “My Hector has not been forgotten and he could never be replaced.”

  Only then did he kneel by her side and pull her against him. He was much leaner than he’d been, but also much more ripped. His muscles were even larger and harder than before. She cradled his head in her hands as he rocked her in his arms. While his hair was shorter than it’d been when he left her, he now had a full beard.

  “I lived only for the chance that I could come back and hold you again.”

  Hot tears flowed down her cheeks. “I hate you for the pain you’ve caused me in your absence. You beast! The fear that you were dead and burned…”

  He sucked his breath in sharply as she touched his back.

  “Hector?”

  “I’ve returned, but not in one whole piece.” He pulled away and carefully sat down on the ground by her side.

  “What happened? Why did you remove my amulet?”

  “Once we reached Greece, I foolishly took it off to toy with it. I had no idea we were about to be attacked by our own allies. But have no fear…” He placed her hand over his wrist to show her that it was back in place.

  “You were hurt?”

  “I certainly didn’t stab my own back. Though, given my superior incompetence, I’m surprised I haven’t found a way to do so.”

  She kissed his cheek. “Is it just your back?”

  “Sadly, no. I took twenty-and-four stabs to my back, hand, side, and front, and one to my left cheek, just to make sure I was good and humiliated.”

  She touched his face.

  “Not that cheek, my sweet. That one wouldn’t have bothered me so.”

  In spite of the seriousness, she laughed. That explained the peculiar way he was sitting, but … “You are not funny.… Can I do anything to comfort you?”

  He pulled her hand to his lips and inhaled her skin before he nibbled her fingers then he stretched out on his side … with his left cheek up. “You comforted me the moment I saw you here. I swear you’ve grown even more beautiful in my absence.”

  She lay down, facing him. “I’m scared to touch you for fear of causing you pain.”

  He placed her hand over his heart and
held it there so that she could feel the rapid beat through his chiton. “Even if you hurt me, I’ll enjoy it.”

  “You’re so masochistic.”

  “I am indeed.” Sighing, he laid his head down on his arm next to her head then moved her hand to his bearded cheek so that she could feel the expressions on his face. “What pains me most is that after all these long, arduous months, I can’t make love to you like I’ve dreamed of doing every single night.”

  She moved her hand to toy with his curls that wrapped around her fingers. His hair was shorter than when he’d left, but it was still long enough to tease her. “Has anyone ever told you that your voice is very similar to Prince Styxx’s?”

  “And when did you hear his voice, my lady?”

  “Several times when he’s been in public. But you’re nothing like him.”

  “How are we so different?”

  She kissed his nose. “You are sweet and precious. And there isn’t an arrogant bone in all of your body.”

  “Perhaps the prince isn’t as bad as you assume.”

  She arched a brow at that. “You defend him?”

  “I’ve suffered and bled for him these many months past. I’d have to be a royal bastard to not defend him now.”

  She made a face at him. “Let’s not bicker over my opinion of your worthless prince. You’re the only man I want to think about right now.” She kissed him lightly on the lips. “I’ve missed you so.”

  Styxx closed his eyes as she licked and teased his neck. This alone had been worth coming back for.

  But even as that thought brought a smile to his lips, fear made his stomach ache. He’d heard the same contempt in her voice when she spoke of the prince as his family had for him. How would she react if she learned who he really was?

  Never mind the fact that for almost three years now, he’d lied to her.

  She would hate you as much as everyone else. Worse, she’d never forgive him. She’d think that he’d mocked her and, like Ryssa, accuse him of horrible things he’d never thought or done or intended. And if she ever learned of the wretched, degrading bargain Apollo had forced on him …

  He wanted to vomit as fear and hatred mingled inside his heart.

  Why can’t I find someone who can accept all of me? The only one who did was Galen. Only he saw Styxx’s heart and understood his real intentions and actions.

  “Why are you so sad? Did I say something wrong?”

  “No.” It was both a lie and the truth. He didn’t want her to censor her words around him. Not even when they kicked him in the crotch and left him bleeding. “I’m not quite the boy who left you, Beth. I fear war has changed me.”

  “How so?”

  “In ways that are hard to define. I spent almost two years ankle-deep in blood and body parts. I’ve held the hands of old men and young boys as they took their last breaths. I’ve seen boys who were far too young, who weren’t even old enough to shave yet, cut down and taken by illnesses we couldn’t treat. We burned our dead, day and night, until the stench of it is permanently lodged in my throat and nose. There were days when the fighting was so thick that enemy arrows and spears blocked out the sun from us.”

  Bethany’s heart clenched at the pain she heard in his voice. She knew each of the battles he spoke of, and the horrors. But this was the first time she’d seen them through the eyes of the men who actually fought them. Men who didn’t know if they’d live through it or lose a part of their body.

  Never before had she understood the fear of the families left behind and how hard it was to wait for a loved one they might never see again. Tears welled in her eyes as she wished she could take those memories from him. “How did you stand it?”

  “I would think of you. Knowing you were here, depending on me to come back … that you would cry if I didn’t … I’m not sure I would have made it through some of the battles had you not been in my heart.” He rubbed her hand against the line of his jaw. “I definitely wouldn’t have ridden home so fast.”

  She smiled at his humor then kissed him. “I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

  “Hopefully you won’t. I’ve heard that the city-states have joined together for another truce that should last.”

  Bethany’s stomach shrank at his words. She knew just how temporary the truce would be. “Promise me, if something happens and we have to go to war again, you won’t fight.”

  “I can’t do that, Beth.”

  “Why not?”

  Styxx clenched his teeth as he sought a reason he could give her that wouldn’t reveal his true identity. “How can I stay at home knowing that men who have fought by my side and protected me, men I have bled to protect, are going to die? As hard as it is to live with the memories of war, I would never be able to face myself as a coward.”

  She didn’t take his words well, but neither did she speak against them.

  Leaning forward, Styxx nibbled her lips, reveling in the taste he’d missed more than any other. “I’m tired of speaking and thinking about war. Tell me how you’ve been. Is your uncle still annoying you? Has your mother finally killed your Aunt Epi? How’s your mother? Did your grandfather ever get his sword back from his brother?”

  Bethany was stunned by his words. “I can’t believe you remember all of that.”

  “There is nothing about you I forget.”

  Bethany rolled onto her back and pulled him down to lie against her. He tensed as his pain increased, but after a few minutes he relaxed while she told him partial stories about her extensive family. For a few minutes he was so still that she thought he’d fallen asleep. Until she realized he was slowly working his way through the side of her peplos.

  “What are you doing?”

  He shifted his weight ever so slightly then skimmed his hand across the skin of her thigh. “What I have dreamed of doing every night since I last saw you.”

  Chills spread over her at the warmth of his hand questing for the part of her that was instantly throbbing for his touch. Bending her knees, she parted her thighs.

  Styxx sucked his breath in sharply at how wet she was already. Even though his body protested, he pushed her peplos aside and opened her for his hungry gaze.

  She moaned as he toyed with her. He sank his thumb deep into her body. Biting her lip, she rode his fingers for several minutes while he nibbled her hand and watched the pleasure playing out on her face.

  “I’ve missed you, Beth,” he breathed then he dipped his head to taste her.

  Bethany cried out as his tongue replaced his fingers. Reaching down between her legs, she sank her hand into his hair and savored the way he licked and teased her. He used his whiskers to heighten her pleasure as he dragged them down her cleft, sending chills all over her.

  “Come for me, Bethany. I need to taste your pleasure.”

  Those words sent her over the edge. Throwing her head back, she screamed out as her release tore through her. Still, he didn’t stop. He licked and teased and suckled every last tiny bit of pleasure out of her body.

  Panting and weak, she laid her fingers over his cheek. “I think you killed me, Hector.”

  “I can think of much worse ways to go.”

  She laughed at that then sat up and patted the ground until she found him.

  Styxx frowned as she slid down his body. “What are you doing?”

  “Returning the favor, my lord.”

  He arched his brow as she lifted the hem of his chiton and exposed his hard cock to her warm, soft hand. Thanks to Estes and Apollo, he didn’t like to be fondled or cupped as a rule.

  But the sight of her hand on his body … He kept his eyes open to watch as she bent her head and swallowed him whole.

  Sucking his breath in, he shivered at the sensation of her tongue swirling and teasing him with pure bliss. In his heart, he wanted this to last, but it’d been too long since he’d been with her.

  Way too soon, he growled and released himself.

  Great …

  He’d done bet
ter as a virgin. Total embarrassment filled him. “Sorry, love.”

  She licked him clean then smiled. “Why are you apologizing for something that means the world to me?”

  “How so?”

  “Given how much pain you’re in and how quickly you came just now … I know you haven’t been near another woman while you were gone.”

  “That I definitely haven’t.” He cupped her face in his palm. “Did you find the ring I left for you?”

  She held her hand up for him to see it in place.

  He smiled in happiness. “Did anyone read the inscription to you?”

  “Faithfully yours.”

  Styxx traced the line of her lips with his thumb. “I don’t promise anything lightly, Beth. And I would die before I willingly did something that hurt you. You are the only woman I will be with. Ever. On my honor.”

  She smiled at his words then stood up. To his shock and pleasure, she removed her peplos and, completely naked, laid back down by his side. Taking his uninjured hand, she kissed his palm then placed it over her heart, between her bare breasts. “I love you.”

  Touched to the core of his soul, he leaned down to nuzzle her breast then her cheek. “I love you, too. I always will. And I pray to the very gods I despise that they never separate us again.”

  “Gods you despise?”

  He had to stamp down his anger so as not to offend her with his blasphemy. Unlike him, she was a devout follower. “I know you love them, Beth. But I don’t. They’ve been too cruel to me for far too long.”

  “Sometimes—”

  He covered her lips with his. “Please don’t defend them. You can’t. But … if they will just keep you with me, I might one day forgive them and be at peace with them again.”

  “I will teach you how to love them.”

  Tears filled his eyes at her words. He didn’t doubt her abilities. If anyone could convert him, it was she. After all, he wouldn’t have known any kind of love had she not tamed him with her gentle heart and touch.