“I swear by the River Styx that if he gets on his knees and begs me for forgiveness, I will renounce my ownership to him.”
She inclined her head to him then left to return to the barracks where Galen had gone to sharpen his sword. This time, she wore the guise of Athena.
He immediately genuflected to her. “My lady.”
Hating her deception, Bethany took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “There is someone we both love who needs us, Galen.”
“Styxx?”
She nodded. “The man you’ve seen here for the last year wasn’t him. But rather an imposter sent by the gods to play havoc with his life.”
“I knew it … I knew my prince wouldn’t be so rude and harsh.” His nostrils flared. “Apollo, you bastard.”
“You know?”
“I suspected. He has plagued the prince since the day Styxx killed his grandson in battle.”
“And he has exacted a very nasty vengeance upon him. Since Styxx hasn’t been home and no one other than the three of us know it, I don’t want to put him right back into the palace. He needs to be someplace with someone I can trust to help him adjust to being free again. And he needs time to physically heal from what has been done to him.”
“I would do anything for my prince.”
Grateful to the old man, she inclined her head to him. “I will bring him to you tomorrow, but be warned, he is much changed.”
“Thank you, my goddess.”
Patting his arm, she left to return to her temple.
As she started into her bedroom, she caught her true reflection in the black marble of her walls. Styxx hadn’t handled seeing her as Bethany very well and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him more. Swallowing, she changed forms again to a blond Apollite then she opened the door.
At first she didn’t see him. It wasn’t until she realized her balcony door was open that she knew where he’d gone.
She pushed the door farther ajar to see him sitting in a corner with his legs drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Appearing more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him, he stared out across the valley and was so still he looked more like a statue than a fierce warrior prince.
“Styxx?”
He said nothing, but he glanced over to her. She walked slowly toward him.
Unmoving, he watched her warily.
“On your behalf, I’ve made a deal with Apollo for your release.” She knelt by his side. “He wants you to beg him for it. On your knees. Can you do that?”
He scoffed bitterly as if he didn’t believe her at all. “Sure. Why not? What does it matter now?”
She reached to brush his hair back.
He caught her hand in his and stopped her from touching him. The self-loathing and shame in his eyes burned her soul deep. “What fee do I owe you for your services, goddess? You want to fuck me, too? Publicly or privately? Or would you rather I pay you in blood? I would offer you my soul, but it’s already damned.”
None of that was what she wanted. What she missed. “What of your heart?”
He glanced down to the necklace wrapped around his wrist and winced. “I gave it away a long time ago and it was crushed and broken. I have nothing else to offer you.”
“Would you give me your friendship?”
Styxx blinked slowly before he looked away. “I have no understanding of that word.”
“None?”
He shook his head.
“Tell me of this woman who has your heart. Could you ever forgive her for hurting you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
That was so not true. It mattered greatly to her. “Why?”
He withdrew back into himself.
Bethany wanted to touch him, but she knew he wouldn’t welcome it. Not the way they’d all used him. “Will you not answer me?”
“What do you want me to say, akra?”
She flinched at the Atlantean term that meant “lady and master.” It was a slave’s term they used for their owners.
“I’m just a whore and a dog. I matter to no one and I have no feelings.” His emotionless tone ripped out her heart.
You matter to me.…
Her gaze fell to the scars that crisscrossed his entire body. To the brand marks that lined his left side from armpit to thigh. Then she glanced to the jagged one above his heart that she used to always make a point of kissing. The stab wound his mother had given him when he’d taken his gift to her.
How many times had she told him that she’d never hurt him and yet she had done as much damage or more than they had. She’d walked away and abandoned him when she knew he had no one else to love and comfort him.
I have no right to ask for your forgiveness.
She’d been too careless with a most precious gift. His heart.
A tear fell down her cheek as she remembered the first time he’d told her that he loved her.
Sitting by her stream, she’d been leaning against him in the circle of his arms. He’d taken her hand in his and drawn an Egyptian heart shape over the center of his chest.
“Hector, what are you doing?”
“I’m giving you my heart, my lady, but please be gentle with it. It’s brand new and unused.”
“You’re so silly … Precious, but silly.”
“As long as I make you smile, I will always be a fool for the woman I love.”
“You love me?”
“Like the full moon loves the night. I might always be around, but I only shine in your presence. And no matter where you go, I will follow you, even if I’m a million miles away.” He’d held her hand to his chest for her to feel his heart beating. “And this part of me will never belong to anyone else. I don’t give gifts lightly and I never take them back.”
That day seemed like a century ago to her and she could only imagine how much worse it was for him.
“Is there anything I can get for you, Highness?”
He frowned as if he didn’t understand the question.
“If I brought you food, would you eat it?”
Again no response. So she conjured him a bowl of apples and set them beside him. Bittersweet memories tugged at her heart as she remembered how often he’d bring apples when they met. He’d use his dagger to cut them into slices then gallantly feed them to her.
“Why do you like apples so?”
At first she didn’t think he’d answer then he whispered, “Easy to carry.”
“Is that the only reason?”
He swallowed, but still didn’t meet her gaze. “When I was a child, my father would send me to bed without dinner whenever I disappointed him. Which was a lot. So my brother would sneak apples to me before he went to sleep. They remind me what it’s like to have someone who loves me.”
Those words wrung a sob from her. “But you never talk about your brother.”
He laughed bitterly. “There’s no need to. He hates me now.”
“Why?”
“Acheron thinks that just because he has it bad, I have it good.”
“Does your brother not see the truth?”
“People make their own reality, goddess. We hate and we love for reasons that are known only to us.”
And this was what she’d missed most about him. His heart and his intelligence. They’d spent countless hours talking about ideas and human nature. Philosophy. He could speak to her in numerous languages and whenever there was a Greek word she struggled with, she could use the Egyptian or Atlantean and he’d translate it for her.
“You still haven’t told me your price, goddess.”
She conjured him a platter of meat, fruit, and bread with a kylix of wine. “Eat for me.”
Even though she could hear how hungry he was, he hesitated. Dear gods, what had they done to his food that he was so afraid to take any?
A sad shadow of resignation darkened his eyes. He picked up a slice of venison and ate it. Once he was sure it was safe, he forgot all manners and dug in to the rest of the food. She winced at
the sight of her refined, dignified prince eating like a rabid animal.
And he cleared the whole platter. There wasn’t even a crumb left.
“Would you like more?”
He shook his head then licked his fingers.
“Are you sure?”
Suddenly aware of his lack of decorum, he reached for the napkin and wiped his hands and mouth. He looked so tired and defeated. She ached to hold him and soothe his pain.
When he yawned a second later, she frowned as she caught a strange light of something.… “What’s that?”
He returned her scowl. “What?”
“Open your mouth again.”
He did and her heart wrenched. Someone had pierced a row of small silver balls down the center of his tongue. Her vision turned dark at the sight. It was a common practice in Atlantis to do that to sex slaves.
“Who did that to you?”
The shame in his eyes made her own tear up. “Apollo when he took me to Olympus.”
She’d felt them earlier when they kissed and he’d licked her breast, but hadn’t realized at the time what it was. Now that she knew, she wanted blood. “Would you like me to remove them?”
“Your will is my will, akra.”
Bethany touched his lips with her fingers and used her powers to dissolve them.
Styxx took her hand in his and held her wrist to his nose. “You smell so much like my Beth.”
“I am your Bethany.”
He shook his head and released her.
Sighing, she stood up and held her hand out to him. “Come, Highness. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
He rose without touching her and followed her back to bed. She tucked him in and started humming.
Styxx pressed his hand to his ear. “Why do you mock me?”
“Mock you? How?”
“Please put me back in the arena. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
She was flabbergasted. “You’d rather be chained like an animal than rest in my bed?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be reminded of what’s forever lost to me. It hurts enough without your making it worse.” The ragged tears in his voice made her ache as she realized that anything she did that reminded him of her cut him more.
“Very well. I won’t sing. I’ll leave you to sleep in peace.” But that was something much easier said than done. Because he didn’t sleep peacefully. Rather, he tossed and turned as nightmares tortured him. They were even worse now than they’d been whenever he’d napped in their cottage.
And as bad as it hurt for her to see that pain, it was the number of times he called for her in his sleep that sliced deepest. Unable to stand it, she sat on the bed beside him while he fitfully slept and mumbled a heartrending “Bethany.”
“Shh,” she breathed in his ear, trying to soothe him. Using her powers, she awakened him so that he could see it was her in his arms, but not so much that he’d be lucid enough to shove her away.
“Bethany?” He spoke her name like a prayer.
She laid her hand against his sculpted cheek. “I’ve missed my Hector.”
Closing his eyes, he buried his face in her hair and breathed her in. He hardened immediately. Her eyes widened as she felt his cock on her thigh. She’d forgotten how big he was.
“I think you’ve missed me, too.”
He answered her with a kiss so hot, it left her breathless and weak. Desperate to please him, she nibbled her way over his bare flesh. It was so strange to finally see the body she knew as intimately as her own.
Or so she thought.
Frowning, she brushed her hand through the sparse, short hairs of his groin to see a brand that infuriated her to an unbelievable level. Her hand shaking, she laid her fingers over the slave’s mark and ground her teeth. It was bad enough he’d been used as a whore, but to mark him as one …
It was unbelievably cruel.
Why didn’t I leave with him all those years ago when he asked me to?
It would have saved him so much pain and degradation. So much misery. Right now, they could have been in a little cottage somewhere with a baby …
Just the three of them.
Instead, she’d chosen duty and obligation, and left him in the hands of people who weren’t fit to watch a doormat.
How can I ever make this up to you?
Could she ever make it up to him? She didn’t know, but she was determined to try.
Styxx growled as Bethany took him into her mouth. His head spun. It’d been so long since he’d last known her precious caress. So long since a loving hand had touched him at all. Was this real? It felt like it, yet it seemed more like a dream.
But he needed it to be real. Just for one moment. One heartbeat.
Don’t leave me again.
Even though Bethany had abandoned him, he wanted her back so badly that when they’d taken her necklace from him, it’d felt like someone had ripped off a limb. Nothing had hurt him more.
And as she touched him, memories surged. Some so painful they threatened to rip him to the core of his soul. But somehow her touch grounded him in the present and made them recede.
For one moment, he forgot everything except those precious afternoons where he hadn’t been Prince Styxx. Where there had only been him and a beautiful woman who’d given him laughter in the midst of utter Tartarus. Someone who had taught him to smile and look forward to something.
Someone who had taught him hope and love.
His jaw quivered as pleasure shot through him. And as good as her mouth felt on him, that wasn’t what he wanted.
“Hold me, Bethany,” he breathed.
She kissed her way up his body and then laid herself against him. Styxx expelled his breath in a rush before he cupped her head in his hands and kissed her.
Rolling over, he pinned her beneath him as she spread her legs in invitation. He took her hand into his and kissed her palm as he slid into her.
Bethany moaned at how good he felt. It seemed like an eternity since she’d last held him. Over the past year, she hadn’t allowed herself to remember this. It’d been too painful.
But as she looked up at him and felt him inside her while he held on to her as if she was the most important thing in the universe, she tried to remember how she could have been dumb enough to walk away.
How could she have ever chosen anything over someone who loved her like this?
I don’t deserve you.
She hissed in ecstasy as he thrust against her. “I love you,” she whispered in his ear.
He lifted himself up to look down at her and cupped her face in his hand. He had no idea that she could see what she’d never seen before when they made love.
The tenderness in those blue eyes for her. The love and pain. It seared her. He buried himself deep inside her body. “Never once in my life did I feel sunshine on my skin until the day you touched me,” he breathed in her ear. “And without my Bethany, I dwell in total darkness.”
Her throat tightened. “I’ve missed my poet so.” No one had ever talked to her the way he did. He could be so bashful and clumsy and at the same time so eloquent and graceful. It was what she loved most about him.
He was always unexpected.
In that moment, her body erupted with pleasure. Arching her back, she cried out as he thrust harder and deeper, giving her more pleasure until he finally joined her there. His breathing ragged, he shook in her arms. “I love you with all my heart, Beth,” he whispered gently as he kissed his way to her stomach.
Sighing, he lay down between her thighs with his head on her belly. His breath tickled her skin along with his eyelashes and whiskers.
After a few heartbeats, she realized he was sound asleep. Laughing, she brushed her hand through his hair and thought about the day they’d first met when he’d fallen asleep in her lap.
But then he always fell asleep with her. She knew from their chats that he didn’t sleep well on his own. Yet any t
ime they were together, he’d doze off for a bit. It’d always warmed her that he trusted her when he never trusted anyone else.
Her smile fled as she looked down at the mark of Apollo on his back, and all the other wounds and scars there. Styxx would hate her if he ever learned that she was a goddess who had abandoned him to Apollo’s cruelty. That she belonged to the pantheon that had gone out of its way to humiliate and punish him.
And who could blame him for that? She should have fought for him instead of walking away. He would have fought for her with everything he had. Styxx would never have abandoned her. Not for any reason.
Don’t think about it.
She couldn’t change what she’d done. But she could make sure that no one ever hurt him again. And she would. Even if she had to defy every god on Olympus and Katateros. No one would ever lay another hand to her prince.
Please forgive me, Styxx.
Yet even then, she didn’t know how to reenter his life after all this time. What would be crueler? To stay away or to return to him and remind him of how she’d left him when he needed her most?
How could he ever trust her again?
For that matter, would he ever be normal? She glanced down to watch him sleep. Even unconscious, he held on to her desperately. There had been no accusation or reservation while he made love to her. That gave her hope.
Of course, he hadn’t been fully conscious either. Still, it boded well that he might welcome her back.
Or curse her to the level she knew in her heart that she deserved.
January 12, 9527 BC
Coughing and weak, Styxx came awake to bright sunlight pouring through a white marbled room. At first he had no idea where he was, until he remembered the goddess who’d freed him from his cell. He pushed himself up from the ornately carved and gilded bed with bloodred curtains.
“Careful.”
His head spun as the blond goddess helped him to sit. “Why am I so dizzy?” He glared at her. “Did you drug me?”
“No, I swear it. You have a fever.”
That explained why he was so chilled and hot.
She wrapped a formesta around him and drew it tight to his neck. “Let’s get you bathed and dressed, and then I’ll take you home.”
Pain slammed into him at the thought of returning to the arena. But he held it in. Whatever fun she’d wanted from him she must have had. And in spite of what she said, he was sure she’d drugged and used him. They all did.
Styxx (DH #33) Page 50