Except for when he fought. For that and what came after, he was always sober. Because it would be too kind for them to let him forget that.
Weary and disgusted, he followed her back to the pool and quickly bathed. There was no need to stay here any longer than necessary. At this point, kindness was the cruelest torture of all, because it made him feel human. Made him long for things the gods refused him.
Warmth. Friendship. Happiness.
Dignity.
She put a gray chiton on him then took his hand. Dreading his return to Tartarus, Styxx ground his teeth as they left her temple and materialized in a barracks area. An instant later, recognition hit him.
This was Didymos?
“Highness?”
Styxx couldn’t breathe at the sound of that familiar gruff voice. “Galen?” His knees buckled.
The goddess kept him from falling.
Galen took his other arm and slung it over his massive shoulders. “What did they do to you, boy?”
Words failed him as his emotions surged and Styxx realized that he really was home again. It wasn’t a dream or hallucination. It was real. He held on to Galen and wept in utter relief and gratitude.
Galen walked him to his quarters and helped Styxx into bed. He pulled covers over him. “I’ll get the physician.”
“You can’t.”
Galen turned to scowl at the goddess. “He’s extremely ill.”
“I know. But they think that he’s been here the whole time. How are you going to explain all the marks on his body that tell a different story?”
Galen clenched his teeth as he saw the old and new cuts and bruises. “What did they do to him?” he repeated.
Bethany wanted to cry as she remembered the way she’d found Styxx in his cell. “You don’t want me to answer that question and I know Styxx doesn’t. Suffice it to say, he’s been in the hands of people who hate him for a long time.”
Styxx ignored them both as his breaths came in labored gasps while he stared at the whitewashed wall with disbelief.
“Thank you for bringing him back.”
She inclined her head to Galen. “Please remind him once he’s able to walk unassisted that he has to…” She curled her lip in anger at what the Olympian bastard required for his freedom. “Make reparations with Apollo.”
“I will.”
And with that, she was gone.
Styxx looked around the room, waiting for it to vanish. “Am I really here, Galen?”
“You are.”
Still unable to believe it wasn’t a dream, Styxx licked his chapped lips. “How long have I been gone?”
“I’m not sure. What was the last thing you remember?”
How could he forget? “The betrothal feast. Father announced Ryssa was pregnant.”
Galen went pale as he sucked his breath in sharply.
That didn’t bode well. Styxx frowned at the old man. “What?”
“Her son is almost five months old.”
Styxx gasped as he realized it’d been almost a full year. And there was one terrifying event he wouldn’t have been here for that would have come and gone in his absence. “I’m married?”
“No. You sent the Egyptian princess home after Acheron tried to rape her.”
Deepening his scowl, Styxx tried to make sense of what Galen was saying. “I’m no longer betrothed?”
“No, Highness. Not for months now.” Galen swallowed as fear shadowed his gray eyes. “Where have you been all this time?”
Styxx winced at the memories that tore him apart. “Atlantis.” He didn’t elaborate beyond that. There was no need to tell Galen he’d been kept caged, beaten and used as a tsoulus and worse. Not that it wasn’t obvious given his physical condition. There were bite marks and handprints all over him and in places that said exactly how badly used he’d been.
Sighing, he tried to come to terms with everything. The last time he’d been gone this long, his mother had died. This time, he’d missed a birth. “Her son’s really five months old? What’s his name?”
“Apollodorus.”
Gift of Apollo. It was enough to make him sick. How could he ever call his nephew by the name of his bitterest enemy? Especially knowing that enemy was the child’s father?
But he wasn’t going to be like his parents. He’d never hold the child’s father against him. Of all men, he knew what that felt like. No matter what, he would love and protect the innocent boy.
Closing his eyes, he continued to sift through the events he’d missed. Until he remembered something else Galen had said. “Wait … I sent Nefertari home?”
Galen nodded. “I knew something was wrong. You haven’t been acting like yourself, but I thought it was premarital jitters and battle fatigue. I should have known the minute I saw the imposter pick up your shield and fight that it wasn’t you. He held it like it repulsed him.”
Styxx laughed bitterly. “Don’t be surprised if I have that aversion now, too.” Because every time he’d touched one over this last year, win, lose, or draw, the outcome had always been the same.
Abject and public humiliation at the end of the fight.
“Yes, but I was able to knock him on his arse.”
That would definitely not happen. Especially not after battling the larger Atlantean fighters they’d thrown into the ring with him. His skills had never been more honed.
Or lethal.
And still they hadn’t been enough to protect him.
“What else have I done?” He dreaded the answer.
Galen ground his teeth. “Honestly? You’ve been a royal asshole. Well … not you. The other Styxx. And you … or rather he, pissed off a lot of your men.”
“How so?”
“He repealed the pensions and upped their yearly service quotas with no extra pay. He insulted all of us and has been behaving like an out-of-control brat to everyone. Even your father has had enough of you.”
Styxx would give Apollo credit. He’d warned him that he was going to ruin him and he had. Not that Styxx had all that much to lose in terms of his reputation. But he hated that his men had suffered for it. That wasn’t something he’d foreseen.
First thing he’d do was take care of them.
And Galen.
He tried to get up and start on it, but the moment he moved, he groaned in absolute agony and fell back onto the bed. Grimacing, he glanced to his mentor. “How bad do I look?”
Galen held up Styxx’s arm that was riddled with bruises and cuts. “This is the least damaged part of you. You look like you fought Echidna and all her children. And I’m pretty sure the hydra swallowed you whole and shit you out her back end.”
Styxx let out an exhausted breath. “Nice to know I look like I feel.”
Galen laughed. “Now that’s the prince I remember. Welcome home, son. I’ve missed you.”
But I’m going to bet no one else has.
“Is the imposter still here?” Styxx asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll go to the palace and check then report back.” After rising, Galen hesitated. He went to his chest and pulled out a mirror.
Styxx took it from him and gasped. One side of his face was bruised and swollen. His left eye was completely red and purple, and his nose and lips were crusted with blood. Even with his heightened ability to heal, it would be days before he could be seen. Unless … “We could say I had an accident.”
Galen pulled the top of Styxx’s chiton down to show him the perfect handprint around his throat. “I guess someone attempted to save you by strangling you?”
“My father would probably believe that.”
Galen snorted. “The goddess was right. If you go home right now, your father will summon a physician, and I’m rather sure you have other injuries you don’t want him to see.”
“Fine.” Styxx relented. “What mouth is this?”
“Gamelion.”
“Oof…” The month of marriage and Apollo’s festival. Bad fucking timing all the way around for him. “Ha
s the festival passed?”
“Finished two days ago.”
Thank the gods for that small mercy. Except for the fact that his double would have been here for it. “Did I attend?”
“Like a drunken camp whore.”
Styxx could have done without that analogy. But at least the festival gave him an easy excuse for not being home. “Tell my father I was abducted by a lucius nymph and pulled to her lair.”
“For the record, I resent being called a lucius nymph.”
His mentor’s humor caused a tear to slide from the corner of his eye as his homesickness and gratitude slapped him hard.
Galen frowned.
Styxx cleared his throat as he forced his emotions into restraint. “Sorry, Galen. It’s just good to be home … and safe. Even if it means looking at your grizzled face.”
Galen took his hand and held it. “It’s good to have you back and I will tell your father, but I’m sure your so-called laziness will not endear you to him.”
“Let him beat me for it. At least he won’t fuck me first.” Styxx sucked his breath in as he realized the slip he’d made.
But there was no judgment in Galen’s eyes. “Rest easy, Highness, and I’ll return as soon as I can.”
Styxx watched until Galen left. He still couldn’t believe he was here. He’d never thought to see home again.
Let’s show His Highness how we treat puny Greek whores in Atlantis!
He flinched at the memory as hostile voices assailed his thoughts. Images of him being brought down by packs of dogs and leopards, and shoved into traps, tore through him. But as bad as they were, they were infinitely better than the other memories he had. And nothing was ever going to drown out the sound of the crowds cheering as he was brutalized for public entertainment.
Growling out loud, he wished to the gods he could go back in time. Regardless of his orders or the repercussions, he’d have marched his army straight up the Atlantean queen’s ass and planted his phoenix banner through her forehead.
January 17, 9527 BC
“You ready?”
Styxx nodded. “No.”
Galen laughed. “For a moment, I almost thought you were.”
Taking a deep breath, Styxx left the barracks. He was still extremely sore and cut in places he was able to cover. But worse was the fear in his heart. He had no way of knowing what he was about to walk into.
How much damage had Apollo done to him and his family relationships? While Galen had filled him in on what he could, there were still giant gaps in his information.
As they neared the palace, Galen pulled him to a stop. “We can always go back and let you rest for a few more days.”
Don’t tempt me.
“My father is already going to be pissed beyond endurance. No need in making it worse.” Grinding his teeth, he started up the stairs and cursed the architect for every one of them.
By the time he reached the top, he was trembling in pain.
Galen stood at his back. “Take a moment if you need it.”
Styxx wiped the sweat from his forehead then walked in. It was even stranger to be here now than it’d been when he’d come back from war.
The most disconcerting part was that no one knew he hadn’t been home. I am totally irrelevant.
While he’d always had the suspicion, facing the reality was a lot harder.
“Where in the name of Hades have you been?”
Styxx exchanged an I-told-you-so glance with Galen. “In bed, Father.”
The king’s glare intensified until he burst out laughing. “At least you’re honest. I trust you rode her well, then?”
Styxx was too startled to answer as his father approached him with humor in his blue eyes. Who are you and what have you done with my father?
Was this another imposter?
Styxx looked back at Galen. “She didn’t complain.”
Galen arched a brow.
Much, Styxx amended silently.
Frowning, his father took Styxx’s chin in his hand and turned his face so that he could study Styxx’s neck.
Cold panic gripped him. Was the handprint not gone?
“She must have been a biter. I can still see her teeth marks.”
A shiver of revulsion went down him at the memory of Apollo and his violent feedings. Styxx lifted his chlamys to cover that side of his neck.
His father clapped him on the arm. “Rest easy today. Since I didn’t know you’d be returning, I have nothing scheduled. You can resume your normal routine tomorrow.”
Still baffled by his father’s complacency at his absence, Styxx led Galen to the stairs. “What was that?”
Galen shrugged.
When they reached the hallway, Styxx paused and turned to the opposite direction of his room.
“Highness?”
“I want to meet my nephew.”
“Are you sure you’re up to it?”
He nodded as he made his way to Ryssa’s room. Just as he reached it, a servant opened the door to show him where they’d put the nursery.
Unsure of what to expect, he tentatively entered the room the servant had just left.
The nurse looked up and grimaced at his presence as if the mere sight of him sickened her. Styxx ignored her as he saw the boy lying on his back on top of a white fluffy sheepskin blanket. Someone had strung stuffed and wooden toys over him so that he could slap at them.
A smile curved his lips as he watched the most adorable baby he’d ever seen. Styxx sank down on the floor next to him. “Hey, sprout. Where’s your hair?”
Apollodorus’s blue eyes sparkled as he laughed and reached toward him.
Amazed and instantly in love with the tiny creature, Styxx held his hand out and smiled wider as his nephew grabbed on to his finger and squeezed. “You’ve got an impressive grip there, sprout. One day, you’ll be a fierce soldier … or at least good at holding your reins.” He wanted desperately to pick him up and hold him, but was scared to try. Apollodorus was way too small. But he was absolutely perfect and precious.
The door opened behind him. “What are you doing in here?”
He cringed at Ryssa’s shrill, angry voice. “I wanted to see my nephew.”
Shoving Styxx aside, she scooped Apollodorus up and stepped away from the brother she loathed. “You’re not welcome in here. I told you that. I want my son to grow up to be a man, and not a putrid bully like you. You are to stay away from him before you corrupt him.”
Styxx bowed to her. “I’m sorry I upset you, sister. Forgive me. I won’t disturb you again.”
The look on Galen’s face said that he wanted to say something to her, but Styxx shook his head. There was no need.
Styxx opened the door to find Acheron on his way in. His brother’s eyes flared with anger.
He stepped back to let him enter.
Acheron slammed his shoulder and elbow into him as he passed by. “Fucking bastard,” he growled under his breath.
Styxx laughed bitterly. “At least I’ve graduated up in rank from a generic asshole.”
Acheron turned on him.
Ryssa grabbed Acheron’s arm before he could attack. “Let it go, little brother. He’s not worth your being harmed again. He’s not worth anything.” She placed Apollodorus in Acheron’s arms then slammed the door in Styxx’s face.
Styxx took a deep, sarcastic breath. “Ah, blessed family. How I’ve missed them all.”
He saw his own grief and pain mirrored in Galen’s eyes. “That was wrong.”
Styxx tried not to think about it. “A wise man once told me that life, like war, is neither right nor wrong. It just is. And rather than worry over a philosophy you can’t change, you should just try to live through it as best you can.”
“You should have kicked that old bastard in his balls.”
“Yes, but you kick back, and hit like a stampeding horse.”
Galen pulled him into a fatherly embrace and kissed his head. “Let’s get you settled into bed so that you can fin
ish healing.”
Styxx lifted his cloak to show him the blood that was seeping through his bandages and soaking his side. “My brother also hits hard.”
January 20, 9527 BC
“This was not our agreement,” Bethany breathed as she glared at Apollo and his dictate for Styxx’s absolution. The Olympian sat on his throne, smirking. Her fist itched to knock the smugness off his face.
You unbelievable bastard!
Tears choked her as she watched Styxx walk naked down the center aisle of Apollo’s temple in Didymos on the Apollodorian … the day when all freeborn members of the city were required to make offerings to their patron god. The temple was packed with citizens who were mortified and stunned by the condition of their prince’s body, which still bore telltale traces of what had been done to him in Atlantis.
He was cut, bruised, and scarred all over.
So much for trying to keep it from his father. The king stood to Apollo’s side with furious eyes that condemned his son. Meanwhile, Ryssa simpered next to Apollo, blatantly amused by her brother’s public humiliation.
“You have something to say to me, Prince Styxx?” Apollo asked loudly, making sure everyone in the temple knew exactly who he was.
With a dignity that astounded her, Styxx sank down to his knees on the cold stone floor in front of Apollo’s throne. “I am here to beg your forgiveness, my lord, for any offense I may have caused you.”
Apollo scoffed rudely. “You don’t sound particularly contrite. I think you need to repeat that, louder this time. And try to make it sound like you mean it.”
The people around them whispered and conjectured on the handprints, injuries, scars, and bruises that marred their prince’s body. Especially the huge sun symbol Apollo had burned into the center of Styxx’s back. Some laughed about it, thinking that was what caused Apollo’s outrage.
Their open mockery disgusted her.
Then she saw it.… Styxx flinched at their ridicule and laughter, and his jaw quivered as if he was reliving the horrors he’d suffered in Atlantis. Somehow, he managed to get a hold of himself and repeat his apology. “I have come here to beg your forgiveness, my lord, for any offense I may have caused you.”
Styxx (DH #33) Page 51