My head was becoming too heavy and I wanted to sleep again, but the nurses didn’t let me. They kept waking me up. They wanted me to stay awake for some time. Finally as I closed my eyes I was awakened again by Dr. James and Donna. I think maybe it was the second day, but I had no sense of time passing. It was still daytime, maybe a little sunnier; I assumed I must have slept a whole day.
“Julie,” the doctor whispered into my ear, “your mother and I would like to tell you something.”
This man was totally crazy! I wanted so badly to scream into his face that I was Cassandra, not Julie, but the woman’s facial expression had so much sorrow that I surrendered to their case.
“Julie baby,” she said through her tears.
I had a sense that something was misunderstood, and wondered where Sarah and Elionora were.
“This might be hard for you to comprehend.” She forced a smile as her eyes started swimming in tears. “You have been in a coma for two years now.”
“What?” I said clearly. “What…what are you talking about?” I was scared— my own voice sounded different; it had a thin pitch that it never had before. I took away my hand from hers in fear and looked at it. This was definitely not my hand! I started shaking and breathing loudly.
“Julie, relax, baby. You’re okay now.” She was crying.
“Who are you?” I asked. “Where is Dad?”
“Answer her,” the doctor said while stabilizing my hands next to my body. I think he was afraid I might hurt myself.
“It’s me, Donna, your mother,” she replied shortly.
“No you’re not!” I screamed. “Where is Dad?”
“He’s waiting downstairs,” the doctor said.
“I want Dad!” I screamed hysterically. “Bring Dad now!”
“All right, he will come now,” the doctor assured me. “Just calm down so I can let go of your hands.”
I tried to calm down but my blood felt like it was boiling. I tried to control my screaming, but as he let go of my hands I took a closer look at them. I was definite these were not my fingers. What had they done? Did they implant new hands for me?
“You have lost lots of weight. You will feel different but it’s normal,” the doctor explained.
“Julie.” A skinny tall man with white hair came into the room. “I’m here, sweetheart.”
“Who?” I tried to speak, but as I heard my voice I was scared again because it didn’t sound like me.
“That’s Chester, your father.” Donna nodded.
“No! No!” I screamed again hysterically. “Dad! Dad!”
The more I screamed the more I was frightened by my own voice, so I screamed harder in an attempt to fix my pitch, but it wouldn’t change. The doctor asked Chester to hold my hands and Donna to hold my head on the pillow. He quickly filled a needle with some liquid and jammed it into my left arm.
“Leave me alone,” I tried to fight back. “What are you doing to me?”
“Shhh,” Donna soothed. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
A sort of cloudiness descended over me again; I was slowly losing power and sight. I tried to overcome the medicine he had thrown into my body, tried to resist the sudden sleepy feeling that overwhelmed me. I was able to hear the doctor’s comments to Donna and Chester.
“This was expected. It’s totally normal to react in such a manner after being in a coma for so long.”
“But,” Donna objected, “She didn’t seem to recognize us!”
“We do sometimes get reactions like this. Although she signaled that she remembers her name. This usually implies that she can remember other stuff too. Sometimes we have such cases where they temporarily lose their memory or forever. However, being in familiar places and with familiar faces can help them gain back their memories, or at least some of them.”
“What if not?” Chester asked.
I tried to stay awake to hear more but it was impossible. I finally resigned to this restless sleep, letting go every thought I had in mind.
When I woke up again, I heard the charming voice of the guy I couldn’t see when I had my eyes glued shut the last time.
“…Step by step, everything is going to be okay.”
I rushed to open my eyes to this comforting voice of an angel, and I was completely shocked to recognize Eric sitting beside my bed caressing my hands and speaking softly to me. Finally! Someone I knew.
“Eric?” I asked in shock.
“Oh…” He frowned into a smile. “You recognize me!”
“What happened?” I whispered, trying not to hear the sound of my voice.
“Sweetie.” He smiled.
“Eric, what happened?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He wiped his tears aside.
“Please,” I begged. I looked into his face in desperation.
“Oh, Julie, I’m not supposed to tell you.”
Did he say Julie? Wait…what was going on? Why would Eric get mixed up about my name? I wondered if the reason why he was being nice to me was because I resembled a girl he knew whose name was Julie.
His face looked gorgeous as his tears dropped down to his lower lip. “Are you going to scream again?”
“No, I promise.”
“All right.” He exhaled. “So after the accident, you went into a coma for two years and two months.”
“Accident?”
“Ah, I guess you don’t remember.” He snuffled. “We went horseback riding on a Saturday afternoon. You wanted the smaller horse because it looked easier to handle. When we reached the forest up the mountain, Rider went crazy and started sprinting and kicking. I followed you telling you to pull him back and to hold him still, but he fell into a ravine and so did you. There was severe injury to your head.”
I shook my head. Once I looked at my hands I could associate Eric’s story to those hands that weren’t mine. I tried to get down off the high bed, but my feet were not responding easily.
“No, no, no, what are you doing?” Eric asked.
“This is crazy! I need to get out of here.”
“Wait.” He put his hand on my shoulder so gently, as if he was afraid to hurt me. “I’ll take you out but just not yet.”
“I need to find Dad.”
“He’s here, I can call him.”
“What? Who?” I remembered suddenly who they got me last time when I called for Dad. “No, I mean…I’m not understanding.”
“I know. They said you will be confused for some time. You know, people change in time, so probably you couldn’t recognize them well.”
“Eric.” My voice signaled that I was about to cry.
“Yes.” He approached me in concern.
“I need a mirror.”
“I wouldn’t. I mean, you’re a little swollen.”
“That’s not important.”
“Since when?” he said. I had the feeling he wasn’t trying to joke. “I’ll get you one if you promise not to move.” “I’m staying,” I assured him.
He looked at me like he was trying to read my face; I think I was pretty convincing. He walked toward the bathroom. I looked around; the room was very beautiful. It didn’t seem like a hospital room. On the left side of my bed sat a vase of red roses, some old…some new. Maybe about a hundred. Some were even dried almost black. I suddenly remembered when I saw Eric in the hospital holding the red rose.
“No way!” I whispered. “Can’t be!”
I remembered falling into the lake while helping the kid, Eric being so angry that I was acting foolish, him holding the red rose, his anger and visits to church. That Julie must be me! I suddenly noticed that I seemed to be taller in bed. Not only were my hands weird but also my arms and voice. I started shivering again as bits of the coincidences unfolded into reason and logic. How did I wake up in that body?
“Here, if it will help you remember events.” He walked out of the bathroom holding a small mirror. “I found it in your mother’s handbag.” “My mother?”
“Yes.”
/> He handed me the mirror. I reached my hand to take it, not without difficulty, but he pulled it back. “Not yet, just to make sure you won’t hurt yourself in case you panic.”
“I won’t. Please!” I tried to hide my tension.
“All right, but you’re still very beautiful.”
I took the mirror and paused for five seconds staring into Eric’s gorgeous face, asking myself if I was able to handle the odds of what if…I wasn’t me. I needed to not be hysterical; my reaction must be close to normal.
“You don’t need to do this,” he tried.
I lifted the little rectangular mirror and stared at my own reflection. The shock of what I saw was both extremely bad and extremely good. It wasn’t me; but…it was a beautiful girl! Even with all the different colors on my face I could see that I had big light brown eyes, creamy white skin, full pale lips, and very small ears. I took another look at my ears; they were extremely small. My hair was tied back with a white bandage. There was even some blood on the left side of the bandage. I started shivering.
“That’s enough for today.” He took the mirror away and placed it on the table near his seat.
“I’m cold,” I muttered.
“Here, I’ll warm you.” He sat on the side of the bed near me and folded his arms around me. I looked up at his face from beneath his shoulder, wrapped under his hug, reminding me of Robert’s hug. “Should I call the doctors?” he said.
“No,” I responded, my teeth chattering.
“All right.” He exhaled strongly, rubbing his hands over my shoulders. A moment of silence passed before he continued. “I thought I lost you.”
Here I started contemplating the whole situation. How can a human mind cope with such twists? As weird as that might sound, I wondered if I happened to be Eric’s girlfriend, or even his sister! I thought for a second to ask him, but I knew that if I needed to know this particular information, I shouldn’t be asking him. If I remembered him, it meant that I remembered the connection I had with him.
“What happened? Why did I wake up from the coma?” I started putting my weight over his chest, trying to capture heat from his body.
“There was bleeding near your brain and the extraction was going to be dangerous. This had put you in a coma. The doctor thought that if they tried to extract the bleeding, it could kill you. Donna and I refused to take any chances, especially when the doctors said there was a slight chance that the bleeding would disappear on its own throughout time. Since last month, your situation started worsening. Two weeks ago, a reckless girl…so stupid.” He paused. “She got herself killed, but she was a donor.”
I think my heart stopped beating as he spoke. I couldn’t hear a word afterwards. For several seconds my vision became dark around the edges, and a buzzing noise in my ears drowned out Eric’s voice.
“What?” I asked.
“I know, he is totally crazy, but your father believed in him. He got him to this hospital and paid him loads to get you the best treatment. Dr. James had successfully transferred brain tissue on mice, and he thought that some tissue of the damaged brain could be replaced with a healthy-tissue implant…with some risk. I went crazy on him because I didn’t want him to work on you like you were one of his laboratory mice. But Donna was worried as the doctors informed that you were becoming worse day by day. So she signed the papers.”
“So he transferred my brain?”
“No, your brain is still there. He just took some tissue of the donor girl’s brain and reclaimed the damaged part in yours.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Well…”
“Can that happen?”
“Never before.” He laughed. “It’s why all the media are here today. They think Dr. James made a breakthrough in the medical world.”
“I don’t want to see them please.”
“You won’t,” he assured me.
There was a moment of silence before someone came into the room.
“So you are awake again?” Dr. James said.
“It depends on who you’re talking to,” I said rudely, but he laughed.
“Well, I’m talking to a beautiful girl who hates doctors apparently.” He smiled. “For two years now, Eric has been reading stories and planting roses in the room. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sleep. Not even late at night.”
“Stories?” I said. “Long Sleeping!”
“What?” Eric asked with a shocked face.
“What stories?” I tried to confuse him.
“What did you say?”
“I said I was sleeping,” I murmured.
“Oh.” He smiled. His white perfect teeth were breathtaking. It was the first time I had seen such peace on his face. He didn’t seem like the bad person he used to be.
“Look,” the doctor interrupted. “The first rain of the year.”
We looked through the window. A light shower fell silently, making everything glisten. Eric stood up. I raised my head to see where exactly the rain was falling because it came down so quietly, as if it were landing on a carpet. Eric’s eyes tightened as he turned toward me. It was a beautiful rain; the day was partially sunny, with maybe a few clouds nearby but blue sky in the distance.
“Do you mind waiting outside?” the doctor asked Eric.
“Can’t he stay?” I interrupted.
“He may come back in a few minutes,” he assured me.
Eric walked out and closed the door. I was able to see his head through the small window glass of the door as he stood there. Dr. James asked me all sorts of questions. I told him that I didn’t remember anything at all. Even Eric seemed familiar but I didn’t know who he really was.
“He is your fiancé,” Dr. James said as he checked the bandage over my head.
“He’s what?” I think my mind was getting accustomed to too many shocks. Now the red roses made sense.
“You are lucky, you know? He’s a good guy.”
I rubbed my nose in agitation. “What do you know about good?”
“Only that he didn’t miss a day being here next to you.” He smiled. “I think you may start with the therapist tomorrow. I bet you’d like to walk.”
“Yes, I would like to walk out of here.” I was still trembling.
“We’ll get you something to eat too,” he said coldly. I had the sense he thought of me as one of his laboratory mice. I could see what Eric was talking about.
“Maybe a dessert as well,” I said as he walked out of the room. “You got it!” He laughed.
When Eric was back in the room, I looked at him differently. I was terribly scared and shocked; however I couldn’t stop admiring him, his walk, his confidence… But I was shy as well. I had been rejected once, and I may have become disenchanted and learned to love Robert silently afterwards. But really, what did I know about love?
“What?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Nothing,” I said angrily.
“Hmm…well, I have a plan.” He smiled.
“What plan?”
“Sneak you out.”
“What?” Now that was sounding like a good idea. I was a little worried though. I didn’t know if I was really healthy enough to go out. I didn’t know how to move my body. Not any part seemed to work correctly; this Julie was too skinny. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“I don’t think I can walk yet.” I looked at my abnormally skinny feet.
“I can carry you.”
I laughed sarcastically. “Do you really think we can sneak out unseen while you are carrying me?”
He sat on a chair near me and exhaled slowly, raising his face upwards. “What makes you think we should go unseen?”
“Well, you did say sneak out.”
“It sounds better.” He pressed his lips together, trying to hide a smile.
“Oh. Well, tomorrow I’m starting with the physical therapist.”
“But there is this one condition.”
“What is it?”
“Show
improvements with the therapist…” He paused. “And I’ll sneak you out.”
“You mean just go out.”
“Umm, there is this other condition. But you’ll hear it tomorrow.”
“So far we don’t have a deal,” I negotiated.
“Oh, and do you think you have better choices?”
“I have conditions too.” I pulled the cover over my shoulders.
Eric pushed a button that pulled down the bed so I could lay back relaxed.
“I want that mirror again.”
“It’s not possible.” He frowned.
“Why?” I was shivering again.
“It’s not fair, until you’ve gained your strength.”
“Well, it will help me remember who I am.”
“It wouldn’t help you now,” he said, disappointed. “But you do remember me!”
“Not really.” I tried to rub my head like I usually do when I’m nervous, but I had forgotten that I had the bandage on and suddenly felt a terrible pain as I pressed the bandage.
“Don’t touch that.” He rushed in, taking my hand down.
Suddenly the rain was falling heavier. I was able to hear the sound of the drops as they touched the grass.
“It’s cold,” I said again.
“I’ll ask them to turn up the heat.” He pressed the key connected to the nurses’ station.
By the time the nurses balanced the temperature of the room, Eric was sitting calmly beside me. They regulated the medication that was being pumped into my body through the IV in my arm. A little afterwards I fell asleep. I woke up later; it was totally dark outside. Eric was sleeping on the chair next to me. Donna and Chester were sitting on the sofa at the bottom end of the room, both restless. I fell asleep and woke up again several times. I think I woke up another time in the middle of the night. Chester was gone; Donna occupied the whole sofa as a bed. Eric was still sleeping on the chair beside me, apparently not very comfortably.
I looked for the mirror; it was still placed on the table near Eric’s seat. I tried to reach for it but couldn’t. My feet were hard to move and very heavy to carry. I wanted badly to see that girl I had become now. I knew though that I had no choice but to give up on my attempts to reach that mirror. I sighed heavily as I thought of Dad. I didn’t know if he was back yet and had received the bad news. It would be impossible to explain the situation to him. My God! Even Elionora and Sarah must be in a terrible sadness. How could I explain that the only person who had truly died was…this Julie?
Different Minds Page 11