Space Team: Song of the Space Siren

by Barry J. Hutchison

  “Mech?” Cal whispered.

  “What?”

  “I think your dad’s here.”

  “Shut the fonk up.”

  A red and blue beacon began to flash way at the top of the towering robo-tank.

  “Aw, look, they gave it a little light on its head,” said Cal. “Is it weird I think that’s kinda cute?”

  “Repeat. This is the police. Put down your weapons. This unit is authorized to use lethal force,” boomed the mechanoid.

  Mech’s fingers went to a button on his wrist.

  “Wait, you’re not going to shoot at it, are you?” said Cal. “No offence, Mech, but that thing could pick you up and use you like a toothpick.”

  “OK, one, I’d like to see it try,” Mech grunted. “And two, no, I ain’t going to shoot at it. I’m opening the landing ramp.”

  Cal glanced over at the Untitled just as a ramp lowered smoothly beneath it. “Ah. Gotcha.”

  “OK,” Mech whispered. “On my mark, we…”

  But Cal and Miz were already off and running. The walking tank swiveled to track them, and Mech hissed with rage. “They couldn’t have waited three fonking seconds,” he muttered, raising his arm and pumping out a few laser rounds. They ricocheted harmlessly off the police robot’s chest, but they got its attention. Mech beat a retreat towards the Untitled as the tank opened fire.

  A blast slammed into his shoulder. Another tore into his thigh, staggering him in a shower of sparks. “Shizz,” Mech spat, as the hydraulics in his left leg twitched and spasmed. He limped on. The ramp was less than fifteen feet away, but a warning on the HUD behind his eyeballs suddenly flashed up in red.

  “Missile lock?” he yelped. “Aw… fonk!”

  Mech heard the paff of the rocket launching. There was nothing he could do but cover his head with his hands, grit his metal bottom teeth against his organic top ones, and hope there was a Cyborg Heaven.

  BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!

  The staccato screech of a blaster turret burst into life right beside him. The missile erupted a hundred feet behind Mech. He raised his head to see Cal standing at the bottom of the ramp, the turret hooked over his shoulder, his face a mask of excited glee as he sprayed thirty blasts of concentrated firepower a second along the street.

  “Woo-hoo! This thing is awesome!” Cal announced, but his voice was drowned out by the turret’s din.

  Despite the barrage of laser blasts current slamming into its upper body, the tank-cop advanced. “Hurry up, Mech!” Cal bellowed. “Get in.”

  Mech struggled forwards, clanking onto the ramp just as the Untitled’s lift-thrusters painted the underside of the ship in shades of brilliant blue.

  Miz caught Mech by the arm and helped him aboard. Cal backed towards the ramp, still raining blaster fire on the approaching mechanoid. He hopped on and released the trigger as the ramp raised, and the ship lurched into the air.

  Cal unhooked the turret from his shoulder and blew on his hands. Even through the grips on the handles, the metal had become uncomfortably hot. “Remind me to wear gloves next time,” he muttered.

  And that was when he spotted the girl. She stood behind Mech, half-hidden by his hulking frame. “Wait. Why’s she here?” asked Cal. “How did…? You’re not supposed to be here.”

  “Guys!” called a voice from up front. “Get up here. We’ve got a problem.”

  “Well, like, isn’t that a surprise?” Miz muttered. “Surely even she can’t have crashed already?”

  Cal pointed to the girl. “You. Follow me. We’ll drop you off somewhere once we’re out of whatever mess we’re currently in. But for now, just don’t touch anything.”

  On the bridge, Teela Loren sat at a horseshoe-shaped bank of controls, gazing grimly at the star-filled sky ahead. Miz flopped down and slouched into her chair, while Mech took up his usual standing position to the right of the viewscreen and activated the magnets in his feet. His damaged left leg fizzled and spat angry-looking sparks onto the floor around him. Loren glanced at the leg, just briefly, then turned her attention back to the screen.

  Cal noticed the look. “You think that’s bad? Check out my ear,” he said, bending beside Loren and pointing to the side of his head.

  “What about it?” asked Loren, irritated.

  “I got shot.”

  Loren turned back to the screen. “Looks fine.”

  Cal felt his ear. It seemed to be intact, and the blood was no longer flowing. “Huh, that’s weird.”

  He turned to the girl, then pointed to a row of three chairs fixed to the bridge’s back wall. “You, sit there.”

  “And I’d put on your seatbelt, if I were you,” Miz suggested. “We’ve got, like, the worst pilot in the universe.”

  “Aww. Don’t listen to her,” said Cal, rubbing Loren’s shoulders. She shrugged him off.

  “Quit messing around. We’ve got a big problem,” said Loren. She pointed ahead. “There.”

  Cal squinted at the viewscreen. He could see mostly black, with lots of white dots and very little else.

  “What am I looking at? The stars? What’s wrong with the stars?”

  “Not the stars,” said Loren. “They’ve closed the planetary shielding. Whole planet’s sealed shut.”

  Cal narrowed his eyes and stared harder. “Where?”

  “Well you can’t see it,” said Loren. “It’s an invisible shield.”

  Cal tutted. “Well why did you point then?” he asked. “Why point at something I can’t see?”

  Loren opened her mouth, but hesitated. “OK, you’re right, that makes no sense,” she admitted. She glanced back over her shoulder at Cal, and spotted the girl for the first time. “Who’s that?”

  “Hmm? Oh. Loren, hostage. Hostage, Loren,” said Cal. He caught Loren’s shocked expression. “No, not our hostage. She was a hostage, but we rescued her, and now she won’t leave us alone.”

  “Oh. OK,” said Loren, then she shook her head and turned her attention back to the screen. “Anyway, visible or not, the shielding is up, and we are stuck in here.”

  Cal backed up and lowered himself onto his seat. It was much more comfortable than his chair on the Shatner had been, and didn’t make embarrassing farting noises when he turned too quickly, but he missed the old one all the same.

  “Can’t we just shoot our way through?” he asked.

  Mech answered before Loren could open her mouth. “Look, I told you, man, the weapons systems on this thing are complex. It’s gonna take me a few more days to fix them.”

  “It was just a suggestion,” said Cal.

  Mech sighed. “No it wasn’t. It was a jibe about me not getting the weapons fixed yet. You know it, I know it, let’s call it what it is.”

  “Besides, sir,” chimed a stiff, elderly voice from somewhere overhead. “Even with weapons systems online – advanced as they are – they wouldn’t allow us to penetrate a planetary shield of this magnitude.”

  Cal spun in his chair to find the girl gaping upwards in surprise. “That’s Kevin,” he explained. “He’s a living computer.”

  “I am an artificially intelligent synthesized construct,” the voice corrected.

  “Which is a fancy way of saying ‘a living computer,’” Cal reasoned.

  “And my name is K-Seven-Zero Dash Nine-Three-Three-Zero-Seven Dash Zeta.”

  “But we call him ‘Kevin’ for short,” said Cal.

  “Cal!” Loren barked. “The shield. What do we do?”

  “Why are you asking me? I thought you knew about this stuff?” He looked from Loren to Mech. “One of you must know a way through it.” He smiled hopefully. “Right?”

  “Can’t be done, man,” said Mech. “When the shields are up, nothing gets in, nothing gets out.”

  A series of red dots appeared on a display near the bottom of the viewscreen. “Shizz,” Loren spat. “Incoming pursuit ships. Local law enforcement and a couple of Zertex fighters.”

  “But we can outrun them, right?” said Cal. “We’re faste
r than they are.”

  “Yes, but there’s nowhere to go!” Loren reminded him. She realized she was pointing at the invisible barrier again, and stopped. “What do you want me to do, just circle the planet over and over again until they give up and go home?”

  Cal chewed his lip. “Think that’d work?”

  “No!”

  “If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, sir?” said Kevin. “I have analyzed the shielding and it appears to be a now mostly outdated piece of Zertex technology, model number BFS-Zero Dash Y Dash Three Seven Four Six Dash—”

  “OK! Great. What about it?” interrupted Cal.

  “Nine,” Kevin concluded. “As I’m sure we’re all only too painfully aware, sir, this model was plagued by reliability issues, and replaced almost immediately by the upgraded BFS-Three Dash—”

  “Kevin!” Loren barked. “We’re about to be swarmed by fighters. What’s your point?”

  The AI paused very deliberately before continuing. “My point is, ma’am, the frequency modulation on this model was an unmitigated disaster. Embarrassing, actually. Hitting the shield at exactly the right velocity and precisely the correct point in its modulation cycle allowed ships to pass through unscathed. Smugglers took advantage of it all the time, I believe. I see no reason why we cannot do the same.”

  “Fly straight into it,” said Mech. “That’s your plan?”

  “Indeed, sir.”

  Cal puffed out his cheeks and looked around at the others. “OK, somebody please tell me they’ve got a better plan. Mech? Miz?” He turned his chair and looked hopefully at the girl. “You?”

  “We’re being hailed by the Zertex fighters,” said Loren.

  “Ignore them. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message,” said Cal, spinning back to the front. “Kevin, do what you’ve got to do. Get us through that shield.”

  “Very good, sir,” said Kevin. “Although it will require Ms Loren’s help.”

  “Great,” huffed Miz. “We’re all going to die.”

  “It is quite simple, ma’am,” Kevin continued. “On my command, engage warp at zero-point-eight-one thrust. I shall handle the rest.”

  Loren’s fingers danced across the controls. It had been a few days since they’d acquired the ship, and while there was still a dazzling number of buttons, switches and holographic displays which she had no idea the purpose of, she had at least got to grip with the basics.

  “OK, keyed in,” said Loren.

  Mech studied the display at the bottom of the screen. “Those ships are gaining. Whatever we doing, we need to do it fast.”

  “An excellent point, well made, sir,” chimed Kevin. “Ms Loren, kindly engage zero-point-eight-one warp… now.”

  Loren punched the warp drive. The Untitled lurched towards the stars, forcing everyone back in their seats. For a moment, Cal thought he saw a shimmer stretching all the way across the sky. Dead ahead, and getting rapidly closer.

  “Or was it point-nine-one?” Kevin wondered, and everyone with an arm rest gripped it tightly, and opened their mouths to scream.

  The stars rippled. The ship shook. But then they were through the shielding and speeding off into the depths of space.

  “Sorry,” said Kevin, practically sniggering. “Just my little joke.”

  “Good one, Kevin,” said Cal. “I mean, I almost shizzed my pants and died, but… you got us.”

  “Yes, I rather did, didn’t I, sir?”

  “Going to full warp,” Loren announced. The stars became long strings of light as Loren put distance between them and the planet. By the time the shielding was lowered to let the pursuing ships through, they’d be far beyond the range of even the Zertex fighters.

  Which left only one problem.

  Cal spun in his seat. “So, what do we do about you?” he wondered. The pale spots around the girl’s eyes darkened slightly, and she shuffled nervously as everyone turned her way. “We can’t bring you back there, for obvious reasons.”

  “We could put her in a suit and throw her out,” Miz suggested.

  “OK, well that’s one idea,” said Cal. “Anyone else have any that don’t involve her dying alone in space?”

  “We wouldn’t just, like, leave here there,” said Miz, scowling. “We’d call someone and tell them where to find her, obviously.”

  “Right. Better, but still not great,” said Cal. “Anyone else?”

  “There’s a mining station a couple of hours away,” said Loren, bringing up a star chart on the right-hand third of the screen. “We could drop her there.”

  “Aha!” cried Cal. “That’s more like it. We take her there, drop her off, then head off into the sunset like champs. What could be better?”

  “Alternatively, sir,” began Kevin. “You could return her safely to her parents on her home world and claim the rather substantial reward.”

  Cal looked at the girl. She twirled a strand of her bright red hair around a finger, looking anxious, but saying nothing.

  “Reward, eh?” said Cal. “Now that, I like the sound of.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Two different three-dimensional images of the girl – one a full-length body shot, the other head only – slowly rotated in the middle of the bridge. The hologram was ever so slightly transparent, giving the girl a ghostly quality. The non-ghostly version gaped at the images in wonder, then touched her face as if checking she was still herself.

  “Soonsho Sooss,” announced Kevin. “Went missing from her home world of Cantato Minor some three weeks ago. The authorities believe she ran away. Her parents insist she was abducted.”

  “Score one for mom and dad,” said Cal.

  “Quite, sir,” agreed Kevin. “However, all parties are united in their desire to see her safely returned home. The reward is one million credits.”

  Mech’s metal jaw dropped open with a squeak. “Say what?” he muttered. “You got to be kidding me.”

  “Oh no, sir, I never joke,” said Kevin. “It is not in my programming.”

  “Uh… what about the speed thing? With the shield?” said Cal. “That was a joke.”

  “Was it, sir?”

  “That’s what you said,” Loren agreed.

  Kevin hesitated. “Oh. I’m afraid the entire exchange appears to have slipped my mind,” said Kevin.

  This was not new. As a highly experimental artificial intelligence, Kevin could be unstable at the best of times. When the ship that had been carrying the Untitled plunged through a wormhole and crashed, resulting in Kevin spending several years in forced solitary confinement, his quirks had gone on to develop quirks of their own.

  “However, I shall take your word for it, and reassure you that, in this instance, I am being quite serious. There is a one million credit reward on offer to anyone who safely returns Soonsho Sooss to her parents on Cantato Minor. These are the facts.”

  Cal looked from the hologram to the girl. He smiled, but she didn’t smile back. “Do we know anything else about her?”

  “Oh, yes, sir,” said Kevin. The viewscreen was suddenly flooded by reams and reams of text. It scrolled upwards in a blur of digital print. “Would you like me to read it aloud?”

  “Christ, no,” said Cal.

  “We’re doing this, right?” said Mech. “We’re going to get the reward?”

  “And, more importantly, reunite a kidnapped girl with her parents,” said Loren, shooting Mech an accusatory glare.

  “Yeah, I mean, that, too,” said Mech. He looked to Cal. “We are, right?”

  “Uh, does a bear shizz in the woods?” Cal asked. The others looked at him blankly. “The answer to that is, ‘yes,’ by the way. We’re going to take her home.”

  “Alright!” Mech cheered. “We’re gonna be rich!”

  “And do a good thing,” said Loren.

  Miz snorted. “I’m with him. We’re totally going to be rich.”

  He spun in his chair. Soonsho was still transfixed by her hologram. The hair was different – same color, but lon
ger – and she dragged her fingers across her scalp, as if comparing the two styles.

  “Hear that, kid?” said Cal. “We’re taking you home.”

  Soonsho eyed him silently.

  “Don’t look so happy about it,” said Cal, then he spun and looked around the bridge. “Talking of people who don’t say anything – which I appreciate we weren’t, but I was thinking it – where’s Splurt?”

  “He’s hiding,” said Loren.

  “This again, huh?” said Cal. He slouched down in his chair and used his feet to slowly turn it. “Is he that control panel?”

  “No.”

  “Is he on the floor?”

  “No.”

  “Is he that bit there, with all the wires sticking out of it?”

  “I told you, man, I am working on fixing that,” grunted Mech. “It’s a complex system.”

  “No.”

  Cal shrugged. “Then I give up. Come out, come out wherever you are.”

  For a moment, nothing happened, then the chair on Soonsho’s left transformed into a gloopy green jelly. The girl let out a gasp, and the lights on the bridge flickered, just faintly, and barely enough for anyone but Mech to even register.

  Splurt collapsed into his usual ball-shape, and rolled towards Cal, his bulbous, oddly human-looking eyes spinning around inside him like balls in a bingo machine.

  “There’s my little buddy!” Cal grinned as Splurt circled his chair a few times, then rolled beneath it and wrapped himself around the base. “You got me again, Splurt. But I’ll find you next time.”

  He looked across to Soonsho, who was even more shocked by Splurt than by the hologram, which faded away as Cal turned. “That’s Splurt. He’s a shapeshifter,” Cal explained. “If you think his chair was impressive, you should see his Dorothy out of the Golden Girls. You’d swear Bea Arthur was right there in the room.”

  He sang the first few lines of the Golden Girls theme, realized that neither Soonsho, nor anyone else, had the faintest idea what he was doing, then stopped and turned his chair to face front again. “OK. Did we do the ‘plot a course’ bit yet?”

  “No,” said Loren.

  “OK. Loren, plot a course for… whatever that planet was called. We’re taking this girl home!”