Melancholy

by Bella Jewel

  I just didn’t know I could get what I desperately needed from a biker.

  He’s being so slow with me, so sweet. His mouth peppers little kisses across my face and neck, his fingers create light touches up my side and over my breasts. My skin is alive, my body is thrumming and it feels amazing. I close my eyes and take it all in, letting him explore my body, letting him bring me alive in a way Alec refused. He’s replacing all the bad Alec put on my body, and replacing it with something beautiful, something Maddox.

  “It’s takin’ everything for me to hold back,” he murmurs against my neck. “You’re so damned gorgeous, Santana.”

  I shudder and he groans.

  “That’s how it should feel, baby,” he growls. “When a man makes you feel something fuckin’ beautiful.”

  “You make it feel,” I struggle for breath. “Amazing. I need more, Maddox. I need you, now.”

  He brings his mouth forward and captures my lips in his. Like the first time, the kiss is God damned scorching. His tongue moves past my lips and causes mine to go weak, like it’s having it’s own wobbly leg moment. His rubble is scratchy against my cheek in the best possible way.

  “Fuck,” he growls, pulling back. “Never has kissin’ anyone felt so damned good.”

  I stare at him, just taking him in. He’s so beautiful. I reach up, stroking my fingers over his rugged face. His eyes search mine, for answers, for hope, I don’t know . . . but it feels good. This moment feels exactly how it’s meant to. I slide my hands from his face, down his neck and stop when they’re flat on his chest.

  “What’s next?” I breathe.

  He lifts me off his lap in one, swift movement, dropping me onto the couch beside him. He turns, shrugging his leather jacket off and tossing it. Then he leans over to me. I put a hand up to stop him. “The shirt,” I breathe. “Take it off.”

  With a grin, he lifts the hem of his shirt and discards it quickly. I take a moment to stare at the pure perfection that is Maddox. Ripped abs, tattoos over tight, smooth skin, and ropes of muscle up his long arms leading to thick, God damned edible shoulders and pecks. He’s mouth watering.

  I lean forward, pressing my mouth to his skin, letting my tongue slide out to taste him. He growls, throaty and deep, pushing me back. “Who’s leadin’ this party?”

  I smile wryly, leaning away. He reaches for me, taking hold of my dress and pulling it up and over my head until I’m in nothing but a G-string and a bra. A low, guttural moan leaves his lips as he studies me. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect.”

  I bite my lip as he takes me into his arms, reaching around to unclip my bra. He drops it off and leans back again, staring at my small, but full breasts. His jaw is tight as his eyes graze over my skin, then he leans down, his hand sliding around my back to pull me closer as his mouth captures my nipple.

  “Oh God,” I whisper as sensations I’ve never experienced course through my body.

  His tongue swirls the tip of my nipple, causing tiny bolts of pleasure to shoot through me and right down to my sex. I whimper, clutching his arms as he devours one nipple, then the other. His other hand slides down to my panties, taking hold of them and ripping them off in one, quick movement.

  Oh, my.

  His fingers travel over my pubic bone, and he slips a finger into my damp flesh. I cry out as his thick finger finds my clit, gently stroking it. I squirm in his arms, incoherent babbling coming from my lips as he sucks my nipples and makes my entire body come alive in ways I’ve never felt or imagined.

  “M-M-M-Maddox,” I cry out.

  “Did he make you come?” he growls.

  “No,” I gasp.

  “Good. I’m goin’ to.”

  He massages my clit softly until little bolts of lightning shoot through my body, erupting like tiny firecrackers. I scream out his name as the most intense, incredible pleasure takes over. I tremble against his body as he shifts me, laying me down onto the couch. Before I’ve even finished shaking, he’s between my legs, lifting my hips and pressing his mouth to my pussy.

  Oh, fuck.

  “Maddox,” I plead as he breathes over my clit, not licking it, just teasing until it hurts.

  “You smell so fuckin’ good, so fuckin’ . . . good,” his voice is strained, like holding back is the hardest, most painful thing he’s ever done.

  “Please,” I beg.

  “Mmmmm,” he hums against my flesh, and it radiates right to my very core.

  Then his tongue dives into my flesh and a scream is ripped from my throat. Oh, nothing has ever felt so amazing. Yes. I arch up as he devours me, his tongue flicking, his lips sucking. He tilts his head to the side, running his tongue up my lips before diving back in, capturing my clit in his teeth and rolling it around.

  I come again, shamelessly quick. He pulls back, staring down at me, his mouth glistening with my arousal. God, that’s hot. His jeans are straining with his cock that so desperately wants to be set free. I want to see it like I’ve never wanted to see anything in my life.

  “I want . . . I want to see it, Maddox,” I whisper.

  “See what, honey?”

  “Your . . .”

  “Say it,” he growls.

  “Your cock.”

  He moans, throaty and deep. God, he’s beautiful. He takes the top button of his jeans and flicks them open. He reaches in and pulls out his cock, his big hand wrapped around it. Holy shit, seeing him holding himself like that is scarily hot. I want to keep watching. I want to see what happens when he comes.

  “Oh . . . God,” I say, my voice low.

  He’s huge. Long and thick, an impressive length. His fist is tight around himself, as if he’s straining to hold back.

  “Will you . . .” I swallow, my cheeks burning. “Will you . . .”

  “You want me to stroke it?”

  I bite my lip, nodding.

  “You want to watch me come, baby?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  He gives me a sexy half-grin, and he begins stroking. His hand moves up and down, revealing the thick head of his cock. It’s an angry red—God, it looks like it actually hurts. His hand moves lazily at first, just sliding up and down. His balls are tucked up, only a small flash of them showing every now and then.

  “Harder,” I breathe.

  His eyes widen, but he complies. His hand moves faster, working up and down. God, that’s amazing. I sit up, leaning forward, wanting to feel it, to touch it, to see how soft that skin is in my hand. I reach out, tracing my thumb over the thick tip, lifting a drop of pre-cum off and pressing it to my lips. Slightly salty, but all Maddox. I groan.

  He hisses.

  “Fuck,” he growls. “That was hot.”

  I reach out, offering my hand to him. He stops stroking long enough to take it and wrap it around his cock. He’s so hot there, warming my palm as he closes his hand over mine, and begins stroking our joined hands up and down. He’s hard, and I can feel the veins pulsing beneath my fingers.

  “Fuck, fuck,” he pants.

  He moves our hands faster, and his cock swells. Then a thick white liquid bursts from the tip, hitting my chin. I stare in shock and fascination as strand after strand shoots out, spilling over me. Maddox groans, low and deep, and it’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

  He softens in my hand, and he lets me go. He stares at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He reaches up and swipes his release off my chin, and then he brings it to my mouth. I know what he wants from me, but do I have it in me to be that girl? That dirty, erotic girl? I meet his eyes.

  “Taste me, honey,” he murmurs. “Let me see your mouth around my finger.”

  That does it for me.

  I lean forward and open my lips. He slides his finger into my mouth, and the taste of him swirls over my tongue. I suck him off, taking him, letting him inside me in a way he’s never been before. His breathing deepens and a throaty groan escapes his parted lips. He slips his finger from me, curls his hand around the back of
my head, and jerks me forward, devouring me with his mouth.

  Oh. My. God.

  His tongue and my tongue share his taste, swirling it around our mouths. Our groans mingle and I whimper, clutching Maddox’s shirt and pressing myself against him.

  Then a knock sounds out.

  We pull apart, lips puffy, breathing ragged.

  “What?” Maddox barks.

  “Need a word, bro,” Mack calls out. “Now.”

  His tone sounds quite urgent. Maddox turns to me. “Sorry, honey.”

  I’ve already got my panties and bra on. I take my dress and pull it over my head, while saying, “It’s okay.”

  “Hey,” Maddox says, doing up his jeans. “Look at me.”

  I look up at him.

  “That was fuckin’ perfect. Don't you walk outta here regrettin’ it. You hear me?”

  I nod.

  He steps forward and kisses me, hard and quick.

  Then he’s gone.

  ~*~*~*~

  MADDOX

  “What’s so fuckin’ important you’d pull me from bein’ with that girl?”

  Mack turns to me, his face stony. “Got a response from Kennedy.”

  I tense. I sent word that I wanted to see him, but of course he didn’t want a bar of it. Probably thinkin’ I was a drug lord comin’ to threaten him.

  “And?” I prompt.

  “He will see you.”

  I grin. “Fuckin’ ripper.”

  “But he wants Santana there, too.”

  My blood goes cold. “How the fuck does he know about Santana bein’ with me?”

  “Prisoners talk. Wouldn't be hard for him to find out who you are. Especially with some of the Tinmen behind bars.”

  “Fuck,” I bark. “No fuckin’ way.”

  “Way,” Mack grunts. “And he’s threatenin’ to get word to her himself if you don’t bring her.”

  “That piece of shit,” I snarl, crossing my arms.

  “You know what this means, don’t you?”

  “It means you’re goin’ to have to tell her,” Krypt says, coming into the room.

  “Fuck off, Krypt. Don’t start pushin’ me. I just fuckin’ got her, and you’re both askin’ me to break her heart.”

  “You can’t keep dancin’ around this,” Krypt growls. “She deserves to know.”

  “And I’ll tell her,” I snarl. “When I know where her fuckin’ sister is.”

  “Kennedy is the only man who can tell you that, and to tell you, he wants to see Santana.”

  “Not happenin’,” I snap.

  “You ain’t got a choice,” Mack said. “You don’t take her, he’ll find a way to get word to her. She don’t deserve to hear this from him, Maddox.”

  I run my hands through my hair, growling and sighing. “I need time, give me a few weeks. Get word back to him, tell him I’ll bring her in a few weeks, that right now she ain’t safe. Might hold him off.”

  “You’re a selfish cunt, Maddox,” Krypt barks.

  I turn to him, shooting daggers in his direction. “What did you just fuckin’ say?”

  “You heard me,” he says, getting up in my face. “You’re a selfish motherfucker. That girl cares about you, you care about her, and you’re lettin’ her fuckin’ get close to you when you know, you fuckin’ know it’s goin’ to break her.”

  “Ain’t none of your business,” I hiss.

  “If you cared about her at all, you’d fuckin’ stop until she knows. Not only are you goin’ to break her heart when she finds out about her sister, but you’re goin’ to crush her too, because she’ll have fallen for you. Walk the fuck away until this shit has been sorted, you selfish fuck.”

  He’s right. He’s fuckin’ right. What the fuck am I doing? I’m letting her fall for me, which in turn is only going to break her heart further when she knows what I’ve done. I run my hands through my hair, and a feral hiss leaves my lips.

  “Fuck,” I bark. “Motherfucker.”

  “Ain’t sayin’ you can’t care about her, boss,” Krypt says, his voice like ice. “But you need to tell her before she falls for you.”

  “I’ll fuckin’ lose her,” I snarl. “And she’s all I’ve got.”

  Krypt shrugs. “You have to live with what you’ve done. Ain't no one goin’ to take that shit for you.”

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  2008 – Santana

  “Did you get rid of that shit?”

  A voice. Barked. Rough.

  My head pounds and I roll to my side, blinking rapidly. Where am I? What happened? I see nothing but darkness, even though my eyes are open. I blink again, and a blinding pain radiates through my head. I whimper loudly. God, what happened?

  “She’s waking.”

  A hazy form appears in front of me, I can’t make him out. He’s big, though, his presence strong and dominating.

  “Can you hear me?”

  I blink again and my vision begins to clear. There’s a big man in front of me, his long hair falling down over his shoulders. He’s got blue eyes, really, really blue. He’s handsome, incredibly handsome, with a big strong jaw, full lips, and olive skin. He reaches up and pushes the hair out of my eyes that I didn’t even know was there.

  “W-w-w-w-where am I?” I croak.

  “What’s your name, honey?”

  I stare at him, a little confused. “I . . . it’s Santana.”

  “Santana,” he says, testing it on his tongue. “My name is Maddox. I found you convulsing in an alley three days ago. You were high as a kite, nearly dead. Do you know what happened?”

  An alley?

  My foggy brain tries to piece together what happened. When it does, I bolt upright, crying out in pain as my head pounds. I’m attached to a makeshift drip, which worries me. Why aren’t I in a hospital?

  “Where’s Pippa? Where is she?” I cry.

  The man, Maddox, shakes his head. “I don’t know who that is. You were alone until those men showed up and . . .”

  “Kennedy?” I cry. “Did he come?”

  He shakes his head. “No one named Kennedy, but whoever those fuckers were, they were bad news. They were going to snatch you up, take the drugs and leave. We dealt with them.”

  Cold fear travels through my body as I stare at the stranger in front of me. “W-w-w-w-who are you?”

  “I’m the President of the Joker’s Wrath Motorcycle Club. You don’t need to fear for your life, darlin’. Those fuckers won’t hurt you now.”

  “But my sister,” I cry. “Kennedy!”

  “Kennedy sent you out with those drugs to do his fuckin’ dirty work?” The biker barks.

  “No,” I stop. “Yes.”

  “Bastard. You tell me where he lives, and I’ll find your sister.”

  “Y-y-y-y-you will?”

  “Yeah, but don’t ask me to take you back to that piece of shit.” He leans down close, frightening me. “No one gives an underage girl so many drugs it nearly kills her, and then sends her packing to risk her life for him.”

  “He didn’t give them to me,” I whisper the words, low and soft. “I stole them from the package.”

  “You’re an addict.”

  It’s not a question.

  I nod anyway.

  “You got family, girl?”

  I shake my head. “They died. My sister and I were in foster homes until Kennedy took us in.”

  “Well, I’m goin’ to get your sister, and then you can stay here as long as you need.”

  I stare at him. He holds it. There’s something very real about this man. He tilts his head to the side, daring me to argue with him. He’s also incredibly dominant.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  “Sleep, Santana,” he says, turning to leave. “You’ve got a long road ahead, judging by those marks in your arm. It ain’t goin’ to be easy, but we’re goin’ to get you there.”

  ~*~*~*~

  2014 – Santana

  Chao
s has broken out.

  One of the old ladies just found out her man fucked one of the club whores. Fists started swinging. Shit hit the fan. I tried to stay out of it, I really did, until Cacey started mouthing off about YaYa, the old lady who just found out her biker is a prick. I swung the first punch. I won’t lie. Then everything just got out of hand.

  Cacey hit me.

  I hit her back.

  Suddenly the focus is on us and we’re rolling around on the floor. She’s gotten two clean punches in, I’ve gotten three. Now her hands are in my hair and she’s tugging, snarling curses at me. I spit them right back, furious. A heavy arm curls around my waist and hauls me backwards, but I use that to my advantage.

  My legs swing out, and I connect with Cacey’s mouth. A loud crack echoes through the room, and then her screams fill the now silent space.

  “Enough,” Maddox barks, and I realize it’s him who is holding me back.

  “You stupid bitch,” I snarl at Cacey. “Get your cheap ass outta here.”

  “Quit swingin’ your legs around like a mad woman and stop, fuckin’ now,” Maddox barks, shaking me a little.

  His words are like a whip, and my legs drop quickly.

  Someone gathers Cacey up and removes her, and I am swung around, still in Maddox’s arms, and carried off down the hall. He takes me to the bathroom, his strides angry. He drops me on the sink when we get in, but he won’t look at me. Something is wrong.

  “Maddox?”

  Nothing.

  He just soaks a clean cloth and begins wiping my face, his eyes on my wounds and nothing else.

  “Maddox?” I try again. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No,” he says, but his voice is acidic.

  “Oh, well, can I come home with you tonight?”

  “No.”

  It hits me then, like iced water to my skin. He regrets what happened. Tears spring to my eyes as I realize what a fool I was. I gave him what he wanted, what he’s wanted for years, and he’s obviously figured out it wasn’t what he’d hoped for. Maybe he had bigger expectations. Maybe I’m just not good enough.