Dangerous Beauty: Part One: Destiny

by Michelle Hardin

  “I didn’t mean to, Mickey. I’m sorry.”

  All the guys looked in the direction of the soft feminine voice. Carter stood meekly at the bottom of the staircase. Her hands clasp together in front of her. She looked at Mickey with an apologetic smile. Her long hair cascaded down her back and over her shoulders in long waves that ended at her waist. She wore an oversized pink shirt that hung off one smooth brown shoulder, a pair of denim jeans that hugged her curvy hips perfectly, and flared at the bottom. She was both sexy and classically beautiful, and commanded their attention without even asking for it.

  Carter stood waiting for the guys to say something, and when they didn’t, she cleared her throat and continued her apology. “I actually want to apologize to all of you about that. I’m still not used to having people in my life that actually care when I do something stupid and incredibly dangerous,” she said nervously shifting from one foot to the other. When the guys still didn’t say anything, she rolled her eyes. Jesus, what did she have to do? Beg? “Come on, guys. Cut me some slack here,” she said softly.

  Dante was the first to jump up from his seat. “Of course we forgive you, sweetheart. Don’t we guys?” he said trying to get the rest of the guys to speak up and agree. He walked over and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and hugged her tight.

  Carter hugged Dante, and then she turned to Lucca’s direction. “What about you?” She started walking over to him and he smiled.

  Lucca stood up from his seat, and grabbed Carter’s arm and pulled her into a tight hug. He gave her a big loud smooch on her forehead. “Of course I forgive you, beautiful.” Carter giggled and hugged him back.

  Once they broke their hug, Carter turned to Mickey. He was still on the couch sitting back with his arms folded over his big chest. Carter smiled, and bit her bottom lip. “Mickey?” she said in a sing song voice as she inched toward him.

  She saw a smile pulling at his lips, and she stood in front of him. “Come on, Mickey,” she said bumping his leg with hers, and he smiled wide. Carter bent forward, placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “You know you like it when I’m bad,” she whispered so only he could hear, and she smiled against his cheek when she felt him tense, but he didn’t touch her. She stood up and looked at him, amused by the tension in his body.

  “You’re a little jerk, Carter,” Mickey said through clenched teeth.

  A wicked smile spread across her face. “I’m also better at this game than you are. Don’t forget that,” she said with a wink. “I knew you would find it in your heart to forgive me, Mickey,” she said smugly. She could never stop her inner bad girl from making an appearance when it came to Mickey.

  Just as she was about to walk away she remembered that she wanted to ask Mickey something. “Oh yes, before I forget,” she swallowed and frowned, “did I umm…”

  Something unreadable flashed through Mickey’s eyes. “Kill the girl?” He finished her question with a sudden seriousness. Then his eyes softened and he sat forward on the couch and took her hand. “No, beautiful. You didn’t kill the girl.” He turned her hand over in his and touched her palm. “Her blood is not on your hands. You can keep these beautiful hands clean until you’re ready to come back over to the dark side” he said with sly smile. “Until then, we’ve got you.”

  Immediately, Carter knew what he meant by the statement. He killed Tessa.

  “It was just…easier that way, honey.” Lucca spoke up.

  Carter nodded but continued to look in Mickey’s eyes. There was no remorse, no regret, and no fear. He didn’t have a care in the world. It both unnerved and intrigued Carter. What exactly did Mickey do, when he wasn’t on vacation?

  Brushing off her curiosity she pasted on a smile. She gave Mickey’s hand a squeezed and told him thank you.

  Nathan watched Carter closely. She looked like she was okay, but Nathan could see that she was just putting on a brave face. Once again his mysterious girlfriend was hiding behind that beautiful smile and witty charm, but she wasn’t fooling him for a minute. Nathan knew his Carter, and he saw the emotions she was trying to hide in those expressive hazel eyes. Carter was sad, angry, and afraid, but Nathan knew she would never reveal the reasons unless he went ahead and nudged her to her breaking point, which he knew she was close to. Instead of waiting for her to fall, he would give her the light pat that it would take to push her over the edge. Nathan knew it may not be the best boyfriend move, but he didn’t give a shit. He has never been, and will never be, a patient man. Once she fell he would catch her, and then they would finally be able to continue their journey together with no walls, and no secrets.

  Nathan watched Carter’s smile disappear as she approached Kyle.

  “Carter, honey, I know you’re probably still mad—”

  “I’m not Kyle,” she said cutting him off, and she wasn’t. Carter could never stay mad at Kyle for too long.

  She reached up and grabbed a hand full of his hair, pulled him down to her level, and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Kyle chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into a big bear hug. Carter wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him tight.

  “I’ll stop being such an ass, and I’ll make up for all the shit I put you through today. I promise,” Kyle said as he put her feet back to the floor.

  Carter stood back and looked at him with a smile. “I know you will,” she said smugly. “When Jenna comes over tomorrow, you are going to be as sweet as a cherry pie to her.” Carter gave Kyle a light pat on his cheek.

  Kyle frowned. “She’s not coming today?” he asked.

  Carter shrugged. “No. I called her and told her that Tessa’s a bitch, and she pissed me off. I just want to be with Nathan today,” Carter said truthfully. “Jen said she understood, she has plans today too,” Carter smirked. “She met a guy.”

  Kyle’s eyebrows shot up in shock. “The man hater met a guy?”

  Carter laughed and nodded her head. “She doesn’t hate men. Kyle, she just hates you.” Carter said with a nonchalant shrug. “Anyway, they’ve been dating for two weeks. I decided to invite her over to your house tomorrow morning for the breakfast that you’re going to cook for all of us.” Carter said with a big smile. “Then she and I will leave and go do girl stuff. Doesn’t that sound great?” Carter asked daring Kyle to change one of her plans for tomorrow morning. Behind her she heard the three amigos snickering, waiting for Kyle’s response as well.

  Kyle sighed. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Want anything specific?” Kyle asked with a tight smile.

  Carter smiled. “Yes, you make incredible omelets. Remember you made me one for breakfast the time I stayed over,” Carter frowned “before you disappeared.”

  “Hey that was his fault, not mine,” he said pointing over at Nathan.

  Carter’s mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide in shock. “My Nathan’s the asshole boss?” She laughed. “I guess that makes sense, but I can’t really picture him ordering you guys around.”

  Carter heard a snort before all the men in the room began muttering under their breaths simultaneously. Carter got the feeling that her boyfriend was very much a strict boss.

  Carter looked over at Nathan with a raised eyebrow, surprised. Apparently there was a side to her Nathan that she has yet to see. Carter knew he could be controlling at times, but she thought it was just with her. Apparently, it was just his nature.

  “Alright, enough of that” Nathan said effectively silencing the men.

  Carter chuckled. “My, my, you are bossy,” she said walking over to him. She bit her bottom lip as she admired his shirtless state. Very sexy. “Well guys, let me take the boss off your hands,” Carter said grabbing Nathan’s hand, leading him to the stairs. “You boys have fun, and I’ll let the boss put me to work today.”

  Mickey chuckled. “I have a feeling it’s not going to be the same type of work, honey.”

  Carter smirked and shrugged. “Maybe not, but I’m sure he’ll work me hard. I’ll probably break a sweat
, and I’ll be really tired once I get off,” Carter said playfully.

  Dante, Lucca, Mickey, and Kyle burst out in loud laughter.

  “See you later, boys,” Carter said leading Nathan up the stairs.

  ***

  Carter and Nathan walked hand in hand up the staircase.

  She sighed with relief and held Nathan’s hand tight. She made it. When she was in the bedroom she wasn’t sure she could dry her tears long enough to go downstairs and make sure the guys didn’t think she was a complete psycho, but she did. She even managed to smile and tell a few jokes. Carter was glad they weren’t upset with her, because she really did care about them all. But right now she needed to be held. She needed to feel loved by the only man that made her feel safe, from herself, from her past, and from who she was afraid she would become.

  Once they made it up and entered the long sky lit hallway, Carter turned and looked at Nathan over her shoulder. “What about you, do you forgive me?” she asked with a small smile.

  “Yes, I do, but don’t do it again,” he said and Carter nodded.

  Good, Carter thought with relief. She really didn’t know if she would do it again or not. She tended to lose her mind a little when she was pissed, thanks to her mother, but Carter would give it her best shot for him.

  She was so emotionally exhausted, and the only place she wanted to be right now was in Nathan’s strong arms. She knew that was the only way she could pull herself back together and function like the normal, non-fucked up, human being she so desperately wanted to be.

  She had everything ready for their day together. When she came out of the shower she went and got some new bed sheets and a comforter, and she ordered some takeout from Nathan’s favorite pasta restaurant, in Hope Beach. She couldn’t wait to spend the soon to be rainy day with her—

  Carter’s thoughts were interrupted when Nathan stopped them from walking.

  She tried to pull him, but he was unmovable. She turned around to look at his face, confused to why he stopped. She saw that his expression had become serious, more serious than Carter had ever seen him.

  “A nod is not enough, Carter. And neither is trying to do better.” Carter’s eyes went wide, and she took in a sharp breath. Could he read her mind? “No, I can’t read your mind, but I know what that nod means, and it’s not enough,” Nathan said angrily. “Do you have any idea how terrified I was? That shit doesn’t happen to me, ever. I always have control over every potentially lethal situation I am in the presence of except the one today, when you, my fucking girlfriend, provided a gun to a deranged woman daring her to kill you.” His deep voice was low and cold. “Don’t ever do anything like that again.” All Carter could do was nod. Nathan narrowed his eyes and pulled her closer. “Say that you won’t,” he commanded. The look in his eyes told Carter that if she didn’t do as he said, she would regret it.

  Carter shifted from one foot to the other nervously. She was trying to maintain eye contact with him, but the coldness in his normally loving stare was breaking her heart. Nathan was pissed, and he had a right to be. She knew the guys thought the gun was loaded since she had fired off a bullet in the kitchen, but in her enraged state she just didn’t care. “Nathan, the gun wasn’t fully loaded.”

  “That’s not what I told you to say.” Nathan jerked his hand from hers causing her to jump. He tried to walk passed her, but she moved into his path quickly.

  Carter moved closer to him and pressed her hand against his chest hoping to soften his hard demeanor. She looked up into his eyes trying to hide the tears threatening to spill from her own. “I won’t ever do anything like that again. I promise,” she said softly while looking into his eyes.

  When both his expression and demeanor remained cold, she stood up on her tip toes and kissed his lips, praying that he wasn’t too upset to kiss her back. When Nathan didn’t kiss her back, Carter felt a sharp pain in her chest, and she swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Panicking she reached up, and cupped his face and placed another soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered against his mouth while she continued to kiss him softly. She needed him to kiss her back. She needed him to let her know everything between them would be ok, that he forgave her. “Nathan, please,” she pleaded with a desperate whisper. She looked into his cold gray eyes, and her eyes began to glisten with tears.

  Please Nathan, I don’t think I can take it. I need you, her thought pleaded.

  “Why was that the first time I have ever heard your full name?” Nathan asked, anger filling his gray eyes. He grabbed her shoulders, and pushed her back from him.

  The tears began to fall from Carter’s eyes as she looked up at a very angry Nathan. But her tears didn’t affect him. He wanted answers, and Carter was going to try and give him what he wanted. “Nathan, I…”

  “You lived on the streets in St. Louis for two years after your father died,” Nathan stated. “That is another thing that you didn’t share with me.”

  “Nathan if you just—”

  “You mentioned your mother, twice, in your fight with Tessa. When I asked you about your mother you told me, to my face, that you had no idea who she was. You lied.”

  Carter had never seen Nathan this angry with her before, but there wasn’t just anger in his eyes, there was hurt. He was hurt because she kept secrets about herself from him. But she had to. She was protecting the love that they had developed for one another. Carter convinced herself a week after her and Nathan found each other that sharing all the details about herself with him wouldn’t make their relationship stronger. It would only bring him to his senses. He would realize that she wasn’t good enough for him, that he was better than her, that she had nothing to offer him, and probably never would.

  “Nathan, can we talk about this in the bedroom?” Carter asked softly wiping the tears from her face.

  Nathan’s jaw clenched. “Talk about what?” He cocked his head to the side. “About the fact that you don’t trust me, or trust the fact that I love you enough for you to truly let me know you? Or that you, for some damn reason, felt more comfortable sharing your life story with an enraged bitch than the man you’ve been sharing a bed with for nearly a month?”

  Carter could see Nathan was getting more and more furious with her, but she couldn’t speak. She was too afraid of saying the wrong thing, and she couldn’t lose him. Nathan ran his hand through his hair, and paced before stopping in front of her once again.

  “Carter, I want you to answer this question for me honestly. Do you trust me?”

  “Yes,” Carter said without any hesitation. She did trust him. Nathan was the only man she would ever trust with her life, her body, and her heart.

  Nathan grabbed both of her hands and brought them to his heart, his eyes finally softened. “Then stop hiding from me. You can fool everyone else, but not me, honey. I can see every part of you. I look into those beautiful hazel eyes and see every bit of hurt, anger, pain, uncertainty, and fear that you try to hide behind that beautiful smile, and it kills me. It kills me to know that you don’t trust me enough to let me know you, all of you, and I can’t accept that, Carter. I won’t be in this relationship with you if you continue to hide from me. Tell me why I should continue to be with you when there are times, like today, when you say or do something that makes me feel like I don’t even know who you are.”

  Nathan waited for a response, and when he didn’t get one he spoke again. “Carter, baby, you have to help me out here this is new territory for me too. I’m trying to navigate through this shit right, but I can’t do it alone. I need you to be honest with me. Whatever you’re holding back is affecting you. You have my heart, Carter. What affects you affects me too.”

  Carter was trying to think of what to say, but she couldn’t think straight. His words played over and over in her head but she didn’t know how to respond. Carter did trust Nathan, but sharing too much of her past with him would only make him leave her, right? At least that’s what she thought. She just
didn’t know anymore. She knew she had to say something or she was going to lose him, and she couldn’t take that. She couldn’t even handle the thought of it, so she spoke. Her voice barely above a whisper, “Nathan I…”

  Carter’s words were cut off when Nathan abruptly let go of her hands, and stormed furiously to the bedroom. Carter gasped at the force in which he pushed her back, and when she regained her balance, she ran in the room after him. When Carter walked in the bedroom she literally felt her heart fall to the pit of her stomach. Her eyes darted everywhere around the room trying to register what she was seeing.

  Nathan pulled his suit case from the closet, and began packing his clothes. He pulled out his cell phone and texted someone, then he threw it aside and continued putting his things in the suit case.

  Carter could feel her heart beat quicken, she felt light headed, and nauseous. “What are you doing?” Carter asked frantically through the waterfall of tears coming out of her eyes.

  “My vacations over. I need to get back to Manhattan. There are things I haven’t been paying attention to that I should be. I’ll call you as soon as I can,” Nathan replied not even looking at her.

  Carter crossed her arms over her chest, she suddenly felt cold and her body began to shiver. “No, Nathan, please don’t,” she whispered through a sob, shaking her head over and over again.

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t leave.”

  “I need to, Carter,” Nathan said continuing to pack his suit case not even sparing her a glance.

  She was losing him, and she didn’t know how to make it stop! Nathan was leaving her when he promised her that he fucking wouldn’t. That thought was enough to turn her tears from sad to angry.

  “You won’t call!” she snapped.

  “I said I would, didn’t I?”

  “But you won’t! You’re trying to get away from me. You’re a fucking liar! You told me you wouldn’t leave me, but you lied!” she yelled, taking deep breaths and sobbing.