Revelation: The Todor Trilogy, Book One

by Jenna Newell Hiott

  Numa walked to the edge of the lake and pulled her apron and kirtle over her head. She knew the water would be cold, for it always was, regardless of the season. But she looked forward to the ritual; to leaving her childhood behind and fully embracing womanhood. She walked into the lake and continued walking until the water covered her head. Then she bent her knees and dipped down as low as she could go. The cold water bit into her skin and eyes, but she wanted to stay there until she could no longer hold her breath. Every second in the water meant more renewal and, while her life had always been blessed, she never again wanted to know the loneliness of a life without Gemynd’s love. She wanted to live all the moments of the rest of her life with the fullness of heart she felt right now.

  When her lungs felt as though they might burst, Numa pushed herself up and broke the surface of the water with her arms straight in the air. As the air surged into her lungs, she felt a new sense of strength and purpose come over her. She was a woman now and more than ready to become a wife.

  “Come, lie on the grass while we prepare you,” Gracewyn said and guided Numa to a soft, flat place near the water.

  Numa lay down and felt her naked body begin to vibrate with the energy from the earth below her. Felyse rubbed fairytooth scented oil all over Numa, starting with the soles of her feet, while Gracewyn combed Numa’s hair.

  “Will you sing to me like you used to?” Numa asked. “Sing me the songs of my childhood so that I may remember them well enough to sing them to my own children one day.”

  Felyse and Gracewyn began singing. Their voices so clear and harmonious Numa got goosebumps despite the summer heat. “I will never forget the songs,” she said and joined in the singing. The sound that came from the three of them was so beautiful, Numa could swear she felt the grass beneath her dancing in time to the music.

  When the songs were finished, Felyse said, “It is time to stand up and start the winding.”

  Numa stood and Gracewyn and Felyse began the tedious process of winding the strips of cloth around Numa’s body. It was a skill that not everyone possessed and Numa had seen her share of weddings where the bride looked as though she wore a colorful death shroud rather than a wedding garment. But Numa had faith in her mothers’ abilities to make everything they touched look lovely.

  “Mothers?” Numa asked as they knelt on the ground, beginning their winding from just below Numa’s knees. “Will you miss me?”

  They both looked up and smiled at her. “You and Gemynd will take a new sleeping house,” Felyse explained. “But nothing else will change. We will still work side by side. We will eat and bathe together.”

  “And you will always be our daughter,” Gracewyn added. “And we will always adore you.”

  “And I you,” Numa replied, feeling suddenly choked with emotion. How blessed her life had been, to be born in Aerie and to have Gracewyn and Felyse as her mothers. And now, to have the most wonderful man in all of Todor as her husband.

  Suddenly Numa heard the sound of footsteps coming toward the Baldaquin tree and seconds later Keeper Stout appeared, panting as if he’d been running.

  “Keeper! You’re not supposed to be here yet,” Gracewyn scolded as she and Felyse hastily wound strips around Numa’s most private parts. Most days, nudity was commonplace enough in Aerie, but it was considered bad luck for any man but the groom to see the bride naked on their wedding day.

  “My apologies,” Keeper Stout said and at first tried to avert his eyes. But then he looked right at Numa and his face held a note of sadness.

  “What is it?” Numa asked, suddenly fearing something was terribly wrong.

  “It’s Gemynd,” he said and his shoulders sagged. “It was reported that he is a glinter and they are sending him to his training. Right now.”

  Numa felt the earth drop away from beneath her and she was suddenly caught up in the sensation of falling. Falling faster and faster with nothing to hold on to; no piece of ground to set even her toe.

  “Gemynd!” she shrieked and started running. She ran around the lake, cut through the yard between the Eating House and Meeting House and skirted the Wishing Hut, all the while having the vague realization that some of the strips of cloth had loosened and trailed behind her like flames. Then she came to an abrupt halt.

  Bronty and Ruddy Tom had Gemynd pinned up against a wall as they bound his wrists together with a leather strap. Gemynd resisted, but the two men overpowered him.

  “Leave him be!” Numa shouted and the three men turned to face her.

  “Numa,” Gemynd said softly and she was almost certain she saw tears sparkling in his eyes. He was already dressed in his wedding garment. Head to toe in black dyed leather with silver stitching. He was so handsome it took Numa’s breath away.

  Gemynd struggled then, trying to pull away from his captors. Numa stepped toward him and gave Bronty a hard shove. “This is the day we are to be wed. Please, let us have at least a moment together.”

  Bronty and Tom looked to the small gathering of Keepers who stood nearby. The Keepers nodded their consent and Bronty and Tom released their hold on Gemynd.

  “What happened?” Numa asked as she and Gemynd walked a few steps away for some semblance of privacy.

  Gemynd shrugged. “Someone turned me in,” he said with a look of menace flashing in his eyes.

  “But only the three of us knew,” she whispered.

  Gemynd responded with only a look. A look that spoke volumes. He believed Soman had turned him in.

  Numa quickly shook her head. “No, it couldn’t have been Soman. There must be another explanation.”

  Bitterness and ferocity played in Gemynd’s eyes for several moments, but then his whole demeanor softened when Numa reached up and touched his face. He glanced once at the men who awaited him, but then gave Numa a sly smile. “I’m not leaving this way,” he said, but never opened his mouth. Numa realized with a start that he had said it inside her mind. Gemynd looked over his shoulder and Numa watched with fascination as the leather binding untied itself from Gemynd’s wrists and fell to the ground. “I will hold you once more,” he said and closed the distance between them, pulling Numa fiercely against him.

  It was then that Numa’s heart caught up with the situation and shattered. Gemynd was leaving. “We will not be married, then?” she sobbed against his chest.

  Gemynd grabbed Numa’s face between his hands and tipped it up to look in her eyes. “I don’t require a ceremony to be your husband. I give you my vow of eternal love and fidelity right now. I am yours forever.”

  Numa nodded and wanted desperately to make a vow as well, but was afraid she couldn’t speak. “I give you my vow too and I am your wife forever,” she managed.

  Gemynd bent down and covered Numa’s mouth with his, kissing her with wild desperation. At that moment, Numa didn’t care who looked on and she reached her arms up around Gemynd’s neck and pulled him as close as was possible. As their mouths and tongues continued their tangled dance, Numa tasted tears. Then Gemynd broke the kiss, standing up straight.

  Panic gripped Numa’s heart. “Don’t go,” she pleaded, holding tight to Gemynd.

  “You are my wife now. And I give you another vow,” he said solemnly. “I vow to return to you and Aerie. No matter what. I will change the laws of Todor if I must. Or I will break down the rock wall. Whatever it takes, I will come back for you.”

  Somehow Numa managed to unclasp her hands from around Gemynd’s neck. She stood, frozen in place as he gave her one final, brief kiss. And then he walked to the waiting crowd. She couldn’t breathe and couldn’t respond as a searing pain tore through her chest. She watched him go over the side of the cliff. He looked up once and their eyes met. “I love you,” he said simply to her mind. And then he was gone.

  Numa was only vaguely aware of hands on her body; and faces, one after another, appearing like phantasms before her. There were voices that sounded far away telling her “Drink this.” and “Lie down.” And then all was dark. Not even th
e sound of her own heartbeat penetrated the blackness.

  Numa first became aware of light and then a heavy, liquid feeling in her limbs as though they had somehow turned to quicksilver. She tried to lift her head, but it, too, was like liquid metal. She tried to speak, but her tongue was swollen and stuck to the roof of her mouth. When she could bear no more, she let herself drift again into the black oblivion.

  Once again, a trace of light pulled Numa away from the dark. But this time, her body felt more manageable. It was not so heavy as before, but just felt strangely furry on the inside. She swallowed and her tongue still felt enlarged, but she could move it around the inside of her mouth.

  “Are you waking?” a voice asked from near by.

  Numa tried opening her eyes and instantly regretted it. The light thrust its way through her eyes and into her brain like a bolt of lightning. All she could do was groan.

  “Take it slow, Numa,” the voice said. “You’ve been given a large amount of a very strong tea made with night-slippers and horsetail. Your body must readjust to being awake. Give it some time.”

  “What?” Numa squeaked. Nothing the voice said made any sense.

  “Just rest,” came the reply.

  Numa wanted to close her eyes again and return to the darkness, but an empty gnawing inside her refused to allow it. After several moments, she began to make out shapes and then objects as her sight slowly returned. She recognized that she was in her mothers’ sleeping house, lying on their bedsack. As her eyes continued to focus, she saw Gracewyn sitting on the floor next to her.

  “Precious Numa,” she said and pressed a wet cloth against Numa’s head.

  “Am I ill?” Numa asked in a scratchy voice.

  Gracewyn shook her head. “No,” was all she said.

  “What’s happening?” Numa asked. Nothing was making sense. Why did she feel so awful if she wasn’t ill? Why had she been given a strong tea?

  Gracewyn looked at Numa with obvious pity, the way she’d seen people look at mothers whose babies had died. “What is it?” she asked again, this time trying to sit up. The room tilted and spun, forcing her to lie back down.

  “Everyone was concerned for you,” Gracewyn said. “We thought the tea might make it all easier to bear. It allowed for time to pass while you slept with the idea that when you awoke, the grief would have healed some.”

  “What grief?” Numa asked, now feeling alarmed. “And how much time has passed?”

  “Three days,” Gracewyn said, still wearing a look of pity. “Do you not remember?”

  “Remember what?”

  Gracewyn took a deep breath and said, “Gemynd had to leave.”

  And it all came crashing back to Numa. As if a moment hadn’t passed, she was right back there, standing near the edge of the cliff, watching Gemynd go over it. The image of his face just before it vanished over the cliff’s edge was seared into her mind. This was the cause of the gnawing emptiness inside her.

  Numa pinched her eyes shut and felt tears fall down her cheeks.

  “He vowed to come back,” she said through a sob. “But what if he can’t? They didn’t let Brighton return. Oh, mother, what if I never see him again?”

  “Hush now,” Gracewyn said as she lightly stroked Numa’s hair. “That sort of thinking will only tie your insides in knots. The future is yet to be written. Have faith, child. The Deis will provide.”

  Numa covered her face with her hands and let herself cry. She hardly noticed when Felyse had entered the room and joined them. The thought of having to face even one moment without Gemynd was too much to bear. She decided then that she would figure out a way to return to the darkness.

  As if reading her thoughts, Felyse said, “You must be strong now so that Gemynd has his Numa to return to.”

  Numa allowed herself to picture Gemynd’s perfect face. She imagined him making his way back to Aerie, back to her. He would be haggard and worn after all the trials and tribulations he’d surely endure just to get back. And then she imagined his face after finding out that Numa had succumbed to the darkness. That he had fought his way back for nothing.

  “I’ll be strong,” she muttered, deciding that if Gemynd could do whatever it took to get back to Aerie, she could endure the waiting.

  “That’s my girl. Now, drink this.” Felyse said, handing Numa a cup. The liquid inside smelled of fairytooth and Numa took a small sip. “It’s mostly water, but we boiled it with a bit of fairytooth. It will counteract the effects of the other tea and you’ll feel back to yourself in no time.”

  After a couple more sips, Numa realized she was quite thirsty and quickly drained the cup. Felyse refilled it without question.

  “I’ve been thinking of the Truths,” Numa said. “And I can’t figure out what choice I made to have caused such suffering. I fear that if I don’t discover it. I may make the same erroneous choice again.”

  Gracewyn squeezed her hand. “I think you may misunderstand the Truths, dear heart,” she said. “What happened is not a result of your choices, erroneous or otherwise. The events that took place are as they are. I believe the Truths simply mean that now, in the face of what has transpired, you can choose to suffer or not.”

  Numa furrowed her brow. “I do not feel as though I am choosing to have a hole where my heart should be. Nor do I feel I have any choice in the sorrow that has consumed me.”

  “But you do have a choice as to whether or not any of that will cause suffering.”

  “I do not understand,” Numa said, feeling frustrated.

  Gracewyn smiled. “I would venture to guess that you experience the most pain when you think of the future. When you think of having to endure many moments, many days, even years without Gemynd,” she said, bringing a fresh wave of tears flowing from Numa’s eyes. “But you could make the choice to not think beyond this moment right now. And if in this moment you feel sorrow, then feel sorrow and let it flow through you. Just choose to think ‘right now I am sad’. When thoughts about the future come in, such as: ‘What if I still feel this way tomorrow?’ or ‘Can I bear it if I feel sorrowful for the rest of my life?’ simply choose to ignore them. For you are choosing to focus on only one moment at a time. And you can bear anything if it is only for one moment.”

  “I choose to only feel this moment, right now,” Numa said, trying out her mother’s advice.

  “I believe Joy comes to us when we accept each moment as it is and suffering comes when we resist it. It is by resisting the present moment that we disrupt the Oneness of Life. Does this make sense to you?”

  Numa nodded and studied her beautiful, golden-eyed mother. “I never knew you were a scholar of the Truths,” she said. “And I’ve never heard them interpreted that way before.”

  Gracewyn chuckled. “I’m not a scholar of the Truths,” she said. “But I have lived them for a very long time.”

  Numa had been so caught up in Gracewyn’s words that she hadn’t noticed Felyse had gotten up again until she heard a commotion at the doorskin.

  “It might be best to wait,” she heard Felyse say.

  “I need to know she’s well,” Numa heard a familiar voice say.

  “Soman,” Numa said and felt a tiny bit of warmth creep into her heart. “Please come in.”

  Soman covered the distance between the doorskin and the bedsack in two strides and engulfed Numa’s hands between his enormous ones.

  “I’ve been absolutely beside myself,” he said, pressing her hands to his face. Numa frowned as she noticed Soman’s red eyes and worry-lined face. He was visibly thinner than he had been when she saw him last.

  “Have you eaten?” she asked.

  Soman shook his head. “I couldn’t bring myself to,” he said. “All I could do was pace outside your sleeping house. First, I lost Gemynd and then I feared I would lose you too.”

  Numa pressed her lips together. She had been so selfish, thinking only of her own heartbreak, she had not, even for a moment, thought about how this had affected Soman. He h
ad never spent a day away from Gemynd either. And Numa knew they loved each other as brothers.

  Felyse set a tray of food and the rest of the fairytooth tea next to the bedsack, then she and Gracewyn quietly walked from the sleeping house, allowing Numa and Soman their privacy.

  “Come, sit with me,” Numa said, attempting to sit up again. This time the world held steady and Numa breathed a sigh of relief.

  Soman sat next to her on the bed without taking his eyes off her. “I was so worried,” he said.

  “I’ve decided to be strong,” Numa said and forced the best smile she could manage. “Soman, I’ve never hurt this bad in my life. I didn’t even know it was possible. But we’ll take it one moment at a time. And we’ll do it together. Thank the Deis we still have each other.”

  Soman nodded and his eyes filled with tears. He pulled Numa’s hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

  “Please eat something,” Numa said. “I don’t like seeing you this way.”

  Soman took a deep breath and picked up a piece of dried meat from the tray. His stomach rumbled loudly in response.

  “You eat too,” he said and ate the entire strip of meat in two bites.

  Numa drank the rest of the tea, nibbled on some bread and picked at a piece of marblefruit. Her appetite had not returned yet. Soman, on the other hand, had a multitude of meals to make up for. Numa was happy to see some color returning to his cheeks.

  “I can’t believe this has happened,” Soman said when he’d paused in his eating. “While Gemynd is at training, we will work to change the Keepers’ minds about not allowing glinters to return.”

  At Soman’s words, Numa felt a glimmer of hope. Perhaps she and Soman could make a difference. She couldn’t think of a time when Keeper Clary’s decisions had ever been overturned, but she knew him to be a reasonable man. Then Numa remembered what Gemynd had said before he left.

  “He thinks it was you,” she said quietly, not sure how Soman would take the news.

  “Who thinks it was me?” Soman asked, eyeing Numa’s uneaten piece of marblefruit.