Breaking Shaun

by E. M. Abel

  He lifted his head and looked down at me, his hooded eyes making him even more gorgeous than usual. “It keeps getting better,” he said.

  I got the impression though that he was talking more to himself than to me.

  But he was right. It did.

  “What’s your nickname?” I asked Shaun as we lay naked in my bed together.

  “God,” he said, turning to face me with a smile.

  “No, seriously.”

  “I am serious. Isn’t that what you call me?”

  When I reached over and smacked him on the chest, he winced and started laughing.

  “Ha-ha. Very funny,” I muttered before rolling onto my stomach and hugging my pillow against my chest.

  Shaun’s eyes searched my face for a few seconds before his focus moved back to my ceiling. “You wanna take a trip with me today?”

  I thought about it for a second. My instinct was to say yes, but I couldn’t ignore the nagging voice in my head that kept reminding me to be careful. I rubbed my lips together before asking, “Where?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  I studied his face before finally giving in. There was no use fighting it. I’d been fighting to keep Shaun at a safe distance since I first met him, and everything I’d done was useless. If I’m going to fall, I might as well enjoy the ride down.

  “Okay.”

  Shaun smiled. “Okay.” He surprised me when he sat up and smacked me on the ass. “Well, get up then. We ain’t got all day.”

  I rolled onto my side and watched him as he made his way toward my bedroom door, his big cross tattoo on display over his firm ass. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly bossy?”

  He paused in my doorway and looked back at me over his shoulder. “You love it.”

  I laughed as he walked away.

  I couldn’t help but watch Natalie as she drove her car. The windows were down, and her hair was flying around her as she smiled at the road. Her excitement was contagious.

  “I can’t believe how good she’s running,” she said as her car accelerated on the highway.

  I didn’t respond. I just relaxed in my seat and turned my gaze toward the road ahead.

  “So, we should talk or something. How long will this trip be?” Natalie asked, peeking over at me as she drove.

  “It’s only about forty-five minutes. What do you want to talk about?”

  She rubbed her lips together, and I knew she was trying to pick something safe to talk about.

  “How has work been?” I asked, trying to help her out.

  She smiled and tucked some hair behind her ear right before it flew out again. “I actually just moved up to the VIP section.”

  I nodded my head, looking impressed. That was good, especially since she’d just started working at Red. “Nice.”

  “Yeah, I was really surprised. And that means I can get my own place sooner than I’d planned.”

  I nodded. “Looks like things are coming together for you out here.”

  She grinned and bit her bottom lip, trying to hide her smile. It made my dick twitch in my pants.

  About forty-five minutes later, Natalie and I were pulling into the parking lot at Busch Gardens. Her eyes were wide as she watched the cars on the roller coasters whizzing by. Just as I’d assumed, she’d never been to an amusement park before.

  “You expect me to get on one of those?” she asked as she got out of the car and stared at the towering roller coaster in front of us.

  “Absolutely. Why wouldn’t you?” I shut the passenger door and made my way over to her.

  “Uh…because I value my life.”

  I scoffed. “Oh, please.”

  “I’m serious! I’m not getting on one of those.”

  She pointed up to the roller coaster just as another car went plummeting down the steep slope, and people’s screams echoed through the air around us.

  “Okay, how about we make a deal?”

  Natalie dropped her arm, and her eyes narrowed. “What kind of deal?”

  “If you try one roller coaster—I mean, really try to enjoy it—we can do whatever you want tomorrow.”

  She studied my face, and I could see her wheels turning.

  “Whatever I want?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  Natalie’s eyes went back to the roller coaster, and she took a deep breath before blowing it out. “Fuck. Okay, I’ll do it.”

  “Holy shit! What am I doing?” Natalie yelled.

  We were sitting on the Alpengeist, waiting for it to move. Our feet were dangling in the air below us, and her hands were gripping the harness over her chest so tightly that her knuckles were white.

  “It’s okay, Killer. Take a deep breath. Isn’t this what you wanted? A fun and adventurous new life, right?” I asked.

  She looked over at me with fear in her eyes. Giving me a small smile, she took a deep breath. “I can do this,” she said to herself as she loosened her grip.

  Just then, the floor dropped away, and the car started moving. Her grip automatically tightened again, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

  “You’ve got this, Killer!” I yelled to her as we started making our climb to the top of the first slope.

  She peeked her eyes open and looked down at the ground getting farther and farther away. She looked determined, and then she took another deep breath before meeting my gaze. “Fuck all the bullshit,” she muttered.

  I smiled. “Fuck all the bullshit!” I yelled.

  She let out a nervous laugh.

  We locked eyes, and then we fell—fast.

  She screamed so loud on that first drop of the Alpengeist but as the ride went on, she started to let go. I watched as her face lost its tension, and her smile turned genuine. It was amazing to see. She laughed when we did spins and went upside down, her hair flying behind her.

  Something happened to me on that ride. It was something I never wanted to admit.

  I was falling in love with Natalie.

  I’d gotten on every roller coaster at that park, and I’d loved them all. I’d had the time of my life today. I’d conquered my fears, and I had Shaun to thank for it. When I’d first met him, I’d had no idea he would help bring me back to life.

  We were back in my car and on our way home. Shaun was driving this time, and I was leaned back in my seat with my feet propped up on the dashboard. It was dark, and the night air felt amazing as it swept in through the windows. I couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

  I knew the drive would take a while, so I decided to take advantage of the time we had together. “Can I ask you something?”

  Shaun looked at me and smiled before facing the road again. “You can ask me anything, Killer. I’m an open book.”

  “Why did you get that tattoo on your back?”

  Shaun glanced at me for a second before answering, “I got it for my mom. She passed away when I was a kid.”

  I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

  Our eyes met for a second before we both turned to watch the road ahead.

  “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I got the tat when I was eighteen. My dad’s family is Irish. That’s why I got a Celtic cross. I actually drove to Miami to get it done. I wanted to make sure it was perfect.”

  “It’s a beautiful tattoo.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Do you plan to get any more?”

  Shaun lifted his shoulder before letting it drop. “I dunno. Maybe. I know they say tattoos are addictive, but I need something important enough to put on my skin forever before I’ll get another one.”

  “What about surfing?” I pulled my hair back and tied it into a ponytail.

  “What should I get? A surfboard tattooed on my ass?” Shaun asked, chuckling.

  I grinned. “Good point.”

  “Okay, my turn,” Shaun announced as he looked over his shoulder before merging onto the highway.

  My body tensed as I waited to hear his question.

  “Hmm…l
et me think of something good.” He pursed his lips and tapped the steering wheel with his index finger.

  I smiled, but I was secretly praying he wouldn’t ask anything too personal.

  “How did you lose your virginity?” he asked with a sly grin.

  He probably thought that would be a safe question, maybe even embarrassing or funny. Just the mention of my virginity brought me back to that place—that dirty small bathroom where I’d watched myself scrub what was left of my innocence from my legs.

  The atmosphere in the car changed when I didn’t respond, and I rubbed my lips together, contemplating what to tell him. I wanted to be honest with him because I knew I could. After all, we were friends. But my hands were sweating, and I could feel the nerves building in my gut when the words formed in my mind.

  Shaun looked at me, and I knew he could tell I was trying to decide what to say. He was probably waiting to see if I’d be honest with him or feed him bullshit.

  Taking a deep breath, I decided to tackle another fear. For the first time, I was going to tell someone what had really happened to me. “I don’t remember. I mean, I was really drunk, and I think I blacked out. I remember being alone with a guy. When I woke up the next morning, my virginity was lost.” I let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Not exactly the fairy tale you were expecting, right?”

  Shaun’s jaw clenched, and he looked at me for a few seconds before moving his gaze back to the road. His grip tightened on the steering wheel before he took a deep breath and blew it out. “You’ve never told anyone, have you?”

  I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep control of my emotions. Telling Shaun this secret I’d held on to for so long had all of those old feelings creeping up on me again. I thought I had moved past them, but maybe I had just buried them deep inside me with everything else.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you,” he said as his eyes met mine again.

  I had to look away before he saw how much those words meant. That one sentence felt like a balm to my aching heart. Somehow, he had known to say the one thing I’d needed to hear for so long.

  We were silent for a while before I composed myself.

  I shrugged, trying to make light of it. “It’s in the past. Shit happens, right?”

  Shaun gave me a small smile, but I could tell he was still upset from hearing my confession.

  I decided to try to change the subject. “So, how about you? Did you have sex with your babysitter or something?”

  Shaun chuckled and loosened his grip on the steering wheel. “No. You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  That got me curious. I raised my eyebrows and turned in my seat to face him. “Try me.”

  He smirked and peered over at me. “I lost my virginity in a threesome. I was a freshman, and they were seniors.”

  My mouth dropped open as I gawked at him. “Are you serious?”

  He didn’t respond. He just looked at me.

  “Wow. That’s impressive.”

  Shaun laughed.

  “No wonder you’re so cocky.”

  Natalie and I talked the entire trip home. I learned that she loved photography. She’d wanted to go to college to study it, but she hadn’t been able to because her mom had left her with her little sister when she just turned eighteen. It was surprising to me how she had sacrificed her own happiness and dreams. And the fact that she had been raped and never told anyone made me realize that she was a lot stronger and more guarded than I’d thought. It meant a lot to me that she trusted me enough to share her secrets.

  “So, what’s your dream?” Natalie asked.

  I took the exit toward Virginia Beach. “My dream?”

  “Yeah. What’s the one thing you wish you could do that you aren’t doing now?”

  I thought about it for a second, contemplating if I should tell her about my surfboard designs. I figured since she’d been so honest with me, I should do the same.

  “I’d love to travel the world and surf. Maybe sell some of my designs, so I could afford it.”

  “Designs?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got some ideas for surfboards. It’s nothing crazy, just a few variations on what’s already out there. I’ve been working on them for a few years.”

  “Really? That’s cool. Have you tried selling them to anyone?”

  I shook my head as I drove Natalie’s car toward her apartment building. “Nah.”

  “Well, why not?”

  “I don’t know. I just haven’t.”

  “I call bullshit.”

  My eyes went to hers, and my eyebrows drew together.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s bullshit. You’re scared.”

  “Scared of what?”

  “I don’t know. Rejection? Failure?”

  I sighed as I leaned back in my seat. “What about you? What are you so scared of?”

  Natalie looked confused. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, why aren’t you a photographer? Why didn’t you ever go back to school?”

  “I’m not scared. I just couldn’t go. School is expensive, and I—”

  “Just got a raise?” I said, interrupting her.

  Natalie’s mouth snapped shut, and she turned to look out the windshield as we approached her building. “Fine.”

  I looked at her, and she smirked.

  “I’ll enroll in some photography classes if you show Marcus your designs. I’m sure he could help you sell them.”

  I shook my head.

  “Come on, don’t be a pussy.”

  “I’m not being a pussy. It’s got nothing to do with being scared.”

  “Prove it then.”

  I pulled Natalie’s Mustang into an empty spot next to my Jetta and parked it. She had me, and we both knew it.

  “Fine. If you enroll in school, I’ll show Marcus my designs.”

  Her face brightened with a smile, and I couldn’t help but grin back. I’d do almost anything to see that smile.

  “Well, a deal’s a deal. So, what are we doing tomorrow?” I asked her as we unfastened our seat belts.

  “We’re going on a photo shoot.”

  What? “We are?”

  “Yep. And you’re going to be my model.” She gave me her sexy smile. “Make sure you’re here bright and early. We don’t want to miss the good light,” she told me as she opened her door.

  She got out of the car, and I followed.

  “Oh, and you can help me look for a new apartment!” she said, her face lighting up with excitement.

  That didn’t sound like much fun. “Don’t you want Nick or someone else to go with you? I have surf lessons, remember?”

  Natalie put her hand on her hip. “No. Nick has to work, and you said you’d do anything I want, so you’re coming. I can go to the surf lesson with you.”

  I let my head fall back as I groaned. “Fine.”

  She laughed before coming to stand in front of me. I tilted my head down to look at her, and she got up on her toes before wrapping her arms around the back of my neck, our faces only inches apart.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make it worth your while,” she whispered before leaning forward and taking my mouth with hers.

  Her warm, soft lips pressed against mine, and I let my hands slide into her hair as I opened my mouth and slipped my tongue inside. Natalie pulled me in closer, pressing her tits against me, and I could feel my dick responding. Our kiss grew more passionate, and I turned her so that her back was on the side of her car while I was pressed to her front. She moaned into my mouth when I moved my hips forward, so she could feel how aroused I was.

  Natalie broke our kiss and smiled up at me. “Tomorrow,” she whispered.

  Then, she pushed me back and left me standing there.

  I woke up the next morning, excited to start the day. Pulling out my old camera, I put it down beside my purse and went searching for rolls of film. I guessed I’d better invest in a digital one soon if I was going to start taking classes.

  Ju
st the thought of attempting to chase my dream had my heart beating faster in my chest. It was like being on a roller coaster all over again.

  Shaun came to pick me up at seven, and we went straight to the beach. I spent the entire morning surfing with him and then taking pictures. I made him pose for me with his surfboard. I also got a few of him in the water, the bright sun above him making his wet skin glisten in its light. His eyes looked so captivating and seductive. He could easily work as a model if he wanted to. When I told him that, he just gave me one of his sexy grins and winked.

  After the surf lessons, we decided to grab some lunch and shower before looking for an apartment.

  “You could move into my building. That way, we wouldn’t have to drive anywhere when we wanted a booty call,” Shaun said, teasing me, as we threw away our trash from lunch.

  “Hmm…” I moved my hand to my chin and pretended to think about it. “You might have to show me your apartment again, so I can check it out.”

  Shaun aimed his sunglasses in my direction, and I saw his brows rise above them.

  “I can do that.”

  Shaun and I showered together in his bathroom. I used his manly smelling soap on my body and cheap two-in-one shampoo in my hair. We laughed and joked around as we tried washing ourselves, and we fought over our spot in the water.

  It wasn’t until I began rinsing off that the mood changed. I felt Shaun move in behind me as I stood under the stream, rinsing my hair. His hands came around to cup my breasts, and his hard dick pressed against my back. He took his time, letting his hands glide over my wet skin, like he was exploring me for the first time. Shaun used his fingers to make me come, staying silent the entire time. My heavy breathing, moaning, and whimpers were the only sounds.

  Something was different. There was no rush or urgency. It felt like Shaun was savoring every second. After I came down from my orgasm, he turned off the water and took my hand, pulling me out of the bathtub. I laughed when he took a towel, tossed it over my head, and started drying my hair. When he was done, he took my hand again and led me into his room.

  My heart was beating faster in my chest. I was nervous. I could feel myself falling, and I was afraid of what might break when I did.