A Song in the Rain

by Lydia Deyes

  We snuck around to the other side of camp, and I knew we were in the right place. I could see about thirty cages, each with an animal locked inside. I asked those with me to begin releasing the prisoners while I searched for Amery. I passed many cages and animals. I saw a raccoon, goose, and groundhog; a squirrel, eagle, and two ferrets; a crow, wood mouse, and the fox with the broken leg. Finally, I saw a sparrow, all alone and forlorn. Amery.

  Now, I could feel the battle raging around us. The ground was shaking with attacks and counter-attacks. I looked around and saw blood beginning to spread. We were losing, and fast. We were far outranked by the massive packs of wolves. As quickly as I could, I rushed to the cage that held my friend and undid the latch with my beak. It was only a small cage, and the slits weren’t even wide enough for a juvenile bird to slip through.

  Amery looked up at me with wide eyes as she realized she was free from her cramped quarters. She looked terrible. Her feathers were ripped and broken, and a dark line of blood stained the corner of her mouth.

  “I’m sorry,” I told her. “I’m sorry about everything. I’m here now.”

  We turned to exit the narrow compartment, but a shadow darkened the exit. Before me, the black wolf suddenly materialized out of the shadows… somehow looking even darker and meaner than ever. How had he known I’d be here?

  I felt the rumbling in the air as Nivek growled. I was terrified, but I refused to let him get Amery. I wouldn’t let him hurt her anymore. I faced my fear and stepped in front of her.

  “It’s me you want,” I said. “Take me. But leave her alone.”

  The wolf growled again, the hair on his back spiking. I felt the rush of air on my feathers as he bared his teeth and snarled, but I still refused to back away. “Leave her alone,” I repeated. “Take me. You don’t need her anymore.”

  Nivek seemed to growl again, but there was no vibration. Nothing came out. He seemed slightly confused, as if he was fighting something from within. “I’ve never seen…” he muttered, the rumblings of his voice thinner, weaker. He shook himself and regained his threatening posture. It was too late, though. I’d seen him crack.

  Could he really be saved from the evil inside him, just like Spike and Nyoka?

  “Why are you doing this, Nivek?” I prodded. He growled and reset his stance.

  Perhaps, I thought, Nivek is the name he adopted after the darkness took over. Maybe if I used his other name, this would be easier.

  “Finsternis, I know you’re in there somewhere. Don’t let the darkness control you. Don’t become Nivek for all of eternity.”

  The wolf seemed troubled, so I pushed forward. “Why did you murder your father? Your brother?”

  He shook himself again, as if trying to toss away the thought. I was going in the right direction. “Why did you, Finsternis? For power? Is that really worth their lives?”

  “Enough!” he shouted. Suddenly, he tensed up and made to strike.

  Afraid for Amery — not myself, for the first time — I instinctively spread my wings to shield her from his attack.

  In an instant, the scarred wolf’s composure changed. His open maw clamped shut, he sheathed his claw and slowly lowered his paw to the ground.

  “You… you think of her, when you’re about to die. I… I was weak.”

  I was stunned by what had just happened, but regained my composure. I couldn’t let this opportunity go. “Is that why you killed them?”

  “I was weak. I didn’t stand up to him. I gave in to what I wanted.”

  “There’s still time to change, Finsternis. You can pull yourself from the hold of darkness.”

  “It’s too late,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t save them now.”

  “You can honor them by changing.”

  “Do you think… do you think they would forgive me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you? Do you forgive me?”

  I hesitated, then nodded. “Yes, I do.” In that moment, I knew Finsternis had been saved from the darkness. I didn’t understand how it had happened. Nothing I had said had helped; nothing I’d done had convinced him. Was it just because I’d attempted to shield Amery from further harm, without regard for my own safety?

  The vibrating ground jolted me back to my senses. Finsternis may have stopped fighting, but the battle still raged on. “Please,” I addressed the wolf, “we need to stop the fighting, and quickly!”

  Without a word, the black wolf turned and rushed out to spread the news that he no longer wished to continue the fight. He was no longer under the influence of the darkness that had held so firmly onto not only him, but Spike and Nyoka as well.

  Soon, the battle ended. We buried the dead, mostly members of my army, and treated the wounded. I made sure Amery was well taken care of. Then I stayed with Anna until the last of the animals had been cared for. It was a nice feeling, to be helping again. When everyone had dispersed, it was evening, and I decided to speak with Finsternis. His figure was still menacing and sent shivers of fear down my spine. The scar across the left side of his face and his dark, shadowy composure would never fade, but I knew he was no longer a threat. I had some questions without answers, and I hoped he’d be able to help.

  I found him by the river, looking up forlornly at the waxing moon. “The moon, she is so lonely, don’t you think?” he asked when I came near.

  “Yeah.” We sat there for quite some time, looking silently up at the sky. After a while, I cleared my throat. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ve had visions, dreams, of you with someone else. He had a strange, deep voice, but I was never able to identify the speaker or even see him. Who is he? What is he?”

  “Oh.” The wolf paused. “That… would be Nivek.”

  I stared, confused. “What? I thought you were Nivek.”

  “No, you were mistaken, Sheer.” He drew circles in the air with his paw. “Nivek is… well, he doesn't have a form. He’s not really a he, either. It’s this horrible mass of dark spirits that compelled me to do things that were far beyond how I’d normally act. Sure, I was jealous of my father and wanted his position of power, but I would never have killed him on my own. And my brother… that was all Nivek’s work. I’d never have gone that far.”

  “Oh,” was all I could say.

  The wolf looked down at his paws. “Were there others? You know, like me? Others that Nivek controlled?”

  “Yes, two. Nyoka — she’s a rat, but he… it… made her transform herself into a snake and enslave dozens of animals in an unnatural form. The darkness gave her powers, but more than she ever wanted. Spike, the old crow, was affected, too. He was driven to mania. He slaughtered birds and used their blood to revive terrible Beasts, and unleashed crows and bears to attack the thirteenth floor. At least in that battle, we were a little better matched than against your packs…”

  “Yeah,” the wolf replied. “Sorry about that.”

  “They’ve both joined our side now, you know. In fact, I trust them to be commanders. Nyoka trained and led the reptiles, amphibians, and small mammals. Spike commanded the predator birds.”

  “That’s good,” Finsternis said, looking up at the sky again.

  After a moment, one more burning question forced its way out. “What’s it like?” I asked. “To be controlled by the evil spirits?”

  “Terrible,” he replied. “Terrible, and cold.”

  Shroud

  XLIV

  After the battle in the valley, only the darkness remained in my dreams. The shroud was no longer mysterious; thanks to Finsternis, I knew it was Nivek. I shivered when I thought of the formless mass of dark spirits that had possessed the rat-snake, crow, and wolf. Worse, Malvador was out there somewhere… and if Kevin was right, the shadow vulture and evil spirits were working together.

  Where is Kevin, anyway?

  I turned to Amery. After rescuing her, I’d told her everything. She knew I’d lost my powers; she knew about the plant
I’d abused. She knew I’d eaten my fill even when everyone else was living on measly rations. But was there something she was hiding? “Amery,” I asked her, “have you seen Kevin lately?”

  “No,” she replied. “I thought he was with you.”

  I thought for a bit, trying to remember exactly when I’d last talked to him, but I couldn’t quite place it. “I haven’t seen him in several days,” I said, settling on something more vague.

  Amery shrugged her wings. “I mean, I haven’t either, but that’s no surprise.”

  “How so?”

  “I haven’t seen either of you much lately, Sheer. You spent entire days with him, away from me. How would I know where he went? He’s your friend.” Her response spiked anger in me; her answer wasn’t satisfying. I knew she had something to do with this. I didn’t know how, but I knew. “Why’d you chase him off?”

  “What?”

  “I know you did. Why else would he have left?” Why was she arguing with me?

  Amery shook her head. “I didn’t…”

  I gripped the branch tightly in my claws. “You’re lying.”

  “I’m not lying, Sheer! Maybe I was jealous you were spending time with him, maybe I didn’t like the influence he had on you, but I’d never send him away. He’s your friend. Besides, even if I’d wanted to, do you really think he would’ve listened to me? Do you even remember what happened last time I tried to stand up to him? You were there. You saw how he attacked me.”

  My anger and frustration grew so intense, dark thoughts flitted through my mind. I imagined lashing out at her, hurting her so she could feel the same pain I felt as I missed my friend. But then I remembered how the wolf had hurt her, and I turned away. I didn’t want to argue with her, after all she’d been through, but I knew she was wrong. There was no other explanation.

  Suddenly, my head surged with too-familiar pain. “You’re mine,” a deep voice resonated in my head. Now I knew it as Nivek’s. It was the same voice that had spoken to the wolf in my nightmares. “You’ll never escape or conquer me,” it said. “I’m in your very mind, and you can never shake me from it.” My head seared, and I wondered vaguely where Kevin was as I fell to the ground.

  I needed his help, but it didn’t come. Instead, the pain only intensified. “You have one more chance to surrender,” the voice echoed. It was like multiple voices were speaking all at once. “If you fail again, you will suffer.” I arched my back in pain, unable to move, unable to resist. Nivek was trying to control me. So far, he was succeeding. Everything went dark.

  ◆◆◆

  When I woke, I smelled smoke. I sat up.

  The pain in my head had dulled, but I was sure Nivek was still there.

  How had he taken over so easily? Where is Kevin, now that I need him more than ever?

  I looked around and examined my surroundings. I was in my familiar nest near the river. Amery was nowhere to be found.

  My eyes stung, and the thick odor of smoke made me cough. It reminded me of my first memory, of the first time I woke up in this world. How could I have forgotten the strange, magical fire that had nearly ended my life in the beginning? And now, I realized, Nivek had made true to his word. The forest was being burned… or had been burned, at least. I saw no open flames, which was odd. How had I slept through all of this?

  The closer I got to center camp, the greater the devastation. All around me, slain animals lay dead on the forest floor. I choked on the smoke.

  I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the stinging, but my vision didn’t fade. Is this a dream? A gentle wind blew past me, whisking away the horrid scents of fire and death. It whispered to me. Not with words, nor with any sound at all. I didn’t know how to describe it, but somehow I could understand it. I remembered the dream I’d had so long ago, back on the thirteenth floor. The dream where I’d sung to the wind.

  “If you seek calm and freedom from your bondage,” it whispered in my head, “follow us.” As soon as it was finished, the wind carried me away at incredible speed. Landscapes rushed past me; the forest below was no more than a dark green blur. The dark western cliffs rose swiftly as I approached. “Here,” it said. “Here is your destiny. Here is your peace.”

  The wind took me swiftly through the steep crags, and ahead I could see a dark cave. Darker, even, than the cave of smoke to the north, where I’d lost nearly all of my friends. It slowed as I approached the entrance. Deep inside, I thought I could see a pair of eyes glinting in the pulsing darkness. It seemed like the shroud from my visions was condensed here, looming in the depths of the cave.

  Once more, I heard the deep voice in my head. “Surrender now, or you will suffer.” Then the image was gone. I woke up, panting, and was back in my nest. I blinked in the light of dawn, and sunlight sparkled off the first frost. When I sniffed the air, there was no sign of smoke. It had all been a dream.

  I didn’t know what to make of the dream. Was the wind truly trying to help me, or was it a ploy of Nivek’s? His voice had interjected with the whispers of the breeze. Had he sent the vision? One thing I knew for sure: I needed to go to the dark cliffs. Perhaps there, I’d be able to defeat Nivek once and for all and restore peace to the land. Perhaps there, I’d find my true calling… if Kevin was right, and surrendering myself was the option that had the greatest possible return. Either way, Nivek was waiting. I could sort out truth from lie along the way.

  Amery popped into view, her eyes full of concern. “Are you alright?”

  I knew she meant my physical health, as I’d collapsed from pain before, but how could I explain what was really happening? The dull ache in my head reminded me that Nivek had forced himself in, and I had no idea how to push him out again. I’d divulged all my secrets to her, but this one was different. Would she still trust me if she knew?

  Rage and hatred for Nivek boiled inside me. I hated him for destroying everyone I loved. I hated him for infiltrating my mind, giving me these headaches, and incapacitating me with his threats. I closed my eyes.

  Once I kill him, then everything will go back to normal.

  I could almost taste the sweet satisfaction of justice and victory. I latched on to my hatred, knowing Nivek would never fuel this kind of desire. He wanted me to surrender, and instigating my lust for his destruction had the opposite effect.

  Determined to be off, I turned to Amery. To my surprise, a shadow crossed over her face. She started to speak, but my vision suddenly blurred. It only resolved once she’d finished speaking. For some reason, Nivek must not have wanted me to know what she was saying. It made me curious, but I dismissed it. I needed to focus on my task.

  “I’m leaving,” I said plainly. “It’s not safe for you, or anyone else here, if I stay. I had a dream that called me to the western cliffs, and that’s where I’m going to go.”

  Amery blinked, then stood up straight and looked me in the eyes. “I’m coming with you.”

  “What? No. It’s too dangerous. You should leave me, and leave this place. Go where Nivek can’t find you anymore. If you come with me… he will know.”

  “I don’t care if I’m safe,” she replied. “You need me.”

  I stared. Did I need her? Whether I did or not, the determination in her eyes told me I had no chance of convincing her otherwise. “Fine,” I said. “But we need to go soon, before Nivek attacks again. I’ll tell the commanders we’re leaving and make sure they disperse the camp. I don’t know where they’ll go, but with Finsternis, Spike, and Nyoka to guide them, and Anna to care for them, I’m sure they will be okay.”

  “No, I’ll tell them. I just think it might be easier that way. Since, you know…”

  I knew she meant my inability to hear, but it also occurred to me that the commanders might inquire of where they should go. I didn’t want Nivek to have any idea where they went to, and anything I knew, he would know, too. “Okay. I’ll wait for you on the western border of our territory, by the food stores. Don’t take too long.”

  “I won’t.”


  I watched as she left for center camp. By now, the communal breakfast would be ending. My stomach churned, and I remembered I hadn’t had anything to eat yet. I flew off towards the western border, deeper into the woods. The shadows darkened, and so did my thoughts.

  XLV

  Amery and I set off toward the dark western cliffs when the sun was high in the sky, shining through the mist. We would be able to stay on track by following the river, at least for a while. I avoided looking at her. Each time I did, a muted feeling of anger pushed its way to the surface. Now, I was sure the feeling was caused by Nivek, if only because I didn’t think I had a good reason to feel angry towards her, myself. It was nearly impossible to tell the difference between Nivek’s thoughts and my own, which scared me. I didn’t want to do something harmful to her, fueled by his anger.

  What if I let my guard down? What if I attack her in my sleep or blurt out hurtful words?

  I was stung, thinking of how many times I’d already done just that. Kevin and I had made fun of her, to the point of cruelty, and she’d just taken it without a word. I wondered how much I’d hurt her.

  My head throbbed, and I knew Nivek wasn’t pleased with my thoughts. My anger surged again, but this time, against him. How long would I have to put up with his presence in my mind? I wondered how strong Nivek really was, and what it would take to break this bond.

  The pain in my head intensified, and I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I tried to think of something else. Turning my attention to the cliffs far ahead, which were just barely visible above the tree canopies, I wondered how long it would take to get to our destination. It seemed like the forest went on forever before it even came close to that barren wasteland. Why had Nivek chosen such a desolate place? Nothing should be able to live out there, not even a powerful mass of evil spirits. Unless the land was only barren and dark because of his presence…