The Blue Edge of Midnight

by Jonathon King

  “Assholes,” he said, not elaborating on who he was giving the title to and letting it sit wide ranging. “How’re ya, boy?” he finally said.

  When I tried to answer, I couldn’t get even a croak through the novocaine-like block. My right hand went again to the left side of my neck, a movement that was already imprinted in my postsurgical psyche.

  “A through and through,” he said, nodding his head to the right.

  “Punk kid threw a .22 at you before you got off the knockdown. The EMS guys said the slug went straight through muscle, missed the windpipe and the carotid artery.”

  He told me how the slug had passed through my neck leaving an entrance wound as clean as a paper punch. The exit wound was twice as large and raggedy. The lead had then pucked into the brick façade of the Thirteenth Street Cleaners, chunking out a thimble-sized hole with spatters of Max Freeman’s blood around it.

  “Fuckin’ kid was a real sharpshooter,” he said before catching the look in my eye. Keith was like the majority of cops in Philadelphia and on every department in the country. In twenty-five years he had never pulled his gun in the line of duty. If the department hadn’t instituted a mandatory range qualification a few years back, the rounds in his old-style revolver would still be rusted in the chamber. But he had seen the results of shootings. He’d known officers who had killed and seen them change. Nobody took it without changing.

  “Both of ’em DOS,” he said. “Crime scene guys bagged them right on the sidewalk.”

  He hesitated, looking away.

  “Twelve and sixteen years old. Both from North Philly. Down doing Center City for the night.”

  He went on how the newspapers and radio talk shows were already howling about their new discovery this month that kids were carrying guns. He said a witness across the street on Chestnut was screaming that I took the first shot, cut the kid down without a warning. He said Internal Affairs had my gun and would be all over the shooting investigation, but being wounded and all, I didn’t have to worry.

  He was talking, but I had only been hearing, not listening. My eyes had gone to the ceiling again, my right hand to the bandage on my neck.

  I must have been forty strokes shy of the landing at Thompson’s Point when the spotlight beams hit me full in the face. I had covered the last mile and a half in nearly thirty minutes and had kept a consistent seventy strokes a minute the entire time. My gray T-shirt was black with sweat and I had worked through a stitch in my side that had started stabbing me after the first fifteen minutes.

  I kept cranking into the light when a voice called out and two more cones of light swung onto me. I never slowed, just kept the rhythm until I felt the bottom of my canoe hit the boat ramp gravel.

  “Shoot fire, Max! Slow down, boy!”

  Cleve Wilson’s was the first face I could make out as he walked down the ramp to greet me.

  “We was just about to head up your way,” he said with an uncharacteristic hitch in his voice and cutting his eyes to either side of the dock.

  Shaking the sweat out of my eyes I brought the rest of the five-person ramp party into focus. There were four men and a woman. Two of the men were thick in the chest and waist and were dressed in the brown uniform of the Florida Highway Patrol. The other two seemed thin, and both were dressed in canvas pants and oxford shirts rolled up at the sleeves. The younger one cursed in Spanish when the river water lapped up onto his loafers.

  The woman was as tall as the other four and I picked up the glint of blond hair in the flashlight beam, but averted my eyes. The night was already full of too much memory. I didn’t want to think about the rattle that that wisp of hair put into my heart.

  I looked back at Cleve and registered the hesitation in his face. I was already trying to figure out how they’d already heard about the child’s body when he started in.

  “We was just heading up to the dam,” he said. “These folks got some sort of tip that there might be some kind of clue to an investigation they got going.”

  Cleve was putting on his old Florida Cracker voice, the one he’d used with me for the first month I knew him. It was his way of gathering intelligence, by hiding his own and letting others mistakenly try to send things over his head. He was about to make introductions when the oxford shirts did it on their own.

  Detectives Mark Hammonds and Vincente Diaz, county sheriff’s investigators on a joint task force with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. When Hammonds stepped up he used the practiced firm handshake of a businessman and the old interviewer’s trick of staring straight into your eyes like he could see the truth hanging back in there where you couldn’t hide it. I’d used the look myself many times. I held his gaze until he flinched, then I took half a step back. Hammonds was the kind who made sure you knew he was in charge without using the words. He was a thin man in his fifties, tired around the eyes, but he squared his shoulders and like so many in his position seemed to will himself to appear bigger.

  Diaz was quicker with the handshake. He was a clean-cut, young-looking Hispanic and couldn’t help himself from being amiable. If cops had junior executives, he would be it. Eager to learn, eager to please. He had big, white, square teeth and even though he tried, he couldn’t keep from smiling a little bit.

  The woman refused to step closer to the riverbank and when Hammonds introduced her as a Detective Richards from Fort Lauderdale, I too kept my ground. We nodded our acquaintance. She stood with her arms folded as if she were cold, even on a night when the air was hanging warm and gauzy at the water’s edge. Her perfume drifted by on a swirl of river wind and seemed distinctly out of place. When I turned to talk to the others I could feel her eyes on my back.

  “So somebody already called this in?” I finally said, directing the question to Cleve while I bent to pull my canoe higher up on the ramp.

  “Called what in?” Hammonds said.

  “You’ve got a crime scene out there,” I said but I could tell immediately that even though it wasn’t unexpected news, it still caught all of them hard. Hammonds’ lips went tight together and Diaz winced. I felt the woman take an instinctive step closer.

  “What kind of scene, Mr. Freeman?” Hammonds said.

  “A dead child. Wrapped up. Just above the dam.”

  Cleve was the only one in the group that registered any true shock.

  “Jesus, Max,” he said, looking at the faces around him.

  “Let’s get a team out here,” Hammonds said to no one in particular as he looked out over the water, his block chin tipped up into the air.

  CHAPTER 3

  Within an hour they knew what I knew and I was left guessing. That’s the way conversations go with good investigators. Even in supposedly friendly interviews. You answer their questions, offer your observations, try to be cooperative. They nod their heads, encourage the dialogue, make nice, and give you squat. By the time you walk away you feel like your pockets are empty and you just made a really bad deal with a door-to-door salesman. No wonder lawyers tell you to just say no and close the door.

  The only line I’d been able to read between their questioning was that this wasn’t the first kid they’d found. There had been others. I couldn’t tell how many or where. I also knew I was a suspect. The first person who comes across the body in a homicide always is. I didn’t have to be told not to leave the state.

  In two hours a crime scene truck was parked on the boat ramp and Cleve was loading up his park service Boston Whaler. Hammonds had decided not to wait for daylight. Cleve had tied a spare canoe to the stern cleat. In this high water, and with his knowledge of the river, he could get them up to the dam. From there they would have to take the other boat up to the body. Hammonds, Diaz and two others climbed into the Whaler and Cleve started it up with a rumble, got the men to cast off his lines and then chunked it into gear and slowly motored out onto the river.

  The woman detective stayed at the ramp, talking to two crime scene technicians and into a cell phone at the same time. When sh
e finally snapped the portable shut and took a step toward me, I stood up from my interview spot on the dock and gave her my back.

  “I’m going home,” I said over my shoulder, waiting for an objection that never came.

  I dragged my canoe into the water. Out to the west I could see Cleve’s portable spotlight flickering in the mangroves. I’d be far behind. As I pushed out and settled in for a first stroke, I stole a look over my shoulder and saw the woman standing back, four feet from the water line, arms crossed over her chest, following me with her eyes.

  As I paddled, the knots in my shoulders from the hours of sitting and answering questions started to work themselves out. It was still a good hour from sunrise. The river was now unnaturally quiet. I could pick up the low undulations of Cleve’s outboard even though they had to be a mile ahead. But the motorboat’s passing at this hour had effectively turned off the millions of live sounds along the banks and in the thick mangrove islands. The frogs and insects had shut up, wary of the man- made noise and movement, and fallen into the survival cover of silence. I’d interrupted their natural rhythm with my nightly paddling. But as I’d learned to smooth my passage, and perhaps as the river world got accustomed to my months of slapping through the night, it had simply adapted. Even the lower species do that.

  I got back into my own rhythm: a reach, a pull through, finish with a light kick. A soft slurring of black water. I was grinding again. The dead child’s face was in my head, mixing with the kid on a Philadelphia sidewalk. The FDLE team would have to spend some time up at the scene. But what were their options other than recovery? You couldn’t cordon off a river. And despite the overblown tales of forensics, you weren’t going to lift prints from the trees.

  But I knew they’d pass right by the old stilted research shack I was living in, and while the weathered, hundred-year- old Florida pine construction caused the place to nearly disappear into the cypress forest, I wondered if they would squeeze the location out of Cleve. Would he swing them up through the overgrown channel to my porch? Would they rummage through the place without a warrant like I had done myself not so many years ago as a cop? It was illegal, but when we knew we had a chance to find evidence on some mope and wanted either to find something to convince us or find something to clear him and get him off the list, we did it. It was called efficiency in the face of urgency. Sometimes people, even the innocent, get used.

  If they found something that took me off their list it would be a relief, but the idea of Hammonds sorting through my cabin caused me to pick up the tempo and I started driving the canoe hard.

  By the time I reached the entrance to the forested section of the river, the first hint of dawn was peeling back the darkness in the eastern sky. But only a dozen or so strokes into the cypress canopy the air went wet and thick and too dark for the uninitiated. The FDLE crew must have started questioning their decision not to wait for daylight the minute they motored up into this blackness. A man can adjust, but can never be natural in such a place. He has genetically bypassed it, developed different sight, hearing and scent. But like someone only partially blind, I could make it back through my neighborhood by reading the unseen landmarks, feeling the current, the swirl of eddies, the familiar pools.

  A half mile in I slowed at the pond apple outcrop, felt for the slight shift in water drifting west, and let it lead me. Two column-like cypress trees marked my entryway. A shallow- water entrance took me back fifty yards off the main river to a small dock platform. From there, steps climbed up to my back door. There was no one in sight. Not an unnatural sound save my own.

  I looped a line from the dock around the bow seat and climbed out onto the landing. Then I bent to the first step of the staircase and under the glint of dawn looked carefully for a pattern in the moisture. No careless feet. The surface was undisturbed. Shortly after I’d moved in here, a friend suggested I hook up some kind of alarm system. He was convinced I’d be the target for uninvited explorers and bone-headed adventurers who might think that any cabin this remote belonged to anyone who could find it. I thought about it, but after several months of being here, I dismissed the idea. By listening and absorbing every sound, I reasoned, I would hear anyone sloshing and grunting and disturbing the flow of the place.

  If I wasn’t here, an alarm system wasn’t going to stop anyone with an intent to break in anyway. It wasn’t your typical neighborhood. Who was going to come running if an alarm went off? And even if someone broke in, there was little inside of value to take.

  The cabin had been built at the turn of the century by a rich Palm Beach industrialist who used it as a vacation hunting lodge. It was abandoned in the 1950s and then rediscovered by scientists, who, bent on mapping the patterns of moving water in the Everglades, used it as a research station. When their grants dried up it was abandoned again. When the stock market and the economy tumbled in the oil crisis of the 1970s, the family that held deed to it put it on the market. The friend who set me up in it didn’t go into its ownership. He simply arranged to collect $1,000 a month from my investment portfolio, and paid the bill.

  I didn’t argue the price. In the odd way of the world, the shooting in Philadelphia had left me with both damage and opportunity.

  For ten days after my shooting on Chestnut Street I’d been silent, unable to get words through my swollen throat. Then I faked my inability to speak for another week.

  The media stir that buzzed with the deaths of two boys quickly moved on to the next video disaster they could spin up onto the six o’clock news. Officers I worked with or had been friendly with called me to see how I was and to say that the shooting was clean. Once the crime scene and shoot team guys had documented that the first kid’s gun had been fired, and Casamir’s recollection of the events didn’t waver, they quickly closed the investigation.

  I still had to sit through the playing of the inside surveillance tape and watch as the second kid leaped out of the store and disappeared from the camera frame. Only I had seen him catch my bullet. Everyone else only looked at the aftermath and called it a justified use of force, a clean shooting. But it was my shooting.

  After seeing the obligatory shrinks and counselors and department managers, the most valuable appointment I had was with the human resources wonk who recited my options, which included a large lump sum disability payment if I should decide to quit.

  My uncle Keith, a cop along with my father for more than twenty-five years, blew a slow whistling breath through his teeth at the number of zeros in the payout.

  I took the check and tried to wash out the memory. In the mornings I ran for hours along the uneven concrete of Front Street in the river breeze off the Delaware. In the afternoons I shot baskets alone at Jefferson Square playground or hung at Frankie O’Hara’s gym and took my turns getting pummeled by local fighters. At night I walked, streetlight to streetlight, sometimes looking up to find I’d gone miles without realizing it, having to concentrate on a corner street sign for several seconds to determine where I’d wandered to.

  One night I found myself in front of the Thirteenth Street Cleaners, staring at a thimble-sized pockmark in the wall, trying to see my own spattered blood deep in the grimy brick.

  The next day I honored my mother’s memory and this time used my brain. I contacted a lawyer in West Palm Beach, Florida. His family name had been scratched into my mother’s address book decades ago. She and the matriarch of his family had some kind of never-discussed relationship. The lawyer was the woman’s son, and my own mother had often urged me to “just meet him. He’s a bright boy you could learn from.”

  I can’t remember how he managed to convince me to fly south to see him. Perhaps it was the confidence and pure, simple logic in his voice. It wasn’t condescending. It wasn’t presumptuous. It wasn’t overtly high-minded. He was the one who set me up in the research shack when I told him I wanted someplace isolated and completely different from where I’d come from. He’s the one who arranged to use my departmental payout to buy into the grou
nd floor of a new South Florida Internet research site. For the first time in a long time, he became the one person I trusted, and it paid off.

  Out on the river I heard the burble of Cleve’s outboard, the noise growing louder as he ferried Hammonds and his team back to the boat ramp. They’d have the child’s body with them now, still wrapped tight until they got it to some morgue and the forensics guys could go over it.

  As they went by less than 150 feet away through the cypress, I heard Cleve slightly rev the engine, letting me know he’d kept my place a secret, for now. But I knew I’d be back in a squad room soon enough, answering more questions. And I also knew I needed to talk to my lawyer before I let that happen.

  CHAPTER 4

  I was on the interstate, back in the fumes, back in the dull bake of the sun on concrete, back in the aggressive hurry up, back in the world.

  I’d spent the morning staring out at the wet forest, watching the sun leak through the canopy and spackle the ferns and pond apple leaves and haircap moss below. I hadn’t given nature much thought before coming here. I only studied the nature of humans on the Philadelphia streets, and it wasn’t anything out of the sociology department at the University of Pennsylvania. People did things for pretty basic reasons and it has been that way for a lot longer than most of us will admit. We haven’t changed much since we first gathered as tribes. Just the stuff around us changed. Hunger and fear, love and jealousy, greed and hate still rule us. You could put that down in the middle of the swamp or at the corner of Broad and Passyunk and it was still going to be the same.

  I’d made a pot of black coffee on the wood stove in my shack and then sat at my empty table, sipping. Then I packed up a gym bag with clothes and a shaving kit and paddled back down to the ranger station where I used the phone to call my lawyer. Cleve was nowhere in sight.