The Connaghers Series Boxed Set

by Joely Sue Burkhart

  He couldn’t help but recognize the truth in her words because it resonated inside him like a church bell, yet something inside him resisted. Some part of his ego insisted that he could do it all. He could stand guard for Elias, for her, for everyone. He wouldn’t fail this time.

  “You won’t do it any longer.” Mal didn’t move exactly, but her manner changed. Her eyes hardened. Her body wasn’t soft and melted against him and her shoulders squared. She looked him in the eye and it was like she held him captive, entranced, unable to move. “I won’t allow it. If you want to be with me, you will let this monstrous sense of responsibility go.”

  He couldn’t look away. Couldn’t back down. Nobody had ever challenged him like this, let alone a woman. She didn’t raise her voice or threaten him in any way, but he felt the surety rolling off her in waves. She’d regret never seeing him again, but she’d walk away in a heartbeat if he didn’t let this go. What was so stupid was he wanted to let it go. He didn’t want to be tied up in knots all the time.

  Tied up. He couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, breaking the tension of the moment.

  Mal’s determination didn’t soften, but she did allow a ghost of a smile to grace her lips a moment. “What?”

  “You sure do tie me up in knots, Mal.”

  She laughed too, letting her eyes warm with a sensual promise that he hadn’t seen nothing yet. “Now that’s a promise I’d love to follow through with, sugar.”

  His phone rang in the other room and he didn’t try to stifle the groan. “That’ll be Elias, telling me he’s headed in to start the paperwork.”

  She leaned back out of his space, and the air seemed to cool around him that he actually felt a chill on his bare skin. He hadn’t realized how much heat and fire she put out. She’d heated him without a single touch. “Duty calls.”

  Nodding, he stood, but hesitated awkwardly. He couldn’t forget her ultimatum. Standing here in his skivies, eating breakfast with her, in her house… it made him want to stay and damn the rest of the world. He wouldn’t care as long as he had her waiting for him. Though with Mal, he didn’t think she’d be the one waiting. No, it’d be him. Sweating, shaking, trying to hold on until the next command came. Why did that sound so good?

  Turning toward him slightly, she stretched out her legs, letting the robe fall apart enough to reveal the faded t-shirt she wore and a hint of scarlet silk between her thighs. She saw him looking and arched a brow at him. “What, shocked by my ultra sexy babydoll?”

  His tongue felt too thick in his mouth to make words, but he tried anyway. “Looks good. Damned good. But…”

  “You’re wondering about our conversation just now and whether or not you’ll be welcomed back.”

  He dragged his gaze up to her face, determined to face her decision on his feet like a man. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Thank you.”

  That wasn’t what he expected to hear. “For what?”

  “I can have sex any night I want. All I have to do is go down to the club and see who wants to play. You let me in. You gave me your secrets. Your pain. Your truths that maybe even you didn’t know for yourself. I can’t get that from just anyone. Would it surprise you if I said our little talk just now made me want you even more than when I had you in my bed?”

  His dick liked those words. “Why?”

  “It takes a very confident man to make himself vulnerable. To give up his weaknesses to a woman. It’s encoded in your brains from childhood by society to be tough, not act like a girl, not show your feelings. Which is bull shit. What we had two nights ago was great. I’d do it again if you asked me very nicely and promised to let me try a little rope for round two. See how many knots I really can tie on you. But if that’s all you can offer me, the fun times are just that. Fun. And over before you know it.”

  His tongue stumbled over the words, but he had to say it. “I don’t want this to be over. Not anytime soon.”

  She reached out and took his hand, pressing her lips against his palm in a kiss. “Neither do I, sugar. So you think about what I said earlier. Come back for some fun times. But if you want to take it to the next level, you know what I’m going to expect. Fair warning.”

  All or nothing. No secrets. And she wasn’t going to play around or step around his issues. He liked that. Even if it sucked too. “When can I see you again?”

  She pressed her teeth gently into the thicker pad at the base of his thumb. A promise. “How long are you going to be stuck at the office today?”

  “A few hours.” As long as another gang war didn’t erupt. Then she wouldn’t see hide nor hair of him for days at a time.

  “Then come back tonight, detective.” Releasing his hand, she laughed softly and picked up her coffee cup, giving him a sultry look over the top of the mug. “If you’re brave enough.”

  11

  “Have you ever had a woman you’re dating lay down an ultimatum?” Elias asked.

  Suspicious, Colby looked up over the top of his computer screen at his partner. How the fuck would he know about Mal’s ultimatum earlier? But Elias didn’t even look at him, instead pretending intent interest in the file folder spread out in front of him. The main room of the precinct was mostly empty, though two cops were in the break room shooting the breeze while waiting on the coffee pot to quit bubbling.

  “I mean, I get it,” Elias continued, still not looking at him. “I get where she’s coming from. What she’s asking isn’t unreasonable. But for some reason my lizard brain just can’t deal with it, and that pisses me off.”

  Yeah, Colby got that exactly. When Mal had told him he shouldn’t be a cop if he couldn’t accept the dangers and risks to both him and his partner, he’d understood her point, and even agreed. But that didn’t mean he liked it, and his knee-jerk reaction was to do the opposite just because someone, a woman, specifically, had told him the truth of it. “I thought you were more Neanderthal than lizard brain.”

  Elias blew out a snort. “’Me man. You woman. You no tell me what to do.’ Then Vic clubs me over the head and drags me into the cave.”

  “Sounds about right.” They laughed a few moments, and then Colby asked. “So what’s she wanting you to do?”

  “Oh, it’s the kid, Jesse.”

  Colby had met Jesse a few times, but he didn’t entirely understand the living arrangements Elias and Vicki had worked out when she took a homeless man into her home. In fact, Elias had been meaner than usual for months before and hadn’t even been seeing her. Then all the sudden, it was the three of them back in the picture, and then shortly after, engagement. “That can’t be… easy.”

  “Not easy, no,” Elias replied quietly. “But she loves him, and I love her, and while she loves me too, sometimes I just want to beat the shit out of him and kick him out of her house for good.”

  “And other times…?”

  Elias didn’t answer right away. Colby glanced back up at him and paused, shocked. In over a year of working with him, Colby had never seen his partner rattled. Let alone…

  He was pretty sure the red splotches on Elias’s cheek bones were embarrassment.

  “I don’t even know.” Elias muttered, followed by a foul string of curse words and a slammed drawer. “It’s her fault anyway. She put me in this position. She made this… possible. And damn it all to hell, I can’t seem to care, which pisses me off even more.”

  Colby couldn’t help but imagine about a thousand scenarios, each more outlandish for the harsh, pit bull cop he knew. It wasn’t his business, but he couldn’t help but wonder how they managed the lovemaking. Did Elias watch her with Jesse, and vice versa? Or did she take them both at the same time? And how the hell did that work? Elias wasn’t a touchy-feely guy. Not by a long shot. Colby couldn’t even remember the last time the man had hugged him, even a friendly pounding or slap on the back. So how would he take touching another man in his woman’s bed? Did he touch Jesse?

  Did he want to touch Jesse?

  Now Colby found himself blush
ing too and unable to meet his partner’s gaze. Tough, brass-for-balls cops weren’t supposed to think about touching other men. At least in Texas. No wonder Elias was having an identity crisis. If two men loved the same woman, wouldn’t that be a natural progression? Now that he’d thought about it, it wouldn’t surprise him at all. Though maybe it was surprising Elias. Something he’d never counted on.

  Elias wasn’t looking for advice, not really. He’d do what he was going to do one way or the other. He wouldn’t even care if people started gossiping, just like he’d blown off the bondage jokes after he’d filmed that commercial. It was his own response to the situation, his anger, that was frustrating him.

  So maybe hearing a different side of a similar situation would help. “Mal gave me an ultimatum this morning.”

  “Yeah? About what?”

  “Getting my shit together, if I want to keep seeing her. After she dragged out an emotional story from my childhood that I haven’t told anybody else.”

  Elias grunted. “She’s digging her claws into you good.”

  And her teeth. The thought made Colby’s dick stir. “No shit. I felt like I’d taken a fall off my horse straight into a patch of barrel cacti when she was done with me, and she never laid a finger on me. But she made sense. I mean, I want to get my shit together, obviously. But I’m still fighting myself to shut up the automatic hell no.”

  “So we’re both chauvinistic pigs.”

  “And we both picked strong women who aren’t afraid to tell us so.”

  “Sometimes on a daily basis,” Elias grumbled, though he nodded. “Guess I need to hear it that often. I just wish I knew what the hell I was doing.”

  “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing either,” Colby admitted. “I just… like her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I know there are things that she’s going to expect from me, and I don’t know that I’ll be able to do it. That I’ll even want to consider it. But… I can’t make myself care.”

  “You’ll know. When it comes down to it, you’ll know what to do.”

  “Will I?” Colby asked as he met his partner’s gaze. “Will you?”

  Admiration flickered in Elias’s gaze, followed quickly by gratitude. He saw what Colby had done, though it wasn’t in his nature to bring it out and examine it with words. “You’re a stupid motherfucker.”

  “So are you.”

  Elias grinned. “Let’s get this shit done so we can get back to being told what to do at home.”

  12

  The doorbell rang. Relieved, but also irritated at feeling so relieved, Mal shoved the box of Patrick’s goodies away and went to the open the door. “I gave you the code for a reason.”

  Colby flashed a grin and lifted both hands full of takeout. “Hungry?”

  “You’re forgiven. I hope you got Kung Pao Chicken. I love some spicy Chinese food. Here, we’ll just eat in the living room. What do you want to drink?”

  “I’ll start with just water, and then whatever you’re having. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a variety. I haven’t eaten at this place yet, but Elias swore they have the best Chinese in town.”

  She hit the fridge door for two glasses of water and then the silverware drawer for forks and several large spoons. She set the glasses down on the coffee table, watching as he sorted through the red and gold containers. “I don’t like plastic silverware and I don’t eat with chopsticks.”

  He laughed. “The only thing in my cupboard is plastic crap. I refused to spend good money on kitchen stuff when I’m never home.”

  “I’ve noticed.” She put a little reprimand into her tone. “You can’t keep up this pace for long.”

  Sitting down with his Orange Beef, he sighed. “I know. But putting in all these hours the past year has really helped my career. Elias is feeling the pressure, too, though. Vicki isn’t going to want him working so much either. I think he indulged my frantic work habits just to keep himself busy while they were split up.”

  “You’ve been partners for awhile?”

  “About a year, plus I spent some time as a beat cop. But they promoted me pretty quickly thanks to my military experience. Elias has been a great mentor, but he’s getting ready to move on.”

  She heard a bit of uncertainty in his voice and read the tension in his shoulders. “What will you do?”

  “They’ll give me a new partner.” Colby paused, staring down at the food for a moment. “If I stay.” He looked up at her, taking a deep breath. “That’s the first time I’ve let myself say that, and I’m surprised. It feels good.”

  She couldn’t deny that she liked the idea of him leaving the force, especially if they were going to try and make a relationship out of this. She’d only seen the tip of the iceberg, but her patience and concern with the hours he was working would quickly run thin. But she had to be careful. If he was her submissive, she’d want to be sure he was making a good, well-thought-out decision. Even if it meant that he wouldn’t be in danger and they’d have more time together. If his dream was to be a cop, she’d have to learn to deal with the pressures of his career, even if she didn’t like it much.

  “Elias has been great. If they’d given me some other partner, I don’t know that I would have lasted this long. They probably would have sent me packing already.”

  “I thought you said you two were doing great.”

  “We are. We’ve really hit the cartels and gangs hard this past year. But the harder we hit, the worse the violence on the streets get. It’s a vicious circle. And Elias has been covering for me, helping me. I didn’t even realize it. I guess I wasn’t hiding my symptoms as well as I thought. Now I know why I don’t have any other friends on the force but him, and he’s aiming for a promotion. Sooner than later. So I need to decide what I want to do.”

  “I have to admit that I never really paid attention to the violence on the news until I met you.” And what I hear now chills my blood because I know you’re out there. She didn’t say it aloud though. Not yet. She didn’t feel as though she had the right, because her opinion might sway him toward a decision he wasn’t ready to make.

  “It’s rough out there and getting worse every day. The war on drugs is the stupidest war we’ve ever started. It just escalates, and cartels have infinite resources. It doesn’t take much to buy some illegal guns and give them to desperate men who’d sell their own mothers for their next hit. We shut down one dealer and three more pop up. It’s the same thing we saw in Afghanistan. The real terrorists are never stopped. All we do is bomb the innocent and make their lives more miserable, driving many of them to join the terror cells because they simply have no other choice.”

  “There are other departments, right? You don’t have to work narcotics.”

  “True.” He ate quietly a few moments before continuing. “I’m realizing now that I didn’t join the force for the right reasons, and I’m damned lucky Elias has been covering my back all this time. Without him, I wouldn’t have made it so long.”

  “You’re a good cop. I don’t doubt that.”

  “But I’ve been stupid. As hyped up and out of control as I’ve been, I’m damned lucky I didn’t go off half-cocked and hurt somebody. That’s the last thing I want to do. A cop’s primary goal is protect and serve, not seeking out a new battle to take his mind off all the other shit in his head.”

  She settled back on the couch, pleasantly full and ready for a glass of wine. “I think you’re doing just fine at protection. And you certainly served me dinner just now.”

  He might not think he was submissive, but he was sensitive enough to detect the heat in her voice. The subtle reminder that she was the Mistress, and she was pleased with him so far. “Is there anything else I could serve you, Mal?”

  “For starters, you could grab that bottle of wine on the counter and a glass. Of two, if you like wine. I’ve got a couple of beers in the fridge if that’s more your style.”

  She didn’t ask him to take care of the food, but he’d bought enough for a sm
all army. He grabbed the untouched containers and the two they’d demolished, put the leftovers in the fridge, and paused, looking around for a trash can.

  “Under the sink. The wine glasses are in the cabinet above the dishwasher.”

  “You said the bottle’s open already?”

  “Yeah, a few days. Hopefully it’s still good.”

  Returning, he set the glasses on the coffee table and poured a good amount into both. Then he noticed the box that just happened to have a butt-plug tail prominently on top. If he even recognized the plug for what it was.

  He stilled a moment, and she could almost see the flurry of questions and doubt surging through him. When he turned to hand her a glass, he quirked his lips and arched a brow at her rather than flying off the handle. “I have to admit, I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing with a box full of tack and a fake tail.”

  Colby had forgotten how nice it felt to bring home food to someone. To watch her eat what he’d brought, to be satisfied and glad that he’d thought about it in time to stop and pick it up. Even that he’d guessed correctly and gotten her something she enjoyed. It was so much better than going into his crappy run-down apartment by himself and wondering if he had anything in the fridge other than ketchup and beer. Gotta start taking better care of myself. At least I’m eating and sleeping better.

  Thanks to her.

  So if she wanted him to look through a suspiciously crazy box of BDSM garb, then he’d do it. Though he’d be blushing worse than Elias this morning.

  She studied the box a moment, as if trying to decide which toy to use first on him, but then she laughed, shaking her head. “I can’t even pretend I’m into it, sorry. I just don’t get it.”

  He’d never seen the calm, always in control Mistress out of her element, or at least slightly uncomfortable before. Curious, now, he pulled the box toward him. Lifting the tail by the long, silky hairs, he tried not to react to the large black plastic end, but it was obvious where it went, and what people did with it. Unconsciously, his buttocks tightened, as if he needed to protect that tender hole. That plug looked way too big for anyone to want that stuck anywhere, let alone there.