A Sinclair Homecoming (The Sinclairs of Alaska)
Page 15
Ah, having Wade all to herself...she liked the idea of that too much.
Mona caught her dreamy expression and said, “I’m just glad you’re finally seeing someone—secret or not. You deserve it.”
“Thank you,” Morgan said, smiling at her sister. Sometimes when Mona wasn’t being a self-absorbed twit, she was actually pretty sweet. “Feels kinda good to just be me. Not the doctor, just me. Wade makes me feel comfortable in my own skin.” For the first time in years. God, David really had done a number on her, which she’d known intellectually, but it hadn’t actually sunk in until this moment. “Is it weird that I like him so much so quick?” she asked.
“You’re asking me?” Mona asked wryly, and Morgan laughed.
“You’re right. But okay, just for the sake of argument...do you?”
To Morgan’s surprise, Mona sobered and shook her head. “Not at all. I think that when something clicks between two people—and I mean, really clicks—time doesn’t actually matter and you should just accept wherever fate is going to take you.”
Oh, that wasn’t something Morgan would ever do. She wasn’t the kind of woman who took big risks in a relationship or in life. That’s why she’d been so quick to accept David’s offer of marriage. He’d seemed a very good match. Very stable. Very dependable. Ha! What a joke. The only thing she’d come to depend upon with David was his capricious cruelty. Fate had a funny sense of humor.
Stop thinking about David. She was so tired of battling his ghost, both in her head and in this house. “Is it too early for wine?” she murmured, needing something to calm her nerves.
“It’s never too early for wine,” Mona said, and Morgan agreed, rising to open a bottle. “Although not a red—the last one was a little too earthy for my tastes. How about a nice, light white?”
“I think I have some Barefoot somewhere in the wine cabinet,” Morgan said before taking a look. “Aha, yes, here it is,” she exclaimed, grabbing the bottle and glassware. “So,” she began, using the opportunity to switch subjects. “Since I’m so bad at telling intimate stories, why did you come over in the first place?”
Mona’s expression lit up, happy to talk about herself again. “Oh! Yes, that’s right. I came over for a reason. Seems your date with George wasn’t a waste, after all. I ended up getting a buyer for a few of my pieces with the potential of a commissioned piece, as well.”
Wow, that was big news. Maybe that meant that Morgan wouldn’t have to pay Mona’s rent next month. “That’s wonderful. Who was the buyer?”
“I don’t know him and I don’t care as long as his check clears.”
“Good attitude. So which prints did he buy?”
“Do you really want to know? I know you’re just humoring me. Don’t get me wrong, I love you for it but those kinds of details really aren’t necessary. All that matters is he likes my work, I get validation as an artist and I don’t have to beg you for money. It’s a win-win all the way around.”
Morgan couldn’t argue with that logic. “Should we open a bottle of champagne, instead, to celebrate?”
Mona grinned. “Champagne gives me gas. I’m good with the white. Crack open that Chardonnay and let that bad boy breathe. But please promise me you won’t break out that stinky cheese. I loved David, don’t get me wrong, but that cheese is flat-out gross. In fact, I think if you put it outside, it would scare away the wildlife.” Mona seemed to reconsider and then added, “Unless having the cheese around helps you to be stronger...”
“Stronger? How would cheese make me stronger?” Morgan asked, confused.
“Well, you know, because the cheese reminds you of David and whatnot. I mean, you’re the therapist. If you think hanging on to that dumb cheese is the way to heal and move on...then, I guess I’ll stop teasing you about it.”
Oh, for God’s sake. In that instance, Morgan saw herself through her sister’s eyes and the picture was not flattering. Cheese as a therapy tool? More like something that continued to hold her hostage. Like everything associated with David. Morgan had been insulating herself from prying eyes for so long—even before David had died—that she’d completely lost sight of what normal was supposed to look like. “I hate that cheese,” she admitted in a soft murmur. “I never liked it. I always thought it smelled like a dirty armpit and tasted just as bad.” She met Mona’s perplexed stare and made a decision that she was going to stick to. If she had to, she’d avoid the dairy aisle or switch grocery stores so that cheese did not inadvertently end up in her cart, ever again. “And I’m not going to buy it anymore.” And this time, she meant it. Truly.
“Well, hallelujah,” Mona said, breaking into an unsure grin. “Are you okay? You seem a little pale.”
“I’m good.”
“Are you sure? You seem a little more fragile than usual.”
Fragile? “Why do you think I’m fragile?”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I wasn’t insulting you,” Mona assured her but it must’ve been the day Mona had marked on her calendar to think of someone aside from herself, because she seemed filled with stuff to say to Morgan about life in general. “Listen, I’m just saying that most people would be ready to move on after three years of mourning. Why do you think I’m not mad as hell that you and Wade hooked up? Frankly, I’m just so happy that someone knocked the cobwebs off that dusty shelf that I don’t care who it is.”
Morgan exhaled in irritation. “Maybe it wasn’t because of David that I haven’t been dating,” she flat-out lied. “Maybe I’m just consumed with work and haven’t had time.”
“Who knew my beautiful, smart, responsible sister is also prone to lying through her damn teeth?” Mona mocked sweetly, startling Morgan with how close Mona had come to the real truth. Morgan had spun so many lies she didn’t know how to keep them straight anymore. “Listen, I know you’re keeping everyone who could possibly keep you warm at night at arm’s length because you’re afraid no one’s going to measure up to David. I get it, he was a tough act to follow, but at this rate you’re gonna die alone.”
Why did her thoughts immediately zero in on Wade? Wade wasn’t looking for commitment and she wasn’t emotionally available so why did she yearn to spend more time cuddled up to him? She rubbed her forehead, tired of her own bullshit. “I don’t understand why our conversations keep ending up on the same topic. I’m fine and I like my life the way that it is. Yes, I miss David.” How did she manage those words without choking? “But it’s more about being busy than trying to fill my social calendar. I promise. Now can we please go back to celebrating your accomplishment and drop this subject?”
But Mona had a bone and she wasn’t letting it go. “And why do you work so much?” she demanded, then answered herself. “It’s because you’re trying to fill a hole with work instead of trying to fill a hole with something else.”
Morgan’s cheeks burned. “Mona, you are so crude sometimes,” she said as she poured the wine and slid a glass over to her sister. “Sometimes I don’t even know how we share the same DNA.”
Mona accepted the glass and agreed. “You and me both, sister. Sometimes I just don’t understand how your brain works. But that’s what makes you you and I love you just the way you are because that’s how you love me.” Mona took a swallow and smiled with pure joy. “Yeah, that’s the stuff. You always have the best wine,” she said with a happy exhale as if she’d just unloaded a heavy burden and was ready to kick off her shoes and just chill.
Morgan’s eyes burned with sudden tears at the unexpected affection from her little sister, and for a moment she was paralyzed by the urge to tell Mona exactly what kind of person David was. The reasons why she always had good wine and disgusting European cheese on hand were because David had beaten the reasons into her. She wanted to tell her about the bruises she’d always managed to hide beneath long-sleeved shirts or bulky sweaters or the wounds that were inv
isible to the eye. David’s abuse of choice had been a punch to the gut because it didn’t leave the same kind of marks, and any mark he did leave behind was easily concealed. She especially wanted to tell Mona about the baby but as desperately as she needed to share with someone, she silenced the words with a long swallow of wine. Mona had adored David. What good would it do to destroy her illusion or memory of him? It wouldn’t change a thing except it would ruin her sister’s ideal and at the end of the day, Morgan was still Mona’s big sister and she would do anything to protect her. “I’m really proud of you, Mona,” she said with love in her voice. “You’re very talented and you have the sense of self to know that you can do what you are good at and make a living, too.”
“Hear, hear!” Mona said, lifting her glass with a grin. “Now, if you could just let Mom and Dad know and assure them that I’m not going to end up homeless, that would be great. I swear if Dad offers to get me a job as a secretary at one of his old cronies’ businesses one more time, I will scream.”
“I will talk to Mom and Dad,” Morgan promised. “I’m sure they’ll be very happy to know that your art is finally selling. You know they just worry about you.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’m going to be okay. Just like you’re going to be okay. Eventually, you’re going to meet someone amazing and even if he can’t replace David, you’re going to find happiness with him.”
If only that were true. If only she could latch on to Mona’s prophecy as gospel instead of the rosy-eyed proclamation from a young woman who didn’t know all the facts that it was. “Well, from your mouth to God’s ear,” Morgan said with a small smile. “But in the meantime, I think I’ll just focus on work.”
“Well, it’s your decision. But you know what they say...use it or lose it.”
Morgan laughed. “You’re impossible. Simply impossible. Not everything is about sex in life.”
“No, but sex is pretty damn important.”
Before Wade, Morgan would’ve adamantly disagreed. But now...she was beginning to understand Mona’s point of view because even though she shouldn’t, she was already trying to figure out a way to finesse another opportunity to enjoy Wade in her bed. Maybe Mona was right. She should’ve enlisted the help of a bed partner to erase David’s memory from her brain. And she couldn’t think of another person she’d rather ask to help her than Wade Sinclair.
She hid a slow, private smile behind the rim of her glass. Oh, yes...she was definitely open to another round with that sexy man.
No doubt about it.
Reckless, thy name is Morgan O’Hare.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
WADE DIDN’T KNOW how the phone stayed at his ear because he could no longer feel his fingers. “What are you talking about?” he asked when his throat worked again. A fine sheen of sweat popped along his hairline and he actually felt sick. “There must be some kind of mistake. We were always cautious.”
“Nothing is one hundred percent,” she reminded him with a resigned sigh. “I guess you must have really industrious swimmers.”
“Are you sure? I mean, have you talked to a doctor yet?”
“No, but I know what my body feels like and something is definitely happening that’s out of the norm. I’m never late. Ever.”
He shifted, unable to believe he was having this conversation when prior to this phone call he’d been basking in the afterglow of an amazing sexual encounter with another woman. Ah, God, Morgan. What was he supposed to say to her? He didn’t want to tell her but then, should he? Too many questions.
Wade closed his eyes and prepared to ask the question he never imagined asking a woman. “So...if it’s true that you’re pregnant...are you planning to keep the baby?”
“Of course I’m keeping the baby,” Elizabeth answered sharply. “You know I’m Catholic and abortion is out of the question. Frankly, that you would even ask tells me that you’re not interested in coparenting with me.”
“That’s not true,” he disagreed quickly but his head was spinning. A baby? Kids had always been in the plan eventually but he’d figured he was light years away from that reality, seeing as he hadn’t found The One to build a life with. Ah, hell.
He rubbed his forehead, wiping away the sudden nervous sweat, trying to remain calm. “I didn’t mean that I don’t want to be a part of the child’s life but it wouldn’t be right of me to assume anything in this situation. Neither of us was planning to parent together so this is a bit of a shock.”
“No, what was a shock was you breaking up with me before you left for Alaska,” she said, surprising him with her pointed statement. He started to protest but she cut him off, determined to have her say. “We were dating for quite a while...most people at that stage in the relationship start talking about taking it to the next level, so when you came to me I had assumed that you were going to ask me to marry you, not break my heart and throw me away.”
Wade stopped himself from saying they never really had a relationship but rather a mutually beneficial sexual partnership that sometimes included dinner, because he knew he’d come out sounding like the jerk even if it was true. “Elizabeth, I’m sorry that you were hurt. I was under the impression our relationship was more casual, something without labels that we both enjoyed, but there was no express understanding that it was going somewhere deeper.” The heavy silence on the other end made him wince but before he could try again, she cut in with a cool tone.
“So what you’re saying is I was a convenient booty call?”
“No, of course not.” Yes, sort of. But he hated that term. “I care for and respect you as a friend and a professional woman.”
“But you have no interest in marrying me, even if I was pregnant?”
“Well, no,” he answered with a frown. “Do you really think two people should marry if there’s no love, just because there was an unplanned pregnancy? Statistically, that’s a recipe for resentment, which is not a healthy environment for a child. I’d rather coparent with someone I respect than force myself to marry and potentially grow to hate because she forced me into something I wasn’t interested in.”
“Maybe you should’ve gone into contract law rather than administration,” she said, the masked pain in her voice cutting at him. He’d never meant to hurt Elizabeth but it seemed he’d done just that. What would Morgan think? The fact that his immediate thought was worry about Morgan gave him pause. Morgan wasn’t a factor. True, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking of her reaction to all this because it did matter.
There was a sniffle on the other end and Wade closed his eyes against the sickening lurch in his stomach. “I’d held out hope that you would love me like I loved you,” she admitted in an embarrassed whisper. “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you’re not,” he said. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I feel like a jerk.”
“Me, too,” she said, her voice catching. “I never saw myself in this position. This is the kind of thing that happens to women in different social situations. Not me.”
He didn’t blame her for the hint of bitterness in her tone. “I don’t know what to say that won’t make it worse. Everything that comes to mind seems trite even if it’s coming from an honest place. What can I do to help?”
“I’d like you to come home,” she said, sniffing again. “I feel alone in this.”
“You’re not alone,” he tried assuring her but he wasn’t sure how much more help he could really be at the moment. “But I can’t come home just yet. Things with my family are still volatile and it’s taking longer than I imagined it would to sort things out.”
“Not that I’m not sympathetic to your family’s problems, but how are you managing to take so much time off? You’re the superintendent of a national park. You don’t have the luxury of gallivanting around the countryside for an indeterminate amount of time without losing your job.”
“I’m just saying there’s no need for you to be evasive. I would prefer honesty. Perhaps if you’d been honest from the start of our relationship I wouldn’t be in this position.”
“Elizabeth, I was honest. I can’t control what you chose to hear. I’m not that kind of man,” he said, fighting a growl. He tried to keep in mind Elizabeth was likely hormonal and emotional and not in her right mind. “I’m trying to get things figured out here with my family. Hopefully, in two weeks I can leave.”
“I guess if that’s all you can offer...fine. I’ll be in touch.”
“Elizabeth...”
“I can’t talk about this anymore. I have to go.”
“Elizabeth, wait—”
But the line went dead, and he knew she’d hung up. He shook his phone in frustration and then sat heavily on the bed. How could the day go so wrong in such a short time frame?
Wade’s heart pounded with an unhealthy beat against his rib cage, and his head was crammed with all sorts of unhelpful nonsense. Please don’t be pregnant. What would Morgan say to this new development? Would it matter? It wasn’t as if they were building something to last. But would she hold it against him that he might be having a baby with another woman? “Damn it,” he muttered, letting his phone roll from his hand so he could scrub his palms across his face. This was just fabulous. Fab-u-lous.
Wade slowly rose from the bed, lost and a bit angry, with no one to talk to about it. He couldn’t call his brother because Trace was still holding a grudge against him, and he couldn’t call Miranda because she had enough on her plate as it was without adding his drama to it. All he had was himself. And right now, he was terrible company with absolutely no advice to give.
What were the odds of Elizabeth getting pregnant when they’d used every precaution? Would she lie about something like that? No, she was a professional woman, not some gold digger looking for someone to bankroll their life. Hell, Elizabeth might even make more money than he did. Well, it was probably a tie. He made a pretty good living. His phone rang and he snagged it, hoping it was Morgan but it was Miranda.