MUSICAroLina

by Daniel William Gunning

  I found myself reborn that day. I found my terrible, glorious purpose yet again, but I didn’t have the same yearning to roam that I once did. So, instead of going to the souls I brought the souls here unto me, and that’s where we are, gentlemen. The real truth is the world you know is lost; it has been for a long time and it isn’t going to get any better. You would be just as lost out there as in here, and you, my dear friends, you are damned no matter what you do, but at least here you can hold back the reaper for a good long while and not even give the devil his due in the end. All I ask in return is a tiny piece of your soul and to put a song in your heart.

  Now I ask you, isn’t that a dream worth sacrificing anything for? Do you really want to go back out there? That is a world of pure evil and greed, where men have all they could want to be truly happy and yet they only want more. That’s what hell really is, gentlemen; it isn’t a lake of fire, or anything as showy as all that. It’s simply having everything you ever could have wanted, to truly have dreamed of in your wildest of fantasies and having it mean nothing to you at all. Just think about it for a while, gentlemen; that’s all I ask. The good sheriff here will see you out.” With that, the mayor twirled round and walked out of the jail, confident that he had made his point.

  Once the mayor made his grand exit, stage left, Sheriff Cane unlocked their cell, swung the door open and gestured for them to step out. He led them out to the front of the jail while saying, “For your convenience, we’ve parked your vehicle just outside for ya. I’d recommend you head back to Miss Bay’s while you make your final decision on your permanent accommodations.” They stopped by his desk as he slowly, almost begrudgingly, removed their handcuffs. Then, suddenly, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around and stared, wide eyed, out the front window and exclaimed, “Well, I’ll be dead and damned!” They looked at what had surprised him so and saw that walking boldly and proudly toward the mayor, down the center of Main Street, was the preacher.

  ***

  The mayor strode toward the preacher, smiling from ear to ear, twirling his cane, and even occasionally breaking stride to click his heels together in pure, unadulterated joy, completely unable to hide his glee in this moment. In a bold, grand, voice he shouted, “My, my, my, the shepherd has finally come down from the mountain to recover his poor lost little lambs.” The sheriff burst out of the police station door and raised his shotgun, pointing it at the preacher, but the mayor quickly motioned for him to lower it and said, “Now, now, no need for you to be so rude, my friend. Don’t make such a scene. For this is truly an auspicious occasion we find ourselves in, one that calls for much feasting and rejoicing indeed. I am afraid, though, my dear holy man, that I will be the only one enjoying this particular feast.”

  “Let them go, demon.”

  “Ha ha, well, that is brave of you; I am deeply impressed by your gumption, I will admit. However, it is a whole lot funnier than it is brave, my dear preacher. You see, here’s the tragic irony of it all for you, I fully intended to from the start. As a matter of fact I already did, but it does so warm the cockles of my cold black heart to see the shepherd care so much about the tiniest of his flock. I must say, I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever step out from that pesky little church of yours. You’ve spent over four centuries hiding in that little shack while this particular wolf grew fat, feasting upon your sheep; now, here you are in the flesh. You have come out willingly to be served up as the main course, the sacrificial lamb as it t’were. Why, I didn’t have to huff, puff, or any such nonsense. That is darn considerate of you, preacher.”

  “It’s so sad to me, for all your big, fancy talk and all your false bravado; you haven’t even begun to understand that your time is at an end.”

  “Oh, tell me; why is that? Is your mighty God going to suddenly reach down from the heavens above and strike me down? Let me tell you preacher, this is my corner of the universe. Your God has no power here.”

  “He has power anywhere the hearts and souls of men dwell.”

  “Oh, so I suppose he could prevent, say this, then?” the mayor said crossly. He then twisted and bulged, his features distorting, tentacles spilling out onto the ground and claws bursting forth from his sides, until he had formed fully into his hideous demon self. His claws swung savagely out, stabbing into various parts of the preacher, sinking deep into his flesh. Without a moment’s hesitation, he pulled with all his might, with all those centuries of pent-up rage and frustration, tearing the preacher apart and bringing forth a torrential downpour of blood and gore onto the street. The preacher’s body parts and internal organs lay scattered far and wide across the main street. Then, with a simple twist, the mayor returned to his human form. He stood amongst the scattered limbs and rivers of blood. He couldn’t begin to contain his grin of self-satisfaction as he examined his handiwork. He calmly straightened his tie and said, “Oh, well, I guess not then. Pity.” He then twirled on his heel and walked down the street, whistling happily to himself as he spun his cane ‘round.

  “I hope you were paying close attention, boys, ‘cuz you could consider that a preview for things to come if you don’t straighten up real soon,” the sheriff called back over his shoulder to John and Kurt. The two stood there, soaking in the abject horror of the bloody scene before them. They then lowered their heads and left the police station, steering wide of the blood and body parts littering the street as they shuffled swiftly toward their car.

  “Let’s hope we do better than that, at least,” Kurt mumbled to John.

  “Well we should; I mean he did set the bar rather low,” John replied in a whisper.

  CHAPTER 21

  TAKING A SHOT

  John drove the car one last time, navigating through the winding, ancient streets of Musicarolina. He drove slowly and carefully this time around, his previous panic and the accompanying desperation urging his flight had by now all but evaporated. This trip he was in no particular hurry to reach his final destination. He was merely driving steadily toward the old stone bridge and the way out of town. All along the streets, as they cruised casually by, the people walking on their merry way smiled and waved to them as John and Kurt passed by. Then, almost instantaneously, upon seeing the direction in which their vehicle was heading, their hands dropped to their sides and their faces switched to an expression of utter terror. Each one, in turn, quickly whipped around and looked frantically back up the street; they half expected to see the mayor, in full hideous demon form, charging after the fleeing vehicle in hot pursuit and they prepared to dive out of the way.

  John simply ignored their shock and terror and he just looked forward, his gaze never wavering. He propelled them ever onward in stoic silence. Kurt, however, riding shotgun, was the complete polar opposite of John’s casual coolness. “See ya later, freakos,” Kurt gleefully chirped, flashing a roguish grin as he leaned out of the car window and waved wildly at the pedestrians with one hand and emphatically flipped them the bird with the other. Finally, they reached the bridge leading over the lake on the outskirts of town.

  John pulled off the road before they crossed onto the bridge and stopped the car, unbeknownst to him, precisely in the spot where his brother had parked that fateful night, which now seemed like a lifetime ago. He left the car running, opened his door, and got out. Kurt exited the vehicle as well and joined him. Together they walked a few paces from the car and once again the friends stood on the shore, looking out across the calm waters of the lake. They remained there for a minute in complete silence, gazing off into the distance, not looking at anything in particular, not even straining their eyes to look for the serpent they knew all too well lurked somewhere in the depths, waiting for the mayor to conjure it forth. They simply stood and contemplated all that had happened to them since they first arrived in this strange little town and all the funny twists and turns of fate that led them to this very point. Kurt finally broke their silent reverie by saying, “You know, I think that it’d be a profoundly
beautiful sight, if we didn’t know there was a sea monster hiding in there somewhere.”

  John cracked a tiny smile and replied, “It’s a lake, Kurt. That would make it a lake monster, not a sea monster. Heck, it’s not even a salt water lake. You weren’t even close. In fact, you didn’t get any subsequent part of that right. Where’d you go to school anyway?”

  “School, what am that?”

  “Ah, I am truly going to miss your dull oafishness, my friend.”

  “Wait, are you dumping me?”

  “Well, Kurt, you’ve been great and all, but I really think I can do better. Don’t worry, it’s not you; it’s me. I’m just super busy right now.”

  “My mother was soooo right about you!” Kurt exclaimed, bursting out into mock hysterics.

  “All right, enough kidding around. Not to sound too overdramatic, but here’s where we finally part company, old friend,” John said extending his hand to Kurt.

  Kurt took his hand, shook it firmly, and said “It’s been a heck of a ride, John.”

  “It sure has. I’ve just got to say that I really didn’t think this was the way it was going to end for us. Oh, and I really mean that, by the way; I did not see this coming at all! I mean, seriously, what are the odds?”

  “Oh, you didn’t see this, really?”

  “Right, like you did?”

  “Well, yeah. Kinda like this, but with more rap numbers.”

  “Now that would’ve been a truly evil town.”

  “Are you really sure about this, John? You know it’s not too late to rethink this whole being a hero thing.”

  “Well, I figure I’m as sure as I can be about anything lately.”

  “Given our current predicament, that’s not exactly the most reassuring thing you could have said.”

  “Just stick to the plan, Kurt; you’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not my job in life to reassure you; buy a teddy bear, you big sissy.”

  “Fine, at least he won’t be a colossal tool. So I’m all set then; what about you?”

  “Oh, I’ll be fine too; I’ve lived through far worse than this.”

  “Not to contradict you, but you’ll have to remind me again. What exactly was worse than this?”

  “Nothing, I was lying, well maybe the prequels. Why question it though? I thought you said you wanted some reassurance.”

  “Oh thanks, that helps. Screw the teddy bear.”

  With that, John turned and began to head back toward the town. As he did, he called out over his shoulder, “Remember, if I don’t make it back, don’t come looking for me. At least, not until you have a rather sizeable army, or some nukes; make that lots of nukes. Oh, and bring bacon!”

  “Yeah, will do, pal, and if I die, I want you to have me cremated. Then I want you to bake the ashes into a beautiful cake of some kind, preferably chocolate, and then give a slice to everyone single one of my enemies. I made a list; it’s in my will. You’ll find it. That way, in death, everyone I hate can finally eat me,” Kurt called out after him. He watched as John waved to him over his shoulder, bidding him a final farewell and then he disappeared amongst the buildings in the town. Kurt frowned as he watched John go, then took off his shoes and got to work.

  ***

  Kurt had already returned to the car, continued over the bridge, and traveled down the lonely road beyond. He finally parked just a scant distance from the lowered arms at the railroad crossing. He climbed back out of the vehicle and was casually perched on the trunk, looking over his shoulder toward the endlessly passing train as it rumbled along, looking entirely unconcerned as if he hadn’t a care in the world anymore. He knew it was hopeless to try to get over the train even if he had half a mind too because he knew, just by looking at the train, that the plan they had so carefully laid out at the prison had somehow been found out. The train was now flying over the tracks at full speed, although oddly it made almost no sound as it continuously sped past him.

  Through the tiny cracks of light as the train passed by, he could just make out people going on about their business in the town on the other side. Out of pure, idle curiosity, he tried calling out to them, but they didn’t acknowledge his cries, not one of the passersby so much as even glanced in his direction. He quickly gave up this futile enterprise, shook his head, and waited for the inevitable. He didn’t have long to wait. Soon enough he heard the sound of a vehicle coming up the road behind him. He turned back around and watched from his perch as the same familiar police cruiser pulled up behind his car. Sheriff Cane exited his cruiser with his trademarked grand, wicked grin hovering on his face. With his ever-present, over-confident swagger, he slowly sauntered up, clearly enjoying himself thoroughly, shotgun in hand, and came to stand in front of Kurt.

  “I’ve got to hand it to ya, boy; it was certainly a nice idea you had here, but you should’ve known it was plumb loco from the start. I mean, land o’ Goshen son! You didn’t really think we’d just go and make it that easy, did ya? If any darn fool could just jump on the train and get over to the other side, then everybody would be doing it. It wouldn’t be much of an effective deterrent, now would it? Although I will admit, strangely not many people have thought to try. Seems an obvious thing to do to me, but then again, what do I know? Now that I’m forced to think back on it, I do recall the last guy who did try it a few decades back; oh yeah, I’ll never forget that ornery li’l cuss. The train sped up just as he leaped through the air and splattered him all over the tracks. Oh, man we laughed for days about that one; sometimes we still find some of his bones or a chunk of him lying about. Ah, good times,” the sheriff said, laughing uncontrollably until a tear ran down his cheek, which he wiped away.

  “Yeah, that sounds real funny in a crazy psychotic sorta way.”

  “Did I see you actually trying to get the people’s attention on the other side?”

  “Yeah, what of it?”

  “Boy, I do declare if you ain’t just dumber than a sack of dead babies! Those fools can’t hear you because, quite literally, they are on the other side, or we are. I guess, now that I think about it, it all depends on your perspective. Huh, weird.”

  “Yeah, funny that.”

  “I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say you boys still don’t seem to have a real good handle on just how good you had it here, do ya, or how anything really runs ‘round here for that matter?”

  “Oh, I think we’ve figured things out pretty well, thank you, or at least as much as we need to for the task at hand.”

  “Oh yeah, you two are real geniuses, you are; in fact, you are sooooo smart that you managed to get yourself trapped on the road here by the charming, brave, and handsome sheriff, while your little friend is back in town, waiting to make a li’l suicide run at our lovely town hall, with my close, personal friend, the mayor, just waiting to pop out and rip him apart. Yeah, that’s a real great plan, that is. Stupid! Blow up the town hall, and then just blow town, right? Pun intended, of course. Yeah, it’s just that easy; easy as strangling a puppy dog.

  Yup, you two are a regular pair of Einsteins. Why, you two idiots even managed to get the mother lovin’ preacher killed, which would be ridiculous enough, but killing the preacher means that when your little plan here goes horribly awry, which I promise you it will, you don’t even have a place to retreat to anymore. Although, to that point, that was some mighty impressive work on your part. That pest of a preacher managed to stay alive for centuries, being a right ornery pain in our collective butts, and then you two come along and get him strewn like so much confetti in the main street in under two days; nice going there, ace!”

  “Well, that is a very impressive bit of speechifying, sheriff. I do declare, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you. You see, we’ve managed to learn more about your little town then you may have realized.”

  “Oh, pray do tell. I’m sure I’m gonna love this one.”

  “Ironic that you of all people would say pray.”

  “Oh why is that boy? Because I’
m in the service of a big scary demon, yeah okay, I guess that is a bit ironic. I’ll give you that one.”

  “Well yeah, that too, but that wasn’t what I was getting at. I’ll explain why it’s ironic in a moment. Let’s put a pin in that for now. You see, it all fell into place because of one simple little thing that you forgot.”

  “And what was that? Please be so kind as to enlighten a poor, dumb feller like me.”

  “The gun.”

  “The gun?”

  “Yeah, that’s right, the gun. That simple little handgun that John hid under his mattress the night we arrived. You know, the one he used so rather ineffectively against the mayor? I guess as it turns out, it wasn’t so ineffective after all. You see, at first this town seems so oppressively intimidating while you’re here. It makes you feel like you have no choice but to give in because you have zero chance at winning; the odds are just so stacked against you, but it’s all because you cheat. You made us think that you already knew everything that we could ever possibly do, because you had a cheat sheet the minute we came into town. You knew our names and you knew our whole life stories. You even knew where our shotguns and explosives were, so you could take them or disarm them to leave us at a rather unfair disadvantage. So it always seemed that you were one step ahead of us no matter what we did, or even what we thought.