Alfie and George

by Rachel Wells

  ‘Jeez, Tom, it feels like they’ve been gone for ages, although I know it hasn’t been that long,’ Matt said, which I agreed with.‘When are they back?’

  ‘Another two weeks, before school starts. I asked her to come home sooner but Franceska says they’re having a lovely time and anyway I’d only be working.’

  ‘Tom, you know, me being at home this way, not the way I’d choose, by the way, has taught me something. I see more of my children than ever and they do something different, something new, every day. I love that. I spent so long worrying about losing my job and the fact I was no longer the “man” of the house, but actually, when I think about it, I really enjoy spending more time with the kids. I’ve made myself a promise that if, or when, I get another job, I’ll always make sure I spend enough time with them.’ George hopped onto Matt’s lap and licked his face. Which was very clever of him because I would have done the same had I not been busy being stroked by Tomasz.

  ‘I know you’re right, but the business … We have two restaurants now. And I do this for my family, you know.’

  ‘Yes, and you’re brilliant – look how successful you’ve become. But mate, you have managers, you need to delegate, take more time off. There’s no point in doing this for your family if you don’t see them.’ I couldn’t have put it better myself. Matt had come a long way since learning how to load the dishwasher.

  ‘I know, you’re right. And since they’ve been gone I’ve missed them like crazy, I just need them to come home so I can let them know.’

  No, I felt a tingling in my fur. Tomasz was wrong, he didn’t need them to come home, he needed to go and get them. He needed to go to Poland. But how did I tell him that? I looked at Matt, willing him to have the same idea.

  ‘Changing the subject, I’ve got a meeting. Long story but the brother of one of Jon’s colleagues has a design agency. He’s got some work, it’s freelance, not a permanent role, but it’s a good company and if I get it I might be able to be more flexible, so Polly can keep working if she wants to, and I can still do more with the children.’

  ‘Have you spoken to Polly about it?’

  Matt shook his head.‘We’re not communicating very well right now either.’

  ‘When did our lives get so complicated?’ Tomasz asked. I didn’t know the answer to that. It was complicated, and I couldn’t help but feel a little exasperated that neither man seemed to know what to do about the situation.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  ‘So what you’re saying is you need yet another plan?’ Tiger said, sighing. We were all crouched under a bush in the park: me, Tiger and George. George was making a pile of leaves to nestle into and his nose was covered in mud. He looked very sweet.

  ‘Basically, yes. I tried to leave them to sort it out but to no avail. The thing is, it has to be a big plan,’ I pointed out.‘The biggest plan of my life.’

  ‘What are you hoping to achieve?’ she asked.

  ‘Well, I want Tomasz to go to Poland to get his family back. I want Claire and Jonathan to work together on this adoption, not both on different paths. I want Matt and Polly to talk again, to be as close as they normally are and to agree on how they can both work with jobs and the children. Oh, and I want Tash to feel more confident about having a new relationship because my cat instinct tells me Max could be wonderful both for her and Elijah. Although out of everyone, Tash actually seems the happiest right now. And of course I want to get all the lamppost cats back with their owners, including Pinkie.’

  ‘Is that all?’ I could detect sarcasm in Tiger’s voice. She could be one sarcastic cat.

  ‘I know it’s a lot but hey, there’s a lot to do at the moment.’

  ‘But how are you going to do it? Where do we even start? I mean, nearly getting yourself killed or being stuck up a tree won’t achieve all that,’ she said, referring to my previous plans.

  ‘I know, and I’m also aware I only have so many lives left, so let’s not risk them.’

  ‘But Dad,’ George piped up. ‘How can you make Tomasz go to Poland?’

  ‘I don’t know. What I need to do is find a common thread.’ I started thinking. Thinking made me hungry. It wasn’t lunchtime but I could hear the gentle rumble of my stomach, and then I saw a butterfly, which I decided to jump for. I missed, of course, and landed in a flowerbed. I rolled off and Tiger laughed.

  ‘Right, well Dustbin is on board with the cat problems but for all the others I want us to have a good think. We’ll meet tomorrow to see if we’re any closer to a grand plan.’ George looked confused, Tiger amused. As I brushed a petal off my head, I tried to muster all the dignity I had left.

  As George and I walked home, we saw Tash approaching.

  ‘Hello, boys,’ she said. George rubbed up against her legs. She scooped him up, holding him so tightly he began to wriggle.

  ‘Sorry, my little angel, hope I didn’t squeeze too tight.’ George purred in response; he was such a flirt. Then I saw her eyes were red. Although we were still in the street, I rubbed against her legs. ‘Oh, Alfie, I’m so confused,’ she said. She slumped down on someone’s front wall, still holding George. I jumped up next to her.

  ‘Miaow?’

  ‘It’s Max. I really like him, but I’m so afraid, and I’ve been arguing with Dave about Elijah and money.’

  ‘Yowl,’ I said, to show my disapproval of Dave.

  ‘I know, I know, he’s such an idiot. But Max … Well, he’s lovely, but I told him I needed to take some time out from us. I just don’t know if I can do it, a relationship, it’s too confusing.’

  I was cross. Not because of Tash – I understood how she was feeling. After all, I still couldn’t even contemplate replacing Snowball, but then she wasn’t an idiot like Dave. I needed Tash to remember that thing about snatching happiness whenever you could. As I tried to comfort her, along with George, who was being so affectionate, I remembered that when I got Claire and Jonathan together, after Claire had had a disastrous relationship with a man – I couldn’t bring myself to say his name – Claire had said it was too soon for her to think about dating Jonathan, and Tash had pointed out that if she lost a good man like Jonathan because of a bad man like him, then she’d regret it. Where were her wise words when it came to herself?

  ‘Miaow!’ Give yourself the chance to be happy, I tried to say, but she didn’t seem to be listening.

  That night, yet again, I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake, wracking my brain for a plan. George was fast asleep, thankfully, but I could hear voices coming from Claire and Jonathan’s room. I moved closer to the door to listen.

  ‘Just shut up, Jon, you’re being really mean,’ I heard Claire shout. Her voice wobbled and she sounded close to tears.

  ‘No, I’m not. But, Claire, this is the truth, you wanted the truth, I don’t think I can love a child who isn’t mine, especially an older one. They will already have a personality, probably come from a terrible background and will need extra-special care. It’s not about whether I want to do it or not, it’s that I simply don’t feel I can. How many times can I tell you that I don’t think I can do this!’ He sounded particularly angry.

  ‘I think you can. I think we can. This isn’t about just you, Jonathan, this is about us as a family.’

  ‘A family which at the moment seems close to falling apart,’ Jonathan hissed.

  ‘So now you’re threatening me?’

  ‘No, Claire, I’m trying to tell you how I feel but you can’t seem accept it, or even have a rational discussion about it.’

  ‘No, I can’t, because the man I love wouldn’t threaten me.’ Jonathan made a frustrated noise and then went quiet. I watched from the shadows as the door opened and Claire went into the spare room, where once again she cried herself to sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  ‘We are now in a state of emergency,’ I announced the next day, having gathered all my cat friends at our usual spot. I needed the whole gang. I felt a little bit like I was commanding an army as I
strode backwards and forwards, although they weren’t exactly standing to attention. Elvis was lying on his back, enjoying the sun; Tiger sat with George lying between her paws, looking very sweet; Rocky and Nellie were sitting together; and Tinkerbell was cleaning the back of his legs in a move that would make most yoga enthusiasts jealous. Only Pinkie was absent, which was a stark reminder of one of the reasons we were here.

  ‘Oh, that sounds very incredibly serious,’ Nellie said excitedly. She loved drama.

  ‘Not only do we need to find those missing cats, but I also need help with all my humans.’

  ‘Right, Alfie, so what do you want us to do?’ Elvis asked.

  ‘Firstly, the cats. We are all feeling under stress now that Pinkie is gone. I mean, we don’t know who or what this threat is and when it might come for any one of us.’ I glanced at George, who thankfully was being nuzzled by Tiger and didn’t seem to be listening.

  ‘I heard that in some places they eat cats,’ Nellie said. We all shuddered.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Rocky said, but he looked terrified. ‘No one would eat a cat.’

  ‘What could be happening to all these cats though?’ Elvis said.

  ‘I have no idea, but listen, my pal Dustbin is on the case for us so I think our best course of action is to wait until we hear back from him. If anyone can find out anything it’s him. But then I also have the other issues and I need you to help me come up with a big idea. A grand plan.’ I explained the problems with all my families to them, leaving no stone unturned.

  ‘When my family wanted to go overseas they went to a travel agent,’ Rocky said, not very helpfully.

  ‘I don’t think that’s the issue,’ I pointed out.‘I know I can’t literally make Tomasz go to Poland to get his family but I need to make him realise that that’s what he needs to do.’

  ‘Oh, I think I understand,’ Tinkerbell said.‘You need to do something to make all your families understand how much they love and need each other.’

  Thank goodness. ‘Yes! Exactly!’ Tinkerbell was suddenly my new favourite cat. I was glad that he had become a regular part of our gang. I shot a look at Tiger but she was gazing lovingly at George. Oh blimey, everyone was so obsessed with that kitten, me included. ‘Tiger, can you drag yourself away from George for long enough to pay attention?’ I snapped.

  ‘That’s it!’ Rocky said.

  ‘What?’ I asked. Tiger looked up.

  ‘The boy. Everyone is besotted with the boy, so use him in your plan.’ Rocky looked pleased with himself.

  ‘Everyone loves me,’ George said.

  ‘Um, George, it’s important you don’t become too big-headed,’ I said.

  ‘Well, we all know who he takes after,’ said Tiger. The others laughed; I did not.

  ‘But anyway, he’s got something there,’ said Elvis. ‘For example, you could put the kitten in danger and then the humans will all come together to save him, or something.’

  ‘You can’t put him in danger!’ Nellie snapped. George looked scared and hid behind Tiger.

  ‘No, of course you can’t. I didn’t mean literally, but if they think he is,’ said Elvis.‘Look, we need to try to find the lamppost cats, but what I was thinking was that if your families thought George was one of them, then they would put their problems aside and all get on with it.’

  ‘Make them think that George has been taken like one of the lamppost cats?’ I felt my brain whirring. ‘You might be right, Elvis. Remember when I was very ill at the vet, it brought all my families together – Claire and Jonathan even fell in love and the others all became friends because of me.’

  ‘Yes, but you absolutely can’t put him in danger,’ Tiger said. ‘Not like you do with yourself.’

  I felt an idea hatching, and my whiskers and fur tingled with excitement. ‘What if we just pretend he’s missing?’ I asked.

  ‘How do we do that?’ Tiger asked.

  ‘Well, Tiger, I’m not completely sure yet but let’s say we find somewhere to hide him, and you go with him. He’ll be safe because you’re taking care of him, but everyone else will think he’s lost.’

  ‘How long? You couldn’t do it for too long, it wouldn’t be fair,’ Tiger pointed out.

  ‘Yes, that’s true,’ I agreed. ‘Not too long, I mean, he was only missing for a short time the other day and I was terrified, but he has to be lost for just enough time to trouble them all and get them talking.’

  ‘Ohhh,’ said Nellie.‘Then we can all look for him.’ We all turned our eyes on Nellie.

  ‘He’s not actually going to be lost, so we won’t have to look for him,’ Tiger said scathingly.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ Nellie said, but she didn’t look as if she did.

  ‘Isn’t it mean? To make people worry?’ Tinkerbell asked, looking uncertain.

  ‘Not in the long run. We need something drastic to make them realise that they love each other. If we hide George, they’ll all look for him and talk properly, and then when we find George alive and well they’ll be so relieved and happy that they’ll sort out their problems. It’s foolproof.’ Well, I hoped it was.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ Tiger sounded dubious.

  ‘No, but have you got any better ideas?’

  ‘Other than me kidnapping George, making everyone sick with worry before he’s found, and then bringing them all back together again? No, not really.’

  ‘You aren’t really kidnapping him,’ I pointed out.

  ‘You know what I mean. Look, Alfie, think about this for a while. They’ll be really worried, and Tinkerbell’s right, it does seem mean. If they’re already upset they don’t need any more stress.’

  ‘I know, but these humans need a wake-up call, they’re all forgetting about what’s important. Yes, it’s awful that they’ll worry, but it won’t be for too long. We’ve been here before: if they have something else to focus on they begin to see how much they really love each other. It’s the way humans work. I don’t think we have a choice, Tiger, we have to do this. And in the meantime, Dustbin is going to get to the bottom of the real lamppost cats, I just know he is.’ I felt excited; I knew this was going to work out. I just knew it.

  ‘On your paws be it,’ Tiger snorted. ‘But yes, before you ask, of course I’ll help you, it goes without saying. And I’d be happy to keep George safe for a while, although we need to work out the logistics. Where will we go? What will he eat? How do I keep him warm?’

  ‘We’ll all help you, Alfie,’ Nellie said.‘It brings us together too, doesn’t it, these plans of yours?’ I was relieved, Nellie had finally got it.

  ‘See, Tiger,’ I said.‘I know what I’m doing.’ I couldn’t help but feel a little bit smug. It made sense. Everyone chasing after a lost George would make them all see how much they needed each other, and then they’d talk, really talk, to each other. Matt and Polly, Claire and Jonathan, and then Tomasz would realise he had to go to Poland to get his family, and Tash would see how important love was and would give Max a chance. I know it seemed I was always chasing a happy ending for everyone I loved, and I was, but there was nothing wrong with that. It’s just what any loving cat would do.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  I was busy working out the finer points of my plan; I was still not one hundred per cent sure of all the details. Though my idea for getting my humans together was not dangerous, it was logistically complicated, and that was keeping me occupied. I also had a visit from Dustbin, who, true to his word, had his cat network – some feral like him, others domestic – all working on the mystery of the lamppost cats.

  He caught my attention while I was looking out of the front window. I ran round the back and we met in the garden.

  ‘Any news?’ I asked.

  ‘It is a problem. Some cats’ owners are so worried they won’t let them go out. It’s causing havoc among local cats. I think your street is the last street to be hit by whatever’s going on.’

  ‘So no one knows?’

  ‘Not yet, b
ut a very good friend of mine – Mr B, the cleverest cat I know – is on the case and he’s going to come and see me tonight. Just try to relax, keep an eye on your kitten and hopefully I’ll have news. I’ll try to come at the same time tomorrow, look out for me. I’d better go, it’s time for my lunch and I have to see off those pesky rodents too.’

  I said goodbye and went back to the house to worry. While the plan for my families wasn’t dangerous, we didn’t know what we were dealing with with the lamppost cats. There was so much piled up on my plate at the moment and it seemed to be mounting up.

  And George was getting into more and more trouble, which was threatening to distract me from the task at hand. He was becoming quite a paw-full. The other day, he had played with Jonathan’s favourite work tie and it looked a bit worse for wear when he’d finished with it. Jonathan was really angry, and of course somehow he blamed Claire and me. Claire told him he should focus on what was important, which just made him madder. They weren’t really talking to each other by the end of the day and George was still unsure what he’d done wrong. I tried to explain but actually I was trying to focus my energy on the bigger picture. I remember one of my families saying that with children you had to pick your battles. Stealing Jonathan’s tie didn’t really warrant too much of my attention – after all, he had loads more. Claire was right: Jonathan needed to worry about what was important and it wasn’t a silly tie. Although George hid from Jonathan for a while afterwards, I did tell him, yet again, that Jonathan was prone to flying off the handle but he usually calmed down quite quickly. I was used to him getting cross with me but quickly thawing anyway.

  And then one morning George had noticed that Claire was eating smoked salmon for breakfast, so while her back was turned he jumped onto the table and actually ate from her plate. Jonathan found this funny but Claire, who was a bit keen on everything being clean and not having cats on the table while they were eating, didn’t. This time she was cross; she put George on the floor and gave him a long lecture on hygiene, which I know he didn’t listen to, because I got bored halfway through and he had an even shorter attention span than me. After that I had taken him to Matt and Polly’s so we could lie low for a bit.