“I know. If only I could get her away from him,” he said.
Gabby realized that if Case had been in her life when everything went down with Danny, he might have believed her. Maybe he would’ve been the one to stick up for her. Then again, probably not. Her brother hadn’t. He’d told all his friends she was a liar. Of course, he was best buddies with Danny. He persuaded them that he was the honest one.
“Hey, why the long face?” Case asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she answered quickly with a smile. “I was thinking about the girl.”
“You sure?”
Gabby nodded.
“Okay, I gotta get this meeting underway. If I see her come in, I’ll give you a signal. But she’s waif-like with light brown hair. About five three—she has that typical look about her.”
“Gotcha. I’ll be on the lookout. What’s her name?”
“Juliana. No last name.”
Gabby sat at the back of the room by the door. One thing she was thankful for—she had never done drugs. These people were in a constant fight against their urges to self-medicate. She wanted to medicate herself, but with other things besides drugs. And even though her urges could be quite compelling, they weren’t mind bending and didn’t take away her ability to function. Her urges only led her to work too hard. But that was her main goal in life—to help others.
Case kicked off the meeting. Every time Gabby listened to him lead the group, she was amazed at his love for what he did here. He was so invested in this cause to help; it shone in every word, action, and deed. The group circled up and one by one shared their issues. Some were angry, some defeated, and some apathetic. But Case turned every emotion around and made each individual care about his or her own life, made them want to change.
By the time the meeting ended, he’d gained their commitment to stick with him for another day. Twenty-four hours to a drug addict was a lifetime. The sad thing was that Juliana never showed up and Gabby speculated if she was even still alive.
What Gabby failed to recognize was that one of the reasons she came here and gave of herself was that it validated her and gave her life the self-worth she’d never felt at home. As much as her psychiatry training had done for her, she’d never used it to delve into her own mind. She didn’t see the big hole that existed in her heart and soul because she refused to look.
She’d closed herself off from relationships. Though she had a few friends—Case, Sky, Ryder, and Cara—those closest to her knew very little about her past. She’d never had a boyfriend. She’d dated a guy once a few times and had sex, or what constituted as sex, but that was it. And afterward she thought it was okay, but not enough to open herself up to getting hurt. And the strangest thing of all was Gabby was so quick to recognize these complex issues in other people. If only she would take the time to look at herself, she could’ve healed the wound that had been created years ago.
Case snapped his fingers in front of her, trying to get her attention. She blinked a couple of times, then laughed.
“Sorry, I was on Mars.”
“I’ll say. What’s up with you tonight?”
“I’m super tired.”
“Well, I’m out of here. Can I get you a cab?”
“Oh, no. I’m taking the train.”
“No, you’re not. Not alone at night.”
She didn’t have the extra money but was embarrassed to tell him. “Case, it’s fine. I do it all the time. Besides, I’ll get home so much faster.”
“No. I know what happens on those trains when they’re empty at night. You’re taking a cab. No arguments.”
“You’re like a …”
“Big brother. I know.”
She didn’t say it but he was much better than her real big brother. “All righty. Shall we?”
They walked outside, arm in arm, and he hailed her a cab. When the ride arrived, she hopped in the back and Case handed the driver some cash.
“You don’t have to do that,” Gabby called from the back.
“You don’t have to give your services to my people for free, either. The ride’s on me. Talk to you later.” He tapped his hands on the roof of the car and it drove away.
The city lights flickered by as the cab sped toward the Upper East Side where Gabby lived. The NA meeting met near the intersection of Bleecker and Bowery Streets, close to NYU in Greenwich Village. Gabby loved that part of the city, but it was a bit too hectic for her. She liked the slower pace and the neighborhood feel of the Upper East Side, not to mention it was much easier for her to get to work since her office was only twenty blocks away from her apartment.
She huddled in the back seat as the chill of the early spring night seeped into her. Ideas of how she could stretch her monthly budget appeared in her head. She would have to figure out a way to cut costs. Where the hell would the cuts come from? It looked like peanut butter and bananas were going to be a mainstay of her diet again, like they were in med school.
Brushing those thoughts away, she enjoyed the scenery as the cab made its way uptown. The city sparkled with lights and Gabby loved how people milled around at all hours of the night. That’s one reason she adored New York so much. Growing up as isolated as she was, she loved the fact that she was immersed in Manhattan, a place that had a population of over one and half million people. She never felt alone here. When the cab pulled up in front of her building, she got out and marched to her cubbyhole of an apartment. There was a reason she was here, a reason she was doing all of this. And she was forging ahead with her dream. She didn’t care if it took everything she had she would never give up.
Chapter Six
The last few weeks had been extremely busy for Gabby and she knew she needed to trim back her schedule. A couple of weeks after her encounter with Danny, she’d begun to relax, thinking perhaps their most recent encounter had been nothing but idle threats. One night after moonlighting at the clinic to make a little extra money, she was so worn out, she didn’t bother eating dinner but got ready for bed and fell promptly asleep.
Her alarm went off while the night was still black as coal and it confused her. But it wasn’t her alarm after all; it was her ringing phone.
“Martinelli.”
“Hi, precious. Are you sleeping alone, or is your little boyfriend with you?”
Gabby sat up and her heart took off at a sprint. She fisted her pajamas and tried to calm down. But every damn time he called it was like this with her.
“You gonna answer me, cunt?” he hissed.
“Y-yeah. He’s here.”
“Prove it. Put him on the phone.”
Crap!
“Well? I’m waiting.”
Gabby could tell Danny had been drinking.
“He can’t come to the phone right now.”
Danny laughed. “So, where is he, precious?”
Gabby didn’t answer. It was no use. Danny knew Kolson wasn’t there. She went to end the call when his voice stopped her.
“Don’t you even think about hanging up on me, you stupid cunt.”
“What do you want?” She knew he could hear the tremors in her voice. It was no use trying to hide her fear.
“Do you really have to ask me that question?” He laughed and her skin prickled.
“I told you after the last time, there would be no more.”
He cackled again. “Yeah, well, you were wrong. There will be more. A lot more. Now that I’ve found you again, you’re not gonna be getting away from me very easily. So get used to it. You can tell your little boyfriend that I’m not afraid of him, either. By the way, I saw your folks the other night. Told them I was heading this way. You know what they said to me? They told me to stay away from you. Said you were bad news. Isn’t that sweet of them?”
“Fuck off, Danny. You’re nothing but a sick bastard.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But you liked it when I fucked you hard. I remember how you begged, Gabby.”
She threw her phone across the room and it broke into several
pieces. She didn’t know what time it was, nor did she care. All she knew was she had to get out of there. In minutes, the walls would close in on her. She tugged on a running bra and shorts, a T-shirt and shoes. She didn’t even bother putting her hair in a ponytail. Out the door she went.
As soon as she hit the lobby, she took off like a rocket. It was either really late or really early, because no one was out and about, which was totally unlike New York City. She spotted an occasional man or woman, but she kept on running. When she arrived at the border of Central Park, she decided against going into the park itself. That wouldn’t be smart. Being out at this hour was pretty damn stupid as it was, but right now she was a pressure cooker and this was her release valve. She’d take her chances.
There had to be a solution for all this. There had to be a way for her to be rid of Danny, once and for all. The scars on her wrist tingled briefly, reminding her of what had been her solution in the past. She wasn’t going down that road again. She was determined to find another way, because she had a mission to complete.
The wind whipped her hair around her face, but she barely noticed. She hardly felt it when it stung her cheeks, either. Her shoes chewed up the sidewalk and she ran and ran until her legs felt like jelly and the sky was lightening.
It wasn’t long before the streets were shredding the loneliness of the night as people emerged from their apartments. More runners and walkers appeared, some with dogs, others just out to pick up coffee or breakfast, perhaps for family members or loved ones. As Gabby moved along, the aroma of coffee brewing and freshly baked bread wafted in the air around her. It occurred to her then just how abnormal her life was. She should be out here picking up breakfast, instead of running to expunge her crazy-assed cousin from her head. Fucked up beyond anything, she thought.
Danny was the root of all her issues. He had warped her life until she felt she had no other choice than to try to end it all. The last holiday she’d spent with her family was when she was seventeen. That was right after her final attempt. They didn’t even want her there because she was an embarrassment to them. She had been the unwanted piece of furniture that no one wanted to sit on. Shunned by those who should’ve loved and protected her, she never spent another holiday with them after her release from the hospital.
When she came home, they isolated her in her room and avoided her like she was diseased. If only she’d known the proper way to slit one’s wrist, she would’ve been out of their hair long ago. It was odd to her that she spent so much time thinking about the people who had ripped her heart to shreds. Why was that? Why couldn’t she move on and forget about them? Just go forward and not live through those hateful memories again?
“He hurt me! He raped me. Did awful things to me. Why won’t you believe me?”
“Gabby, quit telling those lies! Danny wouldn’t do those things. You need to stop making those stories up. Get your head out of those books you read and get a grip.”
“Dad, I am telling the truth.”
“There you go, being difficult again. Drop it, girl!”
“Gabby! What the hell are you doing out here? All alone?”
His voice jolted her out of her horrid memory. It was Kolson.
“Um, running.” He was dressed much like she was—running attire from head to toe, except he wore fancy earbuds and carried a phone.
Chestnut tendrils swept over her face, and she pushed them away. Her breathing was heavy from running and he fixated on her mouth … the one that was slightly too wide, but in the dim light, all he wanted to do was touch it, lick it. Her pink tongue poked out to dab her bottom lip and it nearly undid him. He wanted to bind her hands behind her back and bury his own in her dark strands. Then he wanted to haul her body up close so he could bite her wet lips. Hell, his dick was probably making a damn show in his shorts right now.
He clamped a hand around her arm and pulled her to the side of the walkway. “Are you intentionally trying to put yourself in danger?”
Who was this guy and why was he doing this to her? “Why are you so interested in my welfare?”
Kolson stared at her for a moment. Her question caught him off guard. He had to admit he couldn’t come close to having a good answer for her. Why was he doing this? He couldn’t very well tell her he wanted to fuck her. Nor could he tell her that he felt like they were kindred souls. She would think him crazy.
“Because someone has to, damn it. It’s obvious you’re oblivious to the dangers around you. Your cousin Danny could be out here. Or have you forgotten already?”
“Of course I haven’t forgotten!” How could he possibly think that?
She tried to snatch her arm out of his grasp, but he only tightened it. “You seem to be some kind of, oh, I don’t know, magnet for danger. Or maybe you’re one of those women who seeks out danger. Are you, Gabby?”
“No! I can’t believe you would even suggest that.”
“What would you think if you were in my shoes? Look around you. How many single women do you see out here jogging?”
She took a quick look around and didn’t see one.
“That’s right. There aren’t any. Do you have any pepper spray with you? Anything to protect yourself with?” He shook his head. Then he marched her in the opposite direction of her apartment. She had to jog to keep up with him.
“Let go of me.”
He paid her no attention. They entered a large, beautiful building and she remembered it from the other morning. It was his building.
He punched the elevator button with the side of his fist. When the doors opened, he nearly threw her inside. That’s when he released her to enter a series of codes on the elevator panel. No doubt she would have a bruise where he’d held her. But worse than that, he frightened her. Lids dropping to half-staff and mouth forming a thin crease, his nostrils flared as he stared her down. She backed into the corner, afraid he was going to hit her.
When the doors opened again, they were in his penthouse. “Come on,” he said, voice curt.
Shaking her head, she said, “I’m not going in there. You could be a lunatic.”
“If that were the case, you would’ve seen crazy way before now.”
“I’m not going and you can’t make me.”
He glowered at her and said, “Oh, yes, you are.” He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She kicked and pounded her fists into his back, but it didn’t faze him in the least.
Gabby wasn’t sure whether she was more frightened or infuriated by his actions. When he reached the den, he plopped her on to the sofa. She scrambled to her feet, spitting fire.
“What the hell was that all about? You can’t just pick me up and toss me around like you own me!”
“I told you. You have no business being out and about like that, all by yourself, unprotected.”
“And just who do you think you are? My dad or something?”
“I would like to think your father would protect you better than that.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, for your information, my dad doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me. He thinks I’m nothing but a pain in the ass. I don’t even speak to him!” And then her fingers covered the lips he was dying to touch as the pink coloring her cheeks turned ashen. She’d never breathed a word about her past to anyone. Ever. Her hands flew to her head as she stood there, shocked that those secretive words had rushed past her lips, words she kept tightly locked away from everyone.
She sucked in her breath and darted out of the room, knowing it was silly to do so, because she had no idea where she was going. She opened the first set of double doors she saw. Pushing one wide enough for her to slip through, she stepped inside and kept moving. She didn’t stop until she reached a huge window that overlooked the park and stared at the view as her ridiculous actions replayed themselves in her head.
Damn it, Gabby, what the hell were you thinking?
“What exactly did Danny do to you, Gabriella?”
The words were soft and the fact that he’d used h
er full name didn’t register. But the question itself did. It sounded like he screamed it at her.
“He didn’t do anything to me!” she shouted. Deny. Deny. Deny.
“Yes, he did. Your words contradict your actions.”
She pushed her tangled hair off her face and that’s when he caught a glimpse of her scars. His hand wrapped around hers and he pulled it toward him. With his index finger, he lightly probed the raised lines left behind by the box cutter. She tried to wrench free from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Oh, Gabriella. Everyone carries scars. You, of all people, should know that.”
“Yeah, well, had I been smart enough to know I needed to run the blade in the direction of my veins, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Is that what you wanted? Would you have preferred death?”
“At one time, yes. But I don’t feel that way that anymore. Having experienced that gave me my life’s mission. To make sure no one ever has to go through what I did and deal with the shit the way I did.”
Kolson furrowed his brow as he stared at her. “What did that bastard do to you?”
In a low voice fraught with unease, she said, “Don’t you remember what I told you, Skippy? I’m the great secret-keeper. I’ll never tell.”
Kolson took a deep breath and clenched his teeth. Gabby saw the tiny muscle in his jaw twitch.
“Yeah, you will. One day I’ll get it out of you.”
“Oh? How’re you going to do that?”
He blinked, once, and then said, “Like this.” The hand that was holding hers tugged her hard and she fell against him, right into his arms. Before she knew what he’d planned, his mouth crashed into hers, and he kissed her. Hard. Without apology. Taking everything he wanted. And he smiled inside when he felt her respond. Her arms weren’t gentle when they grabbed him around his neck. She pulled him closer, as if that were even a possibility.
Gabby sighed against his lips and realized she had been kissed in the past, but never like this. Kolson kissed her with ruthless precision, exacting everything he wanted from her, his tongue merciless against hers as he tantalized and teased her into a state of sexual need. Without any deliberation, her hands fingered their way into his thick hair and seized it by the fistfuls as he continued to caress her mouth with his own. Dizzy with passion, all thoughts of resistance were gone as Kolson grabbed a chunk of her hair and tugged her head back. Her lips were puffy and glistening from his kisses. He took the tip of his tongue and ran it beneath the curve of her lower lip, ever so slightly, so she barely felt it. He heard the whistle of her breath as she inhaled, and he heard it again when he repeated the motion on her upper lip.
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