The Guardian: A NOVEL

by Pamela Ann

  If he went to back with her, well, I’d always have Japan to remember him by. But I wouldn’t hold him back. Nor did I consider begging. We’d been there before, and it was a route I passionately refused to take again. So, I would let him go, set my love free to be happy with her.

  My eyes welled with tears as I turned the shower dial on. I’d been so blinded by my own selfishness I’d forgotten about Rose’s mighty effect on him.

  My chest ached as I diligently scrubbed my body. Evident marks of Jared’s biting marred my skin. His semen still spurted out of my slit. I lost count how often he came inside me. After the fifth time, I stopped taking note.

  Even though he couldn’t seem to get enough of me, at the end of the day, this was all physical. Just good old sex. No more, no less.

  The shower’s steam did little to calm and lift my spirits and unsteady heart. Finishing up, I haphazardly wrapped my body in a white fluffy towel before getting out of the walk-in shower. I was so engrossed with my own thoughts I didn’t spot Jared leaning against the marbled counter, arms on his chest, deeply pondering.

  My breath caught in my throat as my heart rapidly accelerated. As I eyed him tentatively, his stance brought little to ease my anxiety. His forlorn countenance spoke out loud. The man didn’t bear good news.

  It merely took one look at him and I knew just then that Jared was about to leave me again. The ache gnawed deeper into my heart. But this time, I was quite prepared for this damning exchange. “So, I guess that's short-lived. If you're taking the time to tell me you're walking away again, save your breath, Jared. No need to ween me off. I’m a big girl. Fear not, I won’t hold you back. You can freely go now.” Without throwing him another lingering gaze, I steeled my resolve as I went past him, heading towards my closet to change. But then Jared forcefully yanked me back, pulling me into his arms, holding me down.

  His head sought the nook of my neck, breathing me in before expelling a strangled breath. “I’m not going anywhere without you, kitten.”

  All tension in my body evaporated in a heartbeat. The urge to cry was extraordinary, but instead of spilling tears, I clung onto him, sending a small silent prayer to not take him away from me, too.

  We remained thus, quite frozen as we comforted each other with our warmth. No words were spoken, but based on our rapid heart rates, I knew he felt just as I did.

  After a good minute or two, I slowly pulled away a little so I could see his gorgeous face. His eyes shone brightly. A different mixture of emotions ran deep within his soul. Stark and vivid. Undefended and profound. “What's with the sad face, my love?”

  He shook his head before sighing and kissing my forehead. “She didn't make it easy. She went off. She went utterly ballistic, hurling insults, throwing things at me before she threatened to kill herself...That’s why I took forever to get back—I had to have someone watch over her for a while. The doctor and his appointed nurses will be taking turns for suicide watch. I feel utterly terrible, but I can’t stay with her. I need you, Gisele. You’ve ingrained yourself in my life. Letting you go is unfathomable to me. I need to be with you desperately.”

  Jesus…Rose went crazy when Jared broke it off with her? I understood the hurt. I was in the same boat not long ago, but to go to such an extent? I couldn’t even dare try to comprehend her kind of reasoning. But each person processed pain differently. Her journey differed from mine. Each story different, singularly setting us on a unique path to embark. Mine might be more painful than hers. And I supposed, as time went on, I simply got used to it. Life experiences toughened one’s resolve. My armor, though cracked and chipped, was impenetrable.

  My thumbs brushed over his eyebrows, hoping to ease his furrowed brows into submission. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. But are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

  He shrugged before lifting his arm, baring thin superficial wounds. “Just a few scratches. Not a big deal.”

  My stomach lurched at the sight of his blood. “Jesus! Let me get a first aid kit.” I tried to untangle his steel band of arms, but he wouldn’t let me move. “Let me just take care of that. Then we can carry on holding each other, okay?”

  “I need to hold on for a little longer. Is that so much to ask, kitten?”

  I shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat. “No, of course not.” What happened out there? I wanted to ask. He seemed somewhat traumatized by Rose’s rejection of a break-up. Needing to comfort him, my hands rubbed his back.

  “I have a confession to make.” I found myself saying, needing to free the truth before it slipped out of my mind.

  “What?”

  “It’s about Wyatt.”

  He groaned, sounding beyond shattered. “Save it for another time. I beg of you.”

  “It’s not that bad. It’s just that I knew I promised before…maybe it doesn’t matter since we weren’t anything then—maybe, I don’t know? But after my birthday, Wyatt came back with me and slept the night here. Nothing happened; however, it wasn’t for his lack of trying. I just wanted to tell you that…is all.”

  He hastily pulled me close to his face. Cerulean blues bore into mine before his serious face broke into a massive grin, disconcerting me.

  “You didn’t have sex with him?”

  I timidly nodded, biting my bottom lip, unsure of his weird upbeat demeanor. “Yes, you heard me right the first time. How could I after what we just shared?”

  He let out a boisterous laugh before picking up my body and hoisting it over his shoulder then smacking the right cheek with avid gusto. Dropping me on the bed, Jared’s happy face hovered above me as he yanked the towel off of my body.

  “You ought to be punished for putting me through hell, woman!” He chuckled as his fingers slipped into my folds, ready to give me a punishing, back-breaking multitude of earth-shattering orgasms.

  This was his way of punishment—no reprieve until my body and mind wholeheartedly surrendered to him.

  I was his. Undeniably and irrevocably his.

  30

  Jared

  Rose’s erratic behavior stunned me. I’d expected anger. Hell, even a fiery display of wrath and maybe even a little vase throwing and what of it, but never in my wildest imagination had I envisaged her truly losing her wits.

  She was in shambles, utterly blitzed out of her maniacal mind as she clung to my leg, vowing never to let me go. She was inconsolable and even made a random attempt in trying to get a hold of a knife, threatening she’d end her life once I walked out of the door. After an hour’s worth of cajoling her to see sense to no avail, I knew contacting the professionals was the best route to take. At the rate she was going, if I didn’t call in for help, she’d have most likely harmed us both. I wasn’t necessarily worried about me, but Rose’s frame of mind. The more prolonged the agony, the more time it would need for her to heal. I simply wanted her to be back to her old self and not the possessed woman whose demonic eyes I couldn’t forget as she charged at me, shrilling like a crazed woman.

  Guilt took hold of me. Shame even. I knew she was in love with me, and yet, I didn’t have the wherewithal to let her go since I needed some consoling of my own, thanks to my damaged pride and ego after believing Gisele had betrayed me. But as Gisele had revealed, she couldn’t touch another man after our quick tryst in her bedroom.

  There was no question how relieved and elated I was after learning the fact of what transpired between Rinaldi and her that night. We could’ve avoided so many arguments had she and I communicated. But with my monumental ego bruised, I continued down a destructive path, believing I had every right to feel the way I did. Hence, my reluctance to fully acknowledge Rose’s every-growing emotions for me.

  Nevertheless, I was dealing the best way I knew possible and handling the delicate situation with immense care.

  It had been a week since I’d left Rose’s home. She was in on-going therapy at a facility where she’d be staying for the next three weeks. Her assista
nt was taking care of her business while she was in treatment. I had yet to hear from her doctor, waiting for the signal I could go in and visit her. My guilt wouldn’t easily diminish, and I doubted it would anytime soon. I hoped to see her in a more rational state of mind so I could fully apologize for my actions.

  Gisele had been patient and didn’t question whatever actions I had taken in regard to Rose. I’d actually expected some reluctance or some spitefulness since she had loathed the woman ever since we married, but I hadn’t heard a negative peep out of her. She had stated she trusted me implicitly. A shocking revelation even after what had happened between us, and I admit, she had no idea how much burden it had lifted off of me. I was undeserving of her trust, but she had given it to me, anyway. I should strongly feel the same sentiment towards her, but somehow, there was still a little nagging voice that didn’t fully trust her when it came to Wyatt. Though I had given her a wide berth, there was still a tiny speck of doubt. One, I believed, wasn’t fading anytime soon.

  Tonight, we were celebrating Thanksgiving. My mother was coming over. So were Vivienne and her twin siblings, Gisele’s friend Ginny, and one of my colleagues and a trusted friend who also was personally recruited by Peter from India. Anahl Redy, or A for short since he didn’t like to be teased by fellow workers because his name sounded like a blatant invitation to be shagged in the bottom, handled the mainframe computers and the very one that specifically handled and updated the compound’s computer and security framework. In the past week, I had come across a secret secured pressurized door in the basement which closely resembled the vaults in the banks but with a modernized design, and I wondered if Anahl knew about it. Apart from myself, he, too, spent quite an amount of time down in the basement when he had to do his rounds of updates and scans. He also was one of our top research and development engineers and one of the very few members Peter trusted with his life’s work and secret projects. We were a team of five, the core team and the brains behind the company.

  I had accidentally discovered the door through a white paneled wall, leading through a secret one flight of stairs towards the dark room to a blue-lighted door. The house was riddled with panic rooms, but this wasn’t one of them. Peter kept me up to date the best he could but never once mentioned anything about a secured armored door. It specifically required a twenty-five-key code with only one attempt before it fully deadbolted itself. Even if I had the capability of getting the right code, I would at least need two to three attempts to get it right. My piqued curiosity wouldn’t ebb. As a result, I was hoping Anahl would shed some light on it.

  My mother arrived at thirty past five, a little tipsy for my liking. Alas, she was merry and had a massive grin on her face. She and I were in the kitchen with Thomas hovering in the background while I waited for Gisele to come down and join us. The guests were to arrive in half an hour’s time. She and I had just finished a sweaty romp on the bed, so she was immobile for almost an hour since she didn’t have the energy to move a muscle.

  The minx had turned into a gluttonous hellion. Each morning, I’d wake up wet from her essence. She took liberties with my sleeping state, grinding her cunt on my length, rubbing it until she came. She left the fucking and deep penetrations to yours truly. Left to her own devices, the nymph got off clitoral stimulation; hence, the morning rubdown. Obviously, I’d be greeted with a throbbing hard-on, and with her gone to school, I was left to fend for myself. I loved it all. The very thought of her riding me because she couldn’t help herself made me all sorts of proud of her, but the only downside was the blue balls. However, I supposed, as long as she was sated and happy, I wouldn’t mind the painful reminder of her wantonness. Although she didn’t have school this morning, she had to wake early since she and the girls had to do their yearly volunteer work serving food to the homeless. Before she left, she did her usual routine. This time, I let the throb linger.

  The moment the little sexy nympho walked into the foyer, I hoisted her sweet body over my shoulder and locked ourselves in the bedroom for two hours. One didn’t have to guess how sexually frustrated I was. Her screams were a testament in themselves. She could rub and come all she liked, but she had to be prepared for my retaliation.

  All three of her holes were ravaged in varying momentums.

  Life with Gisele sure wasn’t dull.

  “I’m delighted you’ve moved back in.” My mother broke through my thoughts, studying me as she sipped on her red wine. “May I ask how things are between you and Gisele?”

  Curious as ever, I had no doubt my mother wouldn’t leave until she had all the information to be reassured I was not intending to make another hasty exit. She adored Gisele, and upon hearing I was back to where I should be…Well, ecstatic would be too mild a word to express how delighted Abigail St. James was.

  Snickering at her overly expectant face, I toyed with my drink before taking a hefty gulp. “We’re working things out. I’m pleased we did…It’s been a hellish time. But here we are, and it’s high time she and I come together to sort this marriage out.”

  My mother sputtered some of her wine. “Oh, dear,” she gasped as she wiped her lips before grinning madly at me. “I knew your jealous arse wouldn’t be able to stand it! She’s your wife, a beautiful, sweet, intelligent young woman whom you chose to abandon due to whatever pitiful reasons you generated in your brilliant mind. Obviously, not all men were created equal. Some brighter than others…some complete idiots, and some appreciate and see the value of such a woman. The second you mentioned she was entertaining men, it was only a matter of time until your possessive nature kicked in. Good thing it did jumpstart at the right time. Can you imagine what it’d be like if she fell in love with someone else? You’d be gutted again, my dear.”

  Over the years, my mother had an insufferable trait of easily reading through my bullshit. In the end, she was always right. This instance with Gisele wasn’t an exception. “Try not to point out your son’s misgivings to my wife. Nor the mention of my past…I’ll deal with it in due time.”

  “As you wish.” She surprised me with a hug before she kissed my cheek. “You deserve this happiness, my stubborn child. Don’t let your guilt dictate how you live anymore. You’ve paid enough. You’ve done enough. Let her light in and let her love heal you. You won’t regret it.”

  I knew Thomas could very well hear our conversation, so I merely nodded, feeling the weight of her words.

  “Abigail, it’s good to see you again.” Gisele strode into the kitchen, dressed in an emerald dress that stopped above her knees.

  My chest constricted at the sight of her. I’d had her merely an hour ago, and yet, my body still hungrily responded to hers as though it had never had a taste of her.

  “You look lovely, dear.” My mother gave her a warm hug before adoringly kissing her cheek.

  Gisele then placed her hand on the side of my hip before kissing my neck. “Sorry I took a little longer than promised.”

  This little display of intimacy caught me unawares, but instead of panicking, warmth filled me, dawning just how much I actually enjoyed this new phase she and I were sharing.

  Dinner was a lax affair. Thomas, who was always so formal, actually got so inebriated Gisele and I had to help him to his private quarters. The rest of the party carried on drinking, and it didn’t end until almost three in the morning. For as long as I could remember, I hadn’t laughed and enjoyed other people’s company the way I had last night. Reservations had been thrown out the window the more I drank. Had it not been for my mother and Gisele’s help, I’d have struggled my way around the house.

  I fell asleep even before my face hit the pillow. Sliding in and out of consciousness, I vaguely recalled Gisele helping me out of my clothes and running a warm cloth over my face before kissing me goodnight.

  The next morning, I woke up with a splitting migraine. I indulged in having a drink or two on a daily basis, but never to this excessive extent. This was the fun price of overindulgence.

  Gru
mbling a moan, my eyes squinted at the bright room. The time indicated ten in the morning.

  Hell, I had overslept.

  I was up at sixty-thirty every day without fail—well, apart for on occasions when Gisele was in bed with me. That was when my schedule began to falter, and my mundane rules tended to be momentarily forgotten.

  Gisele’s side was empty, darkening my mood further. Where was she? Lightly shoving the covers, I checked to see if she had ridden me the way she always did, but this time, there wasn’t a hint of her on me.

  “Gisele?” I called out and was met with silence.

  Strenuously, it took a great deal of effort to slip out of bed then drag my bloody arse to the bathroom to shower, needing to wash the heavy stench of alcohol off my skin. Once done, I strode out with a towel carelessly slung around my hips as I headed towards the door. Before I did so, I quickly glanced at Gisele’s closet and found my clothes strewn on the large ottoman. Was she trying to move my things into her own space? I snickered, amused by her keenness to truly welcome me back home.

  Walking out of her bedroom, I directly went into mine, only to find her in the middle of my closet space, gripping the frame I’d hidden in my drawer. My heart lurched into my throat, halting my world altogether. Gisele’s glacial stare went straight into my bones, freezing my ability to function.

  “Skeletons in the closet,” she uttered in a chilling, hair-raising manner. “Who’d have thought you’re one for banal adages.”

  Dread ricocheted all over me as I cautiously took a few steps with my arm stretched out, needing to get to her before she pushed me away. “I can explain.”

  “Explain?” she faintly hissed as her eyes pinned me on the spot. “You’ve kept this a secret!” Her arm raised in the air, gripping the weathered frame I was actually quite terrified she’d drop and break.