The Chaotic Stone Sauna

by Nagaharu Hibihana

  “Ohh, is that...?”

  “The armor from the demon lord’s castle...”

  “I heard even the Pauls’ smithy couldn’t handle it...”

  Three cats and a human were sitting in the audience seats. All of them had connections to smithing and wanted to have a glance at the Magic Eater after hearing about it. Apparently word had spread that even Pardoe, a top blacksmith of Hephaestusopolis, couldn’t put a dent in the armor, but still made an attempt using the blessing of the Goddess of Fire.

  And then reports regarding Hadesopolis, located in the middle of the void, started spreading. Haruno had started giving out the information back in Athenapolis. The information source was only supposed to be the temple of the Goddess of Light, but somehow word started spreading from another goddess’ temple. In the end, people were wondering where exactly the information had come from, and my name started drawing attention for being the Hero of the Goddess who had defeated a demon general.

  At this point, it wasn’t hard to guess that my Magic Eater had come from Hadesopolis. And then naturally, everyone realized that I had gone to Hadesopolis. I had predicted this much, in fact. Since I figured this would happen, I made Clena and the others stay behind as I trained with Rulitora.

  That was also the reason why I let the audience continue to watch me. If that weren’t the case, then I’d have left the training ground already long ago. Not only had I accepted that things would turn out this way, I had given the okay for Haruno to spread the word.

  The first and most important reason was that Haruno and Sera would be most at risk if the information stayed hidden, since they were surrounded by the pilgrims who were followers of the Goddess of Light. Just because they were followers of the Goddess of Light didn’t mean they were to be blindly trusted, so I needed a way to separate Haruno’s party from the rest of them. It would have been dangerous to cut the relationship between them when she was still new and inexperienced, but their monster subjugations worked perfectly to make Haruno stronger. That was why I thought it’d be okay to spread the information. Or rather, I had given Haruno the green light to share what we knew with the public. As a result, all but three pilgrims had left Haruno’s side, but I bet those three would be able to protect Haruno just fine.

  Of course, I didn’t assume that I was safe on my end, either. Back when my Magic Eater was still being tuned, Mark had asked me something.

  “Why do you keep the Unlimited Bath a secret?” he asked.

  In fact, I wasn’t exactly trying to hide my Unlimited Bath. I wasn’t hiding the Bath itself, but rather, the fact that I had no gift other than the Bath. I didn’t have a battle-oriented gift such as the Unlimited Bullet that the hero Cosmos had, and I didn’t want anyone to know that. I wanted them to keep thinking I had some sort of unknown power.

  At the time, I didn’t know how to use any weapons and only knew the most basic of basic cleric spells. If my gift was revealed back then, it would have also been revealed that I had no fighting power, and I would essentially have been left stripped bare. Thinking about it that way, it was obvious why I needed to hide the existence of my Unlimited Bath. Though it was also true that back then, I was too embarrassed to announce “mixed bathing is my gift!”

  I explained everything I could to Mark, but wasn’t sure how much of it he understood. He probably just thought I should be more proud of my gift since it was so convenient.

  So I had kept my Unlimited Bath a secret for those cowardly reasons back then, but now my MP and MEN stats were shooting off my status card and I had my cleric spells. I also had my Magic Eater and several more weapons and items that we had retrieved from the demon lord’s castle. And above all, I had the achievement of slaying a demon general in Hadesopolis. So the information leak might have exposed me to the threat of danger, but I had the proper resources to defend against it now. Haruno was important to me, but so were Clena and the other girls. I couldn’t make light of one or the other. I only recommended this information leak after making sure that both of our parties would be safe.

  I also had two goals of my own.

  One was my reputation as a hero. Maybe that sounded a little snobby, but this would plant my reputation in solid ground and allow me to see Haruno again one day. To get back on the original topic, that was the reason I kept using the training ground even while knowing there were people watching. You could say I was putting on a show.

  The rumors that I had brought along a terrifying-looking set of armor from the demon lord’s castle, and the rumor that I had defeated a demon general somewhere, transformed into a rumor that I had killed a demon general at the demon lord’s castle. And then, since they could see me wearing the Magic Eater in person, that rumor started to gain credibility. Maybe I was getting a little too full of myself for thinking this way, but seeing a giant sand lizardman fight against the figure of a black demon would convince the vast majority of people that the story was true. I hadn’t actually obtained the Magic Eater before I defeated Goldfish, but that didn’t matter.

  The ketolt group who had come to watch me kept looking on at our mock battle while whispering among themselves.

  Shakova was among them—or rather, it looked like he had been dragged in to explain things.

  Apparently questions on how my Spirit Dash, which was built off of Summon Earth Spirit, worked were among the most frequently asked. Well, they were seeing my massive set of armor gliding effortlessly at speeds far beyond that of normal running. Of course people would be curious.

  I had spent this week getting used to “steering” the suit of armor, and was now gliding along at massive speeds that must have looked very unsteady from an outsider’s perspective. It was surprisingly easy to guide myself along as long as I kept moving. I needed to plan when to stop, though.

  Rulitora was also getting plenty of attention from our mock battles. People were amazed at how this battle raver had managed to block all of my quick speed shots.

  I knew how they felt. During this whole week of mock battles, I had yet to land a single hit on him.

  I bet the match would be more even if I let myself use magic. I was keeping myself from casting any spells for the sake of training—that was my excuse, at least.

  My second goal was laying down the groundwork, so to speak. We were having Pardoe and the others appraise the weapons we had brought from Hadesopolis now. Shakova said he’d help with the appraisals whenever he had time, but right now he was busying himself with answering questions from anyone in the audience. He was a bit of a show-off.

  The items that had been appraised were sorted into three categories: Magical items, non-magical items that still held value as antiques, and normal old items.

  We didn’t hesitate on what to do about that last category. Since most of them couldn’t even be used anymore, they couldn’t be sold either. About 70% of the weapons we had obtained from Hadesopolis fell into this category. We tried to reforge any of the weapons that looked like they only needed a little repairing, and if that didn’t work, we would just recycle the metal into pots, pans, and utensils.

  Among the normal old items, about 20% of them could be reforged. But if you looked at it another way, 80% of them could be reused as scrap metal. Shakova said that if we also gathered any metal ornaments, we could have quite the pile.

  This kind of work was left for apprentices, in this case Mark. Since it was apprentice work, it didn’t cost that much for us, and the price was easily set as the value of the scrap iron offset by the service fee. Everything was transported over to Shakova’s workshop, and since it was a large order, he had other apprentices in the neighborhood come in to help and made it a big party. Apparently opportunities like this didn’t come up very often, and they couldn’t skip on the chance to have other apprentices learn and participate in this “festival.” It went without saying, but the always-showy Shakova was the one behind this ruckus. This was part of laying the groundwork for me, so I didn’t bother to hold him back.

 
The weapons we had brought with us were exceptional in both amount and quality. They were untouched antiques, since we had practically brought the demon lord’s storehouse itself with us. If it weren’t for my Unlimited Bath, we wouldn’t have been able to carry so much with us. Which brought us to the next issue—how we’d explain having so much to sell. How did we obtain so much in the first place?

  One solution would be to sell the items a few at a time, but since we’d keep stocking up quality weapons, people would wonder how we had gotten our hands on them. There was the even possibility that people would accuse us of selling counterfeits. But if we added my name into this, as the hero who returned alive after defeating a demon general in the demon lord’s castle, the scenario would change a bit. The goods for sale would now hold some persuasive power. We’d just say that the weapons were the ones that the Hero of the Goddess brought in.

  This was the groundwork for how we would sell the antique and magical items. Let me explain the remaining two categories of weapons, then.

  First was the antiques—we had the options of selling them off or keeping them with us. They served no practical use and could only be displayed as collector’s items. They held historical value, so just owning one would raise the value of a collection. We wouldn’t have any problems storing them within the Unlimited Bath, either.

  As they were goods from a ruined kingdom, they would definitely fetch a high price. The main problem would be that we’d need to find someone who collected these kinds of assets.

  Last were the weapons with spells cast on them—we were still undecided on what to do with them. They would fetch an enormous sum on the market, that much was certain. However, magic weapons were considered very hard to find. They were a scarcity. It wasn’t like there were none on the market, but items that lined the storefronts were usually stuff cast with the most rudimentary craftsman spell.

  “What’s the spell, by the way?”

  “Rustproofing, meow.”

  That was an excerpt from my conversation with Pardoe the other day. Rustproofing was an elementary craftsman spell that simply made it harder for metallic items to rust. Apparently it was a highly valued spell in the south, where it was close to the ocean.

  Monsters that only took damage against magic weapons apparently existed, but even a spell like that would make the weapon effective against them. It was just that a weaker spell meant weaker attack power.

  What I wanted to say after all that was—if we could keep the magic weapons to ourselves, then there was essentially no point in selling them. Also, weapons weren’t the only thing we had brought back from Hadesopolis.

  First, there was the magic bookshelf that kept all the books inside from deteriorating. In addition, we had expensive-looking furniture, jewels and other ornaments, and a few chests’ worth of gold coins. The gold coins were from 500 years ago, bit since it was a common currency under the Olympus Alliance, they were still usable today. We had enough gold coins to get us through our travels for the next little while, so we could just get the appraisals done now and sell our items in another country. In fact, Pardoe and Shakova themselves said that the items would fetch higher prices in another country. The ornaments especially would sell better in a country that “used” things, rather than Hephaestus, which “made” things. It sounded obvious now that I thought about it.

  According to Clena, there was a southern country along the coast called Neptunepolis, the “country of merchants,” and it may be worth visiting. But before that, I wanted to get some real world experience fighting in my armor.

  After I finished my training, I went back to Pardoe’s mansion, where Clena and the others came to greet me. Of course, I had my armor off already. Hephaestus was still a hot country. Walking around in a pure black full suit of armor was a little... no, very taxing.

  As soon as I stepped in the yard, Rakti jumped toward me in her maid outfit and gave me a big embrace. Then Rium trotted over to me and I pet her head. Next, Roni tried approaching me diagonally from behind wearing the same maid uniform Rakti had on, but Clena held her back and gave me a warm smile. Looking at her in the sleeveless dress that even an amateur could tell was well-made, I was reminded that she was an aristocrat. Though she had a sword hanging from her waist. The light, see-through cape she was wearing invoked a cool sensation in contrast to this hot country right next to a volcano.

  Roni said the Clena of the past never wore anything sleeveless regardless of the temperature because she was concerned about her body image. She had been traumatized by always being treated as the fat one when she was young. But every night, I told her through my words, behavior, and actions that it was nothing to worry about and that I thought it was rather attractive. The results of that materialized as her now wearing a sleeveless dress like this.

  I mean, maybe she was a little fleshy, but she wasn’t fat at all. This wasn’t a matter of my personal preferences, but that she was honestly as slender as any ordinary girl in town. I’d argue that the young ladies around Clena back then were simply too thin.

  Thinking back on it, the princess of the royal family that the hero Cosmos had managed to invite into his party was also quite thin. Maybe that was just the vibe the nobles in this world wanted to go for.

  “Wh-what are you doing...?” Clena asked, her cheeks turning red. I had accidentally started staring at her.

  “No, I was just wondering... if you were pinching your belly fat every night.”

  “Wanna go for training round 2?”

  I mumbled my answer, which made Clena bring her face close and place a hand on the hilt of the sword hanging from her waist.

  I’m only saying this just in case, but everything I did from washing the girls’ hair to scrubbing their backs to touching their bellies to touching anywhere else was always done under their explicit permission. Clena had Roni as her attendant who took care of her daily needs, but Rium and Rakti had no such personal attendant besides me, and Roni enjoyed having me wash her in the bath, too. Clena didn’t want to be the only one left out, so she let me wash her hair on a daily basis.

  The skill I had become most proficient in since being summoned to this world might actually have been treating other girls’ hair. Seriously. Though half of that was due to the shampoo my MP created.

  “By the way, who are they?” I brought my face closer to Clena’s until we were leaning into each other just enough for no one else to hear. I was looking at six armed men who had gathered themselves at the entrance of Pardoe’s mansion. Two of them were standing stoically upright on the left and right sides of the door. The remaining four didn’t command as much presence, but definitely didn’t look like they were slacking, either.

  All of them were wearing mostly light armor. They looked like battle ravers at a glance from the way their burly arms were exposed from their shoulders down, but looking closer, I noticed that their armor was heavily decorated with exquisite ornaments. Their light armor was most likely due to Hephaestus’ temperatures, and their positions required them to keep their outward appearances in shape.

  Roni then approached me, tip-toeing a little to whisper into my ear, “Sir Touya, you have a guest. Look over there.”

  “A carriage? It looks high-class.”

  Roni pointed toward Pardoe’s yard, where I saw an elaborate-looking carriage parked next to ours. Our carriage was a four-wheeled covered wagon you’d typically see in western films used for traveling long distances. The other was a prim and proper-looking red carriage.

  “So those six are the guards of whoever owns the carriage... are there more inside?”

  “There’s four more inside.”

  “They all seemed pretty strong.”

  “...Not surprising.”

  It was obvious enough from the six at the entrance. I’d gotten better at recognizing these sorts of situations lately.

  “They must be a customer since they’re inside the shop, but... who in the world is it?”

  “Well... you’re gonna
be surprised.”

  “What?” I approached the front door while we conversed, but then the door suddenly slammed open and a large red-headed man sprang out.

  “Ohh, you must be the Hero of the Goddess, Touya!”

  His skin was tanned from the sun. His short and frizzy red hair extended to form sideburns and a mustache down his face, making him look like a lion. The way he heartily laughed while showing off his white teeth reminded me of the clerics at the fire temple. His height rivaled Rulitora’s, and he was clad in what looked like an Indian kurta. It was pure white and seemed like it was about to rip apart from his copious amount of muscle. I could guess from the extravagant embroidery on his shawl that he must have been someone fairly important.

  He spotted me and started making large strides in my direction, so I hastily whispered to Clena, “...Who is he?”

  “...Can’t you tell by looking?” Clena answered without meeting my gaze. She was right—I could guess, but I wished I was wrong.

  “Hahahah! I’ve heard word of your accomplishments! Hmm, your body is well toned.” The man stopped before me and gripped my shoulders, then my arms, and finally vigorously rustled my hair while laughing like I was a little kid.

  Rium and Rakti hid behind my back, and Roni behind Clena’s. Rulitora was staring agape at something on the man’s head. He must have had a clear view of it from his height, but I had to look up to see a trace of it.

  “...Are you His Majesty, the King?”

  “Indeed, you are correct! I am Hephaestus XIV!”

  There was a glistening golden crown on the head of the man guffawing before us, though tiny compared to his large frame. That could mean only one thing—he was the king of Hephaestusopolis, one of the four kingdoms within the Olympus Alliance.