by Margaret Way
The bit was between Mallory’s teeth. She wasn’t about to give up. “How bad is that? I confess I’m bewildered.”
For a moment it looked as though Margery, like Kathy, was about to unburden herself big time. Only she took a deep, deep breath through her nostrils, like a show jumper about to attempt the final hurdle. “I can’t tell you the details, Mallory. Suffice to say there was a very serious falling-out. Very serious indeed. It had nothing whatsoever to do with Kathy Burch. We were terribly distressed our son had betrayed you, of course. Such a beautiful woman in every way. We had such high hopes for you and Jason. He needed someone like you. We were all set to welcome you into our family. Dear God!” She paused a moment, then carried on, clearly distressed. “The last thing I want is to exclude my little granddaughter. I’m a loving woman, Mallory. Only I don’t see any other way.”
“I don’t mean to push this, Margery. Ivy is the innocent victim here. You would love her. She’s family. Your blood. It mightn’t be easy, but there is a way if you chose to take it. You are Ivy’s grandmother. You would be such a wonderful steadying influence in her life. You know her health isn’t as robust as it should be?”
Margery passed a fretful hand over her unlined forehead. “Ted Moorehouse told us Ivy had some problems. Nothing serious, just childhood ailments. Her mother is probably overanxious, bringing her to hospital all the time. She had a dreadful childhood that poor girl. As for her mother, a punching bag. The only way I can get to see my granddaughter is for the twins to break up.”
Mallory’s nerves went into spasm. “You’re saying reconciliation is out of the question?”
“God help us, yes.” Margery shuddered. “I’m sorry, Mallory. I must go home. But thank you, dear. I hear you’re a psychiatrist now?”
“Psychologist, Margery.”
Margery reached out to touch Mallory’s hand. “You are a clever girl. I’ve always felt a real affection for you.”
“It works both ways, Margery. I want you to know I’m here for you. I’ll be staying with Uncle Robert until he’s much stronger. It will take time, some months. You must come over to Moonglade for a visit. I would ensure you and Harry didn’t run into anyone, except maybe . . . Ivy.”
There was a sudden light in Margery’s eyes. “How could you manage that?” A powerful thread of hope lifted her tone.
At that point Mallory didn’t know how, but it wasn’t going to prevent her from giving it her best shot. “I’ve spoken to Kathy. I believe—I hope—Kathy trusts me. Something could be arranged.”
Margery mulled that one over. “But wouldn’t the twins know? I mean with a child, one could hardly keep a meeting secret.” She was close to wringing her hands.
“I’ll run it past Jason,” said Mallory. She supposed she could do it.
“I’m sure he still loves you,” Margery exclaimed as though the door might be open for a rerun of their romance.
A moment later they were out on the street with curious looks directed at them from passers-by who knew them and their shared history. “It only takes one person to destroy a family,” Margery spoke in so vehement an undertone it was almost a lioness’s growl.
A monster in the family?
Margery Cartwright had not pointed a finger at her daughter-in-law, but at her own daughter. Alarm bells were pealing inside Mallory’s head. Big bells. Margery was hiding a secret.
Mallory was determined to get to the bottom of all the secrecy. Margery turned and clasped Mallory to her bosom. “I implore you from the bottom of my heart, Mallory. God has sent you here. You are the one to make it happen. I must meet with my granddaughter. But be aware, Jessica is dangerous.”
There was no need of the warning.
* * *
While her uncle was resting, Mallory walked down from the house to the promontory. Her thoughts and memories kept pace. A short distance from the cliff edge she stood staring out over a sea that had turned throughout the day from aqua in the shallows, turquoise to cobalt, and now, at late afternoon, a shade of indigo. So smooth was the water, it was like glass. She could see for miles, the green off-shore cays. It was an awesome sight. The sea more than the sky had always suggested infinity to her. It was nearing sunset after a brilliantly hot and fine day. Sunsets in the tropics were spectacular, each one different. On this late afternoon the sun, a burning copper ball, was sinking towards a horizon washed with layer upon layer of pink, gold, lapis lazuli, grape blue, and acid green. On the tide line two seagulls, obviously husband and wife, were having a screaming match. Over the water a solitary white breasted sea eagle was soaring, showing a wingspan that had to be over two metres. Sea eagles were solitary birds. Solitary like her. One only saw them in pairs when they were nesting. No way would sea eagles abandon their young. Even with her loving Uncle Robert, she had found it difficult to assuage the loneliness and longing she had felt for a father. A father who didn’t blame her for being alive.
She was standing well back from the edge but she still had a sweeping view of their cove. Large rocks, sculptural in form, were embedded in the white sand at either end of the crescent. Growing back from the strand line were the primary colonisers, the feathery casuarinas and the pandanus with their characteristic prop roots and segmented orange fruit. Over the years the coconut palms had been bent into fantastic shapes from the cyclone-driven winds. The trees were throwing shadows on the white sand, thickly embroidered with a yellow flowering succulent. This was her idea of paradise, or the way she imagined it. She remembered Uncle Robert telling her as a child “paradise” meant garden in Persian.
Memories began to surge forward, like the incoming tide. Whole scenes of picnics on the beach. Swimming parties. She could remember back to the times when her mother and father had visited Moonglade.
She recalled a particular occasion when as a little girl she had stood marvelling at the burning splendour of the sinking sun. Her mother had been holding one hand, Uncle Robert the other. Oddly she had no image of her father on occasions such as that. It was always Uncle Robert and her mother. Once her mother had suffered a bout of vertigo. Uncle Robert had pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest, his hand stroking her hair as tenderly as he often stroked Mallory’s long hair.
Another time she had seen Uncle Robert bend to kiss the palms of her mother’s hands. Her mother had not pulled away. Her whole face had been illuminated as if the sun had been shining on it.
These memories of childhood were among the most haunting. Uncle Robert had been a very special person to her mother. Yet her mother had married his brother. Even as a child, she knew Uncle Robert was by far the better man, with a capacity for loving her father totally lacked. Her father had not so much loved her mother as owned her. She had been his perfect possession.
The brisk sea breeze was whipping her long hair around her face. She had taken to wearing it loose. In her job she always pulled her hair back into various updated knots. For now, though, she was on holiday.
She and Uncle Robert were in a very good place at the moment. It was obvious her uncle was overjoyed to have her with him. There was a great sense of peace between them. They had fallen back into their old rhythm. They talked about the many things that interested them, just like the old days, student and mentor, books, paintings, films, and music. They listened to their kind of music. They shared the same tastes. Anything remotely upsetting was blocked out, never discussed. She wouldn’t upset her uncle for anything in the world.
Ted Moorehouse called at the house, in his capacity as friend and doctor. Blaine was in and out of the house, but never stayed long. He was a seriously busy man. The only one who didn’t make a phone call or even send an email was her father. He had ignored her many messages. He didn’t give a damn about his brother or her. After all these years she still found it hard to believe there were people like him.
Mallory didn’t hear anyone behind her until she heard her name spoken in a voice hoarse with emotion.
“Mallory?”
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br /> “Jason!” She turned to face him, fearing more of the same was coming up. “I’d come to think you were all avoiding me.”
“Better that way.” A nerve throbbed at his temple.
“You might feel you have to avoid me, Jason, but Kathy and Ivy don’t. Do you really want to clip their wings?”
Jolted out of his melancholy, Jason reacted angrily. “What bloody wings? Kathy is as flightless as an emu. It’s not a lot of fun trying to get anything into her head. She peaked in the third grade.”
“And you’re an intellectual giant, I suppose? Surely this isn’t what being a husband is all about, Jason. It’s obvious you’re on an all-time personal low, but I can’t help you out with that. Maybe you could try a little kindness with your wife. I don’t think you realize how harsh you appear.”
“Do you think I haven’t tried?” Jason sounded like a man pressured beyond endurance. “Everything is a bloody great mystery to Kathy. All the Burches are stupid. You can’t fight genetics.”
“That family has been treated cruelly. An alcoholic and abusive husband and father. Your sister treats Kathy like an underling. You don’t have to add to the pain. I can’t recall you and Jess qualifying for Mensa.”
“Unlike you, Dr. James. We all recognised you’re smart. I don’t want to argue with you. I just want to speak to you. Get some comfort. It’s totally missing from my life.”
“When you have a beautiful little daughter?”
Jason seemed not to have heard. “You’re going to go away again, aren’t you?”
“Be sure of it, Jason. Not that it’s any of your business. While I’m here there’s no good reason to keep your family away. You really ought to make a break from Jessica.”
“Jessica is part of me. Part of my being. Don’t you understand that? Part of my body and soul. Nothing can change that.”
Such an impassioned look was on his face Mallory found herself physically backing away. That wasn’t any heart-warming declaration of a brother’s love for his sister. Truth be told, she was dismayed by the strength of his answer, the utter conviction in it. “Jason, Jessica is your sister, not the great love of your life. Your first thought should be your wife, not Jessica. Kathy is so vulnerable, yet you stand by while your sister insults her and calls her a silly cow.”
“As well she might. Kathy is as deep as a puddle.”
“What about your daughter? Jessica ranks before her too? The only love Jessica has to offer is for you. Even you must admit Jessica can’t share. What did you want to speak to me about anyway?”
His answer was rough with emotion. “I saw you here.”
Another woman might have burst into tears at the poignancy of his expression, only for the life of her, Mallory couldn’t offer a word of comfort. Those days were long gone. What she saw was a man sticking stubbornly to a lost dream. She seized on what she saw as a God-sent opportunity. “I met up with your mother a few days ago in town. We had coffee.”
“Big deal!” Jason snorted. “Jess and I made a complete break from Mum and Dad.”
“So I heard. I can’t understand it. Bad blood with your parents is terrible karma. You used to talk a lot about karma, remember?”
“Hippy stuff,” he grunted.
“Perhaps I can help?”
Sharply he averted his gaze. “There’s no way you can help.”
She felt a prickling sensation down her spine. “Your mother said the same thing. I’m sure with goodwill on both sides, you can arrive at some sort of a reconciliation. It will make your life easier. You will have support. Your parents love you, Jason.”
“Bullshit!” He cut her off.
Mallory stared at him in some confusion. “They do love you.”
“Do they really?”
Mallory paused, perplexed. “Is Jessica at the root of the problem?” She had to be.
“They cut us out of their lives.” Jason lashed back.
“Was it an argument about money? I realize it could have been difficult.”
“What on earth do you mean? Money? I have no idea what you’re banging on about, Mallory. Dad was a generous man. Don’t even think you can guess.”
“I can guess a lot of the friction was Jessica’s fault. She makes it so hard, not only for herself but for everyone else. She makes no attempt to be pleasant or accommodating. She lacks empathy. She lacks some essential quality of the heart. She’s completely indifferent to the pain she causes others. I don’t have to remind you she bullied Kathy right through school. She continues to do it to this day. It may shock you, but I think Jessica could well be bipolar, probably from the onset of puberty.”
“Bipolar?” A look of alarm crossed his face. “You mean she’s mad?”
“Good heavens, no!” Mallory shook her head. “To be bipolar is not to be mad, Jason. It’s a disorder that can be treated with medication and self-managed if taught the ways. A great many people don’t even know they have it. Jessica’s behaviour bears a lot of the hallmarks. We both know she’s always had big mood swings going back to our schooldays. The manic episodes before plunging back into the dark place. Jessica should have been checked out years ago, only I’m sure your parents didn’t know or even guess she could be bipolar. The good thing is she has easy access to professional help. The right medication is absolutely essential. If you love her you should urge her to seek help.”
If she had imagined Jason was paying serious attention on behalf of his twin, she was far wide of the mark. “Sheer bloody speculation!” Jason spat. “You bloody shrinks are the worst, seeing mental conditions all over the place. What about you? That woman, Dr. Sarah, treated you for years after your mother was killed and your father left. Were you mental too?”
Mallory answered in the same calm manner. “I was a deeply disturbed, grieving child. I had witnessed the violent death of my mother. She died while I lived. I couldn’t have done without Dr. Sarah, Jason. She offered enormous help. That was her calling. And mine. Which is my point. Jessica could benefit greatly from seeing a professional. I can give her names.”
“We don’t want your bloody names,” Jason burst out so violently a lesser woman might have turned and run. “There’s nothing wrong with Jess. I would know. She’s my twin.”
“Not your identical twin.” Mallory stood her ground.
“What does that mean?”
She locked his wild blue gaze. “If Jess is bipolar, you have a chance of being bipolar too. Less of a chance than an identical twin. Identical twins share the same DNA. You two don’t.”
“I’ll never forgive you for that, Mallory,” he said, as though bitterly betrayed. “Jess and I won’t be needing any professional attention. I know my sister. I don’t believe a word of this bipolar bull. Jess doesn’t suffer fools gladly, that’s all.”
Mallory didn’t hold back. “When you’re feeling calmer, Jason, consider what I’ve been saying. I’ve seen with my own eyes Jessica tap dancing with rage towards a small child.”
Jason’s upraised hand chopped her off. “Ivy can be very naughty. She even tries my patience.”
“I’m not one hundred percent certain you are a patient man,” Mallory said.
The muscles of his jaw were tightly bunched. “Look, I know I’ve changed, but life has been hard. You have no idea how hard. Jess is super-efficient. She’s not afraid of hard work, the more physical the better. I need her. The farm needs her. Kathy is useless as a wife, a mother, and a worker in the house and on the farm. If you want evidence I can show you plenty.”
“Maybe between the two of you you’re robbing her of all confidence. You’re shockingly indifferent to her, yet you got the poor woman pregnant. You married her.”
Jason’s whole body stiffened. “I stepped up to the plate, didn’t I?”
“You don’t have a good track record, Jason.”
“How would you know? You weren’t here. At the beginning I was so bloody patient with my pathetic wife, I should have been canonised.”
“No chance o
f that. You’re awash with human failings.”
“Like the rest of us,” he said bitterly. “I’d better get back to work. You’ll never understand.”
“I’m trying to, Jason. You’re walking away from the consequences of your marriage. It’s a father’s duty to protect his child. Your mother and father, no matter the alienation, are desperate to meet Ivy. They’re good people. They could be such a help. Children need loving grandparents.”
That provoked a hard laugh. “As long as Jess and I keep out of the way. Life’s a bitch, ain’t it?”
“Why does everything have to do with you? If you want to make a start on ending this extraordinary rift, you might begin by allowing your parents to see Ivy in private. I’m sure they’d be thrilled to look after her from time to time. It would give you and Kathy a break.”
Jason clearly was being buffeted by waves of anger and frustration. “To do what? Have a lovey-dovey weekend away together? Can’t you get it through your head? Our marriage is a disaster. I don’t love Kathy. There’s no such thing as loving to order. I didn’t know I was getting Kathy pregnant even when I was doing it. It’s like it happened to someone else. One drunken moment and my life was ruined. I lost you. I got Kathy Burch instead. What a consolation prize! You don’t call that a disaster? We’ve been married for years but I haven’t been able to form any sort of bond with her. I don’t know her. I don’t recognise the person she is. She’ll never get herself sorted.”
Mallory saw the terrible anger in him, the immense frustration. “You should have thought hard about consequences before you got her into bed. Bedding such a vulnerable creature was a breach of decency and honour.”
Melancholia had descended on Jason’s shoulders like dark outspread wings. “The weird thing is I don’t remember getting her into bed.”
Mallory’s heart was beating suffocatingly hard. “You don’t remember getting her into bed? You did. Ivy is here.”