by R. S. Lively
In the moonlight, I can see Fiona staring at me. I can't decipher the expression on her face. I don't know what she's thinking, and I fight against the screaming in my chest to give her the time she needs to think through what I've said.
"You should have come," she finally says. "You should have been there."
"I know I should have."
"You should have looked me in the eyes and told me what you were feeling."
"I know."
"I wanted you, Cade. I wanted that life. I had been dreaming of it since I was eleven years old. You were everything to me. I would have faced anything with you by my side."
"I know you would have, Fiona. That's why I didn't come that night. You would have stood there beside me, even when I didn't deserve it. I wanted you to know I wasn't just settling for you. I was fighting for you."
"I didn't need you to make that decision for me, Cade. I didn't need you to decide what I was going to think, or do, or want. That was my decision."
"I wanted to protect you, Fi. I've always wanted to protect you."
"You didn't need to protect me from you. Like you said, I was old enough. I'd been dreaming about that moment for so long, and yes, I was young, and yes, I had no idea what the real world held for me. But I had you. At least I thought I did. And that's all that mattered to me. I've never gotten to choose my life. I didn't choose to have my parents killed. I didn't choose to have my grandparents raise me rather than just being able to be my grandparents, and they didn't choose it either. Having to take care of me took away the life they could have had. I might have been far too young to have my entire life planned in front of me, but that still wasn’t your place to decide."
"I'm sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way."
The intensity of her voice has grown, and I can hear the heat in it. My heart pounds in my chest and the same heat creeps up the back of my neck. There's anger and regret between us, but there's also a passion and desire that neither of us can deny. I want my hands on her. I want my mouth on her skin.
"Bring the canoe back to the shore," she says.
It's not a question, but a command, and my cock jumps.
"Do you want to go back?" I ask as I paddle back toward the darkened stretch of sand at the edge of the moonlit lake.
"No," she says.
She doesn't add anything else, and I feel caught like she is exerting absolute control over me. When I've guided the canoe close enough to the shore, I step out and pull it the rest of the way up onto the sand. I turn to extend my hand to Fiona, to help her climb out, but she is already out, wading through the shallow water to the shore. I drag the boat over to the rack and feel her step up behind me. Her body molds to my back, her hands running around my waist and onto my stomach and chest. I lean back slightly into her and feel her mouth touch the side of my neck. Her hot breath trails down my skin, followed by the tip of her tongue. It's intense and intoxicating and makes my head spin.
Fiona's hand presses hard against my chest while the other slides down my stomach to the front of my pants. It runs over the bulge of my engorged cock straining against my pants, then cups it firmly. Her teeth nip at my neck, and I groan, reaching around behind me to grab her ass in one hand and pull her harder against me. Her mouth comes to my ear, biting into it before she speaks.
"You made love to me earlier today, Cade, and it was incredible," she whispers. My body shivers as I feel her lips brush my ear with each word. "I have never experienced anything that." Her hand squeezes my cock subtly, and the other strokes across my chest. "It was everything I envisioned ten years ago and so much more. But I haven't had enough."
"You haven't?" I groan.
"No. Everyone has always tried to make decisions for me and tell me what to do. Now it's my turn."
I lean back further, parting my thighs slightly to grant her more access. She rewards me by moving her hand down lower, filling her palm with my now-aching erection.
"What do you want?" I ask.
She massages into my cock, and I draw in a sharp breath.
"You're going to bring me up to the cabin. You're going to take off your clothes. Then you're going to fuck me. Then you're going to take a break to catch your breath. Then you're going to do it again." Her hand slides up from my fly to sweep under my shirt. I feel her fingertips on my lower belly for a brief second before her hand dips down into my waistband. They brush against the base of my shaft, and the sensation threatens to make me explode. "It's going to be fast." She draws her fingernails up from my cock through my coarse hair and back onto my belly. "And it's going to be hard. You're going to show me exactly why you think you should be in control."
With that, she steps away from me, her hands suddenly gone from my body, leaving me tingling in their wake. She walks away, and I fall into step behind her. This is so unlike her, and yet I feel like I'm seeing a part of her that has always been there, a part she's kept hidden. Something she's protected and kept secret from anyone. Except for me.
I follow her, watching her hips sway as she makes her way up the trail back toward the cabin. As we step inside, she takes her shirt off, stepping out of her shoes as she continues through the living room and toward the master bedroom. I follow her lead, undressing as I watch her gradually reveal her body. She moves with confidence, with a security and comfort in her body that wasn’t there when we were younger. There was always a hesitance in her, even just a few weeks ago. I immediately noticed the obvious differences in her when we first saw each other, but there was still that hint of uncertainty. Now, it's gone. She has complete command. She told me exactly what she needs, and there is nothing that will keep me from giving it to her.
By the time we get to the bedroom, she's completely naked, and her sweet, round ass bouncing in front of me as she walks is just too much for me to resist. I step up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist, and using the other hand to clutch her breast. My fingers knead into it, her nipple hardening against my palm. I bury my head into the side of her neck and kiss her sweat-dampened skin as I push her forward onto the bed, so she lands on her elbows. Placing my hand on the base of her neck, I run my fingertips down her spine, into the dip of her lower back, and down into the wet heat of her pussy. She moans as I press my fingers into her, then over her clit. Fiona's back arches into the touch, presenting herself to me fully. Placing my hands on the insides of her thighs, I push her legs apart. I reach into the drawer of the bedside table and pull out one of the condoms I had tucked there earlier while unpacking. I tuck my hand between her legs as I tear open the package with my teeth and roll the condom into place.
She is already whimpering, her hips rolling slightly, but I'm not going to let her off that easily. I am going to show her she is absolutely in my control. Fiona starts to move like she's going to turn around, but I press my hand into her back to hold her down.
"No," I tell her. "Don't move. You're going to stay right there so I can taste you. I'm going to devour your delicious pussy, and then I'm going to sink my cock deep inside you and fuck you just like you asked me to."
Dropping down to my knees behind her, I take hold of her upper thighs and spread them, drawing my tongue through her folds. Her legs shake under my hands as I plunge my tongue inside her, sliding one hand up her thigh to rest on her belly so I can use the pad of my thumb to massage her clit. Fiona cries out, pushing her hips into me.
"Please, Cade," she groans.
I take my mouth from her, looking around her hip to see her forehead buried in the mattress, and her hands gripping the blankets.
"What?" I ask. "What do you want?"
"You," she says, her voice so low, I can barely hear it.
"Tell me, Fiona," I command.
"You," she moans again. "I want you."
"Tell me what you want, Fiona."
I give her a quick, sharp smack, my palm stinging as it comes in contact with her ass, then grab onto the soft flesh, squeezing it briefly. She cries out again, her head falling back
in reaction to the bright snap of pain. I smack her again, bringing another flush of pink across her skin and another cry from her throat. Her thighs part further, and she lifts her hips, giving me a delectable invitation.
"I want you to fuck me. Please, Cade. Fuck me."
With an animal rumbling in my chest, I position the tip of my cock at her entrance and slam into her. She lets out a scream, but I don't stop. Digging my fingertips into her hips to hold her steady, I thrust into her hard and fast. Her body welcomes me, and I push deeper with every stroke, stretching her as I fuck her with all the passion and need that's been building up inside of me for ten years. I've been inside her before. I was inside her a few hours ago. But I was making love to her then, connecting with her in a way I never had, a way I knew I only could with her.
This is different. This is pure primal instinct that makes me want to claim Fiona, to mark her and prove she's mine.
I run my tongue up her back, sinking my teeth into her shoulder. When I straighten, I bury my hand into her hair, gripping it tightly as I continue to thrust into her. I know I can't hold out for long. But it won't be difficult to live up to her request. Being deep inside her is addictive, and I will never get enough.
Fiona is shaking, her thighs glistening as I pound into her. The sounds pouring out of her mouth are getting higher and faster, desperation creeping into them as her cries echo off the walls. I know she's getting close, and the rush of my orgasm is building inside me at blinding speed. Leaning over her, I reach around her hip and bring my fingers to the bead of taut, sensitive flesh at her peak. I press into it, swirling my fingers over it as I increase my pace and intensity even more. She screams my name and sweat rolls across my skin. Neither of us can take much more, and I roar as I come hard inside her. At the same instant, Fiona sobs my name as an orgasm shudders through her. I sweep her shoulders and chest up so she sits up on her knees, her back pressed to my chest. Her head falls back onto my shoulder, and I cradle her breast with one hand, holding her hips in place with the other, and kissing along the side of her neck as I roll my hips into her to ride out the last waves of pleasure.
Two days later…
Fiona is on my mind before I even open my eyes. I can feel the warmth and the weight of her lying in bed beside me, and I instantly feel the need to touch her. Pulling up to prop myself on my elbow, I gaze down at her. She is peaceful and beautiful, her hair spread on the pillow, and one hand rested on her chest. I brush my fingertips over one breast and lean down to blow a stream of cool air over the peak, watching it tighten and goosebumps rise along her delicate skin. Watching her face, I continue the feathery touch down the center of her chest and belly, and into the valley of her hip bones. I pause here, feeling her pulse just beneath the skin. She's waking up as I bring my fingers down to trace along the inside of one thigh, and then the other. When the tips delve into her folds, her back arches and her hand grasps my wrist.
Fiona lifts her head and looks down at me.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Sore," she admits.
Considering I have had her in every position I could think of over the last two days, I imagine she is. But that doesn't stop me from craving at least a little bit of her. I duck my head down and kiss her belly. She whimpers softly, and her thighs slide subtly apart.
"I'm sorry you're sore," I say. "Let me kiss it and make it feel better."
Adjusting my position, so I am lying with my head between her thighs, I carefully ease her legs open, flicking the tip of my tongue across her clit. She makes a happy, cooing sound and I continue, sweeping my tongue across her in broad, slow licks. Soon I taste a rush of her wetness in my mouth, and I shift my focus to concentrating directly on her most sensitive curves. Within seconds, Fiona is trembling in my arms, her skin flushed and a satisfied smile on her lips as she savors the orgasm that greeted her day like the sunrise. She tucks her head onto my chest and strokes along my stomach with her fingers. I hear a soft, sad sigh slip out of her, and I brush a strand of hair away from her face to look down at her.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
She shakes her head.
"No," she says.
"What's on your mind?"
"Do you remember at the end of the summer you used to wrap your arms around me and say you wished we could stay that way forever?"
I smile at the memory.
"Of course. I always meant it."
"I feel that way now."
My heart clenches slightly in my chest.
"Why?" I ask.
"I'm going to have to go back to work soon. My vacation time is almost over."
Some of the happiness I’ve been feeling drains out of me, but I don't say anything. I had been willfully ignoring the reality of the world beyond us, pretending she would forget everything, and we could just pretend like we had never changed.
But she does remember the life beyond right now, and she wants to return to it. The truth is, everything has changed, just not in the way I wanted. We've both put everything out into the open, poured ourselves into each other, and instead of it being a beginning, she seems ready to turn it into a resolution. I really did miss my chance.
"I know," I say. "It's gone by really fast."
There's a beat of silence.
"It has."
16
Fiona
That afternoon...
We are silent for most of the drive back toward the house from the cabin. I don't want to focus on the stinging sensation in my heart, but I can't get my mind off it. Everything had been going so well with Cade, I hadn't wanted to think of anything beyond whatever moment we were living in. I tried not to think beyond each kiss, touch, or laugh. The time Cade and I had spent together, and finally finding out the answers to the questions I had carried with me, had forced my mind out of its bubble. It reminded me I can't just think about now. I have to think of the past. I have to consider the future.
I put myself out there for him. I gave him the opportunity to tell me he doesn't want me to go back to the city, or that it doesn’t matter my vacation is almost over. I gave him the chance to finish what we started so long ago. But he didn't.
Cade doesn't seem to only be thinking about right now. He didn't even flinch when I mentioned it was almost time for me to leave the house and return to my normal life. He barely reacted at all. After everything we'd said to each other, and everything we’d unlocked together, I expected more than that. He wasn't going to try to control my life or tell me what to do. He'd made that clear. But that wasn't what I want. I want to know he feels what I do. I want to know there's more to this than just the last few weeks we've shared. Even if he didn't try to stop me from leaving, at least I thought he would at least try to plan a time for us to see each other again. He seemed so invested in the future we could have had, but it seems that now he's opened up and told me what I needed to hear, he's content with where we are, and isn’t considering anything else. I don't want to admit how much it hurts, but the pain is still heavy in my chest as we pull back up to the house and I notice a strange car in the drive.
"Who's that?" Cade asks.
"Did you order something else?" I ask.
"Not that's due to be delivered today.”
Cade parks his truck, and we climb out. As soon as my foot touches the bottom step to the front porch, I hear loud laughter billowing somewhere inside the house. One of the laughs rises above the others, and I turn to look at Cade.
"Did you know she was coming back?”
He shakes his head.
"No," he answers. "I haven't heard from her since the last time we talked on the phone."
I took my key out of my bag in the truck, but before I use it, I try the doorknob. Just as I expect it will, the door swings open. We walk inside amid another peal of laughter from the kitchen. Cade and I walk toward it, and when we step inside, we find Grammie holding court. Not only has she arrived back at the house without letting us know she was coming, but she brought along a gaggle o
f her friends, and they are gathered around her as she sits in a chair turned away from the table.
"Grammie?" I say.
She looks up at us, and her eyes brighten.
"Fiona! Cade!" she calls happily. "You're home!"
"So are you," I say, stepping into the hug she offers with her out-flung arms. "You didn't tell us you'd be back today."
"I know. I wanted it to be a surprise. But then when we got here, you weren't here."
"You could have called us and let us know. We were... away for a couple days."
"Away? What do you mean you were away for a couple days?"
I look at Cade with uncertainty. His eyes widen slightly, telling me to be careful what I say. Grammie doesn't know about his wealth or the expansive reach of his business, which means I can't just tell her we decided to take a break from working on the house to do some glamping because of the chaos of his projects. Now that I know the truth, he plans on telling her, but this isn't the time.
"Cade is consulting for a new woodworking program up at the high school," I say. "We went up to the school to check on the progress, and then went on a trip to the woods."
"To visit the trees?"
I think about this for a beat.
"Sure."
It's not a lie, there have been enough of those, but it gives him the space to approach the situation in his own way, and to avoid telling her what we were really up to in that cabin tucked in the woods. I don't want to open the pain in my heart any further by talking about it with her. At least, not now.
"That's wonderful!" Grammie gushes. "That's going to make a difference in a lot of lives."
I nod, giving what I hope is a convincing smile.
"I think so," Cade says. "That's the plan anyway."
"How is your ankle feeling, Grammie?" I ask.
Grammie glances down at her leg, and then back at me, her eyes slightly widened.
"I experienced a miraculous recovery! Dr. Barnes is a credit to his field. What he was able to do for me…"