Texas Desire

by Holly Castillo

  “I’m going to take you out there. It will be a good place for you to recover, and the soldiers won’t be looking out there. At least I don’t think they will.”

  “And then are you coming back?” Cade lifted his head and looked at her.

  “No,” she shook her head. “No, I’m going to stay out there with you.” Her eyes wouldn’t meet his.

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “I made you a promise. I never break my word. Until you can walk again, I’m not going to leave.” Her voice quivered slightly.

  Cade watched her for several moments then winced as she began to tie up his leg once more. “A single woman doesn’t stay with a man alone. It isn’t done.”

  “Yes, well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m an old maid and nobody cares about my reputation anymore.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Old maid? Is that what you call yourself?”

  She finished tying up his leg and turned to face him, her cheeks crimson. “I don’t want to do this. But I will not have my family in jeopardy. And I will not break a promise.”

  “I’ve already released you of your promise. You have no obligation to me.” He meant what he said. But a part of him knew that it would be virtually impossible for him to do anything on his own. At least for the time being.

  She draped the new sheet over him and straightened, smoothing her hands over her skirt. Either she hadn’t heard him, or she had chosen to ignore his statement. He leaned more towards the latter. “We’ll leave tomorrow,” she said with finality. “Try to rest as much as you can.”

  “Your sisters? How will they get by without you?”

  “As much as I would love to think they need me...” She hesitated then continued, “They will probably get along better without me here.” She turned to grab the bowl she had set aside when his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. She looked down at him with surprise.

  “What I said...” He hesitated, trying to look for the right words.

  “Your assessment of me has been correct, Mr. Cade,” she said, with a forced smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “The townsfolk have given me the nickname Senorita Fria. Cold woman.” She shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

  Cade’s eyes watched her closely, unable to release her wrist yet. “I think you do.”

  Her smile faltered and she pulled free of his grip. “It would be best for both of us if you think of me that way for the rest of our time together.”

  “Why? Why would you want me to think that about you?”

  She was breathing rapidly, and the rise and fall of her breasts drew his attention. “Because you make me nervous, Mr. Cade.”

  His eyes jerked to her face. “I would never hurt you. Never.”

  “I’m not afraid of you, Mr. Cade. I’m afraid of myself when I’m around you. You make me want...You make me...” She swallowed and turned, hurrying up the stairs. “Get some rest, Mr. Cade.”

  Chapter Seven

  The heavy drip of water off the roof mingled with the soft fall of rain, creating a muffled silence over the town. A lantern light flickered far up the road, otherwise all was dark.

  “It’s too cold. Why don’t you wait—at least another day?”

  Olivia clutched her shawl tightly around her shoulders, frowning into the damp darkness. Her breath plumed in the air and a slight shiver ran over her skin as she turned back inside the house, closing the door forcefully behind her. “No. We’ll leave tonight. The rain should keep the soldiers under shelter and we’ll have a better chance of not being seen.”

  Angie was chewing on her lower lip. “Do you think he’ll make it? His leg—if it doesn’t heal, he’ll lose it for sure.”

  “He’s going to be just fine,” Olivia said in a rush, then drew a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut momentarily. When she opened them, her face was the picture of determination. “He’ll be just fine.”

  “This cold won’t be good for him.”

  “You talk as though I’m not even here. Do I get a word in this conversation?” Cade’s irritated voice didn’t bother the women as they continued staring out at the rain.

  “We can wrap an extra blanket around him. The rain isn’t that heavy, so he shouldn’t get drenched—at least not right away.”

  “Or I could just set myself on fire. That should keep me warm and dry.”

  Olivia glanced over her shoulder to where Cade sat in an old wicker chair, his leg propped up on another chair next to him. The journey up the stairs had taken him nearly an hour and it had destroyed her to see him in so much pain. She had forced him to drink some corn whiskey to numb the pain, but now he was acting sullen, and she didn’t have time for him to be difficult.

  “If you can’t add an intelligent comment to this conversation, keep quiet.”

  The look on his face would have been comical if the situation hadn’t been so serious. “Intelligent comment?” He chuckled harshly, his eyes wide. “You two crazy birds are talking about hacking off my leg while I sit right here and you talk about intelligence?”

  He shook his head, still chuckling, but the sound was forced. “I must have picked the craziest home in all of Texas to hide.”

  “How much corn liquor did you give him?” Angie whispered to Olivia.

  Cade threw up his hands in disbelief, groaning and shaking his head. It didn’t help that pain throbbed through his leg and made it near impossible to have a rational thought. But the two sisters were going to drive him insane.

  Sighing heavily, he dragged his hands down his face, trying to wipe away the frustration and exhaustion pulling at him. When he lowered his hands, it took everything he had not to yell in surprise.

  “Hola, cowboy.” The young one, Serri, sat on the floor in front of him, cross-legged, watching him with luminescent eyes.

  He hadn’t even heard her enter the room. His skills must be deteriorating in this home, he thought as he eyed the feathers protruding from her hair. He was in a house of lunatics.

  Serena was watching him closely, a half-smile tugging at her lips. It was obvious she was excited about something. “I have something for you.”

  She was whispering so softly he could barely hear her, and he glanced at the two women standing at the back door. They were still lost in their own conversation, going over supplies and concerns for the cocina in Olivia’s absence.

  Serri pulled a fire-charred clay pot from behind her back, cupping the small container in her palms. When he didn’t immediately reach for it, her smile took a dip and she thrust it towards him. “It’s for your leg,” she whispered, agitation building in her features when he still didn’t reach for it.

  Using her same hushed voice, he asked, “Does this mean you’ve decided you like me?”

  Her lips lifted again, but this time her smile was mischievous. “I suppose you’ll find out.”

  Cade didn’t know whether to laugh or slam his fist through something. Everything around him made little sense, and he kept thinking that at any moment he would awaken from his hellish dream. He reached for the clay pot and was rewarded with a pleased smile from the girl he believed the oddest creature he had ever met.

  Warily he pried open the clay lid but quickly pulled back in disgust, his eyes watering from the powerful aroma. “What in God’s name did you put in here?”

  His reaction drew Olivia’s attention and, when her eyes fell on Serena, she whirled, her fists planted on her hips. “What are you doing?” Her voice nearly seemed a shout in the silence and Serena jumped a good foot.

  She stood hastily, throwing an angry glance at Cade. “I just came to say goodbye. I knew you were going to leave without telling me.”

  For the briefest moment, Olivia looked guilty, a light flush creeping up her neck.

  But then her eyes fell on the pot in Cade’s hands and they narrowed with suspicion. “Where did you get that?”

  Serena smiled. “I made it.”

  Olivia walked over and leaned forward, carefully lifting the clay lid.
Cade had been about to warn her not to, but his mind emptied of all thought. She had placed her hand on his shoulder and was leaning over him, apparently unaware that her breast pressed against his arm. His mouth was suddenly dry.

  “Oh!” Her startled exclamation and the recoil of her body drew his focus back on the subject. “Serena, I want to know where this came from.”

  She still stood against him, the intimate contact of her body against his making him yearn for more. It felt so right to have her against him, her hand on his shoulder—almost like... home.

  “I told you I made it,” Serena said, talking around the thumbnail she was chewing on.

  “Did Talking Wolf help you? He did, didn’t he? I told you not to go see that old man anymore—”

  Serena’s eyes flared with anger. “He knows more about medicine and healing than anyone around here. You’re just scared of him.”

  Olivia straightened and her breast brushed Cade’s ear. He felt light-headed.

  “You should be afraid of him, too! He’s an Indian! I don’t care that he’s no longer with his tribe.” Olivia shook her head, already prepared for her sister’s argument. “He has snakes hanging on posts outside his hut!”

  Serena stopped chewing on her nail and pursed her lips in a fashion similar to Olivia. “That’s to ask for rain.” She made a broad gesture towards the back porch where lightening briefly lit up the sky. “And it worked, didn’t it?”

  Olivia’s hand tightened on Cade’s shoulder and he felt the tension in her body. “Olivia just wants you to be safe,” Cade said softly. “She knows you’re smart enough not to put yourself in danger.” The heat of Olivia’s eyes watching him could almost be felt. But he kept his eyes on Serena.

  Serri watched him with narrowed eyes then slowly nodded. “I know.” She covered her mouth with her hand, stifling a yawn. “I’m going to bed.”

  Before Cade could object, she stepped forward and embraced him, carefully avoiding his leg. “Adios. When you come back, I’ll make you some empanadas. I don’t burn them like Angie.”

  The swift kiss on his cheek left him stunned, but she was quickly moving out of the room. She paused in the doorway and glanced back at Olivia. “Be careful, Vi. I’ll... I’ll miss you.”

  The room seemed to lose some of its light at her departure, and Cade slowly, slowly lifted his eyes to Olivia. She was just looking away from the doorway and her eyes clashed with his. Her eyes widened as she became aware of the intimate way she pressed against him. A blush crept over her skin as she began to push away from him, but he caught her hand on his shoulder, unwilling to break contact with her so soon.

  Her breath caught, and her pulse visibly pounded at the base of her neck. He let go of her hand as though he held a hot coal and she backed away from him, confusion all over her face.

  Then she turned and faced Angie who watched both with raised eyebrows. “Let’s finish getting everything in the wagon.” Olivia spoke firmly, though her fingers tugged on the high collar of her dress. “We’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

  Olivia couldn’t contain the shivers that caused her teeth to chatter as she stepped back into the house. She tried to avoid looking at Cade, but his eyes were on her, same as his muscled arm pressed against her body.

  She hadn’t been aware of the way she had leaned against him, the way she had instinctively reached for his warmth. She had become comfortable with his physical presence, too comfortable. But she had also leaned on him for an emotional need; the need for human contact and extra strength. She had never sought out strength from anyone other than herself. Why now? Why Cade?

  “We should be ready,” she said softly to Angie, shaking tiny droplets of moisture from her shawl. “Did you find an extra blanket for him?”

  Angie nodded towards a dark heap of fabric on the table. “It should be thick enough to keep some of the rain and sleet off.”

  Olivia nodded and drew a deep breath. “Now we just need to get him to the wagon.” She turned to face Cade and his eyes watched her darkly just as she knew they would. She had felt the heat of his gaze all night.

  As she started towards him he began to try to push himself to his feet. Olivia moved up on one side and Angie on the other, and he reluctantly accepted their help. Both women braced themselves for his weight and moved slowly out the door.

  Olivia was intensely aware of the tension in Cade’s body and knew the pain he was suffering. He dragged his leg behind him, for once following Olivia’s instructions to use it as little as possible. She had her arm wrapped around his back and her other hand braced against his chest for support and felt his muscles straining. She looked up at his face, and despite the chill in the air, several drops of sweat beaded his brow. “Do you need to rest? Do you need...”

  “No.” His voice came out harsh, strained. “No, let’s just get to the wagon.”

  Cade’s weight shifted and Olivia looked over in concern at Angie, only to be surprised by her grandfather’s face, full of determination.

  “Just lean on me, hijo. We’ll get you to that wagon,” he said.

  “G-Grandpa!” Olivia stuttered, then swallowed hard and her feet faltered in the mud. “Grandpa, what are you—how did you...”

  Grandpa didn’t look at her as he helped move Cade through the mud towards the wagon. “You girls think we don’t know what goes on in that house? Ha! I’m not too old yet that I don’t notice.”

  The panicked look on Olivia’s face drew Cade’s curiosity.

  “You’ve known?” Her voice was shocked. “All this time? Why didn’t you say something?”

  Her grandfather cast her a disgruntled look. “I didn’t say we approve. You’re old enough to make your own mistakes without the advice of two old people.” He shook his head. “Besides, you wouldn’t listen to us anyway. If we forbid you from helping those damned rebels”—he glanced up at Cade and frowned—“we would have just driven you away where we couldn’t keep any eye on you.”

  “I take it you support Mexico,” Cade said, the strain of his discomfort becoming even more obvious.

  “I support keeping this family alive,” the old man said firmly. “I lost my son and daughter-in-law because they supported you rebels. I’ll not lose the rest of my family, too.”

  “Grandpa, I never meant disrespect—I never...”

  Her grandfather looked at her with tenderness. “I know, hijita. I know. I can’t tell you what to believe and how to live. I won’t drive you away.” He looked away from her and moisture filled his eyes. “It’s what I did to your father and now I’ll never have him back.”

  Olivia was speechless. She hadn’t known her grandfather felt responsible for her parent’s death, nor had she even suspected he knew she and her sisters carried on their parent’s drive to help the Texians. But she realized she should have. Her grandfather was an incredibly bright and astute man, and had served in the Mexican Army when they fought for independence from Spain. His loyalty to Mexico was admirable, even though she couldn’t support it.

  They had finally reached the wagon and Cade pulled his arms off their shoulders, leaning heavily against the wheel. Getting Cade up into the wagon proved to be the most difficult task of them all. By then they were being pelted by small sleet and a few soft snow flakes fell around them. With her Grandfather’s help, they were able to hoist Cade into the wagon, though Cade groaned loudly, and Olivia knew it had hurt him tremendously.

  Before he sat down she was able to wrap the extra blanket around him, and she noticed that his eyes were out of focus, and she doubted he was even aware of what was going on due to the high level of pain he was in. He sighed with relief when he finally sat down on the bench.

  Trying to control her shivers, Olivia turned to her grandfather and gave him a fierce hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Abuelo. Please don’t worry about me and don’t let Abuela worry about me. I’ll be perfectly safe at Angie’s home. And I’ll come into town every few days to make sure everything is going well.”


  Her grandfather cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t worry so much, hijita. We will come through this just fine. Now you must hurry. We can’t risk getting caught, and you are freezing already. Via con dios.”

  Olivia’s eyes blurred with tears but she nodded and sloshed through the mud to the other side of the wagon. Angie stepped forward off of the porch where she had been sheltered from the sleet and snow. She embraced Olivia, but they exchanged no words. They weren’t necessary. Just the way they looked at each other said everything. Olivia nodded firmly, then quickly climbed into the wagon.

  She quickly grabbed the jacket she had hastily tossed up on the buckboard when they had been packing it with provisions and slid into it, the sleeves hanging past her hands. It had been her father’s jacket and it meant a lot to her. She felt safer already just having it wrapped around her. With a final nod to Angie and her grandfather, she took the reins in her cold hands and snapped them, and the mule, startled out of a light slumber, lurched forward.

  The ride out to Angie’s home proved to be more difficult than Olivia had expected. The ground was pure slush, and the wheels had a hard time gripping into the mud to propel them forward. The mule was doing its best, but it was a daunting task. Finally, Olivia realized they needed to change something, and the only thing she could think of was to lighten the load.

  Cade seemed to be half aware of his surroundings, and she was worried the journey was already too much on him. Tying the reins into a knot, she jumped down into the mud and, holding onto the mule’s harness, slid forward until she was at his head. She pushed forward, pulling on the mule’s reins from its head, struggling to get it to move with her.

  Several times she fell to her knees in the mud and cringed at the jar to her body, but pulled herself back up and continued pressing forward. On the plus side, she became numb to the cold around her and no longer noticed the sleet and the snow that fell.

  After over a thousand sliding steps in the mush—she had learned to distract herself by counting her steps—she was beginning to wonder if she had passed the small break in the trees that led to Angie’s house. Squinting through the snow and sleet she tried her best to make out the tree line. The lack of light was both a curse and a blessing. A curse because she couldn’t see anything even if she could keep a wick dry long enough for a lantern. But at the same time it was a blessing, for no one else could see them. Their vision was just as limited as Olivia’s.