Texas Desire

by Holly Castillo

  He held back the curse words burning the back of his throat as he tentatively put pressure on his leg. God, it hurt. He had known it would hurt, but for several heart pounding seconds he felt as if he would fall, taking Olivia with him. But she had spoken the truth, and she stood like a rock at his side, bracing him.

  Gradually the black dots floating in front of his eyes faded away, and he saw the room clearly. He looked down at Olivia and she was looking up at him. “Do you need to sit down again?” Her voice was worried, and strained from the strength it was taking for her to help hold him upright.

  Slowly he took some of his weight off of her and placed it on his injured leg and cringed at the pain, but he knew he could tolerate it. He would go through hell and back to get his Bella, and at the moment it felt like that was exactly what he was doing. “No, no,” he said, belatedly replying to Olivia’s question. “I can stand. I want to try to walk to the door and back. And that will be it. I won’t push it any more than that.”

  “Cade, are you sure...”

  Cade nodded curtly, and together they turned and began towards the door. His limp was drastic, and he had to rely on her more than he wanted. But they made it to the door and finally paused for him to catch his breath.

  “How do you feel?” Olivia asked, staring up at him with concern.

  “I won’t lie to you, angel. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But it isn’t bad enough that I can’t tolerate it, if only a little at a time right now.” He tried to shift some more of his weight onto his leg, but his body protested violently, and he reluctantly returned the weight to Olivia’s shoulders.

  “Don’t push yourself too quickly,” she said softly. “I know how fast you want to go, and I’d gladly give you all of my strength to make it even remotely possible. But you’ll be no help to her until you are fully ready to rescue her.”

  He looked down at her and smiled, though it was hard for him to do anything other than scowl at the pain that burned through his thigh. His other injuries had begun to heal nicely. But this deep gash in his leg was the most severe, and the most damning to his need to get to Bella.

  Drawing a deep breath, he took a wavering step towards the bed and nearly went down. Olivia braced him, though, and he was soon standing firm once more. He drew in his breath as slowly and easily as he could until he was no longer panting with pain and frustration. Olivia was watching him closely, though the look on her face was one of determination, not one of concern.

  “A simple misstep,” she said lightly. “Let’s give it another go.”

  God, this woman was incredible. How had he been so fortunate to have been sent to her home the night after he had escaped the Mexican Army? There seemed to be only one plausible answer—God was watching over him. And he had been delivered to a woman who was soothing his physical pain and helping him find peace with his emotional distress as well.

  They moved slowly back towards the bed, though he made sure each step was deliberate and used the muscles that had been so badly damaged. He would be strong again. Nothing would stop him until he held his precious little girl in his arms.

  When he was finally sitting on the edge of the bed once more, he was breathing heavily and his face was covered in perspiration. The black dots threatened to invade his vision, but he fought them back and instead focused on Olivia, who was propping the pillows correctly and preparing the bed for him.

  When she turned back to him she smiled and moved to help him reposition into the bed. He shook his head at her. “I can do it myself,” he said softly, and she hesitated, gnawing on her lower lip. He forced a smile to his face, hoping it reassured her, because it sure as hell didn’t reassure him. Focusing entirely on what he needed to do, he swung his legs up and over and shifted his body weight until he was propped against the pillows.

  The feeling of a cool, damp cloth wiping at his face startled him and his eyes flew open. Olivia wiped at his face, her gentle smile a balm to his soul. “You did it,” she said softly. “You’re fever barely broke a few days ago and you are up walking today. You are amazing.”

  He shook his head and caught her hand against his cheek. “I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.”

  Olivia’s smile broadened, but she shook her head. “I suspect you would have found a way with or without me.”

  He held her hand to his cheek a few moments longer, then kissed her palm and leaned back against the pillows. “I have so much to overcome. And every day she slips further away. Where could she be, angel? They’ve won San Antonio. What will they do to a small two-year-old girl?”

  Olivia shook her head. “I don’t know. But I suspect they will keep her with them. They see her as a prisoner they can leverage. The Texians won’t be willing to watch the death of a young girl, and this is a weakness they must plan to exploit somehow.”

  “We need to know what is happening with the war,” Cade said firmly. “We must find out where they are headed now, and any other clues we can find out about their activities. She’s with the main camp. I wouldn’t be surprised if she isn’t with Santa Anna directly.” He laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. Then his eyes refocused on Olivia. “How long has it been since I came to you that night? How many days has it been?”

  “It—well, it has been a while. Nearly a fortnight.”

  Cade clenched and unclenched his hands into fists, his stomach churning. Olivia stood and walked around the bed until she was on the opposite side. She climbed into the bed beside him and placed one hand alongside his face while the other smoothed back his hair. “She will be okay. And we will find her soon.”

  The roar of his blood rushing through his veins slowly faded, and he focused on the woman that lay near him. Slowly he realized she was talking to him again as he watched her full, pink lips, remembering what they had been like on his own and instantly craved to touch her again.

  “...need to examine the wrappings to make sure your excursion didn’t do anything to reopen the wound.” She reached for his dressings, and he was relieved that she had fashioned a loincloth for him to wear. While it served the obvious purpose, it also served to prevent him from exposing to her just how much her touch impacted him.

  Her hands moved quickly and efficiently, and he heard her sigh of relief as she looked down at his leg. “It is still healing nicely. We can continue your exercise tomorrow. It shouldn’t take you long to build up your strength.”

  “How long?” he asked, his voice more urgent than he had intended. But he couldn’t keep the hope from his voice at the same time.

  “It’s-it’s hard to estimate, Cade. We can’t rush this. If we do, you’ll be no help to Bella at all. It will take time for you to be able to walk on your own again, and then even longer for you to gain the strength to ride a horse.”

  Cade shook his head and shut his eyes. “Too long. Far too long.”

  “If we rush it, then you may not be able to rescue Bella. We can’t take any risks.”

  “It is a risk every day that I’m not out there looking for her that she is slipping further and further from my grasp. She’s just a child, Olivia. She doesn’t belong in the middle of a war.”

  Olivia’s eyes searched his face. “I know,” she whispered. “Let me go and get her.”

  A new fear suddenly clawed at Cade. Olivia was just stubborn enough to do such a thing, and the outcome for her was guaranteed. The soldiers would use her as their own plaything until they had beaten her physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And then they would either kill her or leave her to die. No matter how many ways he looked at it, the outcome for Olivia was horrific.

  He caught her hand and gripped it tightly. “I can’t let you do that, Olivia. I can’t. There is no way you would make it through alive, and I would never be able to live with myself, even if by some miracle Bella was returned to me.”

  Olivia pulled back from him slightly. “Cade, you don’t know me. You don’t know all that I am capable of. I’ve been a spy for the Texians for many years n
ow. And I’ve come through some dangerous situations where I should have died.” Images suddenly floated before her eyes. Images and smells, and the overwhelming feeling of loss and victory at the same time. “I know how I can help. I know what I can do.”

  Cade had seen the emotions crossing her face, and knew she had seen and done things that no person should ever have to be challenged with, yet she still pressed on. And even now, when it wasn’t her battle to fight, she was ready to step in and help him.

  “No, no. If something happened to you...” His voice trailed off. He couldn’t finish the thought. If something happened to her, he would never be able to forgive himself. “Bella is safe for now, as you said. But we must know what is going on in the war. Are they all still stationed in San Antonio? Or are they on the move? We need information. And since you are a spy...” His voice halted abruptly and he turned a hard gaze on her. “You’re a spy? Do you realize the danger you put yourself in? Do you realize everything that could happen—”

  “I’m very aware. And I have good resources. I need to travel to town tomorrow to get some supplies and check in at the cocina. I’ll be able to get an update on the troops movements then.” She adjusted the pillows around him. “In the meantime, rest. Gather your strength. We’ll exercise again in the morning and then I’ll leave.”

  Cade wanted to argue with her. He didn’t want her doing these things, taking these risks, she was taking for him, but he had no choice. She was his best hope at saving Bella, even though it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up in warning. But before he could voice his concerns, the lull of healing sleep was too strong and he couldn’t resist it any longer.

  Chapter Twelve

  When Olivia pulled up to the cocina, she couldn’t have been more thrilled. It appeared they were thriving with business. Until she realized it was all of the soldiers that had come and fought to take the Alamo.

  Their uniforms were not the standard they had become so familiar with. Instead they were ragtag white uniforms with patches and torn fabric, and many of the men were even without footwear. These were far different soldiers than they had served in the past.

  These men were hard and had expressed barely any emotion as they ate the food in front of them. They had witnessed the most brutal and violent exchanges in their life and, from the faded brown stains of blood on many of them, they had been in direct contact with the men in the Alamo.

  She swept inside the back entrance as if she hadn’t been gone for several days and immediately grabbed an apron that was hanging near the door. She had it on and was already rolling out tortillas before Angie came into the kitchen, balancing dirty plates on her arm. They nearly all crashed to the floor when she saw Olivia as a startled expression and then excitement flashed across her face.

  Olivia hurried forward and helped her with the plates, then turned and embraced her sister, holding her tightly and fighting back tears. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed her family, and her already raw emotions were struggling to maintain her composure.

  She leaned back and smoothed her hands over Angie’s hair, as usual coming free of the loose bun on the top of her head. “How have you been?”

  Angie shook her head. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you, Vi. I’ve missed you so terribly much, something I never thought I would say.”

  Olivia laughed and wiped some flour off of Angie’s cheek. “And it is something I never thought I would hear. How are Abuela and Abuelo? They aren’t working too hard, are they?”

  Angie began to move around the kitchen, preparing plates for the customers that waited on the other side of the wall. “They are working hard, but it isn’t anything more than what we’ve faced in the past.” Her smile faltered slightly and she looked away from Olivia. “There hasn’t been any word.”

  Olivia closed her eyes briefly and said a silent prayer. Angie’s husband had been in the Alamo. And none of the Texian fighters had been spared. Yet her sister still clung to the hope that he was alive, that somehow he had escaped Santa Anna’s merciless slaughter of all of the Texians.

  Olivia smoothed her hands on her apron and returned to rolling out the dough for the tortillas. “So is Santa Anna still here? Or is he returning to Mexico?”

  Angie’s smile returned. “We’re not giving up. We won’t let them win. Santa Anna is still here, but he has sent his other forces to the East. Houston is pulling back... I think to gather more men. Santa Anna knows that the war will never end unless Houston admits defeat, and that will never happen.”

  Olivia’s heart was pounding. The Mexican Army was on the move, which meant little Bella could be on the move, too. “Angie, I need your help.”

  Angie stopped pouring chile sauce over enchiladas and looked at Olivia with concern. “What is it? Are you alright? Por Dios, I didn’t even ask you how things are going tending to your Texian. What has happened?”

  Olivia smiled at her and helped her finish the next two plates. “Let’s get this food out to the hungry men and then we will talk. Don’t worry—I am safe. But our Texian isn’t. And I need your help to make sure he doesn’t lose everything in his life.”

  Bella was being treated with the type of behavior to be expected from a dictator who enjoyed using people for his own benefit. The stories of Santa Anna’s generals having a small girl with them had filtered through over the past few days, and the soldiers had laughed as they had described how gullible the foolish people were that had tried to come and take over their beloved Mexico.

  “When they arrive at a town, they drag her out for everyone to see her. And then a general will order one of the men to cut her throat if no one steps forward and gives him information about Houston. Inevitably, someone steps forward, sometimes even more than one person because they can’t bear the thought of that sweet baby dying because they held their tongues.”

  Olivia wiped a hand down her face, wishing she could hold a knife to Santa Anna’s throat. She was exhausted, and needed to return to Cade as soon as possible. She had already been to the market and the small wagon and mule waited at the side of the house. But getting the information on Bella was the most important thing at the moment. Now, knowing that Bella was even further out of their grasp than she had anticipated, her whole body was engulfed in weariness and despair. She felt drained, hollow... lifeless.

  “Do you know where they are now?” she asked, clinging to hope.

  Angie shook her head. “Not precisely. I know they are drawing close to the Colorado River. Whether they plan to cross it or not, I don’t know. It may be where Houston stops to fight them.”

  Fear prickled down Olivia’s spine. If they battled, the chance of Bella surviving was very slim. They had to get to her soon. But Cade was in no condition.

  Angie reached out and grasped Olivia’s hand. “You haven’t heard, yet, have you?”

  Olivia’s eyes searched her sister’s. “Heard what?” Her heart was racing in her chest.

  “There was a battle at Refugio.” Angie’s eyes shimmered with tears. “They executed every single Texian, even those who surrendered.”

  “Dear God.” Olivia gripped her sister’s hand more tightly and fought off her own tears, knowing that she always had to be the strong one. “They are animals. We must stop them!”

  “We will. I know we will. Houston is a good general. He will beat Santa Anna.” Angie’s face was firm in her conviction.

  Olivia nodded, even though she knew deep in her heart that more Texians were going to die under the ruthless command of Santa Anna. She also knew Houston was their last hope in winning the war.

  Olivia glanced outside and saw that the sun was beginning to set low in the trees. “I better head back before it gets dark,” she murmured to herself, but Angie overheard her.

  “Will you make it before it is dark? Maybe you should stay the night here. I’m certain your Texian will survive one night without you. There is no sense in putting yourself in danger.”

  Olivia plastered a smile
on her face and shook her head. “I’ll be just fine. As long as the mule doesn’t slip and fall in the mud.” She forced a laugh, but it didn’t fool Angie.

  “I’ve never seen you smile so much. This Texian must be good for you. But be careful, Vi. We miss you so much. It was a blessing having your help today. But you’re going to wear yourself to nothing if you keep working so hard and taking care of this Texian. Why is he so special, Vi? Why are you doing so much for him?”

  Olivia didn’t hesitate in her answer. “He’s a good man who has given up a great deal to support the revolution. The least we can do is help mend him and see him back protecting all of us.”

  Angie raised an eyebrow and Olivia felt a blush creeping up her neck. She turned quickly and headed to the rear door. She paused and turned, smiling at Angie, a genuine smile this time. “Thank you, Angie, for everything.”

  Angie rushed forward and gathered Olivia in a deep hug. “I love you, Vi.”

  Olivia had to hold back her tears. “I love you too,” she whispered softly, then turned and was gone.

  The mud made for an extremely difficult trek back to the house. The mule’s feet slid as it sought solid ground to walk on, and the wagon lurched each time, making Olivia a little ill to her stomach.

  But as she got further away from the mud tracks of town she was able to guide the mule onto an area that had some patches of grass and he could have better traction. Soon they were moving along smoothly, though not as fast as Olivia would have liked.

  The sun was dipping lower and lower, and she had promised Cade she would be back before sundown. It was going to take a miracle to make that happen. She slapped the reins on the mule’s rear and clucked to it, urging it to pick up the pace.

  She was more than halfway there when she heard the sound. Beating almost in rhythm to her rapid heartbeat were the thundering of hooves. She didn’t look behind her, she just moved forward at the same pace she had been. Ice cold fear slid down her back and her stomach clenched.