Texas Desire

by Holly Castillo

  Cade nodded. “Same here, Sam. It will be a glorious day when Texas gains her freedom.”

  General Houston then turned to Olivia and a soft smile lit up his face. “Had I known I would’ve had someone as beautiful as you in my camp today, I would have tried to make myself more presentable. But since you’ve been around this ugly fellow for the last several weeks, I’m sure I’ve still been a welcome change.”

  Olivia laughed lightly. “Of course, general. I, too, look forward to seeing you on the other side and witness the beginning of something incredibly great for the people of Texas.”

  He bowed over her hand and kissed the back of it lightly. “It has been an honor, Ms. Torres. And you certainly do not match the description I’ve heard rumored. Take care of yourself and”—he jerked his head in Cade’s direction—“take care of him, please.”

  Olivia’s smile seemed to light the tent brighter than the lamp placed on the tale, and Cade wanted to pull her out of Sam’s grip and make sure everyone and anyone would know she belonged to him, and only to him. But he restrained himself, and they finally exited the tent, after Sam had already notified the two guards at his entrance to be sure they received the best campfire and at least a couple of saddles to lay their heads. It was going to be a long night.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Despite the fact that the temperatures had started to warm up some during the days, the nights were still brutally cold. Olivia could see her breath plume in the air as she exhaled and, subconsciously, she wrapped her arms around herself.

  Cade came across a couple of soldiers that camped near a large fire, and used some of the few coins of American currency he still had to convince them to part with their bed rolls and a spare blanket.

  They moved to an area of the camp that wasn’t as congested, but still close enough to the soldiers for protection, and Cade went to work putting together a fire for them. By the time he had a good one roaring, Olivia had been able to pull together some leftover beans and bread from a nearby group of soldiers, and had also gathered them a canteen of cool water. It was by no means a feast, but it would be a welcome break to the dried beef they’d been eating the last several weeks.

  Olivia gave the canteen to Cade first, and he drank from it gratefully after having to blow on the dampened tinder to get it to finally ignite. The rain was causing havoc on a lot of things, not just the traveling. Frowning down at the damp soil, he finally placed one of the blankets that had a sleeker side down and quickly placed the rolls where their heads would rest.

  It was with a sigh of relief that they both sat down on a nearby stump and began to dig into the meager portions. Olivia watched Cade closely, waiting for him to provide her with an explanation for what he had revealed during their earlier conversation with General Houston, but he remained silent as he used his bread to mop up the last bits of the sauce the beans had been cooked in.

  She began to feel frustrated, the same frustration she had been struggling with ever since she found out that he was much closer to General Houston than he had ever implied to her. It wasn’t as if he owed her an explanation of all of his relationships, but she had thought their relationship was close enough at this point that he would have wanted to tell her about such a thing.

  And then the revelation that he had been a man of the law? Maybe she hadn’t asked him enough questions as they got to know each other. But he had stated to her that he had been raising cattle, and that he was about to go on his first trail drive with his own cattle this spring when he had been taken by the Mexican Army.

  She glanced down at the food in her small tin bowl and realized she had eaten every last bit without even tasting it. She gathered her bowl, then took Cade’s from his, and used a bit of water from the canteen to clean it out, as little as it actually needed to be cleaned concerning that they had practically licked them dry.

  Exhausted beyond means, she made move towards the blankets. Cade’s hand shot out and grabbed hers, pulling her back towards him. She gasped as she was spun around and landed in his lap.

  His face was level with hers, and his eyes were serious. “How are you, angel? I know a lot has been thrown at you today.”

  Olivia closed her eyes and sighed heavily, resting her forehead against his. “That’s the lightest way to say it, Cade,” she whispered, bringing her hands up to thread through his hair.

  She waited for several long moments, expecting him to begin explaining himself, but he was silent as they leaned against each other. Finally, Olivia couldn’t take it any longer, and she pushed herself to her feet and went to the blankets. The chill from leaving Cade’s arms literally and figuratively struck her. It seemed the temperature had dropped another ten degrees since she had been pulled back into his arms. And he had certainly left her cold with his lack of information.

  She settled down on the soft ground and was about to wrap the blanket around her when Cade slid in tightly behind her and wrapped them up intimately. “You know, angel, it’s okay to tell me when you’re mad at me.”

  Olivia turned her head, but her hair blocked her view of his face. She spun around in his arms and lifted herself up on one elbow. “What makes you think I’m mad at you?”

  He leaned in towards her. “When was the last time you passed up the chance to kiss me goodnight?”

  Olivia stared him down. “You usually fall asleep by the time I kiss you goodnight.”

  “You just think I’m asleep. Besides, I’m awake for all of the kissing before that,” he said, arching an eyebrow at her.

  “It’s been a long day for both of us. I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?”

  “With you, angel, I will never be too exhausted for that.”

  Olivia fought the smile that was threatening to pull at the corners of her mouth. “We’ve also never been camped so close to others.”

  “Are you afraid these brave men around us are going to hear your charming laughter? Good point. I won’t tickle you tonight. I don’t want anyone coming around to check on us.”

  “Cade, how could you hold back on telling me that you are good friends with Sam Houston? And, better yet, why didn’t you tell me about your experience as a lawman? Don’t you think these would be things you should share with me?”

  “Ah, and now the truth finally comes through.”

  Olivia withheld the punch curling up in her fist. “Is that your answer?”

  He flashed her a smile and she began to turn back around, but he wouldn’t let her, and his smile quickly turned to a look of remorse. “I’m sorry, angel. I’m sorry. I know there are some things that took you by surprise tonight.”

  “Why, Cade? What did I do that made you think you couldn’t trust me?” Olivia couldn’t stop the ache in her heart, as well as its rapid pounding as she waited for his response.

  “It had nothing to do with trust. I just... well, I just couldn’t have you thinking about me a certain way.”

  “I certainly think of you a certain way now,” she said through gritted teeth, trying to hold back her anger.

  Cade’s expression was exacerbated, and she didn’t understand why. Didn’t he understand that she was the one that had been kept in the dark? She was the one that had been caught off-guard and put in a vulnerable position?

  Cade shook his head. “I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of explaining myself.”

  “Shall I get you a bitter shovel to fling around your piles of crap? What did you think was going to happen when it came to light that you are one of the best friends to the man who is leading our charge against Santa Anna? And exactly how did you expect me to react to hearing that you were a former lawman? Seriously, Cade... why keep so much from me?”

  “If I told you I was a former lawman when I first met you, how would you have treated me? And then, if I followed up that statement with the fact that I am extremely close to General Sam Houston, you would have laughed at me till you cried. You still might. There are very few people who know my background, but I will share it w
ith you if you want me to.”

  Olivia glared at him. “All of this time—all of this time that we’ve been together, that you’ve told me about your life, that you’ve told me about your children, and your time out east... All of this time, and you neglected to include this information because you were worried that I would laugh at you? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

  Cade propped himself on his elbow so he was closer to eye level with her. “It’s not that you would just laugh at me. It’s that you would laugh at me because you wouldn’t believe me. You would think I’m a complete fake, fabricating stories to garner your help and, even better, your attention. And, I didn’t know how much I could trust you, either.”

  “You didn’t—you didn’t know how—” Olivia sputtered and her nails dug into the skin of her palms as she fought the incredible urge to punch him. “I saved your life. I have spent countless hours trying to make sure you lived. And you didn’t know if you could trust me?”

  Cade closed his eyes briefly, as if trying to maintain his composure. “You forget that you were a stranger to me from the beginning. I knew you were an ally to the Texians, but that was all I knew. And considering the fact that I had just been betrayed by a man I considered a true friend and loyal Texian, you can surely understand why I was so hesitant to trust anyone.”

  Olivia wanted to stay angry with him, but what he was saying made complete and perfect sense. He was right to be wary and cautious given what he had gone through. “But still, Cade, why couldn’t you at least have shared with me that you are a lawman?”

  “Was. It’s in my past.” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t like to talk about it much,” he said, lowering his hand and looking her in the eyes. “I was the sheriff for the small town we lived near—Columbus, Texas. I enjoyed it thoroughly.”

  Olivia was confused. “So why do you not like to talk about it?”

  “What do you think when you learn that someone was a sheriff, or a Texas Ranger, or any representation of the law?”

  “I think that person is strong, brave... and can protect me and my loved ones.”

  “But I failed at that, don’t you see? I couldn’t even protect my whole family. How can I protect an entire town? I know they’ve replaced me by now, and I pray for the person who did. The weight you carry on your shoulders—the responsibility...” His voice trailed off.

  “Cade, what happened to your family was because you were betrayed. It has nothing to do with you being a man of the law.”

  “Yet you will look at me differently. You will think of me as greater than I really am. Because there is a sense of responsibility that comes along with carrying a badge. But I no longer have that badge, Olivia. I lost it the day I lost my son because I couldn’t protect him. I lost it the day my daughter was kidnapped. I am no longer a man of the law. I’m a man seeking revenge, and there is nothing lawful about that,”

  Olivia finally understood. And her heart ached for him. She reached up and placed her hand along his cheek, and he held it there firmly, the turned his head and kissed her palm.

  His eyes looked at hers beseechingly. “You understand now, don’t you? You understand why I didn’t tell you everything?”

  “I understand. I just wish you had told me sooner and that I didn’t have to learn this way. I wish you would have trusted me sooner.”

  “I trusted you. But how could I even bring up the topic without it seeming pompous or arrogant? No, this has worked for the best. And now you carry all of my dark secrets. I’m terrified to learn all of yours.” He teased, a slight smile touching his lips.

  She shook her head. “I’ve always thought you are pompous and arrogant, so if you had told me all of these things, it wouldn’t have made me think any differently about you.”

  Cade chuckled and wrapped his arm around her waist, hauling her closer to him. “We’re going to find her tomorrow, angel. I can feel it.”

  Olivia pulled his head to hers and kissed him passionately, her lips moving eagerly over his, and he moaned in pleasure. Slowly he rolled her, his hand cupping the back of her head, until she was flat on her back and he lay halfway on top of her.

  He broke away from their heated kiss to her disappointment, but moved on to press kisses to her jawline, and slowly moved down to her neck. She arched her neck, giving him greater access, and affording him a better view of the mounds of her breasts already peaked hard and ready for his touch.

  His lips moved down to her collar bone, and she sighed with pleasure. She was going to let him take the lead on this one and just lie back and enjoy. She would just enjoy the sweet caresses of his fingers on her body and relax in the warm, comfortable bedding...

  Teasingly, Cade kissed her collarbone, then nipped it lightly with his teeth. But when it didn’t illicit any response from her, his eyes darted to her face and he let out a low chuckle. His angel had fallen asleep.

  Revelry sounded close to four in the morning of April twenty-first on the Texian camp’s side. Cade and Olivia were already in the grass, carefully making their way back to the Mexican camp. They cringed slightly as the drummer marched through the Texians camp, rousing the slumbering soldiers. But he made sure to steer clear of General Houston’s tent, as their leader had specifically requested to be awoken later in the morning so he could finally catch up on some much needed slumber.

  They reached the Mexican Army’s camp before the soldiers had even stirred. They quickly made it to the spot where they had the white uniforms stored, but Olivia stopped before she donned the garments.

  “Why should I wear this?” she whispered. “There are several women moving in and about the camp, tending to the soldier’s needs and bringing the food to them. I can do that.”

  Cade continued pulling on his uniform, but his brow was furrowed with thought. Finally, he nodded his head. “That is probably for the best. It was obvious yesterday that you were unable to do some of the heavy labor, and it could cause too many questions. This will be less suspicious.”

  Together they let the small, cluster of shrubs that had served as their dressing room and crept back to camp. They nearly jumped out of their skin with the revelry suddenly started to play for the Mexican side, nearly a full hour later than the Texians.

  But the tensions in the camp were high as the Mexican Army seemed certain the Texians were going to attack by daylight. Olivia busied herself refilling canteens for the soldiers, while Cade moved through the camp slowly, his eyes constantly seeking tiny legs and feet and shiny brown hair.

  Olivia listened to the various conversations among the men in the camp, and they didn’t understand why they weren’t attacking, instead of having to wait for the other side. They also bragged amongst themselves that they would take down this insurgence the same way they had destroyed General Fannin’s men and the men of the Alamo. She made sure their canteens held a bit more dirt and grit.

  The morning hours waned on, and the camp became even more restless. But Santa Anna continued to order them to be on the lookout... not just for the Texians, but also for General Cos and his men who were due to arrive soon.

  Word that General Cos was coming disheartened Cade and Olivia, especially when they learned the large number of men he was bringing with him. By midmorning rumors circulated that Cos was going to appear, leading hundreds of men to join Santa Anna. If the rumors were true, Santa Anna would have nearly fifteen-hundred men compared to General Houston’s eight hundred. They would be outnumbered nearly two to one.

  Cade and Olivia continued moving through the camp, performing as the other soldiers and women did, keeping their heads down, though. They couldn’t afford to make eye contact with anyone who might recognize them. Fortunately, Cade wore a hat that covered his startling blue eyes, one of his defining features, and Olivia wore her hair down instead of in a bun, and it would be virtually impossible for anyone to recognize her without that.

  Around midmorning, Cade and Olivia snuck off into a secluded
oak copse where they embraced briefly, offering each other comfort. “I haven’t seen her, Cade. We’re going to have to find a way to check the tents.”

  “That’s going to be near impossible with all of the officers going in and out. Unless we come up with plan to explain why we are sneaking in to those tents—”

  Suddenly the atmosphere around them seemed to change. There was a lightness, an almost cheerfulness. Cos’s men had arrived.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Santa Anna was addressing his troops, dressed in his fine uniform, his decorated hat upon his head. He was magnificent to look at, Olivia had to admit. He was a striking figure. But his eyes were cold and heartless, and his words were hard.

  In Spanish, he told the troops that the Texians were too afraid to attack them, and that they hid just across the field of grass, hunkered down like little children. He told them that the new “government” the Texians had established had fled in terror when they heard that General Santa Anna was headed their way.

  He bragged that his magnificent cavalry had already driven back the Texians, and that they were trapped, with no way to escape. Victory was theirs to rejoice in! And since the Texians were such cowards, the Mexican Army deserved some much needed rest and relaxation as soon as they had finished their lunch. And if the Texians didn’t make a move on them by dusk, they would take matters into their own hands.

  He praised them for all the success they had already had, and he talked about their incredible overtaking of the Alamo, and how he had made certain that none of the traitors had survived. Olivia’s stomach clenched, and the image of Lorenzo’s laughing face flashed through her mind. How was Angie ever going to raise her child in this harsh world without a father?

  Then, unbelievably, his dismissed them, telling them to get their food and take a siesta. Cade and Olivia looked at each other in disbelief. How could they possibly be taking a nap at a time like this? Their enemy was just on the other side of a field, potentially preparing to attack at any moment.