by Julia North
“Here have this,” she said, giving Thandi a shilling.
The other mother handed the two ice cream cones to her and then took her black purse to also put a shilling into Thandi’s hands.
“Thank you, mothers,” said Thandi in her sweetest voice giving them a smile like the angel.
I smiled inside at my clever sister. She knew just how to play these mothers. I winked at her when she turned to look at me. She winked back and then started her dance again as I beat away at the drums.
“The white girls will also be good pickings, Thandi,” I said as her feet jumped again to the beat.
“Oh she’s so cute,” said one, as Thandi held up her smiling face and moved her little feet too fast, “but she should be in school, not dancing.”
Thandi stretched out her arms and showed her palms to the women. They both pulled a sad face and put a shilling each in her upturned hands.
“God bless you, mams,” said Thandi with a smile.
The girls looked over at me with a frown and then gave her another shilling. I made hate eyes at them.
“Why they looking bad at you?” said Thandi.
I shrugged. “Because you are not in the school; they are so stupid. Don’t they know my dream is for the school?”
“Bitches,” said Thandi, pulling a face.
“Yes, horrible bitches.” I laughed and gave her a hug. “One day when I’m big I’ll have lots of money and send you to the school.”
“Yes, I want lots of money and I want to go the smart school,” said Thandi with bright eyes. “I want the nice uniform.”
“Okay. I will try hard,” I said. “Now dance.” I straightened my back and hit the drum with strong arms. “One more and then we can go. It is a good day today,” I said, “we will eat well tonight.”
Thandi nodded and then her feet drummed as she danced for more mothers and a fat man coming along by the water. The seedpods flew up and down and jangle, jangled through the air. The fat man looked at us over his pot stomach but pulled a face like we were dirt and kept walking. I stared with slit eyes at his back but kept hitting the drum as the mothers came past. They looked at Thandi with her big eyes and smiled and each gave her a shilling.
“Okay. It’s enough. You are tired,” I said. “Come, let me count the shillings.”
We ran down towards the river and sat like frogs on the wet sand. Thandi pushed her sore feet into its cool wet as I counted our silver.
“We have nine shillings. Ay, this is too good,” I said with a big smile. “I think we can even buy the KFC today.”
“Yay,” said Thandi clapping her hands together. “I love the KFC.”
We ran through the hot dirt streets of the city to a side alley in the Arula district where I knew there was a KFC place. It was full of many people shouting and shoving to buy the chicken. I held tight to Thandi‘s hand and pushed past them to the counter.
“Two pieces chicken and chips,” I shouted loud at the man. He looked at me with narrow eyes. “Six shillings.”
I put the shillings loud on the counter. He looked at them and then at me like I was the thief. I looked hard back. He turned and shouted our order and soon we were back outside the shop stuffing the spicy chicken and fat chips into our mouths.
The sun had fallen fast and the street was full of shadows. We moved to the door of the next door shop and squatted down in front of its grey steel door to eat.
“This is too good,” I said smiling with a big chicken mouth at Thandi.
Thandi nodded and stuffed another fat chip into her mouth. She put up a shiny hand and gave me a high five. My stomach grew warm inside. It was good that she had a brother like me to feed her.
Sideways I saw some soldiers in camouflage standing across from us, looking hard at me. My heart jumped. Why were they looking at me like that? I put another chip in my mouth and chewed slower, keeping watch from the side of my eyes. Then one of the soldiers moved for us. He was very tall with strong arms and legs like the buffalo.
“Hey you,” he shouted. “Come here.”
He took a big step across the road. “I said, come here,” he shouted.
My mind went round and round. Why was his voice so full of hate? Why?
“You,” he shouted again, showing me to come with his fat finger. He took big soldier steps towards us. My heart jumped to my mouth.
“Modetse, what they want?” Thandi’s eyes grew very big.
“I don’t know. Just run,” I said, dropping my KFC and grabbing her hand.
I pulled Thandi past the people on the pavement with the soldiers’ hard boots coming, “doff, doff, doff” behind us. What did they want? Why did they look with such hate?
My heart blocked my ears with heavy beats. My chest grew tight as we ran and ran through the many people in the street.
“I’m scared…Modetse…I’m scared.”
“Just run, Thandi, run. Don’t stop,” I panted. “We mustn’t stop.”
“Hey, you kids. What you doing?” said an old man as we pushed past him. “You’re thiefs,” he said. He tried to catch us.
“Leave us you fool. The soldiers are trying to take us.”
“You’re thiefs, that’s why,” he said. “You must catch them, sahs. You must beat them. They’re dirty thiefs.”
Other people on the pavement started shouting and tried to snatch at us. I went fast in and out by them and pulled Thandi screaming behind me. A strong hand grabbed my arm so hard that I thought it had said goodbye to my shoulder. Thandi’s hand slipped away and I fell with a thud, thud, onto the road. The hand pushed me down by my chest. It was the fat soldier. I pushed against his big hand but it was no good. The fear ate my mind. My breath was stuck in my throat. Thandi stood frozen, looking with big eyes.
“Run, my sister, run,” I shouted.
The soldier made a horrible smile. “Knock him out,” he said.
Another soldier with coffee skin and a nose like an Arab bent over me and took out a cloth and brown bottle from his top pocket. I fought against the fat soldier’s iron hands but it was no good. I heard the cork pop in my ear.
“Hmmm…” I screamed against his hand, which he clamped across my mouth. I kicked my feet and tried to hit him with my free arm. The fat soldier pushed my arm hard onto the pavement and a pain shot up my shoulder. I groaned. The Arab nose soldier put something from the bottle onto the cloth and pressed it hard against my nose and mouth. A fuzzy feeling like the glue came over me and a bitter smell blacked out my brain.
Chapter 3
My mind was still fuzzy as the fat soldier and the Arab one carried me away from Thandi. I could hear her screams following me. They threw me in the air and I landed hard with a clunk on cold metal. I could smell diesel. Then the roar of an engine started and the fat soldier climbed in next to me. The smell of his sweat was so strong in my nose that my stomach shot into my mouth. What truck was this? Who were these men who had caught me? Why?
“Aargh!” My back hit hard against the iron floor of the truck as it bounced along the road. The engine roared louder. I could smell the oil of the guns and my body prickled. Where were they taking me? Aiee, what would happen now to Thandi? Had they caught her also? My heart beat so loud that I had to gasp for air.
The truck hit a pothole and my teeth bit into my tongue. The iron taste of blood filled my mouth. I swallowed it down. It was good I was hurt. I wanted to taste my own blood. I was a stupid. I had let the catch me and I’d failed Thandi. If Umama were alive she would be cross that her only son had failed so bad. A sob grew up from deep in my belly and came out my mouth.
The fat soldier looked down at me with an ugly mouth. His round face was so close to mine that I could smell the stink of old beer on his breath. I looked away, scared by the hate I saw in his eyes. He snorted and shifted on his backside. I stared at his side by his thick arm. The long barrel of an AK47 gun lay across it. The silver of a machete smiled ugly from the other side of his belt. I shivered.
The soldier
must have smelt my fear. His nostrils went wide and his lip went to the side.
“Ha, you are crying. We do not like crybabies,” he said. “You must be a soldier boy now. If you cry we will cut you so that all your blood runs out. Here, drink,” he commanded as he pushed a dirty water bottle to my mouth.
I tried to sit up to drink it but my arms were too weak. He yanked me up by my shoulder and I grasped the bottle and tried to hold it still enough to get a drink. He laughed and pressed it hard against my mouth, pulling my head back with one hand and pouring the water down my throat so I gulped and spluttered. I took big breaths through my nose and let the cool water wash away some of the hurting from my brain.
“Where’s my sister, sah?” I whispered as soon as he took the bottle away.
“You have no sister,” said the soldier. “She was too young for us. She’ll find a new brother.”
I let out a shaky sigh. At least they had not taken Thandi or chopped her with their evil machetes. But she was all alone on the rubbish. How would she live? I scrunched up my eyes to stop the tears. I must stay strong and get away. I must get back to her.
I looked around the truck. There was a boy with a blindfold and hair like a scarecrow sitting at the side. He wore ragged clothes and had many open sores on his legs, which stuck out from under his shorts like sticks. He sat tense and still with his fists clenched at his side. Another dark boy lay with his body curled like a question mark in front of him. He looked older than me and had muscles in his arms and legs. I wondered where they had caught him. He did not look like someone from the streets. His arms were curled around his head and I couldn’t see his face. I turned as I heard a small cry from the other side. I saw the fat soldier grab a small boy from the corner and heard a crack as he hit the boy across the head.
“Stop sniveling,” he shouted, as he threw him across the back of the truck. “We’ve not time for crying brats.”
Enoch’s face, full of fear, passed in front of me as he fell in a heap on the side. My heart dropped. It was very bad they had caught him. He was not strong enough. Enoch’s thin face crumpled with the tears and I frowned at him.
“Enough,” shouted the soldier.
Enoch curled himself into a ball to get away from his hate. The soldier kicked him hard in the stomach and he screamed.
I held my breath in my body and hoped he would not throw him onto the road, which bumped beneath us. There was a knock from the cab window and the fat soldier turned to look.
“Hey, Bilole, take a beer,” said the Arab nose soldier as he slid open the window and gave the fat soldier a big can of Tusker.
I leaned forward and looked around the truck. Sipho was in the corner with his arms around his bent up legs. My stomach dropped some more. Now there was no one back with Thandi. Sipho looked at me. His eyes were full with the tears. Aiee, fear ate at me inside like a tiger. I needed glue to take it away. I began to shake and stared in front, trying to chase the fright thoughts from my head.
The boy with the funny hair groaned as the truck swung round the corner. I saw now that there were also girls in the truck. Three had blindfolds on but one stared forward with eyes like a scared buck. She had on a dirty torn pink dress with small flowers. They must also come from the streets.
The truck turned off the road and began bumping through the bush. The grass was high and yellow on each side of us and the air was thick with the sweet smell of the bush. My back bounced harder as we went down the small dongas and ditches. I clenched my teeth so that I would not cry out. Sipho gave a cry as his head hit the side and the fat soldier laughed. The soldiers talked loud and joked in Swahili.
Then the truck went onto a dirt road with tall wattle trees with white spotted trunks and many dark green leaves on each side. They blurred past and made me feel dizzy but their shade was cool. My head still throbbed from the poison they had given me which felt like bad glue in my brain. I closed my eyes to try and stop the vomit coming up.
All of a sudden the fat soldier stood up. He shot his AK47 high into the air. The thunder from his killer bullet made my ears dead. He turned and shouted something at us. I nodded at him with bug eyes and looked to see if the other boys could hear. Then my ears popped and the truck’s tires squealed off the road and across into the veld. A big bump threw me forward so hard that my head hit the side of the truck. Then the tires screeched to a stop and I was flung back up.
We stopped in the veld with high yellow grass all around. I sat still and breathed hard. The fat soldier was talking to the Arab one through the cab window. I stared around. Far at the side of the veld stood many tall breadfruit trees full with deep green leaves and bunches of big yellow fruit that looked like the rugby balls. In front there were many long dark wood buildings. Soldiers stood around them. All wore the camouflage and carried AK 47s. One tall soldier with afro hair took some steps closer and aimed his AK47 at us. I held my breath and heard Sipho make a small cry. The soldier made to shoot us but no sound came out. I gave a big sigh and shivered inside. The soldier laughed at our fear then moved to join more groups of soldiers who were playing cards near the trees. They also had AK47s and had strings of bullets around their front. At their side sat sharp machetes.
I looked away from them to the far side. There was a high guard hut with an iron pole next to it and a dirt track. It lifted as a jeep full with soldiers came through. All around was a high wire fence with barbed wire on top. I followed it with my eyes until it disappeared behind the rows of breadfruit trees. It would tear to pieces anyone who tried to climb it.
My heart beat heavy in my head and my nostrils burned. How would I ever escape? How would I ever get back to Thandi? I felt empty without her; like someone had cut my arms from my body, but these soldiers would shoot me with their devil bullets if I tried to run. I would have to think and be clever before I could find a way to get back.
The boy with the wild hair had his blindfold off now and the other dark boy was sitting up straight. They both looked out with eyes like trapped nyala and sour faces.
I heard a soldier shout to the side of us. I looked over and saw many young boys like us with a soldier in front of them. The boys were trying to stand like spears but the big grey stones in their hands were pulling them down. The soldier man walked up to one and hit him across the head so hard that the boy fell down and the sound cracked across the air. The soldier kicked him. My stomach felt sick and I looked away.
On the other side of the field sat more wooden towers with soldiers on top and more of the fence with its evil teeth. Fear ate into me. I held my mouth tight so that I would not scream. I would never get out of this place. All over, like a thousand hungry lions, eyes were watching, just waiting for me to try so that they could pounce and kill me.
I began to shake and big drops of sweat covered my face. I would never see Thandi again. I had failed to take care of her. I began to shake as the truth of her alone on the dump grew real in my mind. “No, I must not think like that,” I told myself in my head. “I must stay strong and try and find a way back to her.”
Suddenly the fat soldier stood up and threw open the back of the truck with a loud clank. My body jerked as he pulled me up and pushed me out onto the hard ground. I stumbled to the side of the truck as the soldiers outside turned to look at me with the cold eyes. My legs shook under me and my brain screamed. I wished Umama could come back to help me.
Someone was pushed into me and I turned to see Enoch. He looked up at me with fear eyes full with the tears. His bottom lip shook. I frowned at him and pulled a face.
“Stay strong, Enoch,” I whispered.
Another boy was pushed out from the back. I had not seen him before in the truck. He was more big than me and his skin was like coffee; his eyes were wise and big with long cow lashes. He saw me staring and whispered, “I am David; keep your eyes front.”
“I am Modetse,” I whispered back. His voice was low and had kindness in it. It helped my fear.
The boy David nodded and g
ave Enoch a small smile while he looked at him with sad eyes. Enoch’s mouth was trembling and he just dribbled. He was too lost in his fear to even smile back.
“Be strong,” I whispered to him. “Stay by me.” I looked at him and inside my stomach felt sick. How could I protect him here?
Shh,” said David. “They are coming.”
I saw the fat solider move towards us. He had Sipho in front and was sticking his back with the AK47. Sipho kept his head looking down and walked forward with quick steps. His legs were shaking too much.
“Get into a line now,” he shouted at all of us as he pushed Sipho into me. I moved up and so did the boy David so Sipho could join in the line. “Go. Line up by those trees near the bush. Move!”
The Arab one jumped from the cab of the truck and marched up to the fat solider as we began to move. He held his AK47 high in the air and his machete glinted at his side. He had the frightened girls in front of him. I looked at the machete. I’d heard many bad stories about them and I shivered. There was an expensive gold watch on his arm. He took some sunglasses with gold frames from his top pocket and put them on. He walked like he was a film star. I could see from his proud walk that he would feel nothing to kill.
“Move faster to the trees fast you fucking pieces of shit,” he shouted at all of us. “You lot. Move to that side,” he shouted as he pushed the girls to the side of us. “I want you on that side of the trees, now!”
The girls made squeaking sounds with their eyes full of tears and ran towards the side of the breadfruit trees.
The Arab soldier watched them go and then turned and pointed his AK47 at us. We broke into a run. I ran behind the boy David with Enoch in front. Sipho panted behind me. The air grew thick with my panic.
“Stand to attention,” shouted the Arab solider as we reached the trees.
We turned to face him and made a long line with straight backs. The air was hot and heavy and I could smell the damp bush around us mixed with the sweet smell of our sweat.