by Julia North
“So, soldier boys,” said Commander Mobuto, “tonight you are going to see the Rambo movie. You are lucky, soldier boys, hey?”
“Yes, sah,” we said.
I’d never heard about this Rambo but my stomach was excited because I’d never seen a proper movie before. Mobuto grunted and pulled his pants over his fat pot stomach. He went to a machine by Bilole, picked up a black plastic square and pushed it into the machine. The machine whirred, loud music started and a picture came up across the wall. I stared at it with wide eyes.
“It is called First Blood,” said David. “It’s about a solider.”
“Oh,” I said, looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Have you seen the movie before?”
“No, but my brother he told me about this movie. He works in the city. I think this man Rambo is too clever.”
I nodded thinking David was clever too. Even though I hated these men, my head buzzed waiting for this movie.
A big white soldier came on the screen. His arms were filled with muscles and his face was stern with long black hair across his head. I stared at him with big eyes and leaned forward. I had never seen anyone like him. “He is too good,” I whispered to David as he fought all the men. No one could beat him. He was like magic.
David leaned forward to the movie and Sipho’s eyes were like the owl. We turned to each other and smiled. Jabu and Richard too were smiling. I forgot where we were as we watched the movie. It was like I was there with this man Rambo. He won all the battles because he was such a good shot and so good with the knife. We all shouted and cheered every time. I wished Thandi could see this. She would love to see the movie and be proud that I also was a good shot. Then the music started and the writing came across the wall. We sat quiet. I wanted to see more of this man but then Commander Mobuto came in front. He had a big smile on his face and his tooth shone at us.
“So, soldier boys,” he said. “Now you see what it is to be a soldier. You want to train and be like Rambo, hey? Do you?”
“Yes, sah,” we all shouted.
“Well, you better train hard. We don’t have failures here. You must all be like Rambo if you want to live. Do you hear?”
“We hear, sah,” we said.
“Good. Stand and salute. Now!”
We scrambled to our feet like the crabs and gave Mobuto the salute. He saluted back and then marched from the hut. We stayed stiff until Bilole shouted at us to follow him.
As I got back in my bed my spirit felt confused. The bed was hard and the grey blanket was itchy but I had the pillow and I was warm and had eaten well. Inside I ached for Thandi and my stomach felt sick when I thought of her. I didn’t know how I could escape this place. I didn’t know what to even think. These men were cruel and Enoch was dead but then they were nice, gave us food and showed us the movie. My mind was still full of the Rambo pictures. I would become like Rambo and then I would get Thandi back. This thought made me smile and I closed my eyes and pretended I was with Rambo, fighting all these men to get back to my sister.
It seemed like I had just gone to sleep when someone banged on the door. I jerked awake and sat up so did the others. Bilole’s big body came in the door.
“Get up,” he shouted. “It’s five a.m. you are to run around the field. Move. I want you lined up in two minutes.”
We scrambled into our clothes in the weak yellow light and ran out to form a line behind Bilole. We jogged behind his fat backside, which moved like the bull elephant’s as the sky started to turn dark pink. Soon we were on the field and panting our way around while Bilole stood in the middle.
“Again. You must do it ten times. Faster or I will beat you,” he shouted.
I counted “one two, one two,” as I ran and my heart beat hard. I pushed my teeth together and breathed through my nose. My legs hurt but I kept going. “One two, one two.” The ground was coming up to me but I must not fail, I must not fail.
“Stop. Get to breakfast,” shouted Bilole at last. “You eat in the dining hall all the time now.”
I gave a big sigh, bent over and panted until my heart slowed. The sun was a yellow ball now, low in the sky, which had turned to blue. We marched behind Bilole to the same hut with the long tables. They gave us stiff white maize meal and water. I put big spoons in my mouth. It was sweet and stuck inside my mouth. My stomach was happy to be there even if my mind was not.
Commander Mobuto came just as we finished.
“You will shoot again today,” he said. “Make quick.”
“Line up and salute your commander,” shouted Bilole.
We scrabbled to our feet and gave the salute and then we marched behind Bilole to the far field with a row of breadfruit trees behind. Through the trees I could see silver grey metal plates hanging between the wide green leaves and the yellow breadfruit. I felt the wind on my cheek and saw the plates dance. My stomach grew tight. These would not be so easy to hit. I heard David catch his breath next to me. Sipho stared at me with big eyes.
“You, come here,” said Mobuto, pointing at me with his fat finger.
I marched over with a tight stomach. My legs were weak but I pushed back my knees to keep them stiff and saluted. “Yes, sah.”
“Yesterday you were Mr. Hotshot. Let’s see if you can do it today,” he said. He sneered at me, threw me an AK and showed me where to stand. It was far from the trees and the plates and my heart beat hard.
“The gun’s loaded. Be careful,” said Mobuto with hard eyes.
I swallowed hard. The AK felt slippery in my wet hands. I wiped my hand on my shorts and then pushed the AK hard back into my shoulder. I fixed my eyes onto the plate and clenched my teeth. I must do this. I cannot miss the plates. If I missed I would be a dead boy. I must do this for Thandi. I cannot die.
I put my legs a bit apart and stood firm on the spot where Mobuto had showed me with the AK hard into my shoulder. I held my breath inside and then watched as the silver plate danced in the wind. I felt the breeze on my face and I moved with the wind and the plate. The plate was not good in the sight. I waited and tried again. My legs began to shiver. I did not know if I could do this thing. If I missed Mobuto would blow out my brains like Enoch.
“Shoot, you stupid boy,” shouted Mobuto.
My heart beat harder as I took one more big breath and then stared hard at the plate through the sight and pulled the trigger. The gun jumped and threw me back. My ears rang and my head spun. I squeezed tight my eyes. I was too scared to look. I opened a crack in my eyes and stared at the trees. A big sigh came from my belly. Ropes dangled in the breeze. The plate was gone. My body shook. I must have hit the plate. I turned to look at Mobuto who grunted and pushed David to the place by me.
“You are lucky,” he said. “Get back there.”
I saluted and obeyed. David moved to my old spot and stiffened as he stared at the next plate. He had his legs a bit apart and I saw the gun jump as the bullet thundered out. I heard a clang and the plate moved and then hung from one of the ropes. I looked at Mobuto. Would he be happy with this?
He glared at David with narrow eyes. “You are lucky you clipped it,” he said. “Next time be sure to hit it full on.”
David gave a salute with wide eyes and moved back to join me.
Richard was next. Bilole pushed him forward. He stood with his mad hair blowing in the wind. His body was like a wood pole. I saw him take in a big breath and push his lips together. He lined up the plate and the gun shouted. The plate fell down. I was happy he had hit it but a bit cross he was a good as me.
Sipho was next. His thin legs shook as he went to the spot. He pushed the AK into his shoulder but his arm was shaking. I held my breath. He pushed the trigger and the gun thundered. I stared at the trees. The plate was still there.
I heard Sipho gasp and saw his eyes turn white. Mobuto’s tooth glinted at us.
“So we have a no shot here,” he said. “What do we do with no shots, Bilole?”
“We cut their fingers off, sah.” Bilole laughed an
d he hoisted up his pants over his fat stomach.
My heart jumped. David gave a gasp and Sipho swayed on his feet. His eyes filled with tears.
“Pull him over there,” said Mobuto with an evil grin.
Bilole grabbed Sipho who started to scream. He pushed him over to a tree stump and leaned his fat body onto him. Sipho was forced onto his knees. Bilole grabbed his hand and pushed it onto the stump.
“Splay you fingers,” he shouted.
Sipho was screaming and squirming like the snake under Bilole’s grip. His body was shaking and the tears ran down his face. I stared frozen. My stomach was sick. There was nothing I could do.
Sipho made strange noises as Mobuto marched over like an evil crocodile. He took a machete from his belt and I saw Sipho’s finger jump into the air before it fell onto the hot ground. Sipho screamed and clutched at his bloody hand.
I stared with big eyes at him. He was bent over and I felt the air around me grow close. I turned away. I wished I could help my friend and my stomach was fallen to my feet because I couldn’t. I shook my head and looked down at my hands. Poor Sipho, he didn’t have fingers like me anymore. My heart cried for him but I was glad it was not my finger jumping on the ground.
“So,” said Mobuto coming back to us. “You see what we do to the boys who don’t shoot straight. Take him away, Bilole. He will just be good for carrying our packs like a donkey.”
Bilole kicked Sipho until he stood up. His face had turned white and he was swaying on his feet. Bilole grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away. My head was spinning and my mouth was full of water. I stared at the bloody machete in Mobuto’s hand. I did not like the Rambo knife anymore. I hated these men and I hated this place. Why had they taken the finger from my friend?
“You shoot now,” said Mobuto to Jabu.
Jabu went over with shaking legs. I kept my eyes to the ground. I did not want to see another finger jump off.
When I looked again the plate was gone. Jabu was lucky. His fingers were safe.
“Back to barracks,” commanded Mobuto. “You’ll train more later.”
My mind felt dead as we marched back to the hut. Maybe they would kill Sipho just like they had Enoch. I wished I was back on the dump. I wished I was small again with Umama and Thandi. Why did this have to happen to me?
Chapter 14
“Richard,” I whisper and shake him roughly.
“What?” he says, and he looks at me with blurry eyes.
“Get up and stay quiet.”
“Why?”
I shove him hard so that he falls with a bump onto the green cement floor.
“Fuck you, Hotshot,” he whispers fiercely. “What you doing?”
“We’re going to break into the surgery. I need drugs.”
Richard shakes his head at me. “You are too much!”
I clench my jaw. “Just follow me. Don’t wake Trigger. I don’t trust him anymore.” I pick up a towel from under my bed and shove it up my shirt.
Richard looks over at the snoring Trigger and frowns at me, but he obeys and we creep from the dorm into the heavy, warm night air. I look up at the dark sky. There are many stars but the moon is half hidden behind the clouds.
“It is a good night. The moon’s on our side,” I say. “Let’s go.” I move my eyebrows towards the surgery. My body tingles as we edge our way against the buildings. I feel like a soldier again and I’m glad I’ve got Richard to come. I must make him remember who he is. Trigger is acting strange. He’s trying to be the good boy now and won’t want the drugs. I will think what to do with him later.
We creep forward and I point to the back of the whitewashed hospital building.
“We are going round back,” I say.
Richard nods and follows behind me until we’re below the wide wooden window of the surgery.
“Stand back” I say and take out my towel and wrap it around my arm. “Now make a sound like an owl.”
“Why?” says Richard with a frown.
“Just do what I fucking say,” I hiss.
He glares at me but purses his lips and lets out a low whoop of the owl and I push up on my toes and pull back my arm before moving it hard at the center of the pane. I feel the glass shudder.
“Do it again,” I say to Richard.
He gives another whoop and I draw my arm back again and hit the pane harder so that this time the glass tinkles and cracks and then falls in a shower of sharp pieces around us. Richard smiles and I give him the thumbs up.
“Wait,” I whisper as he moves towards it. “We must see if they’ve heard.”
He nods and we hold our breath and listen. The night stays still and heavy with only the chirrup of the night crickets breaking through.
“This is too easy,” I say with a sneer. “Now push me up.”
Richard puts his hands like a stirrup and I stand on them and shove myself up to the shattered window. I push away the broken bits at the bottom and ease myself sideways onto the sill. A sharp pain shoots through my back as I twist and I bite my lip to stop the moan. Richard gives me a final shove and I fall forwards landing with a thump on the counter of the cupboard below. I clamber off onto the cold cement floor.
The room is quiet except for my breathing. I creep towards the door leading into the ward. All is dark and silent. I skim my eyes around the corners. Nurse Sophie’s not there. There are two white humps in the bed. I’m not sure who they are.
“Hotshot?”
“Shut up,” I whisper fiercely at the broken window. Fucking Richard, he’s so stupid. “Just wait, don’t talk.”
I walk like the cat to the medicine cabinet. Its glass doors are locked. I stare at the rows of bottles behind. I take the towel and place it around my hand again and hit hard at one of the panes of glass. It breaks easily and I push my hand through and snatch at the bottles. It doesn’t matter what I take –it will all be good. Then I feel a burning pain on my hand and my hand grows sticky with blood from the broken glass but I smile at the pain and stuff the bottles into the pockets of my shorts. I suck the blood from my hand and wrap the towel back around it. Richard crawls in the window and smashes onto the counter. I turn and frown at him.
“How did you jump up?” I asked.
“I found a rock to stand on,” he says and smiles like he’s Mr. Clever Boy.
I glare at him.
“You got some?” he asks.
I nod and point towards my bulging pockets.
Richard thumps me on the shoulder and grins but then notices my cut hand and frowns. “You hurt?”
I sneer at him and shake my head. How can this be hurt? Has he gone soft?
I empty the contents of the bottles onto the counter. Pink tablets I haven’t seen before roll around with heaps of the small white ones which I know are for the pain. I grab up a handful. “Here, have five,” I say, shoving a handful at Richard.
He stuffs the tablets into his mouth and chews. I do the same and we grin at each other with white chalky mouths. They’ll do their work soon.
Suddenly I hear footsteps. We freeze and I edge towards the surgery window and peer through the pane. Nurse Sophie’s back and moving about at the end of the ward doing something on the trolley. I turn to Richard and show him to go down. I creep to the corner and we crouch on the floor.
“We’ll wait till she goes,” I whisper.
Richard nods. The drugs are kicking in and his eyes are glazed. My mind is feeling warm and fuzzy all over and my body feels slow and weak. It reminds me of the glue. Richard and I relax on the cement floor and lean against the wall with stupid grins on our faces. I don’t care about anything anymore. If Nurse Sophie comes in I will kill her with the broken glass. I sit dreaming about cutting into her throat and seeing the red blood pump out. It’s been too long since I’ve tasted a kill. I drift away with the thought of blood so strong that I can even taste it.
When my mind returns the night has faded and faint pink rays are peeping in through the jagged window. I poke Ric
hard in his side. He squeaks like the mouse. I point up and show for him to go. He nods and clambers up onto the counter before heaving his body through the broken window. I hear his soft thud and I pull my heavy body backwards through the window landing on my feet. We wait for a minute to make sure no one will see us. The light is misty and pink and the air is fresh. It clears my head a bit.
I peer around the side of the building, “Go, now!” I say.
Richard looks at me with his glazed eyes but obeys. We creep grinning back to our dorm and into our beds.
When I wake again the copper sun is halfway across the sky. A shadow flits across the doorway and I tense. Bengu is here.
“Modetse, Richard –Dr. Zuma wants to see you in his office now.”
“Tell him to fuck off,” I say and my voice croaks.
Richard laughs. I smile at him glad to see his old self is back.
“No, you must go,” says Bengu.
“I told you. Tell him to go fuck himself,” I shout.
Bengu clenches his jaw and refuses to move. My body tenses and I feel around for something hard to hit him with. The best I can find is my shoe and I throw it with disgust to the side. My fists will do. I lunge towards him but just then Tula comes up behind him. I freeze, turn and clutch at my bed to stop myself falling over.
Bengu shakes his head at me. “Hurry, the doctor’s waiting for both of you.”
He turns and walks away and Tula hesitates before giving me a small wave.
I’m hot all over and full with anger inside. I’ll kill that bastard. Just you wait –soon I’ll kill you and cut off your head to feed to the dogs, I scream at him inside my head.
“Come on Richard,” I bark.
“They must know,” he says.
“So what! What’s he going to do? Kill us? They’re too soft to do anything. I’ve no fear of them,” I say, looking at Richard in disgust.