by Julia North
Bilole was waiting for us on the training ground, hitting his stick against his legs.
“You’re lucky. One more second and I would’ve beaten you all. Run now. Ten laps and fifty push-ups. Go! You, Sipho –go over there and pack those things in that box.”
Sipho nodded and moved to the trees on the side while we obeyed and ran with eyes hard in front around the big yellow field.
“Ropes!” shouted Bilole as we finished the last push-up.
We panted over to the long wooden frames with their dangling ropes. I felt my hands burn and sting as I pulled myself up the side and over. The muscles in my arms rippled and I felt my hard stomach give me strength. I was becoming strong and that was good. I must not lose hope. I must keep going so that one day I can get back to Thandi.
“Right, get to the teaching hut now all of you. Mobuto‘s waiting. Run!” shouted Bilole as we went over the last frame.
We saluted him and Sipho joined us as we rushed over to the big hut. Commander Mobuto was standing in front and we marched in silence past him, hands in salute and sat down cross- legged on the wooden floor. He stared with narrow eyes and marched with big steps up and down in front of us. We kept our eyes down so as not to offend. All of a sudden he shouted in a voice so loud that I jumped.
“We’re going to watch a film today. You like films, you boys. You like Rambo. Today you will see who we’re really fighting against. Start,” he commanded.
We turned to see Nkunda starting the big projector. The light flickered on the white wall and then the faces of men appeared.
“These are the government pigs who want to kill us. Look at their ugly faces like diseased swine. They are like the tsetse fly who wants to come silently in the night and kill us. We’re training you to stop them. You must not let us down. Do you hear?”
A big picture of the fly with evil eyes came on the screen. Then there were thousands of them and we saw the flies biting the children and then the children dying.
“This is you,” he shouted. “The enemy will kill you if you don’t kill him first. Are you ready to do the training hard to kill? Are you?”
“Yes, sah!” we shouted back.
I stared at these evil flies on the screen. My heart filled with hate as Mobuto screamed,
“You see. This is why we train you hard. You need to kill these flies. If you don’t you are dead. You have not met the enemy yet. You have not seen their evil. Now you see them. Look! Look! They are killing you and your family. Are you ready to attack them?”
My body grew hard while Mobuto spoke. I stared at the flies with hate eyes and shouted, “Yes, sah, we are ready” with the others.
“Every day they are killing the people and destroying our country,” shouted Mobuto. “They take all the money and make big houses for themselves. They eat like fat cats. If we don’t stop them we’ll be dead. Do you want to be dead soldier boys? Hey, do you want to be dead?”
“No, sah,” we shouted.
“Good –you must learn to kill first. You’re good killers. You have no fear. You’re young and have long lives still. Will you kill well for the L.R.A.?”
“Yes, sah, we will kill well for the L.R.A.,” we chanted.
“Good,” said Mobuto. “You are lucky boys –now we’ll do the L.R.A. ceremony on you and then everyone will know you are big soldier boys who belong to us. March to the field. Move!”
My mind buzzed with the pictures of the enemy and I could feel the hate growing in my heart as we marched behind each other to the field and lined up for Mobuto. Mobuto was clever. He knew these people. These people were bad. They were the enemy. If these people found Thandi they would kill her. They would rape her. The veins on my neck grew tense. I clenched my fist. My mind was black and full of blood. Mobuto was right. If they touched Thandi I would kill them. He was clever. I must listen to him.
“Take off your shirts, all of you!” shouted Mobuto as we reached the field.
We obeyed and ripped off our shirts and held them folded in front of us.
“Put them on the ground and stand to attention. Now!”
We placed the folded shirts on the ground and shuffled into a line, heads back and arms stiff by our sides. Bilole walked over like a bull elephant carrying something wrapped in a linen cloth. He slowly took off the cloth to show a big piece of jagged glass like a dagger. My breath froze in my throat.
“Ready, sah,” he said to Mobuto.
Mobuto grabbed Richard and pulled him to the front. Richard’s eyes were white and staring and his thin body shook all over. He looked even more scared than when he saw the spider.
“Cut,” said Mobuto as he clutched Richard’s arm and held it out straight for Bilole. He came behind and made deep cuts into the arm like he was writing something. Richard threw back his head and screamed, but could not run; Mobuto held him too tight and laughed at his pain. I watched with narrow eyes as the dark red blood bubbled up behind the glass and my stomach dropped to my feet.
“Done,” said Bilole, holding down the glass dagger, which dripped with the bright red blood.
“Good work,” said Mobuto, looking at Richard’s arm. He pushed him away to the side and called, “Next.”
Bilole pulled David forward. Mobuto did the same, holding out David’s arm for Bilole who smiled while he cut. David clenched his jaw and screwed his eyes shut as the glass went deep into his arm. He made a small cry and Bilole laughed and then pushed him away.
Mobuto grabbed me. I held my muscles strong and my jaw stiff. I must not look weak. Why were they cutting us? I wanted to be back on the dump. “No…” I screamed as the sharp glass cut deep into my arm. The pain was so fierce that my body went numb. My head buzzed and the yellow grass blurred in front of my eyes. I wobbled and felt Bilole push me over to Richard and David. I clutched my arm to stop the thick red blood shooting up. It ran out between my fingers. I looked at David and Richard. There was pain still in their eyes and I knew their arms were hurting like mine. I forgot the others until Jabu joined us, and then Sipho, both of them crying and shaking.
“Stop your sniveling,” shouted Mobuto. “This is a badge of honor. You’re lucky soldier boys. This will heal in a nice big scar and everyone will know that you belong to the L.R.A. Now, go wash yourselves and get back to barracks.”
We tried to stop our tears and saluted him and then picked up our folded shirts and went to the shower hut. I shivered as the cold water washed over me and I let my tears come, glad that the water could hide them. I heard a snuffle next to me and saw tears running from Richard’s eyes. He saw me looking and knew that I too was crying. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back.
When I lay in bed that night many thoughts fought in my mind. The writing would show everyone I was L.R.A., and if I escaped some people would try to kill me. But then I remem- bered the tsetse fly enemy. No, maybe it was better to be L.R.A. The tsetse fly enemy would kill Thandi if we didn’t stop them. Mobuto had said so. I must listen to him. He is old and wise. He knows this enemy. He has fought him for many years. His eyes have seen what they can do. My mind jumped back and forward between these thoughts until I thought my head would explode like the grenade. I had seen the enemy on the movie. The movie did not lie. Mobuto did not lie. He was right. I must be proud to be L.R.A. that way I will stay tough and be able to protect Thandi. My spirit felt strong as I moved my fingers round the letters in my flesh.
After breakfast Mobuto told us to go to the parade ground and we had to run quickly from the hut.
“Today the General will come and see you,” he said as we arrived panting. “You’re lucky if you’re looking smart. Any soldier boy who is not will be beaten before the General sees him.”
I looked over my uniform and let out a big sigh of relief. It was very smart. I looked over at Richard. He was trying to smooth down his shirt to hide the creases. Fool, he didn’t know how to be neat like me. I was glad Umama had taught me well. I smiled inside as Mobuto went over to Richard and hit him hard on the head.
&nbs
p; “Go see Bilole and sort that out now,” he shouted, kicking Richard on his thin legs and hitting him in his ribs with a big wooden stick.
Richard doubled over and cried out but ran out fast to Bilole. Jabu looked after him and then looked down at his own uniform. It did not have creases but was still not so good as mine. I saw him look sideways at mine and stood straighter with my head high.
“Right, the rest of you, forward march!” shouted Mobuto.
We obeyed and marched in a straight line behind him to the parade ground.
“Nkunda’s squadron’s here,” whispered David.
I saw Badboy with his braids of red and green beads in his hair standing stiff and smart in his uniform and hoped I would not have to be near him. I stared at him as we got close. His face and eyes were hard like the AK, which he held tight, and I could see he would feel nothing to kill us. He was taller than us and must be fourteen years. He felt my stare and turned with those eyes to glare at me. My stomach dropped. I looked down quick. I saw him sneer at me and narrow his eyes.
Two other old child soldiers from Nkunda were also with us. There was a very tall one I heard Nkunda call Bloodneverdry. He must be a quick killer. I drew back a little. They were tough these boys of Nkunda. I was glad I wasn’t in their squadron. Jabu and Richard could be mean but they were not hard like these ones. I looked at a shorter one with dark skin, a square head and a fat nose. He had a scar down his cheek; maybe it had come from the battle. I heard Nkunda call him Trigger. I hoped that did not mean he could fire the AK quicker than me. There was also one called Shithead, who was short but strong, with big muscles in his arms and legs. He had the very big head and looked like he was fifteen years maybe. His skin was dark like Jabu‘s but he had many small holes on his face like pellets had been shot into him. I saw he had a sharp dagger on his belt and two Lieutenant bars on the beret on his head. He stood stiff and proud like a young lion.
“Line up here!” commanded Bilole showing us the area behind.
I smiled inside at this luck and took big steps into the second row, glad that I was away from Badboy and his cold eyes.
“Now, stand to attention all of you,” shouted Mobuto. “The great General will be here soon.”
We stood straight and silent as the hot morning sun burned into our heads and caused our armpits to grow wet. It felt like hours before I saw the General coming with his giraffe walk and mirror eyes. His uniform was still like new but now he wore the big hat on his head, which shaded his face with its sides, instead of his beret. He took big steps towards a wooden platform with a big standing umbrella over which Bilole had laid out for him. The soldiers around the platform saluted smartly and shuffled backwards. The General climbed the platform and looked at us behind his glasses. I shivered inside and wished again that I could see his eyes.
“Soldiers, this is your General. Salute!” commanded Mobuto, standing to attention himself and saluting.
We stood upright and saluted him while the drummers started up and the drums began to shout to the sky about his greatness. The “Boom, Boom, Boom” vibrated through the ground and caused my insides to shake.
“The General is our leader,” shouted Mobuto. “He’s our father, the protector and the one who makes the L.R.A. great. Without the General we are nothing. Today you will swear your life to him. If you ever turn traitor the spirits will come from the darkness and eat out your brains. You will never escape. Never! Are you clear?”
“Yes, sah,” we said and saluted.
“Now, say after me:
Oh Great General of the L.R.A.
We swear to be good soldiers,
We swear to obey all orders and never betray the L.R.A.
May the spirits take us and eat out our brains if we ever break our oath.
You are our father, our protector.
We swear our lives to you.”
We chanted each line loud after Mobuto and the drums joined with us, shouting their promise to the great man. The General stood tall as our voices bounced onto the mirrors of his eyes. My heart beat hard as the words came out of my mouth. The General whispered something to Mobuto, got off the platform and went away without looking back.
“Bilole, Nkunda –get the bottles,” commanded Mobuto.
Bilole and Nkunda saluted and went over to the trees. They came back carrying two cool boxes and unpacked lots of small bottles.
“You will now seal your allegiance by drinking the blood of our enemy,” shouted Mobuto. “This blood will help the spirits to build the dark power in your hearts and make you better killers for the L.R.A. Now drink!”
Bilole handed out the small bottles with the dark red blood inside. My body shook inside. I did not want to look at it as I lifted it to my mouth. I held my stomach, which wanted to jump out from the iron smell. The blood was rich and bitter on my tongue and slid thickly in strings down my throat. I had to force myself to swallow it and I pretended that it was lovely meat stew instead. At last it was done and I breathed a big sigh as my stomach calmed. I heard David retch next to me and showed him with cross-eyes to control it. They would kill us if we vomited the enemy blood. All over the boy soldiers were sighing and trying not to throw up.
“Take them back,” said Mobuto.
“We can never leave now,” whispered David as we marched slowly back.
I nodded He’d said my worried thoughts. I was scared of the dark spirits. I had drunk them down. My body tingled and I felt sick. How would I get Thandi now? I could never leave the L.R.A. and escape the spirits. They would find me wherever I was and eat out my brains. I could only find her if they let me, and what if they would not let me do that? I had wanted to be L.R.A. because of the tsetse fly enemy on the film and because I thought it was the only way to save Thandi, but now I did not know anymore what to think. There was bad fear inside me. The enemy blood was in my stomach. The dark spirits had come into my mind. My heavy soul dropped to my toes and my eyes glazed over. The hot tears pricked behind them but I was too dead for them to spill over. I could not even run from myself now. The evil was inside me.
Chapter 17
I stared at the RPG and my body rippled. This was even better than the AK. It was long, polished and full of power. I wanted to learn more about these weapons. Already we had learned how to throw the grenades. Every day we were shooting our AKs at the targets and every day I was the best. When I got into bed at night I dreamed about the AK bullets and being the number one L.R.A fighter. I had the spirits in me now. I was strong like Rambo. Everybody was jealous because I was number one shot.
“The projectile goes here,” said Commander Mobuto. “Don’t stand behind or it will blow off your head like the angry buffalo. You must hold it like this.”
He showed us to hold it on our shoulder. “You, Jabu, come.”
Jabu walked over with big steps and a high head to Mobuto and took the RPG and placed it on his shoulder like Mobuto had shown. He looked strong and stood like Mr. Lion.
“Fire!” shouted Mobuto as he moved back.
Jabu pulled the trigger and a grenade hissed forward so fast it blurred and then exploded with thunder and fire as it hit the trees. Jabu was knocked back but he righted himself and did not fall. I frowned at him when he looked back at me with glinting eyes. Mobuto grunted and took the RPG away.
“David, you –aim for that old tank there.”
I hoped David would shoot better than Jabu. Jabu mustn’t think he’s number one shot like me. David went over with a serious look and slow steps. He picked up the RPG. He held it well and pulled the trigger. The grenade hissed forward and knocked him back but he was okay and the tank exploded in a shower of twisted metal. I smiled. He was just as good as Jabu. I lifted my eyebrows at David as he walked back and he lifted his back.
Mobuto grunted and called, “Hotshot, come.”
I marched over with a big smile at my new name and tried to grab the RPG but instead Mobuto commanded, “Throw this grenade over at the trees and make it far or I’l
l beat you.”
I stopped and stared but saluted and took the grenade. I pulled a face and swore inside at Mobuto. Why could I not shoot the RPG? Why did I have to throw the fucking grenade only? I saw Jabu and Richard with a sneer on their faces because it was the Pineapple girls who throw the grenades mostly, because they’re small and can run close to the targets.
“Pull the pin and throw it. Now!” screamed Mobuto.
I pulled the ring and made a wide arc with my arm, flicking my wrist to throw the grenade with all my power towards the far breadfruit trees. My aim was good and the bright flash parted the wide leaves and exploded the yellow fruit into the air.
“Okay, now try the RPG,” said Mobuto.
I picked up the long tube and held it carefully. I wanted to make sure I could do it better than Jabu. I pushed it hard into my shoulder and put my legs apart before pushing the trigger in. The weapon jumped back into me and hissed out the grenade which landed by the trees with a flash and roar of fire. I stepped backwards but stayed strong.
“Not bad,” said Mobuto. “Right, Richard.”
Richard did okay but not as good as me. I glared at Jabu but he pretended not to see me.
“Now I want you all to take apart your AKs, Go!” shouted Mobuto as soon as Richard had put the RPG back down.
I grabbed my gun, which was well oiled and clean, and took it apart and lay it down for Mobuto to see. I glanced to the side. Jabu had beaten me. I scowled.
“Jabu name all the parts,” said Mobuto.
Jabu rattled off all the parts of the AK and Mobuto smiled.
“Good. You remember the details well.”
Jabu puffed up his chest and I glared at him.
“Put it back together. Now! Bilole, hit anyone who’s late.”
My hands blurred and soon my AK was back together smiling at me. Mobuto nodded at me and my heart felt proud. I saluted him and looked sideways at Jabu.
“The RPG‘s was good,” I said as we packed our weapons away after training.
“We’re lucky we shot well,” said David.