A Soldier's Journey

by Patricia Potter

  “I’m not an actor. I’m a backstage guy,” he replied as he nuzzled her ear.

  He was anything but. She’d watched him take charge of meetings and projects and now she’d just seen his talent at building and design. He led without anyone realizing it. It was a rare talent: to make everyone feel that what they were doing was their own idea.

  He had done that with her.

  His arms slipped around her, and her good fingers moved to the back of his neck. She stood on tiptoe and lifted her head so she could touch his lips with hers.

  He kissed her again, long and tenderly, so tenderly she thought she couldn’t bear it.

  Then he backed away. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone,” he said slowly. “But I didn’t... I...didn’t expect... Dammit, I’ve messed this up.”

  She had never seen him uncertain before. It endeared him even more to her. “Why?”

  “I didn’t bring any...”

  He stopped, and she understood.

  She remembered what he had said about his wife. About the baby that never was, the one that forced him into a marriage he didn’t want.

  She started to pull back. He held on to her. “It’s not for me,” he said. “It’s you. I care too much to hurt you. I don’t know how this happened, but I think I fell in love with you the moment you stepped out of your Bucket. It scared the hell out of me. It still does.” He paused. “I want this to be right for you.”

  She touched his face. Ran her fingers over its angles, then through the thick chestnut hair. She wanted him. He made her feel safe and warm and wanted. And alive. She needed that.

  She didn’t want him to be right, but he was. It was too early to take chances. She couldn’t trust her emotions now. She had been in a pain-filled world for months. She still heard Jared’s voice, saw his face. Saw all the faces of those who were there that day, and then weren’t.

  She leaned her head against his heart. “He saved my life,” she said. “He moved in front of me. He took the bullet meant for me. He died. I lived.” She swallowed hard. “How could I forget...”

  “You didn’t forget. You will never forget,” Nate said.

  She wished she could feel that way. But she couldn’t. Not yet. It still felt like betrayal.

  Home. “I have to go,” she said. “Joseph...”

  She heard his cell phone chime.

  He pulled it out his phone, looked at the caller, then answered. “Nate.” He listened, then replied, “Okay, I’ll head over there.” He clicked off the phone as she looked at him.

  “Something wrong?”

  “Nothing I can’t take care of. A truck carrying lumber for a construction job was hit by another vehicle. The boards are all over the road, and the truck is disabled. I have to round up a truck and a crew to get the boards before they are taken by the county as a road hazard.”

  He paused, then added, “We start the job this week, and we need the lumber at the project.”

  “Where’s Josh?”

  “He’s on his way to talk to the police out there and figure out who was at fault. The last thing we need is a lawsuit.”

  She wanted to help, but she wouldn’t be much use in carrying boards.

  “I can walk home,” she said.

  “Hell, no,” he said. “I can call some guys while I drive you home. It’s only five minutes.”

  She didn’t question him more. She knew she would only delay him if she argued. She grabbed her small purse from the bed where it had fallen and headed for the door. “Ready?”

  He chuckled. “Now I know why I like you so damn much.” He followed her to his car even as he was calling around.

  He ended the call as they reached the car. “Craig is getting some of the vets together.” He sighed. “I hope none of the lumber was damaged.”

  He made another quick call, apparently to Josh, and she heard him explain he had a crew on the way. “I’ll meet you there,” he added. “It’ll be about twenty minutes.”

  He replaced the phone in his pocket and opened the door on the passenger side.

  Nate was all business now as he drove out of the parking lot. In minutes they were back at the cabin. “Don’t get out,” she said. “I can get into the cabin. I see Joseph at the window.”

  He just nodded. “I’m sorry. This is not how I wanted to end the evening.”

  “I had a lovely dinner and a great evening,” she replied as reached over and gave him a quick kiss, then was out the door. She walked rapidly to the porch and opened the door, then watched him drive down to Lake Road.

  She unlocked the door to the cabin and Joseph was ecstatic. He made little grunting noises of welcome, rubbed against her legs, then reached up and licked her hand.

  She sat down on the floor, folding her legs beneath her, and hugged him. “I missed you, too,” she said, ruffling his thick fur. “What did I almost do tonight?” she asked as much to herself as to him.

  She closed her eyes. Remembering the sweetness of the kiss. The unexpected reaction of her body.

  Images of Jared darted into her head. The last time they were together. Two nights before the attack.

  She looked down at her hands. They were trembling.

  She stood. Wobbly. But standing. She walked to the back door to let Joseph out, but he wouldn’t go. He just stayed at her side. She took the step down. Joseph regarded her with a worried look, then did what he was supposed to do before going to bed.

  The air was cool but fresh. She took a deep breath.

  Why now?

  Andy felt weak, hardly able to walk back into the bedroom. She stopped at her bed, took off her clothes and lay down. She looked at the medicine on the table beside her. It had helped in the hospital.

  But she wasn’t in the hospital. She was getting on with her life.

  She sat on the bed, then stretched out. Joseph crawled up beside her and put his head on her chest. He stared at her with those wide, kind, unblinking eyes.

  Think of tomorrow.

  Maybe she could do that now.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  ANDY SPENT A restless night. As much as she tried to think ahead, the onslaught of the all-too-painful memories last night lingered. She’d feared having another recurring nightmare...

  She worried about what had brought them about. The kiss? Her growing attachment to Nate? Guilt?

  At first light, she gave up on sleep and brewed a pot of coffee. She filled a thermos, opened the door for Joseph and started up the path to the lookout on the mountain. She didn’t bother with a leash. Joseph wasn’t going to leave her side and she doubted she would see anyone this early.

  Once there, she sat on the rock overlooking the town and watched as the sun filtered through scattered clouds and painted streaks of gold across the lake. She continued to watch as cars started to move through the streets.

  Andy tried to pinpoint Nate’s house from here, but she wasn’t sure she found the right one. She looked for color; Nate had made light of the many roses in his yard, claimed that taking care of them was part of his rent, but she knew roses. Her mother grew them. They took time and tender loving care.

  Another side of Nate. She was always finding new ones. He was far more complex than he’d appeared the first day they’d met.

  She took a deep swallow of coffee. It was strong, the way they drank it in the army. She rested against the rock, listened to the birds trilling their morning song and put her hand on Joseph’s thick fur. He looked up and gave her a big dog smile.

  The leftover tension from last night’s flashback gradually faded away as the sun burned off the early-morning dew and a fresh breeze stirred the tall pines. Darn if she wasn’t falling in love with this place. And that wasn’t a good thing.

  Andy took a deep breath. She had to sta
rt thinking about the future, something she’d refused to do before coming to Covenant Falls. She hadn’t wanted to think about a life without Jared, the army or nursing. But her stay here was temporary. The fact that she liked it more each day didn’t change that.

  She still had to get a paying job, visit her mother and sister and plot a new course. Covenant Falls was a temporary refuge, nothing more.

  Joseph whined next to her. At least he was hers. She didn’t know how she could have survived without him.

  Activity increased in the town below her.

  Toy cars were moving among toy houses. So untouched by violence. So different from the violence thousands of miles away. She tried to push the memories away, but they kept returning. Why Jared? April? Britt? They had been all about saving lives. It hadn’t mattered whose.

  Joseph uttered a low rumbling noise.

  “No good answer, huh,” she said. “Then, tell me this—what should I do about Nate?”

  Joseph wagged his tail. It wasn’t very helpful.

  Every time she thought about last night, her body ached for something that went beyond a kiss. She’d felt alive last night, really alive, for the first time in months, and that felt like a betrayal to those who died.

  And then there was his own past.

  She knew from the way Nate touched her that he cared. But she couldn’t help remembering the flatness with which he mentioned his ex-wife, the betrayal he’d felt. She wasn’t sure she could love so strongly again, and to do less would be a disservice to him.

  The brochure, Andy reminded herself. She had to get started on the town brochure. The event had taken over everything. She reluctantly stood and Joseph rose with her.

  Back at the cabin, she made breakfast—toast and eggs and coffee—then she jotted down some notes for the brochure, picking out various phrases from the journal entries.

  Her mind was not being cooperative. It kept skipping from the copy to her future to Nate.

  He sneaked in her mind like a thief, stealing all the common sense and reservations she had. Her heart warmed every time she thought of him, and yet there was caution, as well. She kept telling herself everything was too fast, yet she knew she wanted to see him. She wanted to finish what they had started. Then suddenly the scene in Afghanistan would flash through her head, and pain ripped through her again.

  She was, quite simply, at war with herself.

  She looked back at the first sheaf of papers that Sara had combined of the most important journal entries. Tomorrow I leave my beloved Scotland. She skipped ahead until she reached the entry with Angus’s first impression of the place he would call eventually call Covenant Falls. She started writing.

  “The loch is as deep and blue as the evening sky, as pure as those in my highlands. It lies at the foot of mountains that overlook the dry country through which we passed and is obviously fed by the snow that caps their tops. It is a beautiful, serene place, and I plan to stay and establish my trading post here.”

  Those were the words of Angus Monroe, who established one of the first trading posts in central Colorado. It went by the name Monroe until he saved the life of a Ute subchief during a time of friction between the American Indian tribes, the military and settlers. In appreciation, the Utes made a covenant with Angus. They would protect Angus and everyone at the post. Angus was given the chief’s sister as his wife.

  Angus then named the post and the town he’d envisioned Covenant Falls.

  Angus started a freight business, an extension of bringing in his own supplies. He bought camels from a circus, which had bought them from the US Army, to take supplies into mining camps. The camels made their way into the lore of Covenant Falls.

  The Civil War tore the territory apart, and six of the men left to fight for the Union while one headed south to Texas. It was the beginning of a long tradition of service by the residents of Covenant Falls. Five of the seven did not come back.

  Today, the town of Covenant Falls has grown from a one-man trading post to a town that boasts of warm hospitality, a spectacular waterfall and lake, a national forest and a living history...

  She stood up and stretched. A start. It didn’t sing, but she had something to work with. She looked at her watch. A little after 2:00 p.m. Where had the day gone?

  The cell phone rang. Her heart raced as she saw Nate’s name pop up. “Hi,” she said. “Did you spring the lumber from police custody?”

  “We did, thanks to Craig Stokes,” he replied.

  “I remember him,” she said. “He helped me after your fall. He and his son.”

  “Well, I did well today, too. I went up the mountain path this morning, then worked on the brochure. It’s not great, but I’m getting there.”

  “You might want to get together with Susan on the design,” he said. “She has some photos, but you might want a few additional ones.”

  His voice was friendly. Businesslike. As if last night hadn’t happened. As if flames hadn’t flared between them.

  “I’ll do that tomorrow. I’m going over to Sara’s tonight. The script committee is meeting again.”

  There was a silence, and she wondered whether he had been about to ask her out tonight.

  “What time?”

  “Seven.”

  Another silence. So that had been the plan. Regret flowed through her. Regret and maybe a little relief.

  She wanted to see him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to explore those feelings that aroused her. But she also knew it probably would mean making love. Do I really want to go there? “When do you start the addition?” she asked, trying to break the silence.

  “Tomorrow morning at seven. We want to get it done so we can help with the pageant or whatever we’re doing.” He paused then added, “I’m beginning to wonder whether this was such a good idea after all.”

  “What particular thing?” she asked. “The play? Or...” She couldn’t quite get the last word out.

  He didn’t answer that question. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.

  “Sounds good,” she lied.

  She put the phone down and stared at Joseph. She’d wanted more. The conversation had felt strained, but then why wouldn’t it be? Neither of them was in a position to...have a relationship.

  With a sigh, she turned back to the brochure.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  LOUISA HAD SUPPLIED all the committee chairs with the proposal for the script. A narrator would read selections from the journal. Each selection would introduce a scene. It was agreed that the story should begin in Scotland, when Angus discovered his brother had left for America, and end with a celebration when Colorado became a state, a total of twenty-eight years.

  She presented the group with the pages from Angus’s journal concerning his wedding to Chiweta, the chief’s sister, which would end the first half of the pageant. The second half would be about the Civil War and the fight for statehood.

  Clint had agreed to work with Louisa on music for the production. Preliminary ideas included a hoedown with the wagon train segment. Perhaps a Scottish hymn at the death of the brother. A traditional Ute dance at one point was suggested by Louisa.

  The meeting lasted nearly three hours, but they had a timeline, possible scenes and backgrounds. Craig would build the stage and work with kids from Louisa’s drama class on props. Sets would include the shop in Scotland, the wagon train and the trading post and town.

  Goal one belonged to the script committee—to write scenes that could be used to audition actors for the speaking parts.

  When Andy arrived back at the cabin, her head was spinning. Three weeks ago, she had empty days and an empty life. Now she had had a schedule so full she had no idea how to get it all done.

  It was a blessing. She had no time for memories. She fell asleep immediately Sunday night
and slept until dawn. No nightmares.

  When she appeared at the community center the next morning, Bill had already made a place for her. His place, really. He had surrendered his desk, provided her with one of the computers from the library and scrounged a file cabinet from somewhere.

  “What about you?” she asked. “Where will you sit?”

  “I don’t need to be here,” he said. “I basically open and close the place. I’m going to spend much of my time up in the museum. We really need to get that in order before we have those travel writers here, and I think you’re going to be a little too busy to do it.”

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to be the first person everyone saw when they came into community center, but he had gone to so much trouble she didn’t have the heart to refuse. There was even a water dish for Joseph.

  To her bemusement, volunteers appeared almost as soon as the center opened at 9:00 a.m. Word, apparently, had quickly spread that volunteers were needed. It seemed every resident in town wanted to participate, even though they knew few details about the project. They had all been sent to her.

  As each volunteer appeared, she tried to discover their interests and talents and promised to turn their names over to the appropriate person.

  With so many residents offering their help, Andy found herself liking Covenant Falls even more than she had. There was a spirit here that her town in West Virginia had lost. She spent more and more hours at either Sara’s or the community center while Nate was busy sunrise to sunset at his construction site or the inn. Four days disappeared in in a flash.

  And then they had five weeks until the pageant. After that, she should leave. She was healing. She had more confidence. The cabin should go to someone else.

  She had to visit her mother. She had to find a future on her own.

  That took her thoughts to Nate. She had not seen him since Tuesday night, although he had called each day. The conversation yesterday had been short and awkward. She knew he would be busy today, that there had been problems with the job, and that the construction business part of the partnership was paying some of the bills for the inn.