Rules of the Game

by Sandy James

  “I write because of you, silly. When that drunk hit you, I didn’t want to talk about it, so I started writing. You remember, right?” I glanced over my shoulder, but Jack wasn’t there. “Jack? Where’d you go?”

  His ethereal voice echoed through my whole being. “I’m dead, Maddie. Remember?”

  Then I was in a room so big it could have been a gym, but there weren’t any baskets or bleachers. All I could see was his gray coffin up on a pedestal, surrounded by sprays of carnations and chrysanthemums that looked gaudy. The smell of the flowers overwhelmed me until I couldn’t breathe.

  I woke up trembling.

  Chapter Seven

  Driving long distance for the first time, I found my mind wandering. Scott had quickly fallen asleep, and the radio only seemed to play crappy music, so I got lost in my thoughts. Ever since the haunting dream, I’d had my brother on the brain. As the interstate lines passing by in a blur hypnotized me, I drifted back to the summer before he died…

  The ancient tree house wobbled as Jack crawled inside. He and Daddy had built it years ago, and it was far too small for my lanky brother. At that moment, I didn’t care if it fell to the ground, except that I would lose one of my places to run away and hide from the world.

  He plopped down to face me. “What’s up, shortcake? Mom said you were hiding up here again. Bad day?”

  I shrugged when what I wanted to do was scream. The angry words tumbled out no matter how hard I tried to keep them in. “I’m never going to school again. Ever. I hate it there.”

  “The playground?” Jack always seemed to know what was on my mind.

  I nodded.

  “Mean ole Anna Clegg again?”

  “I wasn’t even telling her my story. I was telling my friend, Kimberly. But Anna had to stick her big fat nose in my business. Again. Why can’t she leave me alone?”

  “Your stories are great, Maddie. I always listen to you tell them, don’t I? So does Kimberly.”

  “Terri hates them.”

  “Terri’s twelve—she hates everything. Want me to go smack some sense into Anna? A couple of black eyes, maybe?” He winked.

  “Nah. It’s just…she called me crazy and synchophonic and said people who heard voices in their heads were stupid.”

  He chuckled. “It’s schizophrenic, shortcake. And you’re not crazy or stupid. The voices in your head tell you stories, they don’t tell you to do bad things. That would make you schizophrenic.” His eyes widened in mock horror. “They don’t, do they? You’re not going to come at the family with a butcher knife, are you? I need to warn Mom and Dad if you are.”

  I tried to smile at his teasing. “I like my stories.”

  “So do I. So do your teachers.” Grabbing my hand, he tugged me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “You can do something no one else can, and that makes you special. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

  His hug made me believe him.

  “Know what?” Jack asked.

  “No, what?”

  “Have you ever thought about writing down some of your stories? Who knows, maybe you’re supposed to be a writer one day.”

  * * *

  I kept driving even though things hadn’t seemed right for about an hour. I simply couldn’t figure out exactly what was bothering me because the scenery was beautiful. Trees awash in autumn colors. Sky bluer than I’d ever seen. Tufts of clouds rolling gently by. But it was also a bit hilly for what should have been Ohio. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the Welcome to Virginia sign.

  Damn it. Damn it!

  “Damn it! Scott…get up.” I reached over and jostled his shoulder. “Scott.”

  He grumbled something uncharacteristically rude, swatted my hand and started his soft snoring again.

  I shook him harder. “Scott! I really need you to wake up. Please.”

  Good as his word, he’d slept from the moment we were out of the city. I tried not to think of how hard he’d had to work the past few days and nights to be able to go to the reunion with me. I felt so guilty, I never woke him to double check whether I’d made the right changes when new interstates popped up, figuring I had adequate intelligence to get us to Indiana.

  I’d figured wrong.

  I glanced at my watch and realized our plans would have to change. We’d hoped to reach the hotel in time to throw on different clothes for the meet and greet. Now I wasn’t even sure we’d get to the damned thing at all. I gave Scott another hard nudge. “Scott, baby. Please wake up.”

  Blinking his eyes, he glanced over at me and tossed me a sleepy smile. “Did you just call me baby?”

  I shrugged.

  “Are we in Indiana?” His voice was a little husky, and despite my predicament, all I could think of was how sexy he sounded. And how good he looked with his mussed hair. And how pissed off he was going to be in a few minutes.

  “Um…no. Not Indiana.”

  “Still in Ohio? Not making very good time. Were there a bunch of speed traps?” Scott took a look around, and it sure didn’t take long for a frown to form. “What was the last city we went through?”

  I couldn’t remember but was too embarrassed to say so. My reply was another shrug.

  “Maddie, where are we?”

  “I honestly don’t know. Somewhere in Virginia, I think.”

  “Virginia? Seriously?”

  “Seriously.” My face felt hotter than a sunburn. I wanted to slink off someplace and stew in my humiliation. “I told you, I’ve never driven very far before.”

  His face held that guy scowl that said a woman was a frustrating creature who couldn’t find her way out of a room with a door on every wall. “Get off at the next exit. We’ll figure this out.”

  Thankfully, the next exit popped up in a few miles. Scott groaned when he read the sign. “Winchester. Shit, Maddie. We’re hours off course. What is it with you women drivers?”

  I sniffed back tears, unwilling to show him how much his words hurt my already wounded pride. I had the worst sense of direction. Always had. I should have woken him up when I got confused, but he’d been sleeping soundly and I felt responsible for him being exhausted. I figured I’d get back on track before too long. I mean, how far was Virginia from Indiana anyway?

  Oh, who was I kidding? I was an idiot who’d gotten us good and lost.

  I pulled over at a gas station and turned off the engine. I leaned forward and banged my head against the steering wheel in frustration. “We’ll never make the party now, and it’s all my fault.” I hit my head against the wheel again. “I’m so stupid.”

  “You should have asked me if you didn’t know where to go.”

  “I didn’t know I was getting lost until I already was.”

  He heaved a resigned sigh and rubbed my back. “What’s done is done. Just don’t know how you can be heading to Indiana and end up in Virginia. Worst sense of direction I’ve ever heard of.”

  “I said I was sorry.”

  “We’ll be fashionably late.” Scott kept stroking me, making me feel a little better now that he’d stopped scolding me. “Probably won’t be able to change out of my clothes and biker-up for you, but at least you’ll still get to see a few friends.”

  I leaned back and looked down at my ratty jeans and pink hoodie that proudly declared I Heart New York. “I look like I just came from Taco Bell.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  “Thanks a heap.”

  “Look, we’ll dazzle them tomorrow. Tonight, we’ll just be our sloppy selves.”

  Why in the hell wasn’t he screaming at me? I loved Daddy to death, but had Mom done something like drive hundreds of miles in the wrong direction, everyone in the car would have suffered from burst eardrums. Oh yes, he could scream that loud. “You’re not mad?”

  “Like I said—what’s done is done. I got some sleep. We drifted off course. We’ll just get back on it.”

  I handed him the keys. “I’m really sorry.”

  Was it really possible that someone
with a Y chromosome could remain calm? “I know.” He climbed out of the Mustang and stretched. “Going for soda. Want some?”

  What I wanted was a big fattening bag of Cheetos and an enormous Coca-Cola. “Just a Diet Coke please.” I whispered, “And Cheetos,” but didn’t figure he’d heard me.

  Scott vanished into the convenience store. Since I had nothing better to do, I gassed up his car. By the time I’d topped off the tank, he came strolling out of the store with two gigantic sodas, a handful of beef jerky and a bag of Cheetos.

  If I wasn’t already falling for the guy, the Cheetos would have sealed the deal. “Will you marry me?”

  “Ask me again when you mean it.”

  After settling back in the car, Scott pored over a map he’d pulled out of the glove compartment. He frowned but didn’t scold me anymore. “I think I know where you went wrong.” Shifting the map from his lap to mine, he pointed at what looked like a convergence of several interstates.

  “Know how to get us back on track?” I ripped open the bag of Cheetos and shoved one in my mouth, not even caring that by the time I polished off the bag, my fingers were going to be orange for the rest of the night.

  “Piece of cake.”

  * * *

  By the time we arrived, the reception hall was packed. Not surprising considering how small-town folk loved things like class reunions. Also not surprising they were holding it at the Moose Lodge. Almost every wedding reception, class reunion and anniversary party in Pottsville was at the Moose Lodge or the Knights of Columbus Hall.

  This reunion wasn’t only for my graduating class but Terri’s as well, so the place was full. I let my eyes wander the crowd, hoping I’d find a friendly face and also hoping to avoid a few others. Former cheerleaders were at the top of my stay-out-of-my-face list. The staff of the gossip rag of a school newspaper came in a close second.

  I found my sister before she found me. Terri was all the way across the room, so I grabbed Scott’s hand. “Follow me.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Do I turn on the macho yet?”

  Like he could ever turn it off. “Yeah. Go ahead. Let that testosterone fly.”

  His grin tickled my insides, and I almost told him to put a lid back on the sex appeal. Other women were already noticing him, throwing him flirty glances, licking their overglossed lips in anticipation. Yes, that was what I wanted. But I suddenly realized how good some of my former classmates still looked, and I feared Scott might start making comparisons.

  As if reading my mind, he gave my hand a squeeze. “Right behind you, angel. I’m always right behind you.”

  I almost kissed him.

  “Terri!” I called when we got closer.

  My sister whirled, took a long look at me and frowned. Not the reaction I wanted.

  “Geesh, sis,” I grumbled. “Glad to see you too.”

  She recovered quickly and flashed me a smile. Then she let her eyes rest on Scott’s face for quite some time before turning back to me. “You know I’m glad to see you, Maddie. I just expected you to dress up a little.” Her gaze swept my clothes. “Are you trying to make a statement?”

  “Only if that statement is that I know nothing about fashion or style. We got a little…lost. Didn’t even have time to check in at the motel and change clothes. This reunion’s now a come-as-you-are.”

  Terri laughed and glanced back at Scott with an incredulous frown. “You really let her drive? My sister can’t find her way out of a room with a door on every wall.”

  Good God, my sister and I were too much alike, even in our thought processes.

  She reached out to tap her husband on the shoulder. “Mike. Maddie’s here.”

  Mike turned around and grinned. My brother-in-law was a real estate agent with a drop-dead smile and the type of charm needed for his job. At least he was charming to everyone but me. Me, he teased unmercifully, which made me happy because I could give as good as I got. “Did you buy that outfit at the Salvation Army?” he asked.

  “Yep. Found it right next to yours.” I hugged my sister and then punched Mike in the shoulder. He feigned a grimace. Then I hugged him too. “Terri, Mike, this is Scott Brady. Scott, this is my sister Terri and her husband Mike Wilson. Poor guy’s also a Pottsville native.”

  The men shook hands, and the exchange seemed friendly.

  Terri was her usual subtle self. “What do you do for a living, Scott?”

  “This and that,” he replied with a goofy grin.

  I actually thought his answer was funny, although Terri’s reddening cheeks told me she didn’t. Older sisters, I supposed, always felt like they needed to protect their younger sisters. Scott had promised me to talk about his job after the reunion, and I meant to hold him to that promise. Terri obviously didn’t have the patience to wait.

  She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I work for a lot of different people,” he calmly replied. “One place, mostly. But I take odd jobs, too, if it’s for the right person.” Ending the inquest, he turned to me. “Want a drink?”

  “I’d love one.”

  “Let me guess. Mimosa?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  Oh, how I loved his smile. “Like I keep telling you, angel, ask me when you’re serious.” He walked away before I could say a word in rebuttal.

  By the time I turned back to Terri, she was smirking. “What happened to no strings attached? Thought he was just supposed to be an escort. You were serious when you said he wanted more?”

  “Yeah, well…like I told you, he changed the rules on me. Wants to try the relationship thing.”

  “Interesting,” she replied, drawling the word out much longer than necessary. “And he didn’t run screaming for the hills when you said the M-word. You know, he’s one damned fine-looking guy.”

  Mike huffed an indignant scoff. “Um, Terri? Remember me, your husband? The guy standing right next to you?”

  “Why don’t you go get me a white wine, honey? You get to be designated driver tonight.” She patted his shoulder. Mike rolled his eyes and followed the same path Scott had just blazed through the elbow-to-elbow crowd.

  I settled in for Terri’s inquisition and was already forming evasive answers in my mind when I glanced up and gasped, finally having the courage to admit to myself exactly what my goal had been for this reunion all along.

  If I wouldn’t be honest to anyone but myself, this was the moment I’d waited for. All the plans for the reunion—all the worrying about how I’d look, who would go with me, what the events would be like—were actually to lead up to the time when he arrived.

  Damn, I appeared the fool, standing there in ripped jeans and a pale pink hoodie. What made me think anything would ever be any different? What made me think I could ever be anyone other than awkward Maddie Sawyer? What made me think I could ever fix all the things that had happened in the past?

  You could take the girl out of Pottsville, but you couldn’t take Pottsville out of the girl.

  I wanted to run to Scott, have him wrap me in his strong arms and drive me right back to New York City—where I belonged. With Scott, I wasn’t a loser. In New York, I wasn’t a loser. Here, with these people, with this man, that was all I’d ever be. A damned loser.

  “Oh, my God. He’s here,” I whispered, more to myself than to Terri.

  “Who’s here?”

  “Him!” Why she had to ask, I would never know. What other he could I possibly have been so concerned about?

  She caught on quickly. “Oh…him, him.”

  The guy walked into the room and the whole place hushed. Things hadn’t changed, and he sure hadn’t lost his charm. Quarterback of the football team. Star point guard on the basketball team. Student body president. Big man on small campus. The one person who could make everyone at Woodrow Wilson High School jump at his command.

  And damn it all if he hadn’t even changed. I wanted him to be bald with a beer belly and a few missing teeth. C
oke-bottle-bottom glasses would have been a nice touch as well.

  But nooooo.

  That dark hair had some gray around the temples, but he probably still weighed what he did in high school. Quite a bit of the muscles remained. He wore that expensive suit as if it was tailor-made. Anita still clung to him like a second skin. Fifteen years of marriage clearly hadn’t made her any more secure. Not that she should have ever been secure with that bastard as a husband.

  He glanced around the room, smiling and pointing, until his gaze came to rest on me. My legs started to tremble.

  Craig Douglas Austin—the man who had single-handedly ruined my life—had arrived.

  Chapter Eight

  Craig gave me a slow, lazy grin. A knowing smile as if to say, I won. Then he looked back at his Barbie doll of a wife and started chatting with the small crowd gathering around him.

  Nausea washed over me in a crashing wave, and I actually groped around searching for Scott’s hand. He was the first person who popped into my mind when I needed comfort, pushing my sister aside as my usual go-to-when-terrified-beyond-reason person.

  Scott was there for me, quickly setting the drinks on a table before his hand encased mine. “Maddie? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” he whispered close to my ear.

  All I could do was shake my head.

  “You look a little green. I told you not to eat all those Cheetos.”

  I couldn’t even speak. Memories swarmed the room like specters, swooping around Craig and then coming to hover over me, taunting and laughing and letting me know they’d never truly left me. They were too strong to push aside. I was drowning.

  Scott’s brow furrowed. “Are you gonna throw up?”

  Maybe. Maybe not.

  He didn’t even give me a chance to reply. After a quick mumbled apology to Terri and Mike, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me out of the Moose Lodge entrance into the cool night air.

  I took a couple of deep breaths and tried to stop the pounding of my heart. I’d told myself it shouldn’t matter if Craig came to this stupid reunion. I’d told myself all the bad things had happened a long time ago. I’d told myself this homecoming was about me showing Pottsville that I wasn’t Maddie Sawyer anymore.