Incredible You

by Lili Valente

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Group texts from Shane Willoughby,

  Penny Pickett, and Catherine “Cat” Knight

  Shane: Good morning, ladies!

  I need an emergency meeting. ASAP!

  GIRLS ONLY.

  Can you do brunch at Mon Cherie on fifty-sixth in an hour?

  Cat: You do realize it’s six in the morning…

  Penny: Wuh? Oks?

  Cat: See, Penny’s thumbs aren’t awake, and brunch doesn’t start until at least ten a.m. Before that’s it’s called breakfast, and it’s not happening on a Saturday.

  Go back to sleep, Willoughby, and text again at a reasonable hour.

  Shane: I can’t!

  I need to talk to someone about what happened last night with Jake or I’m going to lose my mind!!

  Cat: Jake your client? The hockey player?

  What happened? Are you okay?

  Shane: Yes, I’m wonderful.

  But also terrible.

  But mostly wonderful.

  But also TERRIBLE because he just LEFT to go to the airport and I really didn’t want him to go and now I need girl talk REALLY BAD.

  Cat: Oh my…

  So he just left your place at six a.m.?

  And I’m assuming you two weren’t playing Scrabble all night?

  Shane: Um…no.

  Penny: No!

  Bdklsjmhjgtyu

  Bash NOT going happy.

  Shane: Don’t tell him yet, Penny! Please! Chicks before dicks, Pickett!

  Penny: But I

  Shane: Sistas before mistas!

  Venus before penis!

  Cat: Besties before testes.

  Shane: Right! Please, Penny! Just give me a few hours.

  I need to talk this out with you two before I can even THINK about damage control for the intervention.

  Penny: Ugh. Fine.

  Be at Mon Cherie in thirty minutes.

  Will be girl drinking giant coffee in pajamas.

  Shane: Thank you, Penny!

  Cat: I’ll be there in thirty minutes, too.

  I’ve been up since five puking, anyway. It’s probably best to give up on going back to sleep and go eat my body weight in French pastries.

  Shane: Thank you, doll!

  And I’m sorry. Morning sickness still terrible?

  Cat: The worst, but it gets better if I make myself eat something.

  If either of you get there before I do, order me two slices of plain white toast, two chocolate croissants, some green juice for vitamins, and a decaf with extra cream. And don’t even THINK about starting without me.

  I need to hear every word, Shane. Every. Word.

  Shane: Cross my heart. No words before you get there.

  Thank you guys! You’re the best!

  And thank you for being my friends. I love you both so much!

  Cat: Aw, I love you, too. Even though you’re a morning person.

  Penny: farting unicorn emoji

  Cat: That means Penny loves you, too.

  Unicorn farts are made of love.

  Penny: Fact.

  farting unicorn emoji <3 farting unicorn emoji

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Shane

  When I arrive at twenty till seven, Mon Cherie is deserted except for the two men in white chef’s coats working behind the counter, and the two clearly just-rolled-out-of-bed women huddled in a red leather booth in the back.

  Cat’s red hair is tucked up under a faded sock cap, a few strands escaping to trail down around her pale face as she grimly munches a piece of toast. Penny’s silky brown hair is pulled into a knot on her head, her doll-like features still puffy from sleep as she buries her nose in a coffee mug nearly as big as her head. They look like refugees from a late-night study session, and I’m suddenly nostalgic for college and all-nighters at the coffee shop on campus.

  Nostalgic, and so grateful for these two wonderful women who care enough about me to get up at the butt crack of dawn on a Saturday.

  “You guys,” I say, eyes getting misty as I slide into the booth across from them. “You are a beautiful sight right now, do you know that?”

  “Oh no.” Penny’s brown eyes narrow over the rim of her cup. “This is worse than I thought.”

  Cat nods as she takes another bite of toast, scattering crumbs over her gray sweatshirt. “Yep. She’s still wearing orgasm-colored glasses.”

  I smile. “I am not wearing orgasm-colored glasses. I just love you two.

  “Orgasm-colored glasses,” Penny repeats. “You’re going to think everything is beautiful for the next ten to twelve hours. Longer if it’s a good case.”

  “It looks like a good case,” Cat says, eyebrows wiggling. “So how many times did you ride Jake’s hockey stick last night?”

  My cheeks heat as I reach for the coffee Penny pushes my way. “Um, a few.”

  Cat grins. “Good for you. You were overdue for some sexy fun time.”

  “I agree. Though, it would have been nice if you two had waited until the intervention was over,” Penny says. “Sleeping with a client who’s paying you to pretend to be his girlfriend is flirting with trouble, Shane. I, for one, would prefer not to go to jail for helping to run an alleged prostitution ring. At least, not until after the wedding. Bash and I have worked so hard on all the planning. It would be a shame to spend the big day behind bars.”

  “You’re not going to spend your wedding behind bars.” I glance over my shoulder, making sure we’re still alone in the café before continuing in a soft voice, “Jake isn’t going to tell anyone when we started sleeping together. And besides, I’m donating my portion of the consulting fee to charity. So it’s not like I’m really getting paid.”

  “It’s still a legal gray area.” Cat brushes toast crumbs from her fingertips and reaches for a croissant. “But considering I ended up sleeping with, marrying, and getting knocked up by my MBC consultant, I’m in no position to talk. Besides, I’ll represent you for free, Penny, on the off chance you or Bash get into legal trouble. And I’m a shark, so we won’t lose.” She takes a fierce bite of her pastry, as if to illustrate her sharkiness.

  “A pregnant shark, who’s going to be busy with a newborn before she knows it,” Penny says. “And I thought you were going to quit practicing law if you’re elected to the city council in November.”

  “I’ll come out of retirement if you need me.” Cat closes her eyes with a soft moan. “God, this is delicious. I’m feeling so much better already. I should have started eating two hours ago.”

  “See, Penny? We’re all good.” I add more sugar to my coffee. “It’s so nice to have a lawyer in the family. Now can we get down to the serious stuff? Like what I’m going to do about Jake and his intervention and his unbalanced ex and the fact that I think I’m falling in love with him?”

  “Oh my God, really?” Penny sets her mug down and covers her mouth with both hands. But even with her face half covered, I can tell she’s grinning.

  I nod. “Really. And I have never fallen for anyone this fast, but he’s just so…incredible.” I sigh. “Sweet and funny and thoughtful and—”

  “And a tiger in the sack,” Cat adds dryly.

  “I don’t kiss and tell,” I say primly, though I can’t help squirming in my seat as memories of all the wicked and wonderful things Jake and I did last night flicker on my mental screen.

  “No way, Willoughby.” Cat points her half eaten croissant at my face. “You made it your mission to embarrass me the morning after Aidan and I were first together. So I want details. All the details!”

  “I did not!” I insist, though I do sort of remember offering to make them matching “I just got laid and all I got were a few orgasms” Tshirts.

  “You did, too! You were shameless.” Cat shakes her head. “So I want some of the good stuff. At least tell us if he was the best you’ve ever had.”

  I press my lips together for a moment before nodding. “Yes. The best I’ve ever had. The very, very best.”


  “Excellent,” Cat says, grinning. “Congratulations.”

  “Yay!” Penny does a little happy dance that makes her messy bun bounce up and down. “I’m so happy for you! And Bash will be, too, once he yells about it for a little while.”

  “He was going to be mad at me anyway,” I say, explaining about the interview last night.

  When I’m finished, Penny sighs. “Yeah, he’s going to be pissed, but I agree it was the right thing to do. I mean, it would be different if you were going to be on staff long term, but this is a one-time thing. And if you and Jake really are together, then it’s not like you’re lying to the reporter. At least not completely.”

  “Right,” I say, spirits lifting. “I hadn’t thought about that yet. I honestly haven’t thought about much except that I’m probably crazy to be jumping into this so fast.”

  “You might be.” Cat, always willing to play the voice of doom, steps up to the plate. “I mean, you don’t know him very well. He’s on his best behavior now, but who knows what he’ll be like in a month or two. He could have jealousy issues or mommy issues or be one of those jocks who obsesses about wheatgrass and supplements and what he eats, and is just a general pain in the ass who’s no fun to take to dinner. And who wants a man who’s no fun to take to dinner? Dinner is the only thing better than breakfast. God, this croissant is really something special. You should get one.”

  Penny’s nose scrunches. “That reminds me… Not the croissant part, but the not knowing him part. Bash did end up finding something on Jake. From before he turned eighteen.”

  My stomach clenches, setting the coffee I’ve drunk to gurgling. “Really? Is it bad?” I ask, before immediately shaking my head and holding up a palm. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I want Jake to tell me. If he wants to.”

  “Are you sure?” Penny asks. “I mean, it’s not something that will make you think less of him, but it would help you understand where he’s coming from. And it might help with the intervention.”

  I shake my head more firmly. “No. I’ll ask him about it when he gets back from his away game. It should be his choice. When it was just work, I didn’t mind going behind his back, but now things are different. He’s given me a lot of trust, and I don’t want to violate that.”

  “That’s a good sign.” Cat taps her straw on the table, pulling off the wrapper. “Trust is good. Sounds like you guys are starting out on the right foot.”

  “We are.” I bite my lip. “I mean, some of the things he said to me last night were just so perfect. He just gets me, you know? And I get him.” I fight a goofy, love struck grin and fail. “And it’s like neither of us really has to try. Does that sound crazy?”

  “No.” Penny smiles. “That’s how it was with Bash. He always understood me, even when no one else did.”

  Cat nods. “Aidan, too. Which is special, because I’m weirder than Penny is.”

  Penny laughs and gives Cat’s shoulder a soft shove. “You are not! I’m totally weird. Aidan told you I used to have a hideous manatee tattoo before he fixed it, right? It took up my entire thigh.”

  “That’s right. I forgot about that!” Cat casts Penny an appraising glance. “You are weird.”

  “Totally,” Penny says proudly. “And I didn’t leave my apartment for six months when I first moved to the city. Not even to buy toilet paper or ice cream. I was an agoraphobic hermit who probably would have died if it hadn’t been for grocery delivery.”

  Cat smiles. “I didn’t know that. Aw, now I see why it was so easy to become besties. You’re nuts, too.”

  “Speaking of nuts,” I say, trying to get them back on topic. “Jake’s ex is truly out of her mind. She tracked me down the morning after those shots of Jake and I kissing at the Met came out, and left me a crazy stalker present at the front desk at my building. It was my mug shot from the time I got arrested at a protest in college and a promise to expose all my dark secrets so Jake won’t want to date me anymore.”

  “Oh God,” Penny says, her smile fading. “That’s scary, Shane. You and Jake should go to the police.”

  “It wouldn’t do any good,” Cat says, lifting her hands in surrender as Penny and I both shoot her stern looks. “Sorry, but I had a stalker. A restraining order isn’t going to keep a truly disturbed person away, and the police don’t have the resources to protect everyone who’s threatened. Your best bet is to hope she sees that you and Jake are the real deal and finds someone else to obsess over. Or that she does something crazy enough to get locked up for life like my ex.”

  I shiver. “Keri did stab him in the arm with a kitchen knife. But even if I could get him to report it, I don’t know that it would result in an arrest, let alone her doing any time.”

  “Probably not,” Cat says. “Not if it was her first offense and there aren’t any witnesses aside from the two of them.”

  “There aren’t,” I confirm, fingers drumming on my mug. “So maybe Jake is right, and faking a pregnancy is our best bet. He seems to think she’ll back off if she thinks there’s an innocent life involved.”

  Cat’s brows arch. “Well, he knows her best, I guess. I’m inclined to think people like Keri aren’t willing or able to care about innocent lives, but if you need advice on how to fake being knocked up, let me know. So far, it’s involves more puking and exhaustion than I expected.”

  Talk turns to babies and due dates and then to Penny’s plans for Bash’s birthday and their December wedding. We pause for refills—and for Penny and I to order food and then return to our booth—then spend the rest of the morning catching up. By the time we leave the restaurant around ten a.m., just as the café is beginning to bustle and a line is forming for pastries, I’m happily caffeinated and feeling hopeful about the future.

  Penny and Cat don’t think I should slam on the brakes with Jake, and the man himself has already texted me from Chicago to say:

  Just landed. Missing you already.

  Will call as soon as we get checked into the hotel. Wish I hadn’t had to leave you this morning, princess.

  I like waking up to you.

  I text back—I like waking up to you, too. Can’t wait to hear your voice, sexy—and practically dance out into the crisp, sunny fall day, hugging my phone to my chest. I am so happy, happier than I’ve been in ages, so happy that I don’t notice the woman in the doorway of the drugstore across the street until she darts out of the shadows and hurries away, her back turned to the morning sun.

  I freeze, watching Keri flee down the sidewalk, wondering if the fact that she’s making a break for it without any threats is a good sign or a bad one…

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Jake

  Back when I first started playing for the Rangers, I lived for away games.

  Coming from a poor family, I’d never had the chance to travel. I loved seeing new places, hanging out with the team in the hotel bar after the game, and that sense of family that connects people who are on the road together. Even years later, after I got old enough to appreciate waking up in my own bed, I still got a rush on the way to the airport.

  But this time, I can’t fucking wait to get home.

  Texting and talking on the phone with Shane isn’t enough. Skyping is even worse. To be able to see her but not touch her is pure torture. Not even crushing the Blackhawks six to one and pulling off a hat trick for the first time this season is enough to keep the scowl from my face on our last night in Chicago. After touching down in New York, all I want to do is head straight to Shane’s house, lock the door, and make love to her for two days straight, until she’s come so many times she can’t move and I have to carry her into the bathroom for a couple’s shower and more orgasms.

  Instead, I hurry home for a lightning fast shower and a change of clothes before meeting Shane and Denise at a cantina close to my apartment to conduct our second interview over happy hour margaritas. I expect my bad mood to linger—fielding uncomfortable questions is never my favorite pastime, and shari
ng Shane is dead last on my list of things I want to be doing right now—but the moment I see her the cranky haze fades away.

  The bar is packed and the lights are low, but I spot her the second I step through the door. She’s laughing at something Denise has said, and she’s got that big Shane smile on her face, and she just fucking…glows.

  And then she looks my way, as if she can sense that I’m standing there thinking about how beautiful she is. Our eyes meet and her smile widens until the glow becomes a shine so bright there might as well be no one else in the room because all I can see is her.

  We meet somewhere between the hostess station and the crowded bar, and I kiss her like we’ve been apart way more than three days.

  I kiss her long and deep, my hands skimming over her curves as I use my lips, teeth, and tongue to tell her how much I’ve missed her, how insanely sexy she looks in that tight red sweater, and how I can’t wait to have her alone and underneath me. By the time we come up for air, I’m hard enough to balance a margarita on my dick, but my gray sweater hangs low enough to mostly conceal the situation.

  I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’ve finally learned that inconvenient hard-ons are something I should take into consideration when getting dressed to spend time with Shane.

  “I’m so glad to see you.” Her eyes dance as she brushes gentle fingers across my cheek. “I was starting to think I’d imagined you.”

  “Glad to see you, too. You look beautiful.”

  “You, too,” she says with a happy sigh. “But you’re going to look better without any clothes on back at my place.”

  I laugh. “God, you too.” I squeeze her hips through her jeans. “I can’t wait to get you naked, princess. I spent the entire plane ride thinking of ways to make you scream.”

  She shivers. “Soon. Hopefully this won’t go too long. I think Denise has a Halloween party to get to in a couple of hours.”

  I take her hand and let her lead me across the room to where Denise is perched at a table in the corner, something prickling at the back of my brain. “I forgot it was Halloween.”

  “Me, too,” she says, raising her voice to be heard over the crowd. “Totally slipped my mind until I saw the flock of princesses outside my building. There had to be twenty or thirty of them, all on their way to a party.”