If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  His voice matched his serious demeanor. “Hey Andrew.”

  Andrew straightened from the beam he was inspecting and came to his feet slowly. Holding out his hand, he was relieved when Ford accepted it. “Ford.”

  “Hanging out a little late, aren’t you?”

  He shrugged. “Just wanted to check a few things before I left.”

  “Things are coming along great out here,” Ford said as he took in the progress with a critical eye. “You guys are ahead of schedule.”

  Andrew nodded in agreement. “It’s been going very smoothly. No big issues have popped up yet.”

  “Let’s hope they don’t.”

  Andrew began gathering up his tools, aware that Ford was watching him closely. He waited for the ball to drop, but Ford seemed content to merely study him and size him up.

  As Andrew moved toward the door, Ford followed behind all the way to his truck. “Do you have plans this evening? Have time for a quick drink?”

  Andrew glanced at him over his shoulder. “I don’t drink.”

  “I’ll drink, and you can watch.”

  Knowing that this was Ford’s way of telling him he would not accept a negative answer, Andrew conceded. “All right. Where did you have in mind?”

  “I know a small place not too far from here. Just follow me.”

  Still new to text messaging, Andrew fumbled his way through a brief message to Jamie advising her that he would be home late while Ford returned to his truck. Then they were pulling away from the home site and making their way out of the custom development toward the main streets of north Mesa. While he drove, he found his thoughts circling to how he would manage getting out to his grandmother’s to take care of the horses and then back to Jamie’s house before dinner. Somehow he doubted that would be possible, especially when Ford pulled into the parking lot of a small Mexican restaurant. When he found a spot, he sent another message to her to let her know he probably would not make it for dinner. His phone vibrated almost immediately in return, but he figured it wise to not tell her where he was or who he was with at that point.

  It was a surprise to him as they were led to a small table painted a vibrant yellow to contrast with the blue, red and orange of the walls that he was a little nervous to hear what Ford would say. The last couple of weeks in Jamie’s company had been some of the happiest days in his memory, the depth of which he had not realized until that moment. Although he knew it was not really their business, more than anything he wanted her brothers to approve of their relationship. With his family broken apart by war and their emotional scars, feeling the fresh optimism from her family had become vital to him. Knowing how close a family they were made it all the more important that he stay on their good side, and he was not mentally prepared for anything less. Jamie had become a priceless part of his life, one he would not willingly part with. She had encouraged him to talk, held him in her arms while he released his inner angst, and she reminded him constantly that he had the rest of his life ahead of him to do with what he wanted. In her company, he could feel himself heal.

  Taking a seat across from Ford, Andrew watched as Jamie’s brother smiled his thanks at their young hostess before turning his attention back to him. “You sure you won’t have a beer?”

  “Water’s fine for me.”

  Ford placed their order with the girl and picked up the laminated menu. “I’m starved. Are you going to eat something?”

  Reaching for his own menu, Andrew gave it a once over and hoped the food was as nice as the interior. “Sure.”

  Their waitress appeared with the drink order, interrupting any further conversation. She smiled expectantly while the two of them decided what they were going to eat. Andrew allowed Ford to go first then placed his own order for a chicken enchilada. He sat back with the fresh tortilla chips and salsa the waitress left at their table, waiting for Ford to say what was on his mind.

  It took only a moment before Ford broke the silence. “How’s the job going? Are you enjoying it?”

  Andrew was surprised at this indirect approach but accepted it. “It’s good to work… I like it.”

  “Times have been really tough for all of us lately, tight. Am I paying you enough?”

  Andrew’s brows rose. “Well, sure… I’m glad to have a job right now.”

  Nodding his head, Ford reached for a handful of chips and placed them on his plate but did not make an attempt to eat any. Instead he leveled Andrew with a steady stare. “It’s only been a short time, but I have to say that I’m still just as impressed with your work as I was when you first came on board. You’re good with your guys and lead them exceptionally well. All of the jobs you’ve handled have gone without a hitch. I’d like to keep you on as long as possible.”

  “I have no plans of going anywhere,” Andrew replied.

  Ford took a long drink of his beer before setting it down on the table. His gaze avoided Andrew’s. “Jamie told me that you’ve been invited to talk about your experiences over the last few years…”

  His voice trailed off uncomfortably. That was a reaction he was growing more used to. Not very many people aside from Jamie wanted to discuss the wrong done to him. Darren was still studiously working on a settlement from the state, something Andrew had only discussed with him and Jamie. Now that he had her in his life, Andrew was finding the rage slowly easing from him and now more than ever he wanted to put the past – all of it – behind him. He wanted a new life, one that included Jamie.

  The realization made him pause. A life with Jamie? That was sudden. As he thought of it, he concluded that he did, he really did.

  “That’s a career path I have little interest in,” he reassured Ford.

  “She also mentioned that you had given up pursuit of your master’s when you joined the military. She said you were considering finishing that off.”

  The corners of Andrew’s mouth deepened in amusement. “She’s been talkative.”

  Ford shrugged. “Our family has no secrets.”

  So there it was.

  “I can tell.”

  This time it was Ford who smiled in amusement. “I know you and Jamie tried to keep it quiet and you’d leave early so no one would see your truck, but I jog in the evenings when it cools off.” He patted his stomach. “I’m not getting any younger, and I’m beginning to settle in areas I have no wish to sag.”

  Though they were almost the same age, Andrew could not relate to Ford’s comment. He was still as trim as he had when he was in the military. Though he tried to remain sympathetic, his voice was tight when he answered. “We weren’t hiding anything. We have nothing to hide.”

  Waving his hand impatiently, Ford brushed aside Andrew’s defensiveness as though it was a non-essential. “I’m not saying you do. I think you’re a far better sight than that neighbor of hers who was chasing after her. He seemed to be looking for a new mother for his kids. Jamie doesn’t need that. She’s a great girl.”

  Andrew’s brows rose as he felt the same twinge of jealousy that had overwhelmed him when he barged into her house. “Do you mean George?”

  “Oh, you know him?”

  “I met him once,” he said roughly, remembering the night he wanted to kill the other man.

  “So you know how desperate he is to get help raising those kids. I feel for the guy, but I know Jamie wouldn’t be happy in a relationship like that. She needs someone tough and a guy who can handle himself as well as her. I wish you all the best of luck, Andrew. She’s a great catch for you.”

  Andrew had run several scenarios through his mind on how the initial discussion would go, but the blessing of the family patriarch was not something he had prepared for. He found himself smiling a real smile knowing that Ford was supportive of his budding relationship with Jamie. A weight was lifted off his shoulders; a weight he was not even aware he was carrying.

  “I couldn’t agree with you more,” he replied.

  “That being said, I want to keep you on, Andrew. If things don’t w
ork out with Jamie, I’d rather it not impact our working relationship. We’re a tight family and I’ll kill you with my bare hands if you hurt my sister, but aside from that I’d like to try to maintain a professional relationship as well. Do you think you can agree?”

  “I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Andrew said dryly.

  “You never do know, do you?” Ford said, chuckling again.

  “I would as soon cut my own arm off than hurt a hair on your sister’s head, so you don’t have to worry about trying to kill me with your bare hands,” Andrew said.

  “Good, because I think I’d be in training for years before I could take you on,” Ford said, relieved.

  Nodding matter-of-factly, Andrew smiled again. “As I said before, I have no interest in going anywhere. I’ll let you know if anything changes in the future.”

  “Good news,” Ford said beaming.

  The waitress returned then with their meals, and Andrew watched as Ford placed his napkin on his lap and dug in with the speed of a man who appeared to have not eaten in some time. It was clear why Ford was developing a bit of a paunch, he thought wryly. Andrew approached his food more slowly, savoring each bite of the enchilada like the man he was – one that had lived first on military and then on prison food for most of his adult life.

  Words were few while they ate, so he allowed his mind to wander. Ford’s approval of his and Jamie’s growing intimacy left him feeling like an eager teen meeting a father for the first time, and he could not deny that he was pleased he was willingly accepted. Whether or not the other brothers would remained to be seen, but Andrew felt as though the hardest nut had been cracked. Feeling more relaxed, he enjoyed his meal, and it had grown dark by the time they exited the restaurant. Fall had been approaching rapidly, and the shorter days held the promise of cooler temperatures ahead. Andrew dreaded feeding the horses in the dark, but heading over to Jamie’s afterwards was all the motivation he would need to make it quick.

  Ford paused one more time before they parted ways for the evening. When Andrew looked up from unlocking his truck, Ford was tossing his keys in one hand as though debating something. He waited patiently.

  “I’m not sure if you and Jamie have made plans yet, but Isabel is determined to have a Halloween party up at our place next weekend. If you’re free, we’ll expect you.”

  Andrew shrugged. “I’ll ask Jamie when I see her.”

  Ford nodded. “Okay then.”

  He still lingered, so Andrew indicated with his thumb to his truck. “I’ve got to get going before the horses break down the fences and storm the barn.”

  With a nod, Ford began to head away. At the last moment, he paused and called out. “Hey, welcome to the family.”

  Andrew drove away from their meeting with a wide grin and a new purpose. Things were starting to finally go right in his life. A new chance, Jamie had said. He had the chance to start all over from scratch, and now it appeared that the support was not just coming from the very special woman in his life but also from her family.

  It seemed as though his luck was finally turning.

  Chapter 17

  Despite the progress Andrew was making in his personal life, the problem of Adam was ever-present in his mind. The significance of his traveling around the Southwest visiting friends was not lost on Andrew, and not for the first time his brother’s odd behavior worried him. Though Andrew did not speak of it, he was growing more anxious to see his brother to try to reach him through words if possible, fists if necessary. One way or another, he would draw out what was troubling Adam and stop his self-destructive behavior. One way or another he would do what he had always done and try to help.

  In the years since his return, more attention had been given to the state of the returning veterans and their ongoing issues. Sustained combat was now admitted and identified as a true source of post-traumatic stress disorder, the levels of which had not been seen since Vietnam. Andrew had no doubt that Adam was facing much of the same inner turmoil many of the others and he had experienced, but where Andrew had taken it upon himself to handle his situation and attempt to overcome it in whatever method he could, he feared Adam would be too stubborn to admit the diagnosis let alone try to face it.

  Urban warfare was much different than the mountains of Afghanistan. Around every corner there could either be a bad guy or a child; Adam surely never knew. Entering the military as a kid fresh out of high school also impacted the much younger brother. At least Andrew had experienced life a little before he joined. His team had consisted of a small group of men, the average age of which of was early-30s, while Adam had been sent over with young guys, full of spit and vinegar but also fired up with the need serve their country. All these years and tours had taken their toll on him. While Adam had returned home safe, he still bore scars internally if not externally.

  His grandmother had called him that afternoon to tell him that Adam was passing through Phoenix and would be home by dinnertime. First a trip to Tucson, then San Diego, and finally Los Angeles on his way back, Adam had driven a lot in a short time. That was something that concerned Andrew more than his angry behavior. It was all leading to something, but Andrew had no idea to what.

  Jamie was supportive when he called her to let her know that he was heading to meet Adam. She wished him good luck with her cheerful voice, but Andrew knew how frightened of his brother she was. The first impression Adam had left her with was unfortunately not a good one, and although they had discussed that disastrous dinner and Andrew had apologized for his brother’s rudeness he suspected Jamie would not forgive him anytime soon. Considering how open Jamie was, that spoke volumes. Her opinion that he was loaded for bear seemed accurate, and Andrew wanted to shelter her from his brother. The uncustomary possessiveness sent warning bells off that even he feared his brother.

  When he pulled into the drive of his grandmother’s house, he saw an unfamiliar blue Cobalt parked. Adam was home. With a heavy sigh, Andrew climbed from his truck and went to the barn first. As was customary, he saw to the horses before entering the house, making sure that they were doing well and had plenty of water. He and Jamie had been going out on the weekends and working them, but Andrew still felt some residual guilt for not putting them through their paces as often as he should. He made a mental note before slowly heading into the house to ask Jamie to come out an evening or two during the week as they had before, anything to avoid the upcoming confrontation.

  With a heavy heart, he entered the house through the slider as always, finding Linda singing by the sink as she prepared a fresh green salad. He nodded in greeting, taking in her cheerful greeting with a slight smile. As he felt his lips spread, he once again gave thanks for Jamie. Without her, the flash of his teeth would most likely not be present to Linda’s sparkling eyes.

  “Well look at you! You’re glowing, Andrew,” she said in amazement. “I take it these last couple of weeks have been good for you.”

  “They have,” Andrew said in return.

  “You’re just in time for dinner. Adam got home an hour ago. He went to shower and change. You’re staying for dinner, right?”

  Apparently the two women had already consigned him off to moving in with Jamie, and happily so, judging from Linda’s dancing eyes. He reached down and gave her a hug, one that caused her to laugh in surprise. “Yes, I’m staying for dinner. I wanted to spend some time with Adam while I can.”

  “That’s good news.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  She pursed her lips. “Go on and set the table; we’ll eat in the dining room again.”

  Reaching for a sliced carrot popping up from the top of the salad, Andrew swiped it before Linda could catch him. She swatted at him playfully. “Get on out of here. You can have as much as you’d like once the meal’s ready.”

  She was still laughing when he reached for the plates and carried them into the dining room. Andrew realized that the sound of laughter did not offend him as much anymore. It was a good fee
ling, and he was proud that he was winning the battle over his scars.

  “Hey Drew.”

  Andrew’s reflective smile faded when he glanced up. Adam stood in the doorway, looking trim and clean cut but still shifting anxiously. Taking a deep breath, Andrew promised himself that he would remain calm at all times and refuse to allow Adam to provoke him.

  “Hey yourself. How was your trip?”

  Adam moved deeper into the room, his hands anxiously drumming atop the chair directly in front of him. “It was good. I saw some friends that I haven’t spoken to since I came home.”

  “How did that go?”

  Adam’s drumming sped up a little. “Everyone’s changed, Andrew. Kids, wives, divorces, it’s like the world has moved on and I’m still back in Iraq. It was harder than I thought to say goodbye.”

  Nodding sympathetically, Andrew kept his face as neutral as possible. “I know what you mean.”

  Adam’s discomfort was obvious. His rapid drumming abruptly stopped, and he pulled out the chair in a jerky movement. “Yeah, I guess you would.”

  Not a good start to their conversation. Andrew backtracked quickly. “So have you been thinking about what you’re going to do next?”

  “Next?”

  “Your contract’s up soon. Have you considered what you’re going to do when you’re out?”

  “I once had big plans to follow in your footsteps. That didn’t quite work out, did it?”

  Andrew stiffened, and his voice was hard when he answered. “You live your own life. There’s no point in following in anyone’s footsteps, especially when tragedy strikes.”

  “Tragedy? Is that what you call that BS?”

  Ignoring his raised eyebrow, Andrew shrugged. “I can’t call it anything else. What’s done is done. I’m trying to move on and start a new life now.”

  “Yeah, with that hot little witness of yours? Too bad she wasn’t there when the shit hit the fan. You wouldn’t have had to put your life on hold if she hadn’t disappeared on you.”