by KC Burn
THE UNUSUAL heat against Raven’s face roused him to wakefulness. He peeled his cheek away from warm, sweaty skin, pulled his head out of the covers, and peered blearily around. Sunlight streamed in his windows, a slice of sunbeam landing across a substantial lump under his covers.
A sudden burst of panic tried valiantly to dissolve the fog in his brain. Pulse racing, he stared at the lump. The lump he’d relaxed against so contentedly he’d slept well into the morning, face pressed trustingly against a warm back. What had he done last night? Who was in his bed? He’d never slept with anyone like this. Quickly clenching his butt confirmed his growing suspicion that he hadn’t had sex. At least not of the anal variety.
Tentatively he reached out and tugged at the sheet obscuring the identity of his bed mate.
Caleb. Oh, God, it’s Caleb.
Raven dragged the sheet down a little farther. Far enough to see that Caleb still wore underwear, and Raven’s brain began working enough to realize he was still wearing his bathrobe.
The panic receded, but embarrassment bloomed as the events of the previous night returned. No, definitely no sex. There were guys he’d met in clubs and even on set who wouldn’t have thought twice about banging someone who was passed out or too drunk or high to object, but Caleb wasn’t like that. They hadn’t known each other long, but Raven had good instincts about people. Those instincts had kept him alive and mostly undamaged so far, and there was no way Caleb was that sort of asshole.
Still, it had to have been one of the most ridiculous endings to a date ever. How was he ever going to face Caleb? More importantly, how was he going to sleep in this bed again? One night, the first night he’d ever slept with a man in his bed—and now every night he slept by himself he’d be taunted by how fucking good it felt to wake up with someone he cared about.
“Hi.”
Caleb’s sleepy voice made him jump, and his gaze skittered up to Caleb’s face. The gentle smile held no censure, and Raven’s lips curled up in a tentative smile of his own.
“Hi.”
“How’s your leg this morning?”
Embarrassed heat flooded Raven’s cheeks, and he dropped his gaze. Fuck. Apparently, his chest blushed too. He could have gone his whole fucking life without ever figuring that out.
“I’m sorry.” He was officially the worst date in the world. This was one for the history books. Or the agony column.
“For what?”
Raven stared at Caleb, waiting for the punch line. Surely Caleb couldn’t have been happy about the way their date had ended. He was amazed Caleb hadn’t slipped out in the early hours of the morning. He waved in the general direction of his left hip.
“This. I’m sure you weren’t planning to play nursemaid last night.” Hell, they hadn’t even been planning to play doctor last night, but Raven was sure this date meant they wouldn’t ever have the chance for that. “I… I won’t hold you to our plans on Saturday.”
If he could muster up any happiness at all, he’d applaud himself for keeping his voice from breaking. Caleb was a good thing, one of few he’d come across in his life, and he’d fucked it up.
Caleb propped himself up on his elbows and stared at him thoughtfully, those warm brown eyes seeming to delve down into Raven’s innermost fears.
After several interminable moments, Caleb shuffled back on the bed so his head and shoulders were partially propped up on the pillows. “C’mere.” Caleb held out his arms, and although Raven knew better, he couldn’t stop himself. He crawled back into the warm haven of Caleb’s embrace. Relaxing against Caleb’s chest was probably stupid, but he was going to squeeze every cozy bit out of this encounter that he could.
With a strong, gentle hand, Caleb stroked and circled his back, the motion soothing and nonsexual.
Caleb cleared his throat, but it was still a few more seconds before he spoke, almost like he was searching for the right words. “It’s okay that you’re not perfect, you know.”
Raven couldn’t hold back a disdainful snort.
“I’m not joking,” Caleb said sternly. Which was kind of hot. “I’m not perfect. I wouldn’t expect you to be. Hell, I’d never have had the courage to do any of this if you were perfect. Perfect is unattainable, and I very much want to attain you.”
Chancing a glance upward, Raven couldn’t deny Caleb looked as sincere as he’d sounded.
“But… this was horrible. I slipped and fell. Got stoned on pain medication, and….” Raven scrunched up his nose. “You called a friend? Who came to look at me. What if I’d had to go to the hospital? As it is, I’m sure neither of us were planning any kind of sleepover.”
“Jaime’s also my cousin, but that’s not important. I’m not going to lie, Raven. I’d love to have sex with you. I’d love to have a sleepover—many of them—where we pass out after sweaty, athletic sex.”
At those words Raven tensed up, but Caleb kissed his forehead, the gesture sweet and comforting in a way Raven wouldn’t have expected.
“I’m also not a selfish asshole. You’re not ready, and I know that. My hand is perfectly reliable and will be acceptable until you’re interested in something more.”
“And you’ll wait?” Raven wanted to believe him, but he wasn’t sure he could let himself. But neither did he want to discourage Caleb. A month ago, he’d have assumed that he’d never be ready, but meeting Caleb had proved to him that his libido hadn’t been excised along with the shattered bone of his hip joint. He’d be ready, if Caleb was truly willing to wait.
“Of course.” There was a pause, but one laden with intent. “Look, we talked about previous relationships at dinner.”
“Right. You’ve had two and I’ve had none.”
“Do you remember cuddling on the couch last night?”
Had he dozed off and missed a segue in the conversation? “Yes. At least, until the meds kicked in and I fell asleep. Then Jaime showed up.”
“It was good. Comfortable. Intimate in a different way than sex. I’ve never had that. My previous boyfriends, well, we’d have sex, go to dinner, clubs, concerts. We’d even hang around either my place or theirs and watch movies or something, but there was never that closeness. Maybe it was me. Maybe I kept them at arm’s length, I don’t know. But I know I had a great time, and I think we click. I want to see where this goes.”
There was a funny hitch in Caleb’s words, but he’d already told Raven that he wasn’t out to his family, so maybe that’s all it was.
“I want to see where this goes too.” If those weren’t the most terrifying words on the planet, he didn’t know what were.
“Okay, then. So here’s a hypothetical question. If I’d been the one to fall yesterday, and twisted my ankle, what would you have done?”
Raven rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t have fallen. You don’t have a fucked-up leg.”
“No, but accidents happen every day. There’s no good reason it couldn’t have been me. Would you have dropped me off at my apartment and told me you were disappointed we couldn’t have sex and you’d see me around sometime?”
Indignant, Raven pushed up and glared at Caleb. “Of course I wouldn’t. That would be awful, even if I didn’t care about you.”
Caleb laughed softly. “And I care about you. This is okay. In fact, it’s kinda good.”
“Maybe you did fall. And hit your head. How could this be good?”
“I didn’t word that right. I’m not pleased—at all—that you got hurt. But I feel like we’ve bypassed days or even weeks of circling each other. I feel like all that nervous awkwardness is gone, you know? Like we’ve leapfrogged into the next step. Is that weird? Am I going too fast?”
For the first time since they woke, Caleb looked worried, and oddly, that in itself reassured Raven.
“I don’t know what’s too weird or too fast, when it comes to relationships. I’m happy with where we are. I want to keep seeing you. And I agree with what you said. I don’t care if anyone else thinks we’re unusual. There’s no real
rule book, is there?” There wasn’t, was there? A secret rule book, like a secret handshake.
Caleb smirked, and relaxed. “No rule book. Are you okay being exclusive?”
Raven took a moment to consider. This was still a big step for him, but then again, it wasn’t like he had or wanted to have anyone else banging on his door, wanting to bang him.
“I’m more than okay with that.” The gravity of what he’d just agreed to made his fingers tremble, just a bit. He had a boyfriend. Squelching the sudden urge to fling open the window and yell the good news to the world, he smiled at Caleb. “So we’re still on for Saturday?”
Caleb nodded. “And maybe we could get together a few days after work before then. I don’t really want to wait until Saturday to see you again.”
Butterflies in his stomach had never been a good thing, but now he was no longer sure. Knowing Caleb wanted to spend even more time together was exciting and scary and comforting all at the same time. He was twenty-eight and on the edge of falling in love for the first time.
Like Caleb could sense Raven’s thoughts, he kissed Raven like there was nothing else he’d rather be doing. Raven gave himself up to Caleb’s soft, questing lips. Kissing wasn’t like this in front of the cameras, and the few guys he’d slept with extracurricularly didn’t seem to care for kissing much. They acted as though it was an optional course on the menu before getting to the meat and potatoes. So to speak. Caleb treated kissing like an event in itself, and Raven could get used to it.
As soon as they were both hard and rocking their erections together, Caleb pulled away, lips puffy and eyes darkened with desire.
“I should get going. I can’t slack off all day today.” The sweet smile didn’t have any judgment or censure in it, just because Raven didn’t really have anything else to do today. Caleb rolled out of bed, a healthy erection tenting the front of his briefs.
“Okay.” Raven was almost tempted to call him back to bed so he could explore, maybe even finish what they started, but he was glad Caleb had called a halt. Even counting Jaime, no one besides medical professionals had seen the extent of the damage on his hip, and despite Caleb insisting he didn’t care, Raven was better off waiting. No sense risking another cock-induced panic attack, even though there hadn’t been one on the horizon.
While Caleb visited the bathroom, Raven lay in bed, marveling at the light scent of Caleb left in his sheets. He’d never realized how sexy that could be.
When Caleb dressed, Raven unabashedly stared, wondering when he’d have the courage to explore all that brown skin with his tongue.
Finally the time came, and Caleb was ready to go. “Do you remember what Jaime told you yesterday?”
“Uh, maybe?”
“Take it easy. Use your cane for a few days.”
Ugh. His old-man cane. Better than the walker he’d had to use right after the surgery, but still. That was so not sexy. He gestured for Caleb to continue.
“If it feels worse than normal, go to the hospital. Call your doctor to check in.” Caleb leaned over and gave Raven one last kiss. “If you think you need to go to the hospital, call me, please.”
“I will.” And he would. Going back to the hospital would suck so hard, but it might be less terrifying in the company of someone who truly cared about him.
Raven waited until he heard the front door close behind Caleb before he snuggled back into the Caleb-scented sheets. Taking pain meds always took it out of him, which was why he hated them, but he was going to take full advantage of his unemployed state and sleep the day away. Before he managed to fall asleep, an insistent buzzing of his phone intruded in the cozy silence. When it buzzed again, he groaned and pulled himself out of bed. The twinge when he put more weight on his left leg was worse than normal, but not alarmingly so. Nevertheless, he grabbed at the cane Caleb had so thoughtfully left by the bed—last thing he wanted was to go back to the hospital—and hobbled over to where he’d tossed his pants last night.
Two texts from Will. “Oh my God.” He immediately called Will. “Will, is this true?”
Will laughed excitedly. “Yep. Two definite bookings from our friend Paolo at the resort and another half-dozen e-mails asking questions about our services and prices. And Paolo also forwarded a number of compliments from both attendees and organizers of the romance conference.”
The last of Raven’s sleepiness burned away. At the conference, they’d given away all five hundred of the business cards he’d hurriedly had printed, never dreaming any of them would bear fruit this soon, if at all. “This is real.”
“This is real, buddy.”
“We’ll need to get together, do some more planning. Figure out how to respond, stuff like that.”
“How does today look for you? I’ve been planning to see how my new intern manages on his own, so I’ll just tell Stefan I’m taking a day off.”
“Perfect.” Raven paused for a moment. He so rarely had people over to his place, but it was time to start breaking that habit. Because there was no way he wanted to risk going out somewhere else today. “Can you come over here? I hurt my leg yesterday.”
“Really? I guess the date went really well, then. I want details.”
All alone in his room, Raven blushed. So fucking weird that he’d suddenly rediscovered how to blush after all he’d seen and done at the studio. “It wasn’t like that, but it was a good date.”
Chapter THIRTEEN
LIGHTNING FLASHED, illuminating Raven’s living room. A couple of beats later, thunder boomed, and Raven twitched in Caleb’s arms, where they lay together on the couch.
“It’s getting closer,” Caleb said.
“Uh-huh.” Raven snuggled deeper into his arms.
They’d turned off the TV once Mother Nature decided to give them a spectacular light show with the oncoming storm. It had only been a couple of weeks since they’d started dating, but Caleb had already figured out that Raven’s condo was a great vantage point to view lightning. After all, Florida was the lightning capital of the country, and Caleb had done his best to see Raven as often as possible since their first date.
He kissed the top of Raven’s head, content just to hold the man. Sometimes, after their dates, they ended up back at Raven’s, making out like teenagers. Raven hadn’t given any indication that he was ready for anything beyond that, but Caleb was enjoying himself. Kissing, talking, holding each other, often through the whole night, was far more intimate and satisfying than the few one-night stands he’d had, or even his two pathetic attempts at a relationship. Waiting for Raven was worth it.
“How’s your hip doing?” Not all storms made Raven’s hip ache, but a number of them did. During their two weeks together, they hadn’t experienced any tropical storms or hurricane warnings, nor even a storm as bad as their first date, for which Caleb was glad.
Raven stretched a bit, the gentle rub enough to send signals to Caleb’s dick. He was getting used to being in a constant state of arousal around Raven, but there was something enjoyable about that as well. When things got too intense, Caleb would excuse himself to take a shower and take things in hand. As much as he wanted Raven under him, sweaty and naked, he wasn’t an animal, and his hand would do until Raven was ready.
“Um, I was just thinking I might grab my heating pad.”
Caleb nudged Raven into a sitting position. “Here, let me get it.”
When he returned, he had Raven’s heating pad, as well as a beer for himself and water for Raven. He’d quickly learned that not only would Raven not get in a car with him after he’d had anything to drink, but if Caleb was driving anywhere, even a couple of beers made Raven tense. Caleb had gradually gotten into the habit of only drinking beer when he was staying the night with Raven. Even without sex, he was quickly becoming addicted to sleeping with Raven curled up next to him.
Probably he should have asked if Raven wanted a beer, but if his hip was hurting, he might have to take a painkiller later, and Jaime had warned him about letting Raven drin
k while taking such strong medication. Caleb plugged in the heating pad and draped it over Raven.
“Thanks.” Raven’s smile was sweet, and Caleb rushed to return them to their previous comfortable cuddle. They watched the lightning for a bit longer in silence, but there were still so many things he wanted to know about Raven.
“So, I don’t think I ever asked. Did your mom name you Raven, for real?” Caleb already knew Raven’s last name was McIntyre from the entrance buzzer to the building, but somehow he’d never gotten around to asking about his first name. Raven had told him early on that his mom was a single, teenaged mother who’d kicked him out of the house, so Caleb knew there was no dad in the picture.
Raven snorted. “No, not hardly. I chose this name for myself once I was on my own. I don’t really remember why I chose it at first, but I liked it, and it stuck. It’s more me than the ridiculous one my mom gave me.”
“So, what is your real name?” Did they have enough trust between them for that? It was obvious to Caleb that Raven didn’t share that information easily, but he wanted to know. “Or did you change your name legally to Raven?”
“Nah. I thought about it a couple of times, but never did that. My real name is Finlay.” Raven planted a quick kiss on his jaw. “I must like you or something, because I don’t usually tell anyone that. It reminds me of unhappy times.”
Caleb squeezed Raven a little tighter. “Mmmm. I like you or something too.” He tried not to make a big deal out of it, but it warmed him deep inside to have a tiny piece of Raven that most people didn’t know. It confirmed his belief that they were building something special, something Caleb had never had before.