The Better Man

by Hebert, Cerian

  “I think so,” she replied softly. From the concern in his gray gaze, this was a blow to him.

  “Lori, why? Okay, I think I know why, but you have a life down in Florida. Everything is there.”

  “And maybe I need to get away from ‘everything.’ I don’t want the reminders, Will. Or the old life. I have never felt so at home since coming here. That’s something I won’t have once I go back.”

  “Darling, you’ll always have a home down there.”

  She sighed. Was she hurting him? That wasn’t her intention. She knew what he meant, she could move in with him and they could continue to cultivate this affair. But as much as she wanted him, she didn’t want Orlando.

  “I appreciate that, but Will, there’d be so much talk. I don’t want to be the center of more gossip. I’ve had my fill of it. On Monday, I’ll go back to my old job, which I hate, and the people there will be patting me on the back and telling me how sorry they are about what happened with Brian. But behind my back, I’ll be the hot topic of conversation. My friends, too. Oh, not my closest friends, but the ones I used to ‘share’ with Brian. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation for everyone.”

  “When are you planning on dealing with Brian? You don’t see this as avoiding the situation?”

  Lori sighed and closed her eyes. “I’ll have to deal with him soon. Sooner than I want, I suspect.” And it would take all her strength not to shove his engagement ring down his throat.

  “You’re not still in love with him , are you?” He asked the question slowly, as if it were the last thing he wanted to ask, as if he were afraid of the answer he’d get.

  Her eyes shot open and she faced him. “God, no. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this trip. Being alone does that.”

  “I thought you said you hadn’t thought of Brian since you’ve been here.”

  She smiled. “No, I said I never thought of him at night. When I was alone in this bed, I only thought of you. During the day, all bets were off. Now, let me finish. I thought a lot about my relationship with him, where it went wrong, what I did to drive him away. I had to figure out why my love wasn’t enough for him, and then it dawned on me. It was because I didn’t love him. I’d stopped truly loving him years ago. No wonder the poor guy went out and found some young thing who’d adore him. I wasn’t fulfilling that need anymore. And you know what? I didn’t care. I know that sounds bitchy and cold, but it was true. Loving him, being with him, had become a job, a chore. Poor guy.”

  “Still didn’t give him the right to go out and do what he did.” Will’s voice was gruff, tinged with anger.

  “And look what I did. Basically the same thing. It was all in the timing.”

  “Please don’t say you don’t love me, Lori. Don’t you dare tell me you regret what has happened.” He gently cupped her chin in his palm so she had to look at him. His eyes were so dark, so powerful. Even with the frown—maybe especially with the frown—he held her mesmerized. Helpless.

  “I’ll never say that. Not ever. But Will, I need to do this. Give it a shot. Maybe I’ll come back down someday. Maybe it’ll be next week. But I have to give a new life a chance.”

  “You’re breaking my heart again. I know that’s not a very manly thing to say, but that’s what you’re doing, Lori.”

  “Then stay with me. Pack up your things and move up here with me. We can be crazy together and find out where this thing is going.”

  Will leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers in a sweet, soft kiss that sent butterflies to all her extremities. But he pulled back before they went any further and shook his head.

  “Not until you love me the same way I love you. This isn’t enough for me, Lori. I want it all. If it means I get nothing then so be it.”

  How could she reply to that? Instead, she stared at him, her gaze holding his for several seconds.

  “But I do intend, Lorelei, to make you fall head over heels in love with me.”

  “I’m more than half way there already, you know.” She reached up and stroked his jaw.

  “Halfway will do. For now.”

  * * *

  The same girl was at the front desk when Will went down an hour later. She was polishing her nails and singing a song under her breath and didn’t look up until he cleared his throat.

  “Oh, hi.” The girl flashed him a grin.

  “Hi. I was hoping you could help me out. I need a table for dinner tonight. Do you have something private, romantic?”

  The girl raised one eyebrow and Will realized how odd his request sounded. Lori would have been on her honeymoon had things not gone badly between her and Brian. And here he was, planning on wining and dining her.

  “Well, maybe. I can see.”

  Will leaned toward her, keeping his voice low. “I love her. I’d marry her right this minute if I thought she’d say yes.”

  The girl’s face softened a little. So, she was also a bit of a romantic. “I’ll see what I can do. There is a nice table. Usually it’s reserved for special occasions, like honeymoons or anniversaries, but it’s not being used tonight.”

  “You are awesome. Thank you.”

  Will turned away from the front desk and looked down at his clothing. He hadn’t packed anything more than a pair of jeans and a couple casual shirts. He only had a few hours to play with, but remembered passing a small mall on his way to the inn. Maybe they carried men’s clothing, something a little dressier than what he was wearing.

  By the time he got back, forty minutes later, people were already gathering for dinner. The girl who’d been at the front desk was now in a black dress and stood at the entrance to the restaurant. She winked at Will as he walked by.

  “You went clothes shopping?” Lori asked with a laugh when she let him back into the room.

  “Couldn’t escort you to dinner wearing jeans and a polo shirt, could I? Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready.”

  It took less than ten minutes to shower and change into the dress pants, charcoal grey shirt, and black tie. When he came out of the bathroom, Lori was dressed too. He stopped dead and stared. Longing raged inside him once more.

  Her dress was calf-length, but hugged her body to show off her generous feminine curves. The deep red fabric screamed both elegance and seduction.

  Her hair flooded loose in luxurious honey waves to the small of her back. At her neck hung a thick gold chain holding a red stone the size of a quarter. A ruby. The one her parents had given to her for her twenty-fourth birthday.

  Suddenly he didn’t want to share her with anyone. “Maybe we should have dinner in the room.”

  Lori pouted and sauntered over to him. In four-inch heels, she stood nearly eye-to-eye with him. “Oh, come on. Dressed like this, we can’t hide up in the room.” She kissed him on the jaw, softly.

  The effect was overwhelming. Will shoved down the desire to sweep her off her feet and take her back to bed. “You’re right. Come on.” They started for the door, but he suddenly stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

  “What?”

  “You look absolutely stunning.”

  The smile that spread across her ruby-red lips was one of pure pleasure. “Thank you.”

  The hostess’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when she greeted them in the dining room. She repeated Will’s sentiments with genuine delight.

  Lori slid her arm around Will’s waist. “Have you officially met Will?”

  “No, but I’d like to.”

  “Tina, this is Will Draper, my best friend. Will, this is Tina Howell.”

  Will shook the girl’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

  “And you too. I’ve got your table ready.” She picked up two menus and led them into the dining room, to a corner table for two. Plenty of privacy. It overlooked the patio, empty due to the fall weather, but the view was impressive. Tea lights strung from the trees outside glittered into the night.

  The overhead light was low and two candles on the table added to the romanc
e, as did the bouquet of flowers in the center of the table.

  “Enjoy.” Tina laid the menus down on the table and left.

  Will kissed Lori lightly before he helped her into her seat and took his own. Her eyes sparkled as she looked around their surroundings.

  “Did you do this? You are full of surprises tonight.” She returned her gaze to him.

  “I aim to please.”

  “And so far you’ve been right on the mark on all accounts. Oh, what I’ve missed.”

  Both satisfaction and sadness filled Will’s heart at the frustration in her voice. Had it really been so bad with Brian they hadn’t even managed a romantic dinner or two? Probably. He knew on the occasions they did go out, it was usually a group affair.

  Firmly, he put Brian out of the picture. The man didn’t deserve to share any space in his mind with Lori. Not anymore.

  After the waiter arrived to take their orders, Will reached across the table and clasped Lori’s hands. “I have to go back to Orlando in the morning.” He didn’t want to go. He’d rather stay in New Hampshire with her for a week. A month. Hell, a whole year, but he had a business to run back home and hadn’t planned for longer than a night away.

  Lori’s content smile faded and she tightened her mouth. “I know. I would just rather not think of it tonight.”

  Her admission sent a wave of pleasure through him. She’d miss him, which meant he had to make the most of tonight. He had no idea what tomorrow would hold. If she decided to stay in New England permanently, then what? Would that be it for them? A small taste of what could have been? “Me neither,” he admitted and squeezed her hand. “You know I want you to come back.”

  “And you know why I don’t want to go back. Call me a chicken, but I don’t want to face everyone, everything that went wrong. There were more problems with my life than just Brian.”

  He sighed. Why the need to push the topic? The direction of the conversation cast an unpleasant pall over the table. But he wanted her to know she could return and make a better life down there. There was no reason to fall back into the same old rut.

  “There are lots of hotels down in Florida that would love to have you. It is, after all, a big tourist spot.”

  “I don’t want glitz. I want family. I want a quiet, beautiful old inn with lots of fresh air.”

  “Okay, we’re not going to get anywhere right now.”

  The waiter brought their wine and Will changed the subject. They talked about her trip, what she’d seen and done while in New England, and what she had planned for the remainder of the vacation. They talked about her friends down in Florida and anything else he could think of. Everything but Brian, for which Will was grateful. He dreaded any questions regarding her ex.

  Luckily, she seemed to make it a point to stay away from him.

  He was amazed at how much they talked, how much they laughed. Whenever he could, he held her hand over the table, stroked her palm with his thumb, looked into her light blue eyes and fell deeper, despite the fact that his heart would be thoroughly broken if she actually decided to stay.

  After a shared tiramisu, they walked hand in hand back up to her room. This would be their last night together for who knew how long. Maybe forever if she really intended to stay. Fair or unfair, he meant to make the most of the next few hours.

  Chapter Seven

  “Remember when we first met?” Will tightened his hold on her and kissed her hair. They were sitting on the recliner by the window, both naked, the comforter from the bed covering their bodies. She curled up on his lap.

  “Oh, God. Don’t remind me.” She laughed and shook her head.

  “Karaoke night at Neon.”

  “Stop!”

  “You, my darling, were singing Copacabana.”

  “You have no mercy.”

  “It was a very riveting performance.” His voice was soft, but he grinned. “I had to know who you were.”

  “I was horrible, and I can’t believe I was up there making a fool of myself.”

  “You were pretty horrible. But I fell in love with you right then and there.”

  “Oh, Will.” Lori leaned in and kissed him softly.

  “If that night had only happened before you were with Brian, well—”

  Lori pressed her mouth to his, softly stroking his cheeks. What good would it do to dwell on what might have been? To think if it hadn’t been for Brian, maybe she and Will would’ve had something? That Will wouldn’t have left her at the altar? That maybe by now they’d be married with a couple of children?

  No, thinking about possibilities did no good. The future was the only important thing. The future and the man who cradled her in his strong arms and had professed his love for her over and over. She didn’t doubt his love was deep and real. What she wasn’t sure of, was what she would do about it.

  True, she loved him. Since the night they first made love, she’d had a lot of time to delve into just how deep the emotion went, what sort of love it was, where it could go if left to grow.

  But she’d also thought about going back to Florida at the end of this trip. Deep down, the memories of her life with Brian couldn’t overwhelm her or devastate her. Whatever damage he had done had been accomplished early on. This entire trip had been about healing, moving on. But did that mean she was moving on toward Will? Or something completely new?

  No, she wouldn’t make any decisions. Not yet. She’d see what happened here. There was no guarantee she’d get a job, even if the owner decided to hire someone for the front desk position. If that didn’t happen, she’d have to go back to Florida and face everything.

  Maybe she should do that anyway. Oh, why did these decisions have to be so difficult?

  Or did it?

  For whatever was left of the night, she decided not to think about it. Not to worry about what would happen as soon he left her in the morning.

  * * *

  When Will closed the trunk of his rental, Lori wasn’t ready for the tears that slid down her cheeks or the loss that nipped at her heart. She had asked him one more time to stay with her, but again he’d declined. She knew why. He didn’t want her to run away from her life in Florida.

  Will gathered her into his arms and pressed his lips against her head. “Please come home. After this trip is over.”

  Lori shook her head but snuggled close to him. Already she loved his scent, the strength of his arms and gentleness of his hands as he stroked her back. “I need a fresh start, Will. I can’t go down there and face everyone.”

  Will chuckled softly. “Honey, who cares what other people think?”

  “I do.” She pulled out of his arms, but didn’t look at him. Being so close to him wore at her resolve to stay. Instead, she glanced back at the inn and smiled. The whole place soothed her. “I could be so happy here.”

  Will’s silence didn’t really surprise her. Finally, she raised her eyes to him. His gaze was pinned hard on her, but only sadness lurked in his eyes. “I could be so happy with you, too,” she said. “Oh, Will, what am I going to do? I want both. I’m afraid I’ll get stuck down there, not with you, but in a job I hate. I don’t want that.”

  “There are other things you can do down in Orlando. Be with me, find something new, something you want to do. You don’t have to get back into the same old rut.” He kissed her softly on the forehead before getting into the car. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  For an hour after he left, Lori sat on one of the Adirondack chairs on the back verandah and stared out at the lake. The colors of the trees reflected vividly on the glass surface of the water. Very little could compete with its beauty, and she understood why so many people made this part of the world a mecca of sorts. For her it had healing properties, but she wondered if she would ever get over Will.

  “Hey, you’re out early.”

  Lori looked up and smiled at Tina. “Too nice to be cooped up inside.”

  “Where’s Will?” Tina took the seat next to her.

 
“He just left. Had to get back to Florida. This was rather an impromptu visit. I hope I didn’t break any hotel rules by having him stay last night. I’ll gladly pay for a double if need be.”

  Tina waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. After the help you gave me, you should get the room for free. And speaking of which, I did talk to Mr. Goss yesterday. He wants to meet with you, even though he says he hasn’t ‘decided on a course of action yet,’ whatever that means.”

  “Means he may not be hiring for the position, after all.” Strangely, Lori was only slightly disappointed.

  In fact, Tina looked more concerned about the prospect. Fear wrinkled her brow and she bit her bottom lip. “Please tell me you’re kidding. Oh, Lori, if he keeps me there, I think I’ll go nuts. I’m so bad at it.”

  Lori patted Tina’s hand. “You’ll get used to it. Believe me, it’ll come to you in no time. You need to take a deep breath.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Easy for me. I’m going to be unemployed soon.”

  “That bad?”

  Lori chuckled. “Only if I want it to be, I guess.”

  “You have Will to go back to, right? I mean, how could you even think of not being with him?”

  “Will is more complicated than that. I don’t want him to be a rebound relationship. He’s been my best friend for so long. I love him dearly, I always have, but now there’s a whole new element to our relationship and it scares me.”

  “Why? God, Lori, I’d kill for a guy to look at me the way Will looks at you. I know you’re probably nursing a broken heart right now, but I believe in fate, and maybe Will is your destiny.”

  Lori stared at Tina without speaking.

  “I know it sounds corny.” Tina laughed. “But think about it.”

  “I have. I’ve spent two weeks thinking about it. Oh, it’s so hard. I’ve fallen in love with New Hampshire, really I have. But I’m afraid I’ll decide to stay and a year down the road I’ll regret it and want Will, but it’ll be too late. He’ll have found someone else and I’ll have to live with that regret for the rest of my life.”