Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel)

by Dee J. Stone

  I said, who is trespassing? a bull shark demands.

  Fiske prods my rib.

  Damarian of the Sapphire clan, I say, no emotion in my voice.

  The sharks study me for a few seconds before parting to let me pass. As the Sapphire clan comes into view, my movements grow slow. I do not know what I am to do, how I am to live in such a manner. It is as though someone has torn my heart out of my chest and has left me hollow.

  I do not pay much attention to anyone as I swim toward my home, nor do I acknowledge my family when I enter the cave. It is possible Zarya shoots toward me or that Mother and Father try to speak to me. I head for my room and slide into my shell.

  ***

  “Damarian.” Doria shakes my shoulder. “Damarian, what is the matter?”

  I turn away from her. “Please leave me be.”

  “We are all very concerned for you.”

  The pain all over my body has not subsided. In fact, it has only increased.

  Doria says more words, but I do not acknowledge her. Nor do I acknowledge anyone else who enters my room and tries to speak to me, not even Zarya.

  Days pass. I spend all my time here in my shell, mourning the love I have lost and the human I have hurt. I loathe myself for breaking her heart like this. I hardly eat, I hardly sleep, I do not speak to anyone.

  When Father tells me the princess wishes to speak to me, I tell him I am not certain if I can ever see her. I have not only hurt Cassie Price, but the princess as well, all because I have been selfish. She may not love me in the same manner Cassie did, but I treated her unfavorably. Even after she was willing to forgive me for traveling to land and after she discovered my heart belonged to another. She is one of the kindest beings I have ever met, and I do not deserve to be in her presence.

  I am thankful that Father does not force me to see her. I have not told them what has occurred between Cassie and me, but I assume they have come to the correct conclusion. At times, Mother joins me on the bed and rubs my back, not uttering a single word. I appreciate her sympathy and concern. Zarya sleeps with me in my shell practically every night. She and the twins are too young to understand what a broken heart is, but they know I am hurting. With my family around me, comforting me when I do not deserve their comfort, I realize how wrong I was when I wished to sacrifice them for Cassie. I need my family and they need me. It only confirms how nearly impossible it would have been to have a future with her. And then the pain restarts.

  “Damarian.” Father touches my arm. “Princess Flora is here to see you.”

  My eyes open. The princess has traveled here to speak to me? I quickly get up and am ready to sit on one of the stone chairs, when her voice says, “Please remain where you are.”

  I look toward the entrance to my room and see her floating outside with Morteran by her side.

  “My princess.” Father bows before her. I do so as well in my shell.

  She waves her hand, motioning for us to be at ease. “If you do not mind, I wish to speak to Damarian in private.”

  Father nods and leaves the room. Morteran moves from the entryway, but I know he will remain close by.

  “My princess.” I lower my head. “Forgive me for not responding to your request to see me. I have been…” I swallow. “I have not been well.”

  She sits on the chair closest to my shell. “I am well aware of what has occurred.”

  I stare at her. “You are?”

  “Your father stated you have returned from land in distress and wished not to see or speak to anyone. I gathered things did not end very well with your human.”

  I lower my eyes as the pain once again enters my body.

  “You must return to her.”

  I raise my head and gape at her. “Pardon, Your Highness?”

  “I am not aware of what transpired on land, but you must not surrender.”

  Sliding out of my shell, I lower myself in the chair next to hers. “I am afraid I do not understand.”

  “After our last meeting, I had been consumed with thoughts. How you attempted to explain to me the deep love you felt for the human. I did not fathom it. I could not, for I have no experience in such a feeling. I realized that I wish to experience it as well.” She places her hand over mine. “As the future queen of the children of the sea, it is my duty to ensure that every creature, big or small, is safe and happy. And that includes you.”

  My eyebrows lift.

  “I do care for you, Damarian. Very much. It is my wish that you be happy, that you experience the love you have desperately sought all your moons.” She looks at her tail. “And perhaps one day, I will meet a child of the sea who would cause me to feel the way your human causes you to feel.”

  I take her hand. “That is what I have wished for you all along. It is what I wish for Kiander, Doria, Syd, Syndin, Zarya, and every child of the sea. For it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.” My lip trembles. For me, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

  Her hand squeezes mine. “Do not give up on her. Not when you love her.”

  “But how can I have a future with her? She is a human and I am a child of the sea. It is impossible.”

  “It is not. If you truly want to be with her, you should do all you can to achieve it. I know you will be able to, as long as the two of you love each other.”

  I tear my gaze from hers. “She does not love me any longer. I have betrayed her and have hurt her. She loathes me and I loathe myself.”

  “No, she does not. She will forgive you, for she loves you. She will understand how difficult it has been for you, having to choose between love and duty. I am still very much upset that you have been on land and revealed yourself to a human, but I know you love the sea and would not do anything to harm her or her creatures. If you are certain this human can conceal your secret, then I trust you. Return to her, Damarian. Although you do not require it, you have my permission. And insistence.”

  For the first time since I left land, I feel my lips lift into a small smile. “Thank you, my princess. I very much appreciate it. But…” I shake my head. “I fear all hope is lost. And my family…”

  “They will understand. All will be well.”

  She rises off the chair and I hurry to lower myself to the floor and bow. “You are one the kindest beings I have ever met,” I say. “I do not know how I can thank you.”

  She touches my shoulder so that I rise off the floor and float before her. “No, Damarian. It is I who should be thanking you, for you taught me the importance of love, and how I deserve to experience it as well.”

  “You do, Your Highness, am I am certain it will not be long before you find him.”

  She moves closer and kisses my cheek. “Do not yield until she agrees to spend eternity with you.” She swims out of my room.

  I remain in my location, merely floating as the princess’s words play in my head. My Cassie, my sweet human Cassie. All hope is not lost. The pain in every fiber of my being has decreased, and I no longer feel as though I will perish at any moment. I hurry out of my room, to my family who are gathered in the main quarters. Due to my extreme exuberance, the words shoot of my mouth. “I am to take my leave. I do not know when I shall return, but I hope it will not be too long.”

  “You are leaving?” Zarya demands, betrayal in her eyes. The twins’ eyes hold the same.

  “Forgive me, Zarya, Syd, and Syndin. But when you are older, I will explain—”

  Father throws his half-eaten fish onto the table and leaps off his chair. “Follow me into your room, Damarian. This instant.”

  Every other member in the room stares at the two of us. All the joy I felt only seconds ago rushes out of me body. I swim after Father and enter my room.

  He floats there with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes furious. “What have you just announced? That you are leaving home? To land?”

  “Yes, Father.”

  “To see that human?”

  I nod.

  He throws his hand
s up. “These past few days you behaved as though you were to perish. I know it was because of that human. She is vile, just as her entire race is. And now you wish to return to her?”

  “She is not vile, Father. We had…there was a misunderstanding, all due to me. She has been nothing but kind.”

  He moves closer to me. “You would choose a despicable human over the princess of your own race? Have you no shame?”

  “Princess Flora understands how I feel. She has given me her permission and insists I return to Cassie.”

  Father’s eyes move over my face, as though he cannot believe the words I have just uttered. “You are to tell me the princess has given you permission?”

  “Yes.”

  Father continues to stare at me for a little while longer before spinning his back to me. “The princess may have given you permission, but I do not.”

  “Father, please!” I swim over to touch his shoulder, but he moves away.

  “I cannot believe how foolish and selfish you are. The crown belongs to our family. Our family. This is the only opportunity we have to reclaim it.”

  “There is more to life than the throne,” I say as gently as I can. “The princess will make a fine queen, and I am certain she will choose the most competent male to rule by her side. It is not my destiny to mate with her and take the throne. It is my destiny to—”

  He whirls around. “To mate with a human?”

  “Yes.”

  He moves closer until his face is before mine. “No son of mine will betray his people for a vile human. I will not allow it.”

  I lower my head. “Forgive me, Father, but I do not need your permission. I understand you wish to do what you think is best for me, just as you would do to my brothers and sisters. But I am the sole being who truly knows what is best for me.”

  Father’s face is the most furious I have ever seen. “All right, Damarian. I tried not to be harsh previously, but I will be harsh now. If you dare leave the sea and step onto land, I will banish you.”

  I lose sensation in my tail as my eyes grow large. “B-banish?”

  “Yes, without hesitation.”

  “But how can you banish me? King Palaemon...”

  “Is not the true king. I am. I have the ability to banish as well. And I swear I will do it.”

  I am certain tears have gathered in my eyes. From betrayal. How could Father threaten to banish me for seeking what I desperately want?

  It takes a short while for me to gather myself. “The princess herself has learned to accept what lies in my heart. She wishes to see me happy. And my own father…” My lips are trembling so hard I cannot conclude my sentence.

  “I have been in this world for far longer than you have. I understand things you have yet to understand. In time, you will learn that all I have done, from the moment you were born, is for your happiness. Not mine, not your mother’s. But yours.”

  I shake my head. “You are mistaken, Father. Far, far mistaken.”

  He waves his hand. “If you believe this human is the only being that can bring you happiness, not your family who love you very much, by all means leave. Travel to land and live with the vile creature. Do not expect to lay eyes on any one of us ever again.”

  He storms out of my room.

  I fall to the floor as my heart beats violently. Father threatened to banish me. Could his words be true? Would he indeed banish his son? No, I refuse to believe it. But even so, how could I risk traveling to land?

  The princess understands my love for Cassie. Why does my father not attempt to try?

  I hear the voices of my family in the main room, each asking about my well-fare. I cannot lose them. I love them each dearly and I cannot spend the rest of my moons without sharing my life with them. But I love Cassie as well and want nothing more than to spend eternity with her.

  Then I remember she is upset with me. Even if I were to risk it all, for her, who is to say she would have me? I could very well be banished to land, never to swim as a child of the sea, and still not be with the one whom I love most. I would be sentenced to the same fate as Kyler.

  With my entire being quaking, I slide into my shell, under the seaweed.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Damarian, I refuse to take no for an answer a minute longer.” Doria grabs hold of the seaweed of my bed and yanks it away from my face. “You refuse to see anyone or talk to anyone, not even Zarya. Are you aware how much pain it causes her? Does it not concern you that you are hurting her?”

  Of course I do not wish to cause Zarya pain, but my entire body is engulfed in my own pain. I can barely move.

  She slaps my face.

  “Doria!”

  “Sit up this instant and tell me why you are behaving in such a manner.”

  “No. Please leave my room.”

  “I will slap you again.”

  Now she threatens me, too?

  She sits down on my shell and takes hold of my hand. “Damarian.” Her tone is much softer. “Please tell me what troubles you. I am very concerned for you. I will try to understand.”

  I remove my hand from hers.

  “I know this concerns Cassie. What has happened?”

  “Doria, leave me.”

  “I will not. I will remain here until you inform me what has you so upset. Why did Father yell at you? Why do you lie curled in your shell as though you are a frightened fry?”

  “Not frightened. Heartbroken.”

  She is silent for only a second. “Heartbroken? You and Cassie…?”

  “Yes.” I reluctantly sit up. “She discovered the truth that I am heir to the crown and am promised to the princess. She realized I lied to her. I have hurt her profoundly.”

  She takes hold of my hand again and does not allow me to free it. “I have never seen you so upset. I…I did not realize how much love you have for her.”

  “No one understands,” I mutter. “You all think I have been foolish, behaving like a fry, when all along I have experienced one of the loveliest feelings in the world. And now I will never be able to experience it ever. Because of Father.” I say his name with disgust.

  Doria’s eyebrows crease. “Father?”

  “Yes. He threatened to banish me if I returned to land.”

  Her eyes and mouth open widely. “He threatened to banish?”

  My hands curl into fists. Though I know it is not correct to have these thoughts, I loathe my father. Very, very much.

  “He could not have been serious,” Doria says. “Father is not one to make such threats.”

  “Perhaps Father is not the being we thought he was,” I say, my voice laced with bitterness.

  Doria moves closer to me in the shell. “What is your wish? Do you want to be with your human?”

  “Yes, I do. But Father stated—”

  “I refuse to believe Father would actually banish you. He is afraid of losing you, just as we all are.” She swallows. “But—and I am only saying this because I want you to be happy—if your wish is to be with her, then you must go.”

  “I am ready to risk banishment,” I admit. “I would for her. But she told me she never wants to lay eyes on me.”

  Doria studies me. “I understand. You are not certain she will have you. You do not want to risk all that is important to you if she will abandon you. You…” She swallows again. “If Father does indeed banish you, you will be stranded on land.”

  Yes, just as Kyler of the Emerald clan. I will be alone. I suppose not utterly alone, for Kyler is a banished child of the sea as well, but I cannot be with him face to face. I will physically hurt him.

  Doria rises off the shell. “I am certain Father will accept what lies in your heart. He needs time to make sense of this all. You are his eldest and he wants you to be happy. I am certain of this. Just be patient, all right?”

  Doria is mistaken. Father will never learn to accept this. Of that I am certain.

  ***

  My body is jolted awake when I hear frantic voices in the main roo
m. Worried someone has been hurt, I hurry out. Father and Mother are there, their eyes holding nothing but alarm.

  Dread nestles in my stomach. “What has happened?”

  “Have you seen Doria?” Father asks.

  “Doria?”

  “She left home,” Mother says. “She has not been back.”

  I look toward the exit to the cave and realize it is nighttime.

  “Do you know where she has gone?” Father asks.

  “No, I am afraid I do not.”

  “I must search the sea. I must ascertain she is well.” He surges out of the cave.

  “Syren!” Mother calls after him. Then she turns to me. “I do not wish to put blame on you, Damarian, but none of this has ever occurred, not until you left home. Now all the fry believe it is all right to just disappear with no explanation.”

  My eyes lower to my tail. “Forgive me. I did not intend to cause any of this.”

  “It is no matter what you intend, my son. It is what has resulted.”

  I lift my eyes to her as betrayal once again enters me. Though this one is more intense. “So you agree with Father? You want to keep me here in the sea so that I may never know happiness?”

  Regret shows on her face. She swims over and touches my cheek. “This is no easy matter. I understand that you love this human, or that you believe you do. But I cannot understand why you think there is no one here in the sea for you. Do you honestly wish to live on land? Away from me, your father, and your siblings?”

  I look away from her.

  “And the constant travel from sea to land. How long would it be before life grows busy and your visits lessen? I would hardly see you.”

  I still cannot look at her. I am not certain I want to feel anything at all.

  “A mother and father puts the happiness of her fry before their own,” she says, her voice soft. “But sometimes they are entitled to be selfish as well. I do not care that I am being selfish, Damarian. If that defines me as a callous being, so be it.”