Perfection: A Neighbor From Hell Novel

by R. L. Mathewson

  Eight years later........

  "Everyone else is bringing homemade food," Zoe mumbled, feeling embarrassed that she still hadn't mastered the art of cooking, well at least not baking even after all these years.

  After five failed cooking classes and Haley's guidance she could now sauté, grill, broil, boil, dice, and peel with the best of them, but she hadn't quite gotten the hang of baking. Even those brownies and cakes in a box gave her trouble and to date she hadn't had any of them come out like there were supposed to, that is come out of the oven edible. She either burned everything, undercooked it, or some weird combination of both. Haley was damn determined to help her and she appreciated it, especially since knowing how to bake would come in pretty handy with her household of Bradfords.

  "Well, not everyone is as busy as my baby so they can all," Trevor's eyes shot down to their seven year old twins, Jonathan, a.k.a. "Johnnie", and Sebastian and their six year old twins, Mathew and Jessica, who were all looking up at their father innocently, too innocently, Zoe noted, "go suck an egg," Trevor finished, pursing his face up like he swallowed a lemon much to the children's' delight.

  Zoe narrowed her eyes on the two sets of fraternal twins, and she thanked god everyday that they weren't identical because she really didn't know how she'd handle the little deviants if she couldn't even tell them apart, and wondered what they were up to now. When all four of them turned those charming Bradford smiles on her she knew it was going to be bad.

  Very bad.

  "What did you do?" she demanded, trying to cross her arms over her chest and look stern, but unfortunately for her it never really had much of an effect on her kids.

  "Why, whatever do you mean, mommy?" Sebastian, the perfect picture of innocence, asked. Like the rest of his siblings he had her hair and eyes, but his father's devastatingly good looks and charm and wasn't afraid to use them.

  "What did you kids-" Trevor started to say, no doubt noting the sweet smiles on their faces and becoming as frightened as she was, only to be interrupted when one of the cashiers, a pretty blonde in her late twenties who'd been eying Trevor like candy since they'd walked in, announced that their order was ready. After giving the children a look of warning he gave her a quick kiss and went to the counter to get the boxes of baked goods.

  Johnnie gave her that same smile he gave her when his teacher, who'd been trembling and sobbing at the time, informed her that he believed the twins had been the ones to lock him in the closet with the school's pet snake, "Choppers." She hadn't bought his innocent act then and she wasn't buying it now.

  "Remember what your father and I said earlier. If either one of you does anything bad then we're not going to your Uncle Jason and Aunt Haley's today," she said, knowing how much the kids adored Jason and Haley and refused to see them as anything less than their aunt and uncle. It was the same way for Jason and Haley's kids with them, but Jason and Haley's kids didn't scare the holy hell out of them with their innocent little smiles.

  "But, we're being good," Jessica said, trying to give her the pouty innocent look that usually worked on her father.

  "Really good," Mathew added with a hurt smile that was threatening to break out into a full grin. The boy really needed to work on his innocent act and judging by the scowl Johnnie was sending him he agreed and would probably look into the matter later.

  Zoe closed her eyes for a moment. "Please don't let us end up on the ten o'clock news again," she mumbled, wishing she was back home in the large spa-like bathroom Trevor built for her as a belated wedding gift. Over the years it had become her refuge, the one place she went to relax and recuperate after dealing with the twins, both sets. She'd lost count of how many times she'd handed the children over to Trevor as soon as he stepped foot into the house and escaped to her bathroom where she usually stayed for a good three to four hours until Trevor came to get her after he'd put the kids to bed to help her relax in other ways.

  "It was the eleven o'clock news," Sebastian proudly pointed out.

  She opened her eyes just in time to catch all four children grinning hugely at the reminder of their fifteen minutes of fame. When they realized she was looking at them their expressions once again became innocent, even Mathew's. Hmm, he was learning quickly, she noted, not exactly sure how she should feel about that other than terrified that is.

  "We didn't do anything, mommy. I don't know why you don't trust us," Johnnie said, giving her a wounded look as he gave her a little shrug. "We've been-"

  "Hey, what the hell is wrong with my cell phone?" a man who'd been standing next to them not five minutes ago demanded loudly.

  "There's something wrong with mine, too!" the woman who'd tried to cut in front of them earlier said, sounding pretty pissed.

  "Mine, too!" someone else yelled.

  "Why the hells are my settings in Japanese?" someone else demanded, but Zoe wasn't looking at them. She was looking at her four children, who if physically possible were looking even more innocent.

  "Let's go," Trevor said, suddenly by her side with an armful of white bakery boxes as he herded their children out of the bakery, no doubt already having put two and two together.

  No one said a word as they climbed into the minivan and the boxes were placed in the back, minus the large chocolate chip cookie Trevor was nibbling on. He climbed into the driver's seat and shot the children a warning glare. "I don't know what you did in there," he held up his hand in a stopping motion when all four kids opened their mouths, no doubt to protest their innocence, "and I don't care. But whoever acts up tonight will be spending the entire night with your great Aunt Judie and will only be allowed to eat tossed salad and drink water," he threatened and Zoe had to turn her face and bite her lip to stop from laughing, especially when all the children gasped loudly, sounding horrified. To a Bradford a meal based on lettuce, veggies and water was pure hell and her kids were very much Bradfords.

  "You wouldn't," Johnnie protested, but didn't sound so sure and for good reason. Trevor never made promises he didn't keep and the kids knew that.

  "Try me," Trevor said evenly, making Zoe smile.

  He was such a wonderful father, sweet, attentive, but firm when the kids needed it, and boy did they need it often. From the second he held the boys in his arms he'd been a very hands on father. He always did his fair share with the kids and usually more when she needed a break or had work to do. No matter how tired he was he never complained or put the kids off if they wanted to spend time with him.

  "B-but she just came back from antique doll convention," Mathew pointed out desperately.

  "She'll have pictures! Lots and lots of pictures!" Sebastian cried, sounding close to panic.

  "And you'll be spending the entire party with her if you act up or convince any of the other kids to act up," Trevor promised. "Am I understood?"

  "Yes, daddy," came the unified muttered response from the backseat.

  "Good," Trevor said, wiping the cookie crumbs off on his pants before he reached over and took her hand into his. She placed her other hand over his and absently traced shapes on his hand as he caressed her palm with his thumb.

  Even after all these years it still surprised her that he loved her. The fact that he could probably have any woman he wanted and he'd chosen her still humbled her. She would never be thin, gorgeous or sexy, but Trevor didn't seem to care. Actually, when she voiced her opinion on the matter he got really pissed and informed her that she was the sexiest woman he'd ever laid eyes on and then proceeded to prove it to her.

  Repeatedly.

  It only proved how much he loved her, which was all that mattered to her.

  "We're here!" Jessica said excitedly.

  Zoe looked over at the large two level dusk grey home and couldn't help but smile as she did every time she saw it even though five years had passed since it was built. The guys had done such a wonderful job building Haley's dream home. It was warm and inviting just like Haley. But as much as she loved the house that her family worked hard to bu
ild it was the old Colonial home that Trevor renovated for her that she absolutely adored.

  Trevor's deep chuckle drew her attention. "Looks like your cousins are ready to pounce," he said, nodding towards the front of the house where Cole, Elizabeth and Joshua stood waiting no doubt to help "relieve" them of the food. They were so much like their father sometimes it was scary.

  "You kids want to play a game?" Trevor asked as he climbed out of the car. The loud excited chorus of "yes" nearly made her head pop, but she was laughing too as she climbed out of the car and helped the kids out. They immediately ran around to the back of the car to learn about the game.

  "I'm going to give you each a box," Trevor said, gesturing to the four large boxes of baked goods, "and your job is to get these to your Uncle Jason, whom I'm willing to bet is out back near the grill."

  "What do we get if we win?" Sebastian asked, taking a box and shifting excitedly as he eyed his cousins.

  "Your uncle's undying love," Trevor said, laughing. "And the knowledge that you won."

  "And probably a cookie or two," Zoe added, knowing how the Bradford mind worked.

  Johnnie nodded firmly. "Let's go." With that all four children strolled casually towards the side of the house until their cousins narrowed their eyes on them and gave chase. Several excited squeals later and all seven kids were running towards the backyard, leaving them to follow at a leisurely stroll.

  *********

  "It's so beautiful and peaceful here," Zoe said, sighing contently the way she did every time they came here, which was often. A lesser man might be insulted that his wife got a dreamy eyed expression on her face every time she looked at another man's house, but he knew his wife absolutely adored the house that he'd fixed up for her. The few times he'd offered to build a house for her she glared at him as if he'd said something insulting.

  It always made him feel good to know that he made her happy. After the really fucked up start they had he was glad that he was finally doing something right, well right with a lot of little mishaps along the way. But they were happy, unfucking-believably happy, which still surprised him every now and then. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found the perfect woman.

  She was beautiful, smart, funny, a great wife and mother, a horrible singer, a decent cook and baked things that even their dogs wouldn't touch and she was his and he wouldn't change a damn thing about her. Zoe still didn't bother with makeup or care about the latest fashions, but she still managed to turn him on with very little effort and probably always would.

  "Did you bring your bathing suit, sweetheart?" he asked, already picturing her in that black one piece that showed off a decent amount of cleavage and her shapely hips. He'd kill to get her into a two piece, but the stubborn woman only laughed like he was joking when he suggested it.

  He wasn't.

  He was in love with his wife's body and it truly pissed him off when she thought there was something wrong with it. Her body was perfect. She hadn't lost any weight since they came together all those years ago, but she also hadn't gained any even with the pregnancies and if she ever lost the extra weight that made her soft and curvy he was pretty sure he'd cry.

  "I left it at home," she said with a shrug as if she hadn't just wrecked his plans for the afternoon. He'd been looking forward to sitting back with an ice cold beer as he ogled his wife. Now he'd have to settle for having her luscious ass resting on his lap, he thought with a shit eating grin as she released his hand so that she could place the anniversary gift they'd brought for Jason and Haley on a table overflowing with gifts for the happy couple.

  He let his eyes run over the pretty pink cotton sun dress she'd worn for the occasion and damn near sighed. She was so damn beautiful she made him ache.

  "Trevor!" Jason yelled, grabbing his attention. He looked up from his wife's beautiful legs, hesitantly, to find Jason gesturing him over towards a new large gas grill and several tables filled with food.

  As he walked past Zoe he ran his hand over her bottom, giving it an affectionate squeeze that he knew had her blushing without having to look, but he did. She looked so pretty standing there that he couldn't help himself. He bent down and gave her a quick kiss before she playfully pushed him away.

  "Your children are punks," Jason said affectionately as Trevor grabbed a beer from one of the large coolers and joined him

  "So are yours," Trevor said, chuckling as he gestured to the trio who were currently wrestling with their grandfather Jared in front of what appeared to be a large platter of cupcakes while two of Trevor's kids egged them on.

  He wasn't too surprised when he spotted Sebastian and Mathew sneak in around the little distracted crowd and lift the platter of cupcakes and make a hasty retreat. They signaled their brother and sister with a soft whistle as they made their way towards the back of the pool with the large platter of cupcakes.

  "Your children truly frighten me," Jason said even as he caught the little sneaks' attention with a low whistle. The boys paused a few feet away from the pool fence and freedom and shot their father and uncle a calculating look, probably trying to figure what the odds of escaping with all their ill gotten cupcakes were. Between him and Jason, they weren't good.

  "They frighten me as well," Trevor admitted even as pride filled him. His kids were fucking brilliant, devious, and entertaining as hell.

  He took another sip of his beer as he watched his children walk towards them, shooting nervous glances over their shoulders every few feet to see if Jared or any of their cousins had realized they'd been duped. They hadn't.

  Jason sighed heavily as he grabbed an ice cold root beer and walked over to his grandmother-in-law just as the feisty old woman tried to steal an abandoned beer off the table. Without a word he grabbed the beer out of the woman's hand and replaced it with the root beer, earning a tiny little glare that Trevor wasn't buying for one minute. Everyone knew the old woman had a soft spot for Jason.

  He watched as his four children stopped less than five feet away from them as they kept the large platter of cupcakes between them.

  "You can have one each," Sebastian said firmly as the children eyed them.

  Trevor and Jason shared a look and snorted out a laugh before they looked back at the children.

  "We get eighty percent of the haul," Jason informed them.

  "That's not fair!" Jessica said, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to glare up at her favorite Uncle. When that failed she let her bottom lip and chin tremble as her eyes filled up with unshed tears.

  Jason rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, Jessie? Don't start with a glare, go with a hurt look and never try it on another Bradford when food is involved," he explained patiently.

  Just as quickly as they came the tears were gone and she was frowning. "I forgot."

  "It's okay. You'll learn," Trevor said, knowing she would probably have it mastered by Christmas. "Now," he said, gesturing for them to bring the cupcakes closer, "give us our eighty percent."

  Johnnie and Sebastian frowned. "But that's twenty cupcakes, leaving us with five cupcakes," Sebastian pointed out.

  "And there's four of us," Johnnie added. "That's not fair. How about a forty-sixty split? That will give you five a piece and fifteen for us."

  "How about we get a hundred percent and we won't tell your cousins that you ate them all?" Trevor suggested, trying not to laugh at Jason's expression. Even though the man knew the kids had their mother's talent with numbers and were freakishly brilliant it still caught him off guard when the kids showed off their skills.

  Granted it had freaked him out a bit the first time he realized how smart his kids were, but that probably had more to do with their elaborate escape from their nursery and finding his two and a half year old sons calmly snacking away on cookies as they sat on top of the refrigerator at two in the morning.

  Both sets of twins shared a look and nodded before they turned their attention back to them. Trevor knew that look and didn't like it one
bit. They were up to something.

  "Here," Sebastian and Johnnie said, handing the platter over to him and before they could stop them all four children somehow managed to grab three cupcakes each and were making a run for it.

  "Uncle Jared, daddy stole your cupcakes!" his children announced, making him and Jason suck in a startled gasp.

  "Those little traitors," Jason gasped.

  "Yup," Trevor said, placing the tray of cupcakes on the table and snatching one up as he watched Jared and Jason's three kids descend on them. Jason grabbed one as well and Trevor considered selling out his cousin and his best friend, but then decided he'd rather save his energy to hunt down his little wife and cuddle with her on one of the lounge chairs while they watched their kids torment the rest of the family.

  "Those are our cupcakes, you bastards," Jared snapped, glaring at them as he grabbed the tray of cupcakes and marched off with Jason's kids running after him before they could make a lunge for the cupcakes.

  "You still want to take the kids for two weeks?" Trevor asked, not too surprised when Jason snatched the cupcake out of his hand and finished it off in one large bite.

  "Hell yeah," Jason said, sounding like he meant it, which he knew he did. Jason was one hell of a family man and really loved having the kids over since they kept him entertained.

  "Thanks," Trevor said, grabbing an ice cold Coke for his wife who was slowly making her way towards him with Haley by her side.

  "Not a problem. Have you told her yet?" Jason asked, grabbing a soda for Haley.

  "About the cruise?" he asked. When Jason nodded he shook his head. "I want this to be a surprise."

  "You don't think she knows you've planned a second honeymoon?" Jason asked, throwing his grandmother-in-law a look of warning as the woman tried to roll over to the beer cooler. She simply huffed and gestured for Mitch, who was currently snuggling with his wife a few feet away, to push her back in the shade. After giving his wife one last kiss he did just that and then was right back with his wife. Ten years ago Trevor would have made fun of the love sick bastard, but now he understood all too well what it was like to be utterly devoted to a woman.