Perfect Little Monsters and Other Stories

by Amy Cross

  I stare down at the necklace for a moment longer, before looking at my bowl and starting to scoop up some more beans. As soon as I've got them in my mouth, I feel juice dribbling down my chin, but I wipe it away real quick. Glancing at Brother, I see that he still hasn't wiped the juice from his chin, and he's staring at me.

  “You got something there, Enda?” he asks.

  “Like what?” I reply, trying not to panic.

  “I just thought you were looking at something under the table.”

  I shake my head, before looking at Pa and seeing that thankfully he seems lost in thought. Brother's still watching me, though, so I need to be careful. The necklace is mine and I don't want anyone taking it away from me. Actually, it's not mine, it's the girl's, but still I need to look after it for her. Maybe that way, she'll like me more when she wakes up.

  “The two adults were dead right away,” Pa continues. “I saw that as soon as I looked inside. I thought the girl was dead too, but then I checked and found she had a heartbeat. I pulled her out, and I thought she was gonna die right there, but somehow her heart kept beating. There was plenty of glass sticking out of her, so I pulled it out.” He pauses to scoop more beans into his mouth. Pa never talks with his mouth full, he's got good table manners like me, so he chews properly and swallows before he says anything else. “Then I put her back in the car so I could get the trailer, and then I hauled the whole thing back up here. You probably heard me driving the trailer out this morning.”

  “I heard,” Brother tells him. “I wondered where you were going with it.”

  “Well now you know,” Pa replies. “It was right at the bend in the road, where they crashed. Always been dangerous down there. Always. Lord knows what they were doing out this way, they were probably just lost, but they must've ignored all the signs I put up to warn people away. That's the problem. You can give people all the warnings in the world, but sometimes they just go sailing past.” He sighs. “I suppose I oughta maybe fix the gate across the road. That'd really stop them.” He turns to Brother. “You'll have to help me with that. We'll get started tomorrow.”

  While they start discussing how they'll fix the gate, I look down at the necklace again. It's really shiny, and I keep tilting it slightly, watching how the light catches on the edge of the moon shape. Even though I don't remember seeing anything like this before, I can't shake the feeling that I have seen something similar, maybe a long, long time ago. Pa always tells me that I might feel memories that I can't really explain, and he says I shouldn't be worried about that. Sometimes I worry a lot about how my thoughts work, but staring at the necklace makes me feel a lot better, and I'm starting to think that maybe I don't want to ever let it go.

  “Isn't that right, Enda?”

  Looking over at Pa, I realize that he just asked me something.

  “I said the pigs really had a fine day today,” he continues, frowning slightly as if he suspects something's wrong. “They're fine beasts, to be sure. Don't you think so?”

  I nod, panicking slightly. Setting the necklace on the table next to my bowl, I start scooping up more beans, hoping that I won't attract attention. After a couple of seconds, however, I remember that I was supposed to keep the necklace hidden under the table, so I reach out to grab it and -

  “What's this?” Pa asks, taking the necklace in his dirty hands and holding it up.

  I freeze, terrified in case he gets mad at me. Why couldn't I have just remembered to keep the necklace under the table? Sometimes I'm so stupid, it makes me want to cry.

  “Where'd you get it?” Pa continues, turning the necklace around. “Was the girl wearing it?”

  I look down at my bowl. My face feels hot with shame.

  “It's pretty,” he says after a moment. “Real pretty. Of course, you can't keep it, Enda. You know that, don't you?”

  “She can't have pretty things,” Brother says with a grin, “because she's not pretty herself.”

  “Keep your mouth shut,” Pa tells him firmly, before pausing as he continues to examine the necklace. “You do understand, Enda, I'm sure. This kind of thing... It's just not suitable for you.”

  I nod, while still looking at my bowl. There are tears in my eyes, but I don't want either of them to see.

  “I'll take care of it,” Pa continues, “and we won't mention it again. Now that's decided, let's all just carry on eating. Brother and I are gonna go sort out the gate to block the road tomorrow, Enda, so you'll be here alone. I'll be wanting you to muck out the pigs and make sure they've eaten everything from today before you give them their usual food. It's very important that nothing gets left behind.”

  I nod again, as tears trickle down the side of my nose and drip onto the table. I wanted that necklace so bad, and I can't believe I was so stupid and actually put it right on the table, where they could see it. I just forgot for a few seconds that I was supposed to hide it, and now it's been taken away from me. When the girl wakes up, she's going to hate me. I wish I was smarter.

  “It's been a strange day,” Pa says, sounding tired. “Enda, are you okay there?”

  I nod, while trying to sniff back tears.

  “You may excuse yourself, if you want to,” he adds. “It's okay.”

  I immediately get to my feet and keep my head bowed as I hurry to the door. I hear Brother complaining that I shouldn't be allowed up early, but I start running until I'm out in the hallway and then I make my way upstairs. By the time I get to my room, I'm sobbing more than ever and I slump down onto my bed. Holding my hand out, I try to imagine what it would be like if I still had the necklace, and after a moment I'm able to imagine it still hanging between my fingers, still sparkling in the light. Despite the tears, I manage to smile as I think about it, and then I realize that I know exactly where Pa will put it for safe-keeping.

  I know I'm not supposed to steal, but as I sit shivering on my bed, all I can think about is sneaking down later and taking the necklace back. After all, it's not like anyone would notice, not if I'm smart this time and keep it hidden. And then the girl will like me when she wakes up.

  Four

  Tapping the side of the syringe, I peer at the liquid but I don't see any bubbles. Still, I tap it a couple more times and then I squirt some of the liquid out, just like Pa did earlier, before I turn and stick the needle into the girl's arm. After pushing the plunger down, I take the needle out and then look at her calm, resting face.

  “I wonder what you're like,” I say out loud, even though I know she can't hear me. “I wonder if you'll like me.”

  ***

  The house is so quiet now, and dark too. Pa went to bed a little while ago and Brother's been in his room since after dinner. I'm supposed to be asleep, but I can't stop thinking about the necklace and I know I'd just end up staring at the bottom of my bed all night. So now I'm down in the front room, in the dark, staring at the box on the mantelpiece where Pa keeps all his little valuable things.

  He'll have put the necklace in there, I'm sure of it.

  “You shouldn't steal,” I whisper, before swallowing hard. There's no two ways about it, I know it's wrong to do what I'm about to do, and I know there's no use pretending to come up with some reason otherwise. At the same time, I want that necklace so much, and I doubt Pa will even remember about it after a few days. He never goes in that little box, not unless it's to put something new in there. Things just get put away and forgotten about, and it'd be an awful shame if that necklace just sat in darkness for the rest of its life, never being looked at or touched.

  That's not where it belongs.

  After glancing over my shoulder to make sure that no-one's around, I start tip-toeing toward the mantelpiece. This is the first time in my life that I've directly disobeyed Pa, but I just can't help myself. It's like the necklace is calling to me, and I can't get it out of my head. By the time I reach the mantelpiece and reach up to take the box down, I can even feel my heart thumping in my chest. Maybe Pa will find out, maybe he'll end up beating m
e, but I think that's a risk I'm willing to take.

  As soon as I open the box, I see the necklace in there and I feel happy again. I reach in and pick it up, keen to get back to my room, but a moment later I spot something else resting in the box. There's lots of stuff in there, but most of it just looks like junk. Reaching in again, however, I slowly take out a small silver locket. I've never seen this locket before, at least I don't think I have, but at the same time it seems familiar. I should put it back immediately, but suddenly the locket seems as important as the necklace, even if that's for different reasons. I feel like I have to keep hold of the locket, as if I'll actually get sick if I put it down.

  I try to get the locket open, but I don't quite understand how it works. After a moment, I see that there are little letters engraved on the locket's other side. I hold it close and squint, but it takes a few seconds before I'm able to make out the letters:

  For D with love forever from A. 12th January 2002.

  I don't know what most of that means. I don't know what D is, or A, and I've never heard anyone mention that date before. I think maybe the letters are initials, but they don't match anyone who lives here. I wish I could just ask Pa straight out about these things, but he's made it very clear that he doesn't like talking about the past. Not my past, not his past, not Brother's past, not the farm's past. I should just put the locket back and forget about it, and maybe the necklace too, but instead I slip them both into my pinny pocket before setting the box back on the mantelpiece.

  If I'm lucky, Pa will never ever think to look for them again. He'll just keep putting things into the box the way he always does, without actually looking inside properly.

  Suddenly I hear a creaking sound from the hallway. Before I even turn and look, I know that someone's coming down the stairs. I tiptoe across the front room and hide, and a moment later I hear the sound of Brother breathing through his bunged-up nose. Fortunately, he doesn't come in here. I assume at first that he's going to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but then I hear the door to the garage starting to creak open and I realize that he's actually going through to where the girl is being kept. He has no business in there, and I feel a flash of anger at the thought that he might interfere with my jobs. After all, Pa told me to keep the girl clean and check on her.

  Not him.

  Me.

  I wait for a few minutes, before slipping out into the hallway. Part of me wants to just go to bed and worry about things in the morning, but as I stand in silence I can't help wondering what Brother is doing in there with the girl. I've known him long enough to understand that he's not a very nice person, especially since that time I caught him with the pigs, and I feel a slow sense of nausea creeping through my gut. Even though I hate the idea, I start creeping forward through the darkness, while telling myself that I just need to check Brother's not doing anything too bad. I can go to bed after that, but Pa wanted me to look after the girl and I suppose part of that involves keeping Brother away.

  When I reach the door, I stop and listen for a moment. I can't hear anything from the other side, but if Brother's sneaking about, he's probably trying very hard to be quiet. I reach out and take hold of the handle, but I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I'm probably overreacting, and that Brother is probably just looking for something he's lost. I'll just tell him I heard a noise and came to check that the girl hadn't woken up, and I'm sure he'll believe me. Slowly, I start pushing the door open, while peering into the darkened room.

  I freeze as soon as I see that Brother has climbed onto the table. He has his pants down, revealing the horribleness between his legs, and he's grunting with anticipation as he tries to pull the girl's torn clothes away.

  “Stop!” I shout.

  Running forward, I grab his arm and pull him back, sending him crashing down onto the floor.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he hisses, scrambling to get to his feet.

  I push him away, sending him clattering against the wall. I never knew I was strong enough to do that.

  “You'll wake Pa!” he grunts, struggling to pull his pants up.

  Turning to the girl, I start rearranging her clothes so that she's decent again. My hands are trembling, and a moment later I hear footsteps upstairs.

  “He's coming!” Brother hisses. “You've done it now, you little idiot! I wasn't doing anything wrong! Now Pa's gonna be mad at you!”

  I turn to him and see that he's got his pants up now.

  “What's going on down there?” Pa calls out, as he hurries down the stairs. “What are you two doing?”

  “I caught her in here!” Brother shouts, hurrying to the door. “She was doing bad things to the girl! She was touching her and stuff!”

  Pa steps into the room and then stops. Looking down at my hands, I see that they're still resting on the girl's legs, from where I was sorting her out a moment ago. Turning back to Pa, I shake my head.

  “She's disgusting!” Brother sneers, staring at me with an expression of pure hatred. “She's no better than an animal! I won't even tell you what she was doing, Pa, but it was the foulest thing ever! You oughta lock her up for the night, or she'll just come down and try it again!”

  “Is this true?” Pa asks, staring at me.

  I shake my head again.

  He pauses, and I can see from the anger in his eyes that he's going to do something. Pa's an old man, but that doesn't mean he isn't strong, and I've seen what happens when he really lets his fury show. I still have scars from beatings I earned in the past, but he's always fair. He only beats me when I really, really deserve it.

  Suddenly he turns and whacks Brother across the face, before grabbing him by the collar and shoving him out into the hallway.

  “Why are you hitting me?” Brother wails. “I didn't do anything wrong!”

  “Enda's not like that,” Pa mutters, storming back into the room and coming over to look at the girl, as if he wants to make sure she's okay. After a moment, he glances at me. “I don't believe for one second that you'd be doing anything foul, Enda. Let me guess, you came in here and caught Brother up to something, didn't you?”

  I pause, not wanting to snitch, before realizing that I need to save myself from a beating. Finally I nod, before turning back to the girl and finishing the job of rearranging her clothes. I should get her into something new tomorrow, but for now at least I can make her decent. Whenever Pa's angry, I just try to work really hard so that he'll be happy again.

  “You did a good job of cleaning her,” he tells me. “You'd better lock the door into here from now on, and make sure Brother can't get the key. Do you understand?”

  I nod.

  He sighs, before turning and heading back out into the hallway.

  “Come here, boy!” he shouts. “You've got a lesson that needs learning!”

  As I hear Brother running upstairs and Pa following him, I turn and look back at the girl. She looks so peaceful, and I hope she doesn't have any idea what was just happening all around her. Making my way around the table, I feel like I should say something to her, but I know that'd be dumb and I don't wanna be dumb anymore. I just hope Brother leaves her alone from now on. He will, so long as I keep her safely locked in here, and so long as he can't get the key. Just like Pa said.

  “It's okay,” I whisper. “I took your necklace and I'm keeping it safe. I'll give it back to you when you wake up.”

  With that, I head to the door. This time, I take the key from the shelf and make sure to lock the door, and then I head upstairs. I can hear Pa beating Brother hard in one of the other rooms, but I don't really care about that. In a funny way, Brother sounds like one of the pigs as he squeals and hollers. It's at times like this that I understand why Pa calls us all his perfect little monsters. With the beating still going on nearby, I slip into my bedroom and pull the door shut, while reaching into my pocket to make sure that I still have the necklace and the locket.

  Holding them tight in my hand, I get down onto the floor
and crawl under my bed, and I ignore Brother's screams as I examine my little prizes. They're so beautiful, and I can't help smiling.

  Five

  Spraying the hose against the floor, I watch as pig muck runs down into the drain. I've spent the past couple of hours since sunrise cleaning the pen, and I think I've done a pretty good job. Mucking out the pigs isn't my favorite thing to do, but I've been at it for long enough to get real clever, and I know Pa'll be proud of me.

  Hearing the front door, I turn just in time to see Pa stepping out with a shovel over his shoulder. He's not wearing a shirt this morning, probably in anticipation of all the work he'll be doing at the road, and it's weird to see how his saggy skin hangs down over his bones. Sometimes I forget that Pa's as old as he is, but he still seems so strong.

  A moment later Brother comes limping out. He's not wearing a shirt either, and I'm shocked to see that he's absolutely covered in bruises all up and down his chest, and on his face too. I heard Pa beating him well into the night, but I've never actually seen so much damage all in one go. Glancing at me briefly, Brother gives me a look that makes me think he blames me for what happened, but I don't care about that. It's not my fault he tried to do that to the girl, and he should have known what was coming. Pa beat him when he caught him with the pigs, after all.

  “We'll be down at the road,” Pa calls over to me, as he starts loading equipment into the truck. “Go about your chores, Enda.”

  I nod. It makes me feel good to obey Pa. Turning to look at the drain, I see that most of the muck has gone away now, although a moment later I hear footsteps coming closer. Before I get a chance to react, there's a clattering noise and I turn to see that Brother has kicked the slop bucket over, sending dirty, muck-filled water all over the ground.

  “Hey!” I shout.

  “Looks like you're not done yet,” he sneers, before turning and limping back toward the truck, where Pa already has the engine running.