Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1)

by Jones,Lesley

  “You doing okay, bub?” he asked me quietly.

  I nodded my head. “I’m very okay.” My belly squirming at his term of endearment.

  He studied me carefully, as if searching for evidence to the contrary.

  “I didn’t hurt you at all?”

  I shook my head this time.

  “Not even a little. I feel . . .” I tried to think of words that would adequately describe exactly what I felt. How to explain the sensations I was experiencing by allowing him inside my body? “It felt good,” was all I managed.

  “Good?” he questioned and smiled at me, making his eyes crinkle and causing my heart to attempt fracturing my sternum.

  “Very good,” I replied with a smile of my own. I instantly felt him react inside me, my own muscles involuntarily responded.

  “Good enough to make you wanna do it again?” My cheeks heated, and I felt embarrassed at my body’s reaction. I’d just experienced my first orgasm with a man, and I most definitely wanted to do it again. Was that normal or a little whorish?

  “Hey.” Liam brushed his nose along the length of mine. “Stop overthinking. I want you again. I’m still hard, but I don’t wanna make your sore. This is new for both of us, but especially for you. I want you to enjoy it, I want you to want me as much as I want you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way.”

  He rained small kisses down from one corner of my lips to the other.

  “I’m gonna pull out and get rid of this condom. I put the hot water on earlier, and I have towels, you wanna come shower with me?”

  I nodded my head just as my belly growled loudly, his responded at almost the exact same moment, causing us both to let out a small laugh. We’d eaten breakfast that morning but it was by then already dark outside and obviously late.

  “How about we shower, I feed you, and then we see how we feel?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Ah she speaks, and apparently she knows more words than, ‘Oh, Liam’.” My cheeks heated again, and I closed my eyes with embarrassment. His gentle laughter stopped and his fingertips brushed softly over my chest, throat, and face.

  “You, Sarah Carter, are the sexiest thing when you cum. Watching your face, hearing you call my name, feeling your body convulse and thrum underneath and around me is something I’ll permanently commit to memory.”

  He let out a long breath, causing his chest and belly to move against me. The room was much warmer now than when we got here, and my skin felt sticky where it was pressed against his.

  “I need to pull out of you now and get rid of this condom because I’m getting hard and if I come like I did just now, there will be spillage.”

  I winced slightly as we separated. I felt a little chaffed but nothing more. I watched as he rose from the bed like a god and followed the exceptional sight of his retreating back and arse as he walked towards the en suit.

  “Stop looking at my arse,” he called out.

  “I can’t,” I called back, completely unapologetic.

  I rolled on to my side and pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. My skin was still buzzing from his touch. I felt alive. I’d never experienced such an intense level of feelings for a man. I wasn’t in love at that stage, at least I didn’t think I was, but I knew I was hurtling rapidly in that direction. Despite feeling anxious about it, I was happy.

  I listened to the sound of the toilet flush, a tap run, and then the shower being turned on. There was nothing extraordinary or exceptional about those sounds, but for me, they echoed with the sound of change.

  “The water’s hot, you gonna join me?” Liam stood in the space that led from the bedroom to the small en suit bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his hips. He had one arm raised so he could hold on to the archway separating the two rooms as the other raked through his hair. He wasn’t skinny, but he wasn’t big built either. He was tall and lean, the muscles in his arms and legs defined but not bulky. His stomach was flat and hard. It almost looked like it was sculpted as he stood there in all his almost naked glory before me. I swore I drew blood from the bottom lip I was biting, and it was a good thing I was already lying down with the speed that the room momentarily spun.

  My heart didn’t beat to its normal rhythm around him. It stuttered. It stopped. It sidestepped, and then it sped at such a pace I worried that it might break my ribs. I both hated and fucking loved that he could affect me like this. This was more than feeling alive. This was living. All I had to do was let go, stop watching from the sidelines like I had been, and enjoy it. I needed to accept that I might be my mother’s daughter, but I wasn’t her. I was me, my own person. A grown woman with wants, needs, and desires that were perfectly normal. I was a good human being. I wasn’t her. I would never be like her.

  I sat up and pulled the duvet with me.

  “I need to use the toilet.”

  “Yeah, it’s just through here.”

  I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head to the side, trying to convey in my expression that there was no way I was going to the toilet in front of him. He didn’t get it, he stood to the side, and gestured with his arm for me to step past him.

  I looked around for something to cover myself with and found the T-shirt he’d been wearing. I felt like a cliché from one of my nan’s romance novels as I pulled it over my head, but when I stood up it fell almost to my knees, which left me feeling a lot less sexy than the women in the books probably did.

  “Wait here until I’m done,” I warned him as I passed. His response was to grab me by my wrist and pull me back towards him. He kissed from the curve of my neck, around to my throat, my chin, and finally my mouth.

  “You smell like me. I like it,” he said before kissing my mouth. It started soft, wet, and gentle but quickly escalated. His hands slid under the T-shirt and over my bare arse, and then he pulled me against him, grinding his hips into me. He was hard. I was naked beneath the T-shirt and having him grind against me felt so fucking good. My hands made their way across his chest, over his shoulders, and up to the back of his neck.

  His tongue was in my mouth, his hands all over my body. It felt good, but I wanted more.

  “I want you inside me again.”

  “I thought you wanted the toilet?”

  “That too.”

  He rested his forehead against mine.

  “Go do what you gotta do, I’ll join you in a minute.”

  I looked down between us, his obvious erection was tenting the towel and my stomach did funny things when I thought about the fact that he’d been inside me, how good it had felt, and that very soon, we would do it all again.

  “Go, Sarah, before I throw you on that bed and do what we’re both desperate for.”

  I moved away quickly, used the toilet, washed my hands, and stepped under the shower. I didn’t have a hair tie with me so my hair got wet. Rather than leave it a damp mess, I tilted my head back and let the full force of the water hit me. I drew in a deep breath and tried to compose my thoughts. I didn’t get very far before his mouth was on my nipple and they became scattered.

  He licked through my cleavage, up my throat and then dragged his teeth over my chin, all while his fingers tugged at each of my nipples. I opened my eyes and looked straight into his.

  “I brought your shower gel, face cream, make-up wipe thingos, and your deodorant over, but I didn’t bring your shampoo, sorry.” He spoke into my neck as he licked and sucked water from my skin. The water was hot, the room steamy, and I wasn’t sure if it was that or just him that was making me feel light-headed.

  “It doesn’t matter, I’ll just wet it, it doesn’t need washing.”

  I watched as he bent and grabbed my shower gel before squeezing some into his hand.

  “I didn’t get any washcloths either, I’ll just have to use my hands.”

  I remained silent, simply because the only thing I was gonna manage was a moan or a sigh.

  “Lift your arms.”

  I di
d as he asked and watched as he rubbed the shower gel over my body and into my skin. He washed my arm pits, my shoulders, and down my arms. He washed my chest and my tits and carried on down my belly before dropping to his knees in front of me. He washed my feet and calves before moving up to my thighs, first the outside and then the inside.

  He bent one of his legs and moved it out to the side, tapped my ankle and lifted it to rest my foot on his knee. His soapy hand stroked up and down first one thigh and then the other. Each time he stopped short of where I really wanted him to go, then he shocked the shit out of me by leaning forward and kissing me right below my belly button. He held on to my hips as his mouth kissed and sucked its way from one hip bone to the other. He leaned back and looked up at me. I had to hold on to his shoulders to stop myself from swaying.

  I wrenched my gaze from his and instead followed the path his fingers took along the inside of my thigh. This time they didn’t stop. This time, his middle finger circled my clit, gently at first, then with a little more force. I remained still, fighting the desperate urge I had to move my hips in a rhythm that matched his finger.

  Pleasure jolted through me as he moved his finger from my clit and pushed it inside my body. I lost control when he slid in a second, and my hips bucked forward. Desire coiled in my belly, hot water pelted my back and shoulders, and I felt panicked when he curled his fingers inside me and a tsunami of sensation rushed from my toes to my scalp.

  “Liam,” I whispered. “Oh fuck, I can’t. I don’t know wha . . .” I couldn’t concentrate enough to arrange any more words into anything intelligible. My eyes met his, and he must’ve read the panic in them as he looked up at me.

  “I know, pretty girl. I know. It’s okay. That’s your G spot. Is it too much, or does it feel good?”

  I blinked rapidly a few times. G spot, so that was what all the fuss was about. Fuck me, now I got it.

  “It’s, no. It’s nice but too much. It makes me swear.”

  He laughed. On his knees, naked him in front of a naked me, and with two of his fingers still buried inside me, he laughed.

  “Your G spot makes you swear?”

  I nodded. He did that thing with his fingers again.

  “Oh. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  It was more of a chuckle the next time, then he leaned in and kissed my lower belly.

  “Hey, Sarah’s G spot, meet Sarah, can you stop making her swear? She’s a good girl and doesn’t say bad words. Sarah . . .”

  He looked back up at me.

  “Meet your G spot.” He curled his fingers again, but this time he didn’t stop. My head tilted back, and I was pretty sure my eyes rolled to the back of my head as my hips synchronised their movements with his strokes.

  “Liam. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.”

  “You’re welcome, baby. You are so very welcome.”

  He swiped his tongue over my clit, and I didn’t know what hit me. I came so hard my legs buckled. He pulled me down to straddle his lap. I tried to back away from him, the sensation, the emotions. It was overload, but he held on to my hips and kept me there.

  I felt out of control. I shook my head, over and over again.

  “I can’t. It’s too much. It’s too much. I can’t do this.” But all the while I rode his fingers. I rocked my hips against his hand and against his knee and still it didn’t stop. I came and came. My whole body shuddered, and I swore I saw the entire universe, not just a few stars.

  I slumped forward and rested my forehead on his shoulder. I sat limp in his arms, boneless as he moved from his knees and sat on the floor beneath the shower. He manoeuvred me so I sat across his lap and turned my body into his.

  “That was the most beautifully erotic thing I have ever witnessed,” he said into my ear. His breath was hot, creating a delicious contrast to the now cooling water pelting our bodies.

  “I just come, Sarah. Without being touched, I just come.”

  I heard what he was saying, I simply couldn’t respond. I had no words, no bones, and definitely no sense.

  We sat quietly for a few minutes. He stroked his fingers up and down my thigh and my spine, and I finally came down from whatever high he’d sent me spiralling to. The water began to run cold, and small shivers raced through me.

  “Let’s get you out of here. Can you stand?” I nodded. It was all I had.

  He stood, taking me with him. My legs were shaky, but he held me up. I kept my eyes to the floor as he wrapped me in a huge white towel and steered me towards the bed before sitting me down on it.

  He knelt in front of me and spoke.

  “You doing okay, bub?” He tucked my dripping wet hair behind my ears and brushed his fingertips over my face. I nodded my head.

  “I just feel drained,” I said quietly.

  “Yeah, that was a little intense.”

  “A little?”

  He shrugged his shoulder and gave me his full-on crinkle eyed smile.

  “Ok then, a lottle.”

  “A lottle. Is that New South Austrian speak?”

  “It is and I aim to have you fluent in it before the year is out.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  “I bet.”

  ***

  We dried ourselves off. I found a comb and a hair tie in my bag, rubbed face cream on my face, and pulled Liam’s T-shirt back over my head. He wore his boxers and his chunky cardigan. We ordered pizza from a number he had stored on his phone, luckily it was the place my brother used and was the best in town. I drank wine from a mug and Liam drank beer straight from the bottle as we sat on his bed and ate.

  “You know I have a perfectly good sofa and a television just across the road, don’t you? My place is empty. We wouldn’t be disturbed.”

  I watched him as he sucked pizza topping from his thumb, my internal muscles clenched so tightly that I had to fight not to roll my eyes at my very predictable self.

  “Yeah, but that’s just it. Over the road is your place, this is ours.”

  His reply caused my heart to skip a beat and then pick up four.

  “Ours,” I said it aloud, trying it on my tongue. I’d never had anything that was “ours” with a man before.

  “Yeah, ours.”

  “I’ve never done the ‘ours’ thing before, have you?”

  He visibly flinched and then looked away. The mouthful of pizza I’d just swallowed lodged like cardboard in my throat. I took a gulp of my wine to help force it down, where it then crashed and sat like a brick in my stomach.

  Despite him not looking at me, I never took my eyes from his face. He threw the slice of pizza he’d been eating back into the box. He closed the lid and lent over the side of the bed to place it on the floor, retrieving his beer as he sat back up. He took a swig, before pushing himself back to lean against the headboard.

  I watched a nerve tick in his jaw as he set the bottle down but didn’t look at me. My skin prickled. I had no clue if I was feeling hot, cold or numb.

  “I have actually, yeah.” His eyes finally found mine as he spoke. “C’mere, I wanna talk to ya.” He tapped his legs, and I moved to straddle them, trying my hardest to ignore the acid boiling in my belly.

  I sipped my wine, he cleared his throat.

  “I was actually married at one time.”

  Married.

  Was.

  My heart switched from a comfortable trot to a canter. He cleared his throat again, looked around the room and then looked back at me.

  “It didn’t work out. It should never really have happened in the first place if I’m honest. It lasted a little over two years, but it was bad. From the very beginning, it was bad.”

  I wanted to ask why. I wanted to ask what was bad. I wanted to ask around seven hundred and ninety-four questions, but I didn’t. I remained silent.

  “We both fucked around. Neither of us were faithful, but she, she erm . . .” He reached up and around to the back of his neck. “I never got caught. She, on the other hand, took someone back to our apartment in Sydney. I came hom
e from a meeting in Melbourne a day early, rather than go home to her, to our house in Perth where I thought she was waiting for me, I decided to have a night in Sydney on my own, or . . .” He trailed off again.

  My heart couldn’t decide if it wanted to maintain the canter or break out into a full on gallop.

  “Or maybe find some company. I walked into the apartment and she was there, fucking a business colleague of mine. I left. That was two years ago.”

  And? There had to be more. And then what?

  “You divorced her?”

  “We’ve been separated since then. There were business interests that . . .”

  White noise rushed through my ears, escaping through my pores and bouncing off my skin.

  No. No. No. No. No.

  “You’re still married?”

  “On paper yes, but I filed a month ago, I’m just waiting on the signed paperwork to be returned.”

  My heart. My heart. It skipped the gallop, threw its rider, bucked off the saddle, broke free from its reins, and bolted. The pain this pace caused in my chest took my breath away.

  Married.

  He is married.

  And I’m just like her.

  “You’re married? You have a wife?”

  She tried to lift herself up and out of my lap. I gripped her hips and kept her in place.

  “No. Let me go.” She struggled as I held on to her.

  “Sit still, le’me explain, Sarah.”

  I wasn’t letting her go. Not now. Not ever. Her shoulders slumped, and she stopped struggling. I kept my palms splayed over each of her hips, brushing my thumbs gently over her soft skin. I did it to calm myself, as well as her.

  “We separated two years ago, but our businesses were merged. My family owns a development company, hers owns land. Hers own mines that need engineers, we have a recruitment agency.”

  I watched her wide eyes search my face and her chest rise and fall with the deep breaths she was taking.

  “It was business. The business side of things will make a divorce complicated, and I put it off. It was wrong.”