‘Your parents?’
She nodded.
‘Did you ask?’
‘They wouldn’t care.’ Janet shook her head.
‘But didn’t your mother just say—’
‘Take it easy.’ Janet finished my sentence. ‘She didn’t say I couldn’t have a few.’
‘Well, can you take it a little slower this time?’
The bottle was empty within half an hour and Janet flirted with every boy she came face to face with. I followed Marcy around while she was being the responsible hostess and not consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Marcy was a year older than us. I wondered why she still danced when she looked more like a donkey than a dancer.
‘What do you like to do other than dance?’ Marcy twisted a dark ringlet of hair around her finger.
I told her the usual—running, hanging out and the odd bit of swimming.
‘Hey, I’m in the running club. Why don’t you join us?’
‘Maybe,’ I said, but I wasn’t ready to commit. I ran to escape what was happening in life. If I joined a club, I might have to interact while running and that wouldn’t allow for mind-blowing peace and quiet. Marcy was refreshing. I liked her. She was different to the person I thought she’d be. I’d expected her to get drunk at her party. But she didn’t.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Janet smacking a kiss on one of her flirting objects. I was about to interrupt and introduce myself but she pulled away and rushed to the bathroom. For the next two hours, I played nurse Tabbie while she purged everything possible out of her body.
Sensible me was kicking myself for coming.
‘This is the last time you drag me to a party.’ I knew she wouldn’t remember anything I said. My speech about her being completely vulnerable while in a drunken state went in one ear and out the other. But part of me was glad to be there. She needed someone to watch out for her.
CHAPTER 7
The full impact of Stephanie leaving continued to strike me down like I was on a desert island. Empty and alone. I wanted my best friend back. She never used to be too busy to talk to me, but now, time stretched like an eternity before she returned my phone calls.
‘Tabbie, I’m sure Monica was right,’ Stephanie blurted through the phone.
‘About Jason?’
‘Yeah. And the dare.’
‘So forget him.’ Yeah, move on. Get a life that doesn’t involve a boyfriend. Live like the rest of us.
‘But I didn’t want Monica to be right.’
‘If she was right, then Jason isn’t worth it.’ Sorry, I said to myself after hanging up. She was hurting. My best friend, the ridiculously beautiful and nearly perfect one, seemed to be slipping into depression.
The mornings began to get the shiver factor with midyear school break just around the corner. Every time Steph and I spoke on the phone a nervous sweat clung to my armpits. I was the worst best friend. Sure, I missed her. Every time attention came my way, a niggling whisper reminded me that I was not Stephanie. If she was here, the attention would land on her.
‘So, Tabbie, got anything on this Friday night?’ Joey cart wheeled in front of me in his black full-length tights.
‘Why? What were you thinking?’ Perhaps a date with Joey wouldn’t be so bad. Well, it would be pretty bad, but not the-end-of-the-world kind of bad. Then at least I could say I’d been on a date. No, I couldn’t do that to Suzie. She hadn’t said anything to me, but I had noticed the way she glanced at Joey.
‘Danny and I are going to hang out at a youth group thing.’
Danny? ‘What? Like at a church?’
‘Yeah, why don’t you join us?’
‘Who else is going?’
‘Don’t know. I haven’t been before but Danny goes all the time. Says it’s heaps of fun.’ He pulled his left leg up to his face, proving his ridiculous flexibility.
‘Can I bring Suzie or Janet?’
‘Guess so.’
So maybe it wasn’t a date. But at least I had somewhere to go on a Friday night instead of sitting at home. Mum would be pleased. She’d given up trying to get the family to go to the old church around the corner. Dad wasn’t interested and Peter and I sided with him.
‘Hey.’ Janet rang Friday afternoon. ‘Don’t think I’ll get there tonight.’
‘But it’ll be fun.’
‘Yeah, well, I hope you and Suze have a good time. I’m not up to it. See you on Monday.’
‘But Janet—’ She’d already hung up. Thankfully Suzie was still coming. Her mum had let her out because it was a church thing.
A nervous tingle ran down my back as I walked into the church. It was strange, but in a good way. Great music bounced off the walls and the party-style lights were dim. We had to weave our way through the kids already there. Hot boys were everywhere, distracting me as we wandered around trying to find Danny and Joey.
‘Joey!’ Suzie saw him pulling a Coke from a vending machine.
‘Hi. Glad you made it. Kind of boring isn’t it? Think I’ll head off soon.’
‘Why? Where’s Danny?’ I asked as I looked over Joey’s shoulder.
‘It’s his gig. He’s playing in the band when they start.’
‘What band?’ Suzie beamed.
Yep, she definitely had a crush on Joey.
‘I got here early, and heard them warm up,’ Joey said, with a scoffing chuckle. ‘You’ll see what kind of band if you hang around. Danny would like that.’ Joey winked at me. I looked the other way.
What did I have to lose? Suzie and I made our way to a table with a bunch of girls painting their nails. They slid around and invited us to join in. It’d been a while since I’d done my nails. I picked out a metallic purple, then found some transfers and stuck glitter to each nail. Super impressed with myself, I helped Suzie with hers. Her fingers trembled in mine as I painted her nails.
‘Do you think Joey left?’ A small crease formed between Suzie’s eyes.
I looked up. ‘I can’t see him, but he might still be here somewhere.’
Suzie lifted her hand habitually to chew on her fingernails. I grabbed her wrist, pointing to the new pale pink polish, then slapped her hand back down on the table to add a top coat.
‘You really should stop biting your nails. They’ll grow if you give them a chance.’
The crowd moved like high tide, so we rode the wave and found some seats in the hall.
‘Thought I’d lost you.’ Joey slipped into the seat beside me.
‘Yeah, we wondered if you’d already gone.’ I turned to Suzie and again swiped her hand away from her mouth. ‘Don’t wreck the artwork!’
Suzie blushed. I clenched my teeth. I’d embarrassed her in front of her crush. So stupid of me.
The band started to play. Loud grunge-rock music drew a mass of kids to mosh in the front. The lights feathering down on Danny plucking his bass guitar made him look mega-cute. For a guy who supposedly couldn’t stop talking about me, he didn’t lock eyes with mine, nor did he serenade me. I suppose the spotlights in his eyes would have left him looking out towards a black sea. After they’d played a few songs, Danny left the stage and I lost him. Not that I was looking for him. Really. Joey waved a quick goodbye before he slipped away as the crowd began to sit.
A guy dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt spoke into a microphone about having a plan and purpose and that God loves everyone—no matter what we’d done or who we were. It kind of made me feel all warm and fuzzy, but it mustn’t have had the same effect on Suzie.
‘I’ve got to get out of here.’ She pulled her phone out of her bag and thumbed the keypad.
‘Why?’
‘I’ve sent Mum a text to say we’ll be outside in five minutes,’ she whispered.
‘Can we stay ’til this guy finishes?’
‘No, that guy is speaking crap. Mum will be waiting.’ She stood up and dragged me outside. Mrs Peters was already at the kerb when we got there.
‘I was about to come in to find you.’
> ‘Have you been waiting long?’ I climbed into the back of the car.
Suzie hung her head and slipped a fingernail between her teeth. What didn’t she like about what he was saying? I’d have to remember to ask her later.
‘Long enough to hear that wretched music. And they call this a church?’
‘But Suzie only just ...’ I stopped speaking when I realised Mrs Peters hadn’t come because Suzie was ready to leave. She’d arrived early to check it out.
Mrs Peters vowed she would never let her daughter return. Suzie’s jaw tensed.
I had always assumed they were a religious family. Both Suzie and her mother’s reaction confused me. Neither of them spoke when we stopped outside my house.
Suzie and Janet were good friends, but they weren’t as close as Stephanie. But when Stephanie was around, I came second to her in everything. I followed her choices and did what she wanted to do. It was okay. At the time I didn’t mind at all. Now that she wasn’t here, I would have to start making my own choices.
*~*~*~*
I rang Stephanie to make sure she’d booked her tickets to visit.
‘Mum and Dad don’t have the money, so I can’t come.’
‘But I thought you said it would be fine.’ Gosh, she had to visit. It’d been way too long.
‘I don’t have the money. Do you?’
‘Maybe. I’ll call you back.’
I ran into the kitchen and blurted out Stephanie’s predicament to Mum.
‘Hey, don’t panic. They paid for you to go and visit in Toowoomba. We can pay for her flight down.’
‘Really?’
Mum nodded.
I punched Stephanie’s number into the phone. ‘Steph, you can still come!’
‘How? Did you raid your piggy bank?’
‘Ha ha. Mum’s happy to pay for your flight.’
‘You mean I can get out of this freak-town for a couple of weeks?’
Hmm I was thinking one week, but ... ‘Yeah, for sure.’
If she was to accept the offer to come and live with us next year, now would be a good time to start getting used to being around her twenty-four seven. I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy in the black T-shirt. I would have loved to have heard the rest of what he had to say. And hear Danny play again. I hated to admit I wanted to watch him play his bass guitar again. Not that I was interested in him.
*~*~*~*
‘So I guess you don’t want to come to that youth group this week?’ I asked Suzie on the way to class.
‘Don’t even mention it again.’
‘Okay. But I liked it.’
Suzie squinted, shook her head and headed for the library.
While Suzie was preoccupied with researching an assignment, I talked Janet into coming with me next time. The mention of hot boys swayed her.
*~*~*~*
Walking in to the youth group for the second time felt like putting on a comfy pair of jeans. I smiled when the music began and jumped to the beat. Janet yawned as soon as the music stopped.
‘Humour me, would you?’ I turned to her, raising my eyebrows. ‘Suzie dragged me out early last week. Can we just stay ’til the end?’
‘I don’t get it.’
The room quietened as everyone sat.
‘What is there not to get?’ I whispered.
‘I just don’t know what all the hype is about.’ Janet didn’t lower her voice and leant forward in her chair with a hand on her hip. ‘The—’
‘Okay, let’s go then.’ It was time to get her out of there before she became overtly rude.
I ducked my head and tried to leave discreetly. Standing at the back of the room, I scanned one more time, hoping to grab one last glimpse of Danny for a little eye candy. But no.
‘Hey, are you off?’ A friendly voice grabbed my attention.
‘Yeah, Janet here is about to turn into sleeping beauty. I’d better get her home.’
The voice came from a girl in an oversized T-shirt with a mop of dark curls. She looked a couple of years older than us.
‘No worries. We’d love you to come again next week. And there’s a band coming in two weeks and it’ll be kind of like a party.’
‘Sounds great, I’d love to come.’
‘Fantastic, see you next week. Oh, I’m Shelly.’
‘My name is Tabbie. Is it okay if we bring another friend?’
‘Sure, bring anyone you like.’ Shelly sauntered back inside.
‘I’m not coming back,’ Janet said in a monotone don’t-mess-with-me-voice as she stomped down the stairs.
‘Really? You’re sure you don’t like it?’
‘Un-huh.’
‘Steph will be down. I thought we could bring her.’
‘Whatever. I’m not coming.’
It bothered me a little. Well, it bothered me a lot. I’d have to work on not letting it get to me so much. My two school friends wanted nothing to do with this new interest in my life. Perhaps I was only interested to perve on the cute boys like Danny, or perhaps there was more. But one thing was for sure, I hoped when Stephanie arrived for the holidays, she would enjoy the youth group as much as I did.
CHAPTER 8
‘I’m sick,’ Janet rang me on the way to school.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Gastro.’
‘Are you seriously faking a sickie on the last day of the term?’
‘No. I’ve gotta go. Argh! Sick again.’
‘But what about our performance—’ Janet hung up in my ear when I was about to say, “What about the Eisteddfod performance next week? What about rehearsals later today?” But she was sick. And this time, it seemed, it wasn’t from drinking too much.
Stephanie arrived that afternoon with a fake smile. Well, she kind of looked happy but I could see she still mourned the split-up with Jason. What if Steph could stand in for Janet, just for rehearsals? Maybe crazy. But maybe it would cheer her up—it was worth a try.
‘Come on, Steph. You’ll pick up the steps,’ I said to her as soon as I could bring it up.
‘I don’t dance anymore,’ she said.
‘You are a dancer.’
‘I was a dancer.’ Steph’s jaw tensed. ‘Past life.’
‘Okay, so you’re back, living in your past life for the holidays and we need someone to fill in for Janet. Just this once.’
‘You didn’t tell me this was on.’
‘Please?’
‘You didn’t tell me you had a performance coming up!’
‘Please, please, pretty please with sparkles and pink sugar on top. Just for rehearsal. Janet will be fine by next week.’ After all, I had tried to tell her, but she wasn’t ready to listen.
‘Geee, okay, just this once,’ Stephanie moaned.
I almost regretted asking her to stand in. She slid straight back into the limelight and even though I was lead, it was like I’d been pushed to the side. Stephanie soaked up the attention. Everyone loved having her back.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you were dancing lead? And what’s going on with Suzie? She barely said hello.’
‘Long story. I’ll fill you in later.’ There was a definite glimmer in Stephanie’s eyes. ‘You loved it didn’t you? Come on, admit it.’
‘Yeah, it was fun.’
‘You are a dancer. You have to get back into it.’
‘Yeah, maybe one day.’ Her eyes continued to sparkle. ‘Just not while I’m in Toowoomba.’
‘So are you coming back to Sydney?’
‘I haven’t asked yet.’
‘Seriously? Why not?’
‘Um, not sure.’ Stephanie bit her lip.
‘Jason?’ I knew before I asked.
‘Hmm, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll ask Mum and Dad after the holidays.’
‘But, you’ve had a whole term to ask.’
‘I promise, I’ll ask when I get back.’
I had to let it go. ‘I went to a youth group last week. I thought it could be fun to take you tonight
.’
‘Can we see a movie instead?’ Stephanie scrunched her nose up.
‘We can see a movie any time.’
‘Is it going to be full of religious mumbo-jumbo?’
‘No, it’s heaps of fun. You’ll love it.’
‘I really don’t want to.’ Stephanie looked through her eyelashes.
‘Just, once. I’ll never ask you to come again if you don’t like it.’
‘I really don’t want to go out tonight.’
‘But—’
‘Geees. You don’t take no very easily do you?’
‘Steph—’
‘Is it on next week? Can we go then? I just don’t want to go anywhere tonight.’
‘Sure.’ The return of Steph’s spunk changed my mind.
I raced upstairs to shower, change and cool off after dance rehearsals. I’d been looking forward to taking Stephanie to youth group. A twinge of regret hit me.
‘Sorry.’ Stephanie blinked her endearing cow eyes at me when I returned downstairs. ‘I really didn’t feel like going out tonight.’
‘That’s okay. I could do with an early night anyway.’
We set up a mattress on my floor, ate chocolate and giggled until my stomach churned from too much sugar. The next day I took Steph to the mall and she gushed over all the new season clothes she’d been missing out on. On Sunday we met Janet for lunch. I’d never noticed any spite between Steph and Janet before Stephanie moved away, but now they were at each other the whole time.
‘Got a boyfriend, huh?’ Janet clattered her nails on the table.
‘Not any more. You got one?’
‘No.’
‘Didn’t get the lead, huh?’ Stephanie smirked.
I glared at Steph. I couldn’t believe how nasty she was being.
‘I don’t care about dance.’ Janet turned away.
‘Me neither,’ Steph mumbled.
‘That’s garbage. You live to dance.’
‘Girls!’ Their sharp tone and the way they cut each other off had me edging to leave the café.
‘What?’ they said at the same time.
‘Okay, now I have your attention. Would you like to go to the movies this week?’
Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) Page 4