Steph nodded.
‘Mum and Dad are shipping me off to Granny’s again. Today.’ Janet curled her lip.
‘What about the Eisteddfod?’ I asked.
‘I’ll be there.’ Janet stood. ‘But I’d better get going. They’ll be waiting for me.’
‘So, that went well,’ Steph said as she watched Janet walk away.
‘Were you two always like that?’
‘Yeah, like peas in a pod.’
‘Why didn’t I notice ’til now?’
Stephanie laughed and shook her head.
I rang Suzie as we walked out of the cafe.
‘Stephanie’s down for the holidays. Can we pop over for a visit?’ I asked Mrs Peters.
‘No. It’s best you stay away.’ Mrs Peters hung up before I could speak again.
‘Have her parents gone over-the-top strict or what?’ Stephanie said while I was still looking at the phone.
‘I just don’t get them. How can pulling her away from all her friends help anything?’
Stephanie shrugged.
*~*~*~*
On Friday, Stephanie caught up with some girls I didn’t know very well. Happy to have a day to myself, I dusted off my trainers and took off on a long well-overdue run. I found myself under the dense canopy of the nature reserve. The earthy plant scent and the damp crisp air on my face filled me to my soul. I slowed down to walk across the uneven ground, letting the bulging roots massage the soles of my shoes.
On the way back, I took another path that led me to a playground. A weathered bench-seat gave my legs rest as the laughter, squabbles and giggles of children made me smile. When the dampness of dusk began to fall, I pulled my fleecy jumper on and slowly jogged home. Stephanie was sure to be finished visiting her other friends by now.
Peter’s laughter caught my ear before I reached the house. I’d hardly seen him since he’d hooked up with Phoebe. Mum and Dad had pressed him on the rule of no girlfriends in his room. Conveniently, Phoebe was flatting with friends and he enjoyed the freedom of her place. How I’d missed his deep rumbling laugh.
‘Pete!’ I gave him a sweaty hug, and went to step back but got caught in a web of tension strung across the room. ‘Did I interrupt something?’
‘No, of course not.’ Stephanie pouted as she twirled a sliver of hair in her fingers.
‘Anyway, I’ve got to get going.’ Pete’s neck tensed.
‘But, Pete, I haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘Sorry, sis, I’ve been busy. Let’s book in a time to hang out. Maybe next week.’
‘How about Sunday week?’ I wasn’t keen to share him with Stephanie.
‘It’s a date. See you then.’ He planted a kiss on my cheek, rubbed Stephanie’s shoulder and left.
‘Why did you get weird on us?’ Stephanie asked.
‘I don’t know. It just felt funny when I walked in. You weren’t flirting with my brother, were you?’
‘No way! Should we start getting ready for youth group?’
Stephanie ran upstairs, but not before I saw a slight blush rush to her cheeks.
CHAPTER 9
‘Who are you trying to impress?’ Stephanie eyed me up and down.
‘Just want to look nice.’ My black A-line party dress sat just right over my tights, sure to stand out in the crowd. I hoped.
‘You look fantastic in a pair of jeans, what’s with the frock?’
She made me laugh with her frock talk. But perhaps she was right, perhaps I had overdone it. ‘Do you want me to get changed?’
‘No, just tell me why you’re wearing a dress.’
‘It’s not their basic youth group tonight. They’re having a band and I guess it’ll be more like a concert.’
Stephanie’s shoulders tensed, her hand flung out to her side. ‘A concert? At church?’
‘It’s not like the churches you know.’ I opened my wardrobe. ‘It’s more modern.’
‘Okay, but it sounds strange to me. Jeans would be fine for a concert.’
‘You’re right, jeans would be fine.’ She had me there. What was I thinking? Who was I really trying to impress? I separated my clothes hanger by hanger, looking for something else to wear. ‘And if you’d rather wear jeans, go for it.’
‘Whatever.’ She glared at me.
‘Here what about this one.’ I passed her an emerald green knee-length dress.
‘I love the colour. You know, I haven’t bought a dress since I moved. I live in jeans in Toowoomba.’
‘The colour is you. Try it on.’
Her eyes sparkled. The dress reflected in her blue irises, making them appear teal. Stephanie looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She checked from every angle. Seriously, all her curves and bumps were in perfect proportion. I decided to give her the dress—there was no way I wanted to wear it again. She really was picture perfect.
‘Perfect!’
‘The length is a little odd.’ She kicked out one leg.
‘It looks great.’ So it wasn’t a mini or a maxi, but it was gorgeous on her.
‘You don’t think it’s too tight?’
‘You look stunning.’ I found a loose charcoal jacket that fell to the length of the dress. ‘Why don’t you keep them—the dress and the jacket.’
If I dared to wear it again after seeing her in it, I’d feel like a balloon. Stephanie pulled on some black tights and short boots and looked like a model.
‘I still can’t believe you are getting so dressed up for something at church.’
I didn’t want to tell her that it was the first time I’d dressed up to go there. Nor did I want to tell her I was looking forward to perving on Danny again. Not that I was interested in him.
We walked into something that looked like party central. Wow!
‘This music is pumping! Isn’t it great?’ I yelled into Steph’s ear so she could hear me.
She snuffed.
I scanned the crowd and saw some younger girls from school and a couple of familiar faces from the previous Friday nights I’d been there.
‘Glad you made it, Tabbie.’ Shelly appeared out of the crowd, her mass of curls piled into a knob on the top of her head.
‘Hi, Shelly. This is Steph.’
Steph smiled then looked to the floor, her fingers clinging to the sides of her dress. It was strange to see her act so awkward. My ridiculously beautiful and at times perfect friend acting like she wasn’t beautiful or perfect. It was bizarre.
Unlike Suzie and Janet, Stephanie didn’t ask to leave early. She stayed by my side until the band finished.
‘Well, that was all a bit weird,’ Stephanie said as we dropped into bed.
‘I enjoyed it.’
‘Humph. Goodnight.’
‘Night.’ I missed my old best friend. The girl lying on the mattress beside me was not the same as the girl who’d been my best friend for the last five years.
Saturday afternoon we had to be at the Eisteddfod an hour beforehand. Janet hadn’t arrived.
‘Suzie! I’ve missed you.’ I ran to hug her when she trudged in.
Suzie’s lip quivered. She turned away and warmed up by herself.
‘Suzie?’ I followed her.
‘Don’t want to talk.’ A tear tumbled off her eyelashes.
‘Can’t believe how lame my parents are.’ Janet bustled in, ten minutes before our performance time.
‘What happened this time?’ I asked.
‘Mum said Dad would pick me up and Dad said Mum would pick me up—neither showed, so Granny had to drive me down. She never drives in the city. We sat on forty kilometres an hour the whole way.’
‘You’d better warm up now that you’re here,’ Miss Skinner interrupted, pointing to her watch.
Ours was the first school out of eight to perform. Janet’s timing was out during the entire routine. I danced with precision but all I could think about was the fact that Janet’s parents hadn’t shown up, Suzie made it but ignored me and Stephanie kept shrinking into a shell of who she�
��d been.
Janet turned the wrong way. Her foot clipped my ankle. I stumbled with clenched teeth. A moment passed and I knew I had to concentrate on the beat to keep in time. When the music stopped, I couldn’t look Steph in the eye. It was our worst performance ever.
We didn’t win the competition. We didn’t even place in the top four.
Miss Skinner tried to be kind. ‘You’ll do much better next time,’ she said, but I could see disappointment etched in her face and body language.
For most of the week that followed, Stephanie and I were like kittens that playfully enjoyed each other’s company—but there were times when we acted like chooks, pecking at each other. Her spunky confidence was no longer a standout attribute. And I didn’t know how to give it back to her. It was like our roles had reversed. She used to be the major decision maker and now it was me calling the shots. Me, the one who was a little frumpy and not so pretty.
I turned the computer on while Steph took a shower. An email from Janet flashed into my inbox—a forwarded party invitation for Friday. Mum called us for dinner before I could read the finer details.
‘So, Peta’s having a party tomorrow night, hey?’ Stephanie’s face had a pink tinge. I couldn’t tell if it was from hot water or if she’d been crying. ‘Who’s Peta?’
‘Sara Clay’s cousin. I met her at a party Janet threw a couple of months ago.’
‘Sounds good. Are …’ she hesitated. ‘Are we going?’
‘I’d rather go to youth group.’
‘We went last week. Once is enough.’
She had a point—we’d made a deal. I had agreed not to ask her again. And I liked it when she stood up to me rather than letting me call all the shots.
There weren’t any parents or hired security in sight at Peta’s. Everyone held alcoholic drinks and a vodka bottle was being passed around. Each person took a swig before handing it on. I dry retched, imagining how much backwash was swirling around in the bottle. The subwoofer pumped out B-grade songs distorted in a muddle of decibels. I checked each new arrival for hot boys, but none caught my attention.
‘When did everyone start drinking?’ Stephanie asked.
‘Probably when they got here,’ I said.
‘I mean ...’ She gave me the over-the-top-rolling-of-eyes look, ‘no one drank before I left town, now everyone’s getting drunk.’
‘We’re not. I guess they’ll have a headache tomorrow and we won’t.’
‘Can we go, like really soon?’ Stephanie tugged on a stray hair. ‘It feels weird being here.’
‘Steph, relax. They’re just having a bit of fun.’ Gosh, youth group was weird, parties were weird. What did she do for fun these days?
‘Tabbie, they’re being stupid.’
‘It’s not like you to be so prudish.’
A bottle crashed on the pavement. Stephanie jumped. Several more bottles smashed as they played throw a bottle closest to the broken bottle.
‘When I went out with Jason, everyone was drinking, but no one was being stupid like this.’ Stephanie stood with her back against the wall. Her eyes darted back and forth.
‘Okay, okay. I’ll call Mum.’
She looked the other way. I glared into her back, burning holes with my angry eyes. I enjoyed getting out and having fun. Sure I didn’t want to look after anyone getting drunk, but being at a party was better than sitting at home. Stephanie seemed to want the opposite—the dull and quiet, mundane and boring.
‘Everything alright?’ Mum asked as I climbed into the front seat.
‘Stephanie’s stressed out.’
‘It wasn’t fun. Why hang around when it’s not worth it?’ Stephanie slammed the back door closed.
‘You didn’t even give it a chance, Steph.’ I faced the windscreen. ‘We could have gone inside. It might have been quieter in there.’
‘Tabbie,’ Mum said with a husky voice.
‘Well ...’ I spoke to Mum. ‘She wanted to leave as soon as we arrived.’
‘How about I make you both a hot chocolate when we get home?’ Mum offered.
‘No thanks. I’m going straight to bed.’ I was thankful to get out of the thick tension in the car and into fresh air as soon as Mum pulled up.
Stephanie must have accepted the hot chocolate offer, because she didn’t follow me upstairs. She was still my best friend and she would be going home tomorrow. I was sorry that I’d been crabby with her.
In the morning I found her outside sitting on our garden seat. She must have woken early to escape any more of my unpleasantries. If iron sharpened iron within friendships, I needed to stop cutting her down.
‘I can’t believe you’re going home already.’ I was ready for her to go, but sad she was leaving again.
‘I know,’ she said.
‘I still want you to move back here.’ I tried to convince myself as well as her.
‘Me too.’ A tear ballooned in her eye.
‘Make sure you talk to your parents, okay?’
‘Okay.’ She nodded.
‘Will you call Jason when you get back?’
She shook her head. ‘It’s been over three weeks since we last spoke.’
Soon after our conversation, Mum drove us to the airport. A trickle of tears escaped down my cheek as she walked into the tunnel to catch the plane. The little bit of nasty in me was glad to see her go. But seeing her misery turned something in my stomach that gave me a yearning to help her.
CHAPTER 10
‘Was it good seeing your best friend again?’ Peter pulled into a car park outside a local cafe.
‘Yes and no. She’s changed. She might come stay with us next year when you go to uni.’
‘Can’t wait to get rid of me, hey?’
‘I’d rather have you around more. But ...’ We ordered our drinks and found a seat. ‘Pete, why do you spend so much time at Phoebe’s?’
‘Is this going to be one of those conversations? Perhaps you need to talk to Mum and Dad about the birds and the bees.’
‘LOL,’ I said as I slid into a bench seat in the corner of the coffee shop. ‘But if they weren’t okay with Phoebe going into your room, why are they okay with you sleeping over?’
‘I’m eighteen, an adult.’ He nodded to the waitress as she delivered our drinks. ‘You’ll get to make your own choices soon enough.’
‘Do you think you’ll marry her?’ I sipped my hot chocolate.
‘I’m way too young to make any decisions like that.’
‘But you’re not too young to sleep together?’
‘Tabbie ...’ Peter stirred three sugar sachets into his cappuccino. ‘You’re pushing the brother–sister relationship—’
‘Why don’t you bring her round to home? I’ve only met her once.’
‘Don’t tell anyone I told you ... but she’s scared of Mum and Dad.’
‘Really?’ A giggle escaped my lips.
‘I know. Who’d be scared of our parents, hey?’
I wondered if Mum and Dad really were okay with Peter sleeping at Phoebe’s, or if they’d simply backed off because of his age.
During the next week, Stephanie rang. Apparently she had lava running through her blood and stars in her eyes. Jason had turned up and it was back on. It had barely been a week since she’d left. She had it bad.
‘You’re falling in love,’ I told her. ‘Careful, or you just might break your rule.’
‘Remind me why we made that rule.’
‘Are you saying you want to?’
‘I just felt this crazy urge to wrap myself around him and oh ...’
I held the phone loose against my ear as she raved. The way she was talking I expected the next call to be, “Guess what Tabbie ... we did it.”
‘You know Steph, God wants us to wait.’ Whoa, where did that come from?
‘What?’ She laughed.
‘Well, hadn’t we both agreed to wait?’
‘Whatever. Things change. I gotta go.’
I sat on my princess doona
thinking about it for a long time after I’d hung up. It was her decision to make. I’d meditated to clear my mind before, but this time as I closed my eyes I focused on God.
Is staying celibate the way you really want us to be? So God, if you are hearing me, could you watch out for Steph? She’s changed since she moved away and I don’t know what to do about it. Thanks.
I sat still and quiet, tracing Cinderella’s hair with my finger. The strangest sense of peace spread over me, like a freshly washed white sheet. I’d never felt anything like it before. I took my calmness downstairs to the lounge room.
‘Mum, can you tell me more about God?’
‘Sure love, what would you like to know?’ Mum words came out with enthusiasm.
‘Guess I’ll go somewhere else,’ Dad mumbled as he eased his way out of his recliner.
‘No, love, no need to leave the room. Tabbie and I can talk about it another time.’ She nodded to me and smiled.
Dad returned to his comfy chair. Our conversation had ended.
*~*~*~*
Since I had to stick with dancing for the rest of the year, I decided to enjoy it, even if it wasn’t my thing or my dream.
‘Hey, do you still hang out with Danny?’ I asked Joey at rehearsals.
‘No. He’s too busy with that church thing he goes to.’
‘What? The youth group?’
‘Yeah. Are you auditioning for the lead at the end of year concert?’ Joey looked me in the eye and then took two steps into a split leap. His compact physique enhanced his dancing.
‘Yeah, maybe.’
‘You’ll get it for sure,’ he said as moved towards me, leaning in a little too close.
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. No way. Stop flirting, short dork! It was the funniest attempt at flirting I’ve seen. Where was Janet when I wanted to share the hilarity with her? But I remembered Suzie’s crush. Making fun of Joey would be wrong, oh so wrong.
Janet stormed in while we were warming up, in an over-the-top bad mood.
‘What’s biting your knickers?’ I asked.
She stretched her left leg. ‘Dad just walked out.’
‘What? Left your mum?’
Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) Page 5