by Amy Marie
Sighing, I set my coffee down and watch Savannah twist and turn in her mommy’s arms. Walker’s words about falling hard and having kids from months before echo in my head.
I know I could have that with Trent. I just don’t know if I’m ready to risk it all. I’ve done that before.
“I don’t know, Er. You have to know that this is eerily similar to what happened in high school. I can’t risk losing you too.”
Placing Savannah on the floor with a few toys because she knows my floor is pristine, she enters the kitchen to make herself a cup.
Turning her body towards me she starts in on one of her famous “you are beautiful” speeches.
“You know what happened back then was juvenile bullshit. We’re all grown adults now and Trent is nothing like that asshole you dated.”
She looks up curiously, probably thinking about how I gave her that speech last year about Walker.
The juvenile asshole she is referring to is my ex-boyfriend, Will. He was the brother of my ex-best friend.
Sound familiar?
Will pursued me for all of fifteen minutes before I jumped into his bed. He was older and sexy. My best friend at the time, Sarah, dropped me as soon as it didn’t work out, which was about a week since he was a total loser and lousy in bed. I don’t think I came once.
Just like Erin’s family, Sarah’s was my own as well. I vacationed with them and had my own room in their house. Then all of the sudden I didn’t. I felt empty, abandoned.
I don’t understand sibling love except for what I feel for Erin, and I would never want to lose that.
After I kicked Erin out and many kisses to my little niece, the high wore off and I had to seriously consider what I was doing with Trent.
Not that I could take the sex back, and let’s face it, I’ve never had such amazing sex in my entire thirteen years since I lost my virginity. I just needed to be sure that I was ready to risk everything for something I wasn’t one hundred percent sure would work out, even if I desperately wanted it to. I love Erin’s family and they would be collateral damage if something went wrong.
Trent said he was okay with me trying to figure it out. He knows what he wants and maybe he could see it in my eyes that I was rethinking everything. I’m sure he doesn’t want me to second guess my decision. But if I based it on the kiss he left me with, I would be his.
My lady parts are still convulsing.
As I sit here contemplating between sulking or cleaning my cellphone rings.
I see “Sexy Jace” pop up, and I reluctantly slide the screen to answer.
“Hello.”
“Hey, sexy girl. What are you doing?” His deep, throaty voice vibrates through my phone.
“Thinking about cleaning up a bit, you?”
“I was calling to see if you wanted to go out tonight. Say seven o’clock?”
I hesitate. He specifically asked me not to sleep with Trent, but it’s not like he owns me. I can do whatever, and whoever, I want. But it’s not in me to lie so if I go out with him I’ll need to tell him.
“Yea. We should talk anyways. What did you have in mind?” I put the phone on speaker, placing it on the coffee table and wrap my wet hair into a tight bun hoping when it dried I would have some sexy curls.
“It’s a surprise.” I can feel the smirk over the phone and see his green eyes twinkling.
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Hmm. Well, then I guess when we get there I’ll have to make up for not telling you where we were going but I promise you’ll like it.”
“Okay. Give me the address and I’ll meet you there.” I attempt to find out the location of the date. I really hate surprises.
“Nope. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
~~
Hot. Fucking. Damn.
If a woman could cry over how hot a man is I would be a blubbering baby right now. Draped in a turquoise sundress and my hair down in waves I open the door and find Jace in a white collared button up t-shirt and khaki cargo shorts. The sleeves hug his biceps and the grin adorning his face has my panties wound up.
I decided to wear them today since I don’t want to tempt myself. I knew our physical connection could start a forest fire and despite my many partners I never sleep with different men in the same month. I’m on birth control but if a little “Savannah” happens I want to know for sure who the unfortunate man is that will have to deal with me when I do become pregnant.
“You look edible, Noelle. Damn.” He compliments while bringing his gaze up to my eyes.
“I was just thinking the same thing.” I smirk as our hands meet and the tingling sensation shoots through me.
He draws my body to his and places a sweet kiss on my temple before bringing me to his car and escorting me in.
What a gentleman?
“So, where are we off to?” I ask as he jumps into his car.
He chuckles reaching over for my hand. “You’ll see.”
The drive is familiar. I’ve taken this way a million times before but when he pulls onto his street, Trent’s street, dread takes over, and I realize how much I really do hate surprises.
I normally don’t ask dumb questions but I am hoping we’re just passing by. “Jace! Where are we going?”
“I wanted no distractions so I decided to make you dinner at my house.” He continues driving, not glancing my way.
Luckily, Trent’s truck isn’t in his driveway.
It’s one thing for Trent to tell me to see Jace and figure it out. It’s another to witness it.
The lights are dim when we walk in as if Jace set it up before he left. The dining room table looks like it’s from a romance novel. A clean white cloth draped over the small square table, beautiful plates and silverware atop it with two large candles on either side of a purple and blue flower centerpiece.
“It’s beautiful.” I compliment walking over and placing my hands on one of the chairs.
I briefly tense up as Jace walks up behind me placing both hands on each shoulder. His lips brush over my shoulder relaxing me. “You’re beautiful, Noelle.”
He reaches in front of me pulling the chair out, and I take a seat.
“No one has ever cooked for me before.” I inhale the rich aroma of marinara sauce.
“Well.” Embarrassment clouds his face. “Technically, I didn’t cook it as much as I paid someone to cook it.”
Laughing, I reach onto the table and grab the napkin to place it on my lap. “What is the delicious smell?”
“It’s from my favorite restaurant,” he calls out over his shoulder from the kitchen. “Chicken Parmesan from Romano’s.”
“Well, it smells amazing.” I inhale again as my stomach quietly growls.
“I promise it’s as good as it smells,” he says walking over and placing the plate in front of me.
His fingertips brush my hair aside. Running his nose along my temple he places a quick kiss there. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
When he pulls away my hair falls back into place I can’t hide my smile.
“Me too.”
The meal tastes heavenly and Jace has me laughing with all his old college stories. There are no awkward pauses and the way his body moves definitely has my attention. I can’t help but notice we’re in the getting to know each other phase. It’s refreshing to sit here and talk rather than jumping each other. It’s new territory, and I have two men wanting the position to explore it with me.
Jace’s light touches across the table have me tingling and almost forgetting about the news I have to break to him.
“What do you want to do next, baby?” The dishes clang around in the kitchen as he cleans up later in the evening.
“I think we should talk.”
“Okay.” The word long and drawn out, he places the dish he is holding down and slowly walks my way.
The edging of my dress seems to hold my attention as I don’t want to look up at him.
Since when do I not say what I need to say?
Since I realized that I have feelings for two men and no clue what to do with them.
“Go ahead. You can tell me.” He sits beside me and places a soft touch to my bare leg. I look up and his green eyes sparkle from the light of the ceiling fan but his smile falters when he sees what’s in mine.
Guilt.
“You slept with him,” he whispers but it fills my ears so loud I feel like I need to clamp my hands over them.
“Yes.”
His hand flies away from my thigh like it burned him, and he jumps up with fury written all over his face.
“I’m taking you home,” he states stalking over to the door throwing it open.
Collecting my things I follow him outside only to find Trent arriving home.
Perfect. Fucking. Timing.
I don’t look his way. I just climb into Jace’s car hoping to keep from witnessing another fight.
When he backs out I see Trent’s eyes looking shattered as he pulls a sleeping Jason out of the car.
“I may not know you all that well but I do know that he played you. He has the advantage and he used it,” Jace says stopping at a red light.
“Jace, I...”
“No, let me finish.” His head shakes from side to side like he is trying to erase a visual memory. “I don’t have the advantage here at all, Noelle, but I’m not going to sit here and try to catch up. You need to decide who you are going to give yourself to and then let me know. I’m not for playing games and I didn’t think you were either.”
The rest of the ride is silent and as I walk myself to the door I finally make a decision.
I won’t see either of them until I choose.
Every Wednesday Erin meets me for lunch while Walker gets one on one time with baby Savannah. They both have summers off being school teachers and it’s tough to spend quality girl time with her when Thunder Tongue is always around trying to impregnate her again. Today we met at a local diner since the burgers are fantastic.
I still have yet to speak with either man since Sunday. I’ve made no attempt, and I don’t blame them for not trying either.
“I just cannot believe you have two men fighting for you, Noelle. That’s hot,” Erin says biting into her sandwich. “Not that I’m surprised. If I was a guy I would do you.”
“Yea, I guess but how can you think that’s hot if one of them is your brother?”
“Well, the idea of it is hot and you said Jace has a twin so I’ll just pretend it’s two hot as hell Jace’s.” She shrugs.
“You have Walker! He is living and breathing bathroom material. If he weren’t like a brother to me I would be flicking myself off to his sexy as fuck face,” I say taking a bite of my mozzarella burger.
“Hey, Noe, you got some white stuff.” She laughs pointing to the side of my mouth, ignoring my comment about her fiancé.
“Mmmm. Tastes good,” I say licking my lips and winking at her. “I’m sorry. I can usually swallow it before it comes pouring out of my mouth.”
“Gross!” She shakes her head at me.
I love spending time with Erin. No matter what is going on in my life she can always put me in the best mood.
“Erin, why didn’t you tell me about Trent? I know he’s your brother but I’m your best friend. I thought hoes before bros thing?” I wave my hand around like it’s not a big deal but it kind of is.
“It wasn’t my place to tell, Noe. He made me promise and I knew it was only a matter of time before he told you. I know he has it bad though. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“Me either.” I sigh into my burger.
“What are you going to do? Date them both?” She asks.
I shake my head no. Since the dates I have tried to just give myself time to think. I just am so torn between what I want and what I know I should do.
Jace is a fresh start...a chance to build a relationship and not take it too seriously. And Trent is always on my mind now but he comes with a shit ton of baggage. Our relationship would be serious from the start.
“Uh, Noelle,” Erin says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. “Jace is here but I’m not sure you want to look.”
“Why?” I ask but a flashback of another time and another restaurant comes into play. That night my friend got hurt thinking another boyfriend of hers was cheating.
When my eyes follow hers, I see Jace is standing at the hostess desk with Valerie, who is laughing beside him rubbing his arm. He doesn’t see me yet, and I’m thankful. I just don’t want to face him right now since I still have no idea what to do. Plus, I have no interest in meeting Valerie either.
“Can you just wrap this up and meet me outside? I’m going to go to the bathroom before he sees me.” I stand up and grab my purse to head to the back. My heart is beating out of my chest. I feel like a damn teenager sneaking out of the house.
As I’m washing my hands the door flies open and Valerie steps into the bathroom not even taking a second look at me, leading me to believe she has no clue who I am.
I hate to admit it but she is really pretty. She has long blonde hair that’s pulled into a ponytail and a tight white tank top with “JV Fitness” on her massive, and probably fake, rack. Her outfit is paired with some black capri workout pants and gym shoes. I’m jealous of how fit she is. Makes you want to cut a bitch.
Walking out of the bathroom I peek around the corner to see where Jace is sitting. Not finding him I plan my escape but halfway down the hall I am instantly pulled backwards by strong hands. I can hear his breathing in my ear and his hard chiseled chest rising and falling against my back. He reaches down and grabs both my hips and whispers in my ear. “I can’t stay away from you, Noelle. I waited too long to tell you how I feel.”
“Trent?” I turn my head to the side, and he captures my mouth with his bringing his right hand up slightly so it’s touching the bare skin between my black dress pants and red floral shirt. I’m lost in him. This kiss is aggressive, and I love it. I try to pull my mouth from his, but he brings his left hand to my face desperate to continue claiming my lips. My body is on fire, and I long to be closer. I turn to face him not daring to break this kiss. His hands are now on my back and neck gripping my hair. I grab the pockets of his jeans and pull him flush against me. I feel how much he wants me and let a little sigh out as I remember how good that felt inside me. Someone clears their throat and he reluctantly pulls his lips away from mine but not his eyes.
“What the fuck, Erin? I told you to stay outside!” He growls and lifts his face to glare at her.
“Not. Erin.” A harsh tone pierces through my body and I quickly spin around.
It’s Jace.
In that very awkward moment Valerie chooses to walk out of the bathroom. Her face goes from confused to uncomfortable as she looks at Jace just staring at us in each other’s arms.
I push Trent’s hands off my waist and step away from him. “Jace, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see that.”
“Are you kidding me, Noelle? You couldn’t just tell me you chose him? I thought maybe you were taking some time but I can see you didn’t need it!” The venom in his voice cuts me.
“J. What’s going on?” Valerie asks getting as close to Jace as possible. Her eyes look up to him.
“Absolutely nothing, Val. Let’s go eat.” He puts his hand on the small of her back and walks away.
“Trent, how did you know I was here?” I gasp. “Did you know Jace was going to see that?”
“Okay, Noe. Relax. Erin told me where you were having lunch but Jace seeing that fucking kiss was just the icing on the cake.” He brings his hand up and plays with a piece of my hair. “I needed to see you. I’ve missed you.”
“Did you know he would see us, Trent?” I ask again smacking his hand away.
“I saw him walking towards this way when I pulled you back, yes. I’m sorry.” He smirks not looking the least bit sorry. “Okay, I’m not sorry.”
I push myself off the wall I didn’t realize I was
leaning on and leave Trent in the hallway.
“Noelle, wait just a minute!” He grabs my wrist and brings me around to face him.
“No. I need to go. What you did...it was hurtful and you used me. I need to go talk to Jace.”
“You don’t owe him anything, Noelle!” His roar echoes through the dark hallway.
“How would you feel if that was you? I know I’ve got us all in a fucking shit situation but this constant caveman bullshit has to stop. I’m hurting people, Trent, and I hate it!”
“Please don’t be mad.” He pleads pulling me closer.
“Oh, I’m not mad. I’m furious. Let. Me. Go!” He releases me, and I leave him to make my way over to Jace’s booth by the window. Valerie’s eyes go wide when she sees me coming and mumbles something to Jace.
“I can’t talk, Noelle. I’m having a business meeting.” He turns to look at Valerie completely brushing me off.
“I need to apologize. I feel like I owe you an explanation.” I look at Valerie. “Can I have a minute, please?”
She starts to stand up but Jace stops her. “No. Stay. If she has something to say you can hear it as well.” He turns to me again looking as though I’m going to back down. I guess he doesn’t know me that well.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know either of you were going to be here. I saw you walk in and just felt like I still needed a bit more time before I faced either one of you so I ran into the bathroom. When I came out he was there...kissing me. I’m sorry you had to see that. I know I’m not a saint. I’m human. I make mistakes. I swear this is the first time I’ve seen either one of you since this weekend. He isn’t the reason I didn’t call and he isn’t the reason I didn’t text. I just need some time to think all of this through.”
Jace gets up from the table so fast making both Valerie and I jump. Grabbing the back of my neck with both hands he drops his face to mine. It’s too fast for me to stop. His lips are on me.
My body reacts to his touch instantly. I feel the fire throughout my body.
This is different than Trent’s kiss but feels just as effective.
I’ve kissed two men in the same day again.
Maybe I really am the slutbag.