Raise the Curtain

by Kirby Hall

  Chapter 28

  As Bekah and Josh sat on either side of her at the table, Alexa breathed a sigh of relief. They’d eaten at the hospital with her every night and for once, they were getting along. She didn’t have the energy to play referee again. The first night had been spent in awkward silence and start-again-stop-again conversations. It was a far cry from the nights they’d spent huddled on each other’s couches watching scary movies and eating from the same bowl of popcorn. Still, it was nice of them to try, even if it was only for her benefit.

  “You know,” Bekah said around a mouthful of yellow cake with chocolate icing, “I don’t see why everyone says hospital food is so bad. This is awesome.”

  Alexa and Josh glanced at each other and then back at Bekah.

  “What?” She said, waving her fork around.

  “You’ve got a little something…” Josh pointed at the corner of her mouth.

  “Oops.” Bekah swiped at the smudge of icing on her face. “Better?”

  Josh nodded.

  Alexa watched the two of them and continued to pick at her salad. Although she’d doubted West when he told her about Josh’s feelings at first, she knew now how right he’d been and wondered again how she’d missed it. She’d seen Josh stealing more than a few glances at Bekah over the last few nights and had heard him offer to pick her up for tonight’s meet up.

  Her chest tightened and so did her grip on the fork in her hand. West. No matter how hard she worked to keep him out of her thoughts, he was never far away. Even distracted by everything going on with her dad, she felt his absence. The thought of possibly seeing West when she returned to school left a boulder of dread sitting on her chest. Being apart was torture, but at least at the hospital the possibility of seeing him wasn’t lurking around every corner. So what if she’d spent half the night scrolling through his online pictures, few as there were, that wasn’t the same as being near him.

  “Hi, guys.”

  At the sound of West’s mom’s voice, Alexa dropped her fork.

  “Last night, right?”

  Alexa fumbled to pick up her fork and set it on her tray. “Y-yes, ma’am.”

  “That’s good news.” She smiled and in her face Alexa saw a little bit of her son. Their eyes crinkled the same way in the corners. “Your dad seems to be recovering well.”

  Alexa nodded and wondered if West’s mom hated her dad or if she knew they’d broken up. The term seemed silly when it felt more like they’d been ripped apart, but then, she had no one to blame but herself.

  His mom paused to take a sip from her straw. “Josh, I’m looking forward to your first meet. I’m sure you guys are going to do great.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Howell.” Josh beamed at her. “Are you going to be there?”

  “Yes. I have the night off, so I can be there to cheer you boys on.” She turned to Alexa. “Let me know if you need anything before you leave, okay?”

  Alexa nodded once and watched his mom until she reached the elevators and disappeared inside one. Her mind tried to make sense of what they’d been saying. Why would West’s mom be interested in what was going on with the track team, unless . . . She vaguely remembered Bekah telling her West had tried out, but he’d never told her he made it. Her heart sank. She hadn’t given him the chance.

  “Alexa, are you okay?”

  “What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” She waved off her concern, but Bekah kept studying her face. Alexa turned a bright smile to Josh. “I’m sorry I forgot to ask you about the team. I guess I’ve been too caught up here.”

  “Jeez, don’t apologize,” he said. “But yeah, I made it.” He threw a weird look at Bekah who nodded. “Um, West made it too, but I guess you figured that out.”

  “That’s great,” Alexa said. “Really great.” She hoped her bright tone didn’t sound as fake to her friends as it did to her. It wasn’t as though she wasn’t happy for West. Of course she was, but . . .

  “He’s good. I mean Coach practically wets himself every time West runs. There’s no doubt he would’ve been on the team as a freshmen if he’d tried out.” Josh leaned his chair back on two legs and continued to ramble on. “He’s going to be the anchor for one of our relay teams and third leg in another. He’s also—”

  “We got it, Josh. Guy’s a rock star.” Bekah sent Josh a withering look, complete with narrowed eyes made all the more menacing by the heavy eyeliner she was wearing.

  Josh’s smile faded as he realized no one else at the table was smiling. “Wait, am I missing something? Do we not like West anymore? I mean I know your dad isn’t a fan, but . . .”

  Alexa sat up straighter as Bekah kicked Josh under the table.

  “Ouch. What was that for?”

  Bekah glared at him and then hit herself in the forehead with her palm. Alexa knew it as her friend’s look that said boys could be so thick sometimes.

  Alexa didn’t blame Josh for talking about West. As far as he’d known, they were good. Better than good. She knew she should’ve told him earlier in the week, but she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. And, she wasn’t sure she could get through the conversation without crying, but he deserved some sort of explanation.

  “We like West. He’s awesome,” she started. “It’s just that, well, he and I aren’t together anymore.” There, she’d said it. And now she felt sick. Saying it out loud to Bekah had been bad, but saying it again made it real. More so than not seeing him for a few days. She could pretend his absence was because she’d been spending every minute with her dad, but stating her relationship with him was over, yet again, rang with a finality she couldn’t deny.

  “Doesn’t that seem a bit harsh? Your dad would come around eventually, right?”

  Alexa pushed her plate away. “I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter now. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to ask West to wait for my dad to come around.”

  “But, Alexa, he’s crazy about you. Surely, you get that?”

  Every word he said was like being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. “Josh, please drop it. I’m telling you, this is for the best.”

  He fell back against his chair. “Wow, I’ve never known you to give up so easily.”

  “Look around you, Josh,” Alexa gestured around the cafeteria. “We are in the hospital because my dad had a heart attack. Did it occur to you that maybe I shouldn’t be adding more stress to my dad’s life?”

  Bekah’s gaze swung from Alexa to Josh and back again. “I think Josh is surprised is all.” Her tone was soft and she meant well, but it was too late.

  Alexa tensed and the dam that had been holding her emotions back, burst open ready to lay waste to all in her path. “Who are you to tell me how to handle my feelings, Josh?”

  He tilted his head to the side. His youthful face a mask of confusion.

  “You who’ve been hiding how you feel about Bekah for the last, what, nine months? Go ahead, tell her.” Josh’s eyes widened and Alexa’s mind was screaming at her to stop, but she couldn’t. “Tell her how you hate seeing her with Jay. Go on. You’re the expert.”

  Josh stood up so fast his chair tipped over behind him. “I’m sorry you’re in a bad place right now and your dad is here, but dammit, Alexa. How could you?” His voice was soft, but his teeth were clenched together.

  Alexa saw the hurt she’d put in his eyes a split second before he stormed off. She slumped back against her chair and hung her head. She hadn’t meant to out him in front of Bekah. But, he’d pushed too hard and the pain was too raw. She’d just wanted him to stop. Everyone was always pushing her.

  “Well, that was enlightening.”

  Alexa raised her eyes to Bekah whose expression looked as though she’d walked in on a particularly shocking scene, like seeing your grandmother naked for the first time. “Bekah, I’m sorry. I . . .”

  “D
on’t worry about it. I’m going to go find him though, okay?” Bekah got up slowly. “I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to say, but you know me. I’ll think of something.”

  Alexa nodded and pressed her fingers to her eyes. She wasn’t good for anyone anymore. Including her friends.

  ~ ~ ~

  She set the tray across her dad’s lap and watched him eye the scrambled egg-whites and wheat toast. “Do you need anything else?”

  “Some bacon would be nice.”

  “Very funny.” She turned and walked to the door. “I’ve got to get to school, but Maria is downstairs. Remember, no work for the rest of the week.”

  Her dad, who was propped up against a pile of large pillows and sporting navy pajamas, stared around his room. “What do people do who are at home all day?”

  Alexa thought for a second. “Watch soap operas?”

  Her dad’s face twisted like he smelled bad cheese.

  She laughed and pulled the door closed behind her. As she strode down the hall, she thanked God again that her dad was okay. Having him in the house put her world back on its rightful axis. The part she could salvage anyway.

  When she arrived at school, she looked at her reflection in the rearview mirror and took a deep breath. It would be fine. As long as she didn’t see West. Or Josh. Better yet, maybe she should’ve sat out one more day. A swirl of color reflected on the front of her car and she pulled her gaze away from the mirror. It was Megan.

  Her hair swung from side to side as her hips swayed in a perfect rhythm and Alexa was pretty sure it was intentional. She squeezed the steering wheel harder. Tryouts for the musical were the following week and there was no way that freshman was taking her spot. Not again. She slid out of the car, pulling her bag behind her and then shutting the door.

  She had to sort out her life so she could focus. She couldn’t have West, but she wasn’t going to lose performing, too. She couldn’t. She needed it like she needed air to breathe.

  She also needed to get Josh to forgive her. He’d never been mad at her before. As long as they weren’t counting the time when they were ten and she’d let the lizard they’d caught go. She started climbing the steps to the school, a new determination pulsing through her. He’d forgiven her then, he would forgive her now. Sure, he hadn’t returned any of her calls, but she could try harder. She would corner him and apologize for the hundredth time, or stand outside his house until he came out. He couldn’t avoid her forever.

  Turning onto the hall where her Government Studies class was, she spotted Josh leaning against a wall near the water fountains. Alexa straightened her shoulders and headed in his direction. He didn’t see her until she was beside him and when he did, he glared. At least she’d had the element of surprise on her side. If he’d seen her sooner, she was sure he would’ve taken off.

  “Hey,” she said.

  Josh said later to the other guy he was talking to and hooked his thumbs through his backpack straps before looking at her. “Come to spread my business around the hallway, too. As if you didn’t do a thorough enough job the other night.”

  “Josh, I feel terrible.”

  “Good.”

  Alexa took a deep breath. “I deserve that. I suck.” She struggled to find the right words. ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t seem like enough. “Josh, I shouldn’t have said what I did.” She rolled her eyes in frustration. “Obviously.” She tried again. “Listen, I’ve known for a while that you’re into Bekah and I kept my mouth shut. It’s your decision whether or not you wanted to tell her how you feel. I realize that, and I know I should’ve taken it to the grave.” She stepped toward him and tried to catch his gaze. “Please tell me what I can do to make you forgive me?”

  Josh kicked at a spot on the cream-colored wall where some old tape was stuck. When he continued not to look at her, Alexa’s insides twisted. She needed him to forgive her. She and Josh and Bekah were a unit. They’d been a little estranged during the past year, but beneath all the complications, they were still friends. Best friends. Or at least they were before she’d acted like a raging asshole. Bad mood or not, she never wanted to hurt Josh. She chewed on her lip while she waited. One minute ticked by. Then two.

  “I guess you could wash my car,” he said at last. “And buy my dinner when we go out for the next, I don’t know, year.” He turned his head to the side and peered at her.

  “Done.” She bumped her hip into his. “I really am sorry, Josh. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.” He wasn’t smiling at her, but his face softened.

  The bell rang over their heads. Josh gave the wall a final kick and they fell into step as they started walking towards their respective classes.

  “Have you talked to Bekah?”

  He sucked in a breath between his teeth. “Sort of, but it was more Bekah trying to get me not to be mad at you. We avoided talking about what you said.”

  “Sorry again.” Alexa dropped her gaze to where her ballet flats were padding against the worn tiles.

  Josh shook his head and shrugged. “Hey, you know what else you can do to make it up to me?”

  She dared a look at his face. “Anything.”

  “You can come to our first meet and cheer me on.”

  She slowed. “I don’t know.”

  “You said anything,” he reminded her in a sing-song voice.

  She grinned and sped back up. “You’re right. I’ll be there.” She wouldn’t lie to her dad anymore. If he asked, she’d have to tell him West was going to be there, but she had no intention of talking to him. Her heart couldn’t take it.

  Josh waved and then darted into his class. Alexa quickened her pace. She didn’t need to be late, not after missing several days of class. She turned the corner and slammed into someone. Or would have, if two strong hands hadn’t braced her shoulders. Hands she would know anywhere.

  He let go as soon as she was steady, but not before tingles shot up and down her arms and her mouth went dry. She wasn’t ready. She’d tried to prepare herself for what it would be like when she finally saw him, but standing a breath apart with his brown eyes so close she could see the exact shade of them: shiny melted chocolate, all words left her.

  “You’d better hurry,” he said.

  She nodded, but her feet wouldn’t move. “Congratulations on making the team, by the way.”

  He smiled. A full smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners and a pang of hurt surged through her.

  “Thanks,” he said, but he didn’t make a move to leave. “How’s your dad?”

  “He’s home now.”

  West nodded. The final bell sounded over their heads making her jump. Doors up and down the hall started to close.

  “I’d better go,” West said.

  “Yeah, me too.” She started walking. For a moment, the urge to call out to him overwhelmed her. She opened her mouth, but when she did, the image of her dad lying on their kitchen floor gasping for breath filled her mind and she closed her mouth again. Instead, she glanced back to watch the boy she loved walk away from her, but he was already gone.

  Chapter 29

  “You ready?” Josh asked.

  “Are you?” West braced his hands on the wall and stretched out his right calf.

  The other guys from the team were scattered around the locker room, each performing their own rituals to warm up for the first meet. Everyone was in varying stages of getting into their black, gold, and white shorts and jersey tops. The shorts were a little short for West’s taste, but their colors beat the purple and white outfit he’d seen one of the opposing school’s sporting as they exited their bus.

  The metal door opened with a screech as Coach Avery and the assistant coach walked in and crossed to the middle of the room. “All right, everybody. Listen up.” Voices died out as the runner�
��s circled around the coaches. “You’ve all been working hard to get ready for today’s meet and you know what you need to do. Remember to stay focused. Try not to think about the people in the stands or the other runners. Keep your attention on what you’re supposed to be doing.” Coach Avery paused to take a knee. “Let’s pray.”

  While the coach led them in a prayer, West cracked his eyes open and glanced around at his teammates. In the last few weeks, he’d gotten to know some of the guys better and they weren’t too bad. He’d even ended up sitting with a few of them at lunch. The sudden sense of belonging was strange after years on the outside, but he was adjusting and trying to keep an open mind. He caught the eye of one of the other guys on his relay team and nodded.

  “Amen,” Coach said. He stayed down on his knee and raised his arm. “Now, let’s get some hands in.”

  West stepped forward, letting himself drift with the rest of the team as they pressed together to put their hands on top of Coach’s.

  “One, two, three,” Coach said.

  “Go Trojans,” they shouted in unison.

  The energy in the room shifted from quiet reflection and concentration to that of a building electric storm. Hands slapped backs as the coach opened the door and the sunlight filtered in. Everyone filed out of the field house shouting, riding the wave of adrenaline which only grew when they were greeted with more cheers as they entered the stadium.

  West and Josh made their way to the starting line to begin warming up. They were in the second event. West tossed his light jacket to the side and with his toe at the starting line, practiced taking off. Josh was in the lane beside him doing the same.

  “Hey,” Josh said as they bent down to start again. “Not to add pressure, but you might want to run your ass off today.”