by Kirby Hall
“Wait, Dad, that’s not it at all. Hear me out.” She cleared her throat and tried to find her voice. “This isn’t about me and West. Just like you want, we’re not together. I haven’t even talked to him.” Alexa paused to compose herself. Talking about it still hurt, but if she fell apart, her dad wouldn’t listen. “Dad, I’m asking you to have the order dissolved so West can move on with his life.”
He looked at her as he seemed to mull over her request. His eyes thoughtful and his expression blank. At least he wasn’t shouting.
“You see, he joined the track team and they know about the arrest. If you were to press charges, he’d be thrown off the team.”
“Why should I help him? He disrespected me as much as you did by sneaking around. No man worth anything forces a girl to lie to her family.”
She kept her spine straight even though his words hit her with a force like a slap to the face. “I know and I’m sorry, but, Dad, it wasn’t his choice to sneak around. He wanted me to tell you we were seeing each other. It was my choice not to tell you.”
The leather of her dad’s chair squeaked as he leaned forward again. “What you did hurt me, Alexa. We used to talk to each other.”
“I know,” she said her voice barely audible. She wanted to tell him it used to be easier back when she was younger. He used to listen to her then and take her seriously. Now all he wanted was for her to lead the rest of her life as he saw fit.
“Dad, listen, I know things aren’t easy between us, but that’s about us, not West. He doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined because he liked me.” She bit the inside of her cheek to try not to focus on her own words. Saying she wasn’t right for him was like a blowtorch to the heart. He was all she thought about, but she meant what she said. He deserved a chance to move on without the cloud of her family hanging over his head.
“Maybe not.” The phone rang next to her father’s elbow and he glanced down at the screen. “I need to take this.”
She stood and crossed to the door, thankful the discussion could end.
“Alexa, I’ll think about what you said, but you have to promise me you’ll stay away from him.” He waited for her answer as his hand hovered over the receiver. “It wouldn’t be wise to lie to me again.”
“I know, Daddy and I wouldn’t.” As she pulled the door closed she heard her dad’s deep voice through the thick wood. Another business call. It was hard to believe he’d had the time to worry about West at all. He didn’t seem to have more than a few minutes a night to think about anything but work.
“Hey, Punk,” she said to Graham as she crossed through the living room. He was staring at one of his favorite cartoons and didn’t bother to look her way.
“Can you take me to the art supply store?”
She paused with one hand on the doorframe. “Sure, later? Or tomorrow?”
“Whichever.” He turned to eye her over the back of the couch. “You and dad weren’t fighting, were you?”
“No. Just talking.”
“Okay, good.” His head disappeared back into the cushions. He’d handled everything well with their dad’s heart attack, but he was more aware of their dad’s moods since he’d been home from the hospital. When their dad had received a call at dinner the previous week and his voice had become raised, Graham’s eyes had widened and Alexa found him later in the night hovering outside the office door.
She didn’t blame him. She worried, too.
The following day, Alexa’s lips twitched as Graham begged from the backseat for her to change the radio station. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Oh man, but this music’s boring.”
Not only did Alexa’s show tune station provide her with great happiness, it also allowed her to torture her brother without having to try. She grinned. “Hey, I’m taking you to the art store, aren’t I?”
“I’m not sure it’s worth it,” he replied as he rested his head against the seat and stared out the window. He added a deep sigh for dramatic effect the way only a kid brother could do.
After circling the strip mall parking lot twice, she squeezed into a spot about as far away from the building as she could get. She glanced toward the sky as she climbed out of the car. The dark clouds hovering overhead were darker than they had been earlier and the air was thick and heavy. She wondered if she opened her mouth as she walked if she’d be able to drink the air.
“Come on, Graham. Let’s get what you need and get out of here before we have to swim back to the car.”
He meandered beside her, his super-hero tennis shoes dragging with each step. Graham was not one to hurry, even with the impending threat of a torrential downpour.
She nudged him with her shoulder. “So, what’s on the list today?”
The door chime dinged over their heads as they walked into the store. A girl with paint brushes stuck through the knot in the back of her hair looked up from her magazine and smiled before returning to her reading.
“Colored pencils.” Graham surveyed the store and inhaled a deep breath. She knew he loved the smell of the paints the way she loved the dusty smell of the stage.
“Don’t you have about a million colored pencils?” They started down one of the aisles and scanned the contents. Different kinds of paper, brushes and paints were everywhere. Alexa didn’t understand the difference between most of the items, but Graham spoke the language.
“I used up two of my best ones.” He picked up one box and ran a finger across the colors before replacing it on the shelf and exchanging it for another.
Pelts sounded overhead as the rain began to pound the metal roof. Alexa let out a breath. “Take your time, Graham.”
Ignoring her, he moved on to another box while she wandered the rest of the way down the aisle. She liked to give her brother a hard time, but she liked spending time with him, too. She thought about New York and glanced back at Graham, all innocence and brown curls. How was she supposed to leave him there with their dad? What if something happened again? Graham wasn’t old enough to deal with those kinds of things. Not by himself.
She stopped beside a display of boxes containing broken bits of tiles used when making mosaics. The colors inside were simple. Separated, but together, their differences complemented each other. She and West were different and at one time, she thought they, too, were like the mosaics, okay on their own, but better together. Filling the void in each other.
“I’m ready,” Graham said.
Alexa’s hand fell away from the box and she followed her brother to the checkout. The thoughts of West and what might’ve been pushed aside.
“I don’t suppose you brought any of your own money?” Alexa nudged her brother with her elbow.
He shrugged.
Alexa shook her head and dug some money out of her purse. “Here.” She handed the shopping bag to her brother as they reached the door. “You can carry it yourself.”
“West,” Graham exclaimed and pushed past her.
Alexa’s heart leapt into her throat as she watched her brother run down the covered sidewalk and stop beside West. He was wearing jeans and white T-shirt with a pocket on the front. His hair was a tangled mess, his skin tan and he looked, beautiful.
As the door closed behind her, she noticed the rain water being swept away down the gutter and she envied it. She’d rather be swept away than have to stand close to West. Close enough to touch, but unable to. The pain in her chest returned at the sight of him. Even after a month apart, nothing had changed.
West’s eyes met hers over her brother’s shoulder as she approached. She straightened her shoulders and smiled, crossing the rest of the distance to where they were standing. No reason to come across as pathetic as she felt.
“Hey,” she said. She was surprised her voice sounded even considering the way her insides were vibrat
ing with anxiety. “What are you up to?”
“Picking up some new shoes.” He held up a bag from the sports store at the end of the strip mall. “Where are you guys heading?”
Alexa glanced out at the rain. It was coming down hard enough that the air between them and her car looked white. “Don’t know. Lunch maybe?”
Graham nodded. “Pizza.”
“You always want pizza.” Alexa rolled her eyes playfully at her brother.
“The man knows what he wants.” West’s eyes were intense on hers. “That’s a good thing.”
She shifted on her feet as heat crept up her neck.
“Can West come with us?” Graham asked.
Alexa’s eyes widened. So much for keeping a straight face. “I don’t know, Graham.”
West seemed to register her panic. “You know what, Graham? I actually can’t go with you. I’m meeting some friends.”
Her shoulders sagged with relief. “Thank you,” she mouthed to West.
“Okay.” Graham twisted his bag in his hands. “Sorry you can’t come over anymore.”
West smiled. “It’s okay. I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah.”
Alexa shifted her purse and saw a familiar woman watching them from farther up the sidewalk. She froze. It was her dad’s secretary, Mrs. Parrish. She grabbed Graham’s shirt and started pulling him away from West.
“We have to go.”
“Alexa, let go.” Graham dug his feet into the ground.
“I thought you said you were hungry?” She turned pleading eyes at her brother. “It was nice seeing you, West.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. We just really need to go.” Frantic, Alexa pulled harder as Mrs. Parrish worked her way closer to where they were standing. “I’m sorry,” she said to West. “Graham, now. Come on.”
He jerked out of her grip, but started to walk toward the car.
“I promised,” she mumbled as she started to follow her brother. “He’ll never do it now.”
West grabbed her arm. “Promised what?”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing,” she looked past him to where Mrs. Parrish was now within ear shot. “Goodbye, West.”
He released her, and as she and Graham hurried across the parking lot, she was thankful the rain was there to mask her tears.
Chapter 31
West wiped his neck and face with a towel. The weather had turned a corner. It was no longer cool all day. Now, the brisk temps of the morning burned away by lunchtime, leaving the heat in the afternoons to give a preview of the summer months to come.
“That sucked,” Josh said. “Based on the way Coach was acting, you’d think we lost last weekend.”
“Maybe he needs to get laid?”
“I know that’s right.” Josh shook his head, his face red from their grueling practice.
At the sound of giggling, they both looked around. There weren’t many people left; just a few stragglers making their way off the track. They were probably in too much pain to move any faster. The giggling sounded again. A deep voice broke through the girl’s laughter, but West couldn’t hear more than deep murmuring.
Josh grinned. “Grab your phone.”
West hung his head long enough for the warning bells in his mind to scream what he was about to do was a bad idea. After the feeling passed, he bent and grabbed his phone out of his bag and followed Josh out of the stands. He’d made worse decisions. They crept around the side of the stadium seats, the thick concrete hiding their bodies from view. As they moved, careful not to kick loose gravel and give themselves away, sweat rolled down West’s back.
“Baby, maybe we should stop,” said the girl. “Someone might see.”
“There’s no one here.”
At the sound of Jay’s voice, Josh stopped. West nudged him and used his thumb to motion back toward their seats, but he shook his head and continued forward. Giggling broke out again as Josh knelt down on one knee and peered between two metal bars. West followed his lead, saw a petite brunette wrapped around Jay’s massive girth and fought the urge to retch. Thank God, he hadn’t eaten.
Josh raised his arm and started tapping the air like he was hitting the button to take pictures. West took the hint and raised his phone. After a few clicks, West hit Josh on the back and retreated to the front side of the bleachers. He wasn’t looking to go rounds with Jay. Not with his muscles feeling like they did. He was lucky he could stand.
“Why did you want pictures?” West shuddered. “I may never be the same after that.”
“I need you to do me a favor.”
“Josh, man we can’t post this.” West shook his head and stood. “I know Jay’s a dick, but I don’t know that girl.”
“I do, and believe me she’s no saint. Besides, I don’t want you to post the pictures. I want you to make sure Bekah sees them.”
West picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “That I can do.”
“Hey, and if it makes you feel better, that girl back there,” Josh jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “She’s a freshman who screwed Alexa over once in Performing Arts. Maybe that little bit of info will help you ease your guilt.”
West nodded and left. As he made his way home he thought about what Josh wanted him to do. He happened to agree with Josh. Bekah deserved to know, but he hoped she wasn’t a kill the messenger type of girl. After he showed her, he figured whether or not she and Josh worked out was up to them. He sure as shit didn’t know anything about working relationships. He was still in love with a girl that couldn’t seem to get away from him fast enough.
He couldn’t get the previous weekend out of his head. Not only had she looked hot, her body had trembled when he’d grabbed her arm. He hadn’t missed it. He also hadn’t missed the way she’d practically fainted at the idea of eating lunch with him. And, he still didn’t know what she’d been mumbling about. Some promise she’d made? He had no idea. A burst of heat exploded out of the car when he opened the door, but he was glad to have the car for once, nevertheless. His legs were going to be sore enough without the extra run home added on.
His mom had driven up to their meet the previous weekend. And like an idiot, he’d looked for Alexa after waving to his mom in the stands. And like he’d expected, he hadn’t seen her there. Their next meet was at home. Maybe she’d show up to cheer Josh on. He ignored the pang of jealousy toward Josh. There was nothing between them. He knew that, but he also knew that if he were Josh, her dad would let them be together.
He tried to shake the feeling by turning on the car and cranking up the radio. It was irrational to go down the rabbit hole he was about fall into. He was no more Josh, than he was a football player. He was himself, which wasn’t much, but for a while, he’d been good enough for Alexa. Even if he wasn’t good enough for her dad. Or, his own.
~ ~ ~
The following weekend, as they sat lined up on the benches tying their shoes and stretching, the bus arrived from the opposing school. They eyed their opposition with open curiosity and watched as they lined up in four equal rows, began jogging a lap around the track and chanting about winning.
West couldn’t help feel the beginning of doubt creep into his mind. The other team, decked out in dark green, moved like a well-oiled machine. A very efficient machine.
Josh leaned over near his ear. “This explains why Coach busted our butts this week.”
West nodded. “He must’ve known what we were going to be up against.” He swiveled his head to the side and saw Coach Avery worrying over the lineup. He did it at every meet, but this time his mouth was in a tight line and his shoulders were tense. West’s dread worsened.
Josh glanced down at his phone and then he held it out for West to read. It was a text from Bekah: Just remember whate
ver happens, I’ll still take you out for pizza.
Josh grunted and dropped his phone into his bag, but not before sending her a picture of a hangman’s noose. It looked like the other team’s little lap had done what it was intended to do. It wasn’t a good sign when people in the stands turned doubtful.
“Come on,” West said standing. “We need to shake this off.” He bounced on his toes and rolled his head around on his neck. Screw those guys. When it was his turn to run, he channeled his anger for the other team and ran his ass off.
“Hey, guys, nice job out there.” After waiting for the guys to finish listening to the coach’s parting words, Bekah leaned over the fence where they were gathering their things. “Way to stick it to those over-confident—”
“Thanks,” West tried to cut her off before the opposing team, who was filing out right behind where they were standing, heard her. One of the guys eyed him over Bekah’s shoulder and West wondered if his icy glare was because of Bekah’s comment or because they’d lost.
“Hey, West is going to go with us. That’s cool, right?” Josh draped his bag diagonal across his chest, oblivious to anything going on around them. “I’m ready to eat.”
“Yeah, of course, one condition though. Try not to sweat all over the seats. Sweaty boys aren’t something I want to smell every time I go somewhere from now until forever.” She scrunched up her nose and led the way. “Oh yeah, Alexa said hey.”
West stopped and Josh stepped on the back of his shoe. “Sorry.”
Josh offered him a sympathetic look and then caught up with Bekah.
West ground his teeth. He’d missed her. After thinking about seeing her all week, he’d missed his chance. He’d been so busy concentrating on the other team he hadn’t tried to find her. Cursing under his breath, he climbed into the backseat of Bekah’s old Volkswagen Beetle.