by Kirby Hall
On the ride to the restaurant, he leaned his head back, only half listening to Bekah and Josh talking in the front seat. He thought about how strange it was that he was there. Eight months ago, he hadn’t known anyone at school, definitely not enough to consider any of them friends, and now he was heading out for pizza with Bekah and Josh after finishing a track meet. It wasn’t lost on him that they were both Alexa’s friends.
“Hey, West,” Bekah said, eyeing him in the rearview. “Are you going to go to prom?”
West snorted. “No, I have a different hell lined up for that particular night.”
Josh turned around in his seat and Bekah tilted her chin upward.
West sighed. “I’m having dinner with my dad.” Although, even if he wasn’t, he still wouldn’t be going to prom. He adjusted in his seat as a thought occurred to him. Alexa was probably going, which meant she was going with someone else. Maybe she was moving on from him. The thought made him sick to his stomach. He hated the idea of some other guy dancing with her; touching her bare back and pressing up against her as they moved. Suddenly, he didn’t want pizza anymore. He wanted to go home and kick a puppy, but he’d promised Josh to use the opportunity to show Bekah the incriminating pictures of Jay.
Life had been easier before Alexa. Not that he had had a life.
When they got to the restaurant, Josh excused himself. He wasn’t wasting any time, West thought. Bekah was scanning the menu at the table beside him, her face hidden. West took a deep breath and pulled his phone out of his pocket, but not before sliding her silverware a little farther from her reach. Just in case.
“Hey, uh, Bekah.” He cleared his throat and she looked at him. “I don’t know if you’re still seeing Jay, but there’s something we, I mean, I wanted you to see.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice unsure.
He slid his phone toward her and watched her face as she studied the picture. She huffed and then slid it back to him.
“Are you, okay?” He braced himself for her possible wrath.
“Fine.”
Oh crap. He lived with a woman; he knew fine wasn’t what fine meant. “Do you want me to kick his ass or something?”
She laughed and his breath rushed out in a whoosh. “No, that’s okay. I actually told him off the other day. For good.”
He slumped against his seat in relief. “Oh, well, cool.”
“Yeah, it was.” She picked her menu back up at the same time Josh sat back down.
He looked at West for confirmation and West nodded.
“So,” Josh said, smiling wide enough to showcase all his teeth. “What looks good?”
After their mid-afternoon pizza, they said goodbye to Josh at his house and then Bekah headed in the direction of West’s place. Their houses were all the way across town from each other, but Bekah had insisted, so West relaxed back into the seat and let the sun coming in through the window and the rhythm of Bekah’s fingernails tapping the center of the steering wheel lull him into a daze. He was content, until they passed Alexa’s neighborhood.
“She’s probably practicing,” Bekah said.
His gaze swung to where Bekah was sitting in the driver’s seat. He’d almost forgotten she was there. “The musical?”
“Yeah. She’s obsessed as usual. Maybe more so this time.”
West turned his body in the seat, one of his knees resting against the center console. “What makes you say that?”
“Because it’s true. All she does is practice, go home, go to school and practice some more.” Bekah stopped at a red light and glanced at him. “She isn’t happy. To everyone else she’s the same as she always is, but I see it.”
“Is her dad okay?”
The light turned green and Bekah stepped on the gas. “He’s fine, but Alexa is so scared of something else happening to him.” She scoffed. “You know, she’s starting to talk about staying here for college?”
His eyes widened. “What?” West couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Alexa with the Broadway playbills framed and hanging on the wall in her room? Alexa who was the only person in the world who listened to show tunes on the radio? Stay in small-town USA? “What about New York?”
“I don’t know. The other day she was talking about how we could be roommates and maybe it would be better if she stayed here.”
“She’ll die here.” West said it more to himself than Bekah, but she heard him and she nodded. She was the one person who understood what he meant. Alexa wouldn’t actually die from staying in town, but a part of her would. The fire inside her would fizzle out. One of the parts he loved best about her. The part that made her different from everyone else. “What did you say?”
“Nothing. I didn’t want to upset her. She seems a little down as it is. I just said it was a long way off and nothing was set in stone yet.” Bekah turned onto his street and slowed. “Which one is it?”
“Third house on the left.” His mind continued to whirl as she pulled to a stop in front of his house. He needed to talk to Alexa. Although, he wasn’t sure she’d listen to him. “Hey, Bekah, the last time I saw Alexa she said something about promising something to someone. She kind of freaked out and took off. Do you happen to know what she was talking about? It’s been awhile, but it kind of stuck with me.”
Bekah put the car in park and leaned back in her seat, her eyes focused on the road stretching out in front of them. “Yeah, but I’m not supposed to say anything about it, especially to you.”
“Bekah, please. What’s going on?” He leaned toward her. “I want to help, but I don’t know how. I don’t know if I should hold out hope or give up. Alexa could hate me for all I know.”
Bekah burst out laughing. “Hate you? Alexa? You’ve got to be kidding.” She looked at him and shook her head. “She’s as in love with you as ever.”
His heart soared. “Then, tell me what promise she made. What was she talking about?”
Bekah debated another minute and then looked at him. “I might as well tell you. Alexa can just be mad at me later.” She drew a cross over her heart and let out a sigh. “Alexa asked her dad to drop the restraining order against you. But, she also promised him she would stay away from you if he did it. And believe me, she isn’t going to lie to him again. Not after what happened last time.”
“Yeah, I get it.” It was West’s turn to stare out at the street. So, there was nothing legal keeping them apart. If he wanted to talk to her, he could, but she wouldn’t. He understood about the promise she’d made and Bekah was right. Alexa wouldn’t chance hurting her father a second time. “Why’d she do it? Why’d she go to him?”
“Because she found out about what your coach said. You know, about getting thrown off the team.”
Dammit Josh. West pounded his knee with his fist.
“She’s happy for you, proud of you even, if that doesn’t sound too cliché.” Bekah traced the large VW on the steering wheel with her finger, causing her stack of bracelets to glint in the sun. “She didn’t want you to get into any more trouble because of her or her family.”
He nodded. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Sure.” Bekah sat up and started the car, then leaned over the passenger seat. “West.”
He paused with his hand on the open door.
“Don’t give up, okay?”
He smiled. He couldn’t if he wanted to.
Chapter 32
Surrounded by the familiar faces of famous band members staring out from the posters on Bekah’s walls, Alexa sat cross-legged on the bed and watched as Bekah studied her transformed reflection in the mirror. “You look gorgeous.”
Bekah beamed and turned to show off the sparkles scattered all over the bright blue fabric.
“I always knew you’d look good in a dress.” Satisfied with her work, Alexa crossed her a
rms over her chest.
“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” she lifted the hem to show off her sparkly silver Converse underneath.
Alexa laughed and shook her head. “Only you.”
“Exactly.” Bekah released the skirt, which let out a quiet swish, and stepped over to the window. It was the tenth time she’d looked out in the last five minutes.
“What time is he supposed to pick you up?”
“Any minute.” Bekah caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you sure I look okay? Seriously?”
“Seriously, you look amazing. Now, hold still so I can get a picture of you. I want to have proof you wore a dress in public.”
“Ha-ha, very funny,” Bekah said, but she struck a pose despite her teasing.
Alexa took a picture and then tossed her phone to the side. “So, tell me again what he said, word for word. I want to know what he said that made you agree to go to the prom with him last minute. It must’ve been good.”
“It was, but honestly, I didn’t think he’d ask. Not after the year we’ve had.” Bekah started to sit and then, looking down at her dress, seemed to think better of it. “Well, you know he came over the other night? Right off I knew something was up. I mean, when’s the last time he’s come over to hang out with just me? Anyway, so he was here and we were in the family room and I asked him if we were ever going to talk about that thing you said at the hospital.”
Alexa’s cheeks heated. She still felt bad about the way she’d lashed out at Josh even if all was forgiven.
Bekah continued, her story gaining momentum in her excitement. “Better to get it out there, right? So, I asked him if he still had feelings for me and he said yes, but he didn’t want to be my rebound guy now that I’d figured out what everyone else already knew about Jay.”
Alexa’s eyes widened. “Wow.”
“I know, right? And, I mean, I don’t blame him.” Bekah threw her hands up. “I did kind of have blinders on where Jay was concerned.”
“Kind of,” Alexa agreed as she listened. She couldn’t believe it was finally out there and her two best friends in the whole world were attempting, well, something. At least prom if nothing else.
“There was a little more back and forth and then finally he asked me if it was the pictures of Jay with that girl that finally got me to see the light. You know the ones West showed me?” Bekah took a deep breath and continued. “And I was like, ‘Those pictures showed me what I already knew.’
“Josh stared at me like he was still unsure and then I said, ‘Josh, I broke things off from Jay the day after Bekah freaked out on us at the hospital.’”
Alexa cut in. “Again, sorry about that.”
Bekah waved a hand and shrugged. “No worries. You know I was never mad. Plus, if you hadn’t said anything, I’d probably still be going to the prom with the tech group instead of with Josh, which no offense to those guys, but I’d rather be with him. He’s hot. So anyway, Josh was all, ‘You did?’ And, you should’ve seen his eyes. They were about to fall out of his head.”
“I said, ‘Yes, dumbass. Although, I’ll admit I’ve been the dumbass lately.’”
“And like the true friend he is, he said, ‘No argument here.’”
“And I said I deserved that and then the air around us changed. You know, got warmer or something? And then his voice got all quiet and he asked me why I did it. Why I finally cut Jay off.”
“And?” Alexa asked leaning forward.
“I told him it was because everything changed after I found out he might be into me. I’d never believed someone like Josh would like crazy ass me.”
“And that’s when he kissed you?”
“That was it.” Bekah’s cheeks turned red under her makeup. “What took me so long?”
“Ah, we’re all stupid sometimes.”
“Speaking of which, I can’t believe you won’t go with us. You of all people, missing prom.”
Alexa stood. She wasn’t in the mood to have the argument again. They’d been discussing it non-stop for a week because apparently now that Bekah and Josh were going, Alexa had to go to complete the trifecta or something. To which she’d had to point out the whole third wheel issue. “There will be another one next year.”
“I know, but it won’t be the same without you.”
Alexa was sad too, but she wasn’t going to bring Bekah down. It was her night to remember. “You won’t even know I’m not there. Not with Josh staring into your eyes.” Alexa placed a hand over her heart and fell back onto the bed.
“If I didn’t have to unlace this shoe, I would throw it at you.” Bekah turned to look out the window and gasped. “He’s here.”
Alexa crossed over to where Bekah was lurking at the window and saw Josh getting out of his mom’s Tahoe dressed in a tux with a skinny blue tie. “He looks good. You guys are going to have a great time.”
Bekah smiled and put her arms around Alexa’s neck. “Thanks for coming by.” She stepped back, but kept hold of her hands. “What are you going to do tonight?”
“Practice, what else? I’ve only got another week to go.”
“And, you’ll be great.” The doorbell rang and they stepped apart. “Okay, I better go down so mom can take a hundred pictures and before the step can start grilling Josh. You want to come down with me?”
“No, you go. I’ll slip out in a minute.”
“I promise I’ll call you later.”
“You better.” Alexa watched her go and swallowed the hurt trying to claw its way out of her. She was tired of crying. She hadn’t cried much since her mom died until the last few months when she hadn’t seemed to be able to turn it off, but enough was enough. She was finished. She’d learn to live with the pain of losing West.
And, if he was at prom with someone, she didn’t want to know about it. She couldn’t exactly picture him at a dance, but then again, she wouldn’t have guessed he’d join the track team, either. He had a whole life she wasn’t a part of anymore.
She held Bekah’s blue curtain to the side and watched as Josh opened her car door, a smile plastered across his face. She started to step away from the window, but stopped when she realized Josh only had eyes for Bekah. The same way she’d been for West. When Bekah and Josh left together, Alexa tried to shake off the loneliness tugging at her. It looked like she was the outsider now.
~ ~ ~
“Hey, where were you?” Graham asked.
She dropped onto the couch next to him. “I was at Bekah’s seeing her off. She’s going to prom tonight.”
Graham tilted his head to the side.
“It’s a dance.” It was easy to forget how young Graham was. A lot of times when he looked at her with a steady gaze, he seemed older than he was. Compliments of growing up with a serious dad and older sister she guessed.
“Why aren’t you going?”
“Well, I just didn’t want to.” Alexa reached for her brother’s ribs. “I’d rather stay here and torture you.”
He giggled as she tickled him until he was flat on his back with his legs kicking the air. His high-pitched laughter was enough to make her join in laughing, too.
“Alexa,” he squealed. “Stop it.”
“What are you two doing in here?” her dad asked from the doorway. He was dressed in khakis and a golf shirt, his usual weekend attire, even though he rarely played.
“Dad, make Alexa go to prime so she’ll get off me.”
Her dad stepped into the room and watched the two of them wrestle around on the couch with his eyebrows drawn together. “Do you mean prom?”
“Yes, that.” Graham gasped for air.
Alexa sat up, letting her brother recover and smoothed a hand over her hair. It took all of two seconds for Graham’s attention to shift back to the television.
“Why aren’t you going to prom?” Her dad sat down in the large armchair. Most men opted for recliners, but the decorator who’d helped her dad with the house had insisted the straight-backed power chair would ‘Make the room’. It looked too big, but if there was one man who looked like he belonged in a power chair, it was him.
She shrugged. “I didn’t feel like it.”
“Alexa’s too busy being sad to want to go to a dance,” Graham said, never taking his eyes off his cartoon.
“Hey,” she said glaring at her brother. “I’m not sad all the time.”
“Alexa,” her dad said, “you have been kind of down lately.”
She rolled her eyes and stood. She didn’t want to sit there and talk about her moods with her dad and her little brother. “I’m going to get something to eat and then I’m heading over to the school.”
Her dad rose and followed her to the kitchen. She could feel him watching her as she grabbed some crackers and a water bottle out of the pantry. With each movement, she felt like an ax was being raised over her head and at any moment it would come slicing down. If her dad had bothered to follow her, it meant he had more to say and didn’t want to get into it in front of Graham. She grabbed her bag and shoved her snack inside and stepped into her shoes before acknowledging him.
“What is it, Dad?”
He leaned on the counter, his light eyes sad. “You’ve been spending a lot of time practicing lately.”
“Yeah, Dad, the play is next week. I have a lot to work on. You of all people should understand that.”
“I do. Your little play is important to you, but should it be dragging you down?”
She blinked. “Dragging me down?”
“You used to be happy, Alexa. Animated. Full of life. But, lately you mope around and stay closed up in your room. What can I do here?”
“Dad,” Alexa straightened her spine, “I’m doing everything exactly like you want. I’m not seeing West anymore. My grades are good. I’m spending time at home, but what you have to understand is that you can’t force me to be happy.”