Shay put down her sandwich and took a long swallow of the bottled water she'd picked up.
Vickie inclined her head toward the water bottle. "At least, you did good by picking the water."
"Thanks," Shay said, her voice full of sarcasm.
"No problem." Vickie tore open her packet of blue-cheese salad dressing. "Now what's up with your hubby? Doesn't he like me?"
Shay automatically reached over and touched Vickie's hand. Her friend's question could have been asked in jest, but she wanted to make sure Vickie understood her answer was spoken in all seriousness. "That's not it at all. Of course, Marvin likes you."
"Then what's the problem? Don't try to protect my feelings, Shay."
Shay squeezed her hand. "Stop it. I told you it's not you. It's not about you."
"Then what's it about?"
"It's about us. Marvin has reservations about this pregnancy."
Vickie lowered the fork that had been halfway to her mouth. "I didn't—"
Shay took a deep breath. "I know you didn't, Vickie," she said. "I didn't want you to know."
"You're serious, aren't you? I can't believe this. Tell me you're kidding."
Shay shook her head. "I'm not kidding."
"I can't believe Marvin doesn't want the baby."
"It's not that he doesn't want it, at least not in the sense that terminating the pregnancy has ever entered his mind. Never that."
"Then I'm not getting it," Vickie said.
Shay lifted her face to the sun before answering. The rays warmed her skin and readied her to share the full story with Vickie. She'd kept it from her friend long enough. "It's a complicated story," she said, "and it's all tied up with Marvin's past and the death of our first child. I'm sure that Marvin has buried his love for the new baby somewhere deep inside. He doesn't want to love him or her, not until he's sure that everything is going to work out with the pregnancy."
"That's crazy, Shay."
Shay agreed with her friend, but she didn't voice her agreement out of loyalty to her husband. "Marvin told me before we left Atlanta—and he's told me several times since—that he was content with the life we had, that he didn't want to ask for too much by asking for a baby. In his mind, he thinks we're too happy and that asking for more will only open us up to more hurt."
"Poor Marvin," Vickie said, absentmindedly rubbing her hands up and down her soda can. "He must be tied up in knots on the inside. A part of him thrilled with the baby, and the other part of him scared to death his very happiness about the idea puts the baby in jeopardy."
Shay shouldn't have been surprised by Vickie's compassion, but she was. "You understand him very well."
"Let's just say I know about wanting something so badly that you're afraid of getting it and losing it."
Something about the way Vickie made that statement made Shay think her friend's thoughts were about something very specific. "Have you ever wanted something that badly?" she asked carefully.
"Not something," Vickie said, taking a bite of her turkey sandwich. "Someone."
"I knew it," Shay said. "I knew you had someone special in your life."
Vickie shrugged. "He's in my life all right, but not in the way that I want."
Shay leaned close to her friend. "Who is it?"
"It's hopeless," Vickie said, now pushing her salad around in its plastic bowl. "Pitifully hopeless."
Shay heard the pain in her friend's voice, and her excitement about the man in Vickie's life faded. "You can't know that."
"In this case I know it very well." Vickie took a deep breath and focused her eyes on a spot past Shay's left shoulder. Shay was tempted to turn and see what held her friend's attention. "It's Daniel," Vickie said, and Shay could feel the breaking of her friend's heart.
"Daniel?" Shay repeated, at a loss for words.
Vickie gave an empty laugh. "I told you it was hopeless. I'm in love with a man who's called to be single. I'm telling you, I sometimes wonder about the Lord's sense of humor. I was happily single and content with my life until I met Daniel. Can you believe that? I wonder what the Lord's trying to teach me through this."
Shay searched her mind for words of encouragement for Vickie, but none came. Her situation did indeed look hopeless. Daniel was 100 percent committed to his singleness.
"Hey," Vickie said, a weak smile on her face that Shay knew was fake. "Don't let it get you down. I'm sure I'll get over it."
"You don't sound very convincing."
"Well, this is one time I'm going to have to trust God. Daniel thinks of me as a friend, a buddy, a close sister in the Lord. Have you noticed the way he calls me Vic?" She stabbed her fork in her salad. "Sometimes I think he doesn't even know I'm a woman."
"I don't know what to say," Shay said.
"There's no need to say anything," Vickie said. "I know it's hopeless, and I'm not trying to pretend otherwise. I do wish, though, that he'd look at me once, just once, as if he saw me as a woman. Sorta pitiful, isn't it?"
Shay reached over and gave her friend's hand a hard and quick squeeze. "Not pitiful at all."
"Well, it is to me."
"You know, Vickie, I never considered this before, but is it hard for you to be around married couples?"
Vickie shook her head. "Not really. Sometimes I get thrown for a loop and start comparing my life to some married woman's life, but on the whole I think being around couples helps me to keep things clear in my mind. Left to myself, I'd build this totally inaccurate fantasy of married life—perfect and always wonderful."
"Now that you know the deep, dark secrets of my marriage," Shay said in a teasing tone, though she was deadly sincere, "I'm sure you'll want to spend a lot of time with Marvin and me."
Vickie squeezed Shay's hand this time. "Every marriage goes through rocky periods, I understand that. If you and Marvin never had any problems, you'd be so perfect I couldn't hang out with you. What you're going through now is a hump that I'm sure you'll make it over with few scars. For the record, you two are still pretty close to perfect in my book."
Shay didn't comment. Right now, she wouldn't place the word perfect anywhere near her marriage.
After a few minutes of eating in silence, Vickie said, "Do you think we could pray about it? Daniel and me, and you and Marvin?"
Shay looked over at her friend. "That's the best idea I've heard all day."
Vickie nodded, and the two women joined hands and prayed.
Chapter 10
Dr. Holmes's phone call did the trick, and on Friday Shay found herself, along with her husband, seated in the office of obstetrician Lydia Thompson. The ride over had been silent. Shay had been praying for good news only. Her sidewise glances at her husband told her she was better off not even trying to guess what his prayers were.
"I can't tell you anything more than Tom—Dr. Holmes—already told you," Dr. Thompson said from behind the wide cherry desk. A petite, elegant woman with wire-rimmed glasses, she gave off an air of confidence that Shay hoped Marvin found comforting. "I agree with his diagnosis. Mrs. Taylor is in excellent health, and that bodes well for the remainder of this pregnancy. I see no evidence of a tear or any trauma to the cervix, but because of the complications with the first pregnancy, because Mrs. Taylor will be thirty-six when the child is born, and because black women have a higher incidence of hypertension and diabetes related to pregnancy, I think we can be a bit overly cautious and in the process give both of you—" she looked pointedly at Marvin—"some peace of mind. I'd like you to come into the office for an examination, either here or at Dr. Holmes's, every two weeks so we can monitor your cervix, blood pressure, and glucose levels to make sure nothing develops."
"And if something develops?" Marvin asked, his voice not betraying the fear his hands tightly gripping the arms of the chair made clear.
"The first line of treatment for blood pressure and blood sugar problems is diet and exercise. If that doesn't work, we can move to medications. Problems with the cervix usually require a
surgical procedure," she explained, "but, as I said, there is no evidence of cervical problems." She went on to explain the details of the available procedures.
"If we need the procedure, what risk would there be to my wife?"
"Minimal," the doctor said, "but it is a surgical procedure with the inherent risks of any surgical procedure."
"When would you do it?" Marvin asked, leaning forward in his chair. "If we needed it, I mean."
The doctor looked from Shay to Marvin. "We'd monitor Mrs. Taylor every two weeks as I mentioned, and if we thought the procedure was warranted, we'd do it around week fourteen—the end of the first trimester, the beginning of the second trimester."
Shay could hear Marvin's heart and brain digesting all this information and coming up with all sorts of scenarios—none of them good, she suspected. "But you don't think surgery is going to be necessary?" she asked, to get them back to the critical issue.
The doctor shook her head. "Like I said, everything looks fine. As we discussed, there are other risk factors, though low, related to your age, and we want to keep on top of them."
Not as positive an answer as Shay would have liked, but she nodded her acceptance. She knew from a higher source that she and the baby would be fine. She turned to Marvin. "Any more questions?"
He shook his head and eased back in his chair. "I guess we know what we need to know. Can we schedule the next appointment now?"
Nodding, Dr. Thompson stood. "See the receptionist on your way out. I'll walk with you." When they reached the receptionist's desk, she added, "If you like, I can keep Dr. Holmes posted on your condition since he's your primary-care physician."
Shay smiled. "We'd appreciate that. Thanks for offering."
"Not a problem," she said, extending her hand to Marvin first, and then to Shay. "It was nice meeting you both. Don't worry so much, and try to enjoy this time. Mrs. Taylor is in excellent health, and that's the primary factor in the baby's health and the health of the pregnancy."
Shay was pleased to note that the doctor had directed her last two comments to Marvin. After the doctor left, they made their next appointment and headed out to their car. Once they were seated and back on the road for home, Shay asked, "So what do you think?"
"I liked her. She seems to know what she's doing."
"Hmm," Shay said. "She said the same thing Dr. Holmes said, and Dr. Holmes's office is much closer."
Marvin took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. "But she's an obstetrician. I feel more comfortable with her. Do you mind the ride that much? I'll go with you each time so you don't have to drive."
"I don't mind," she said. Dr. Thompson's office was only twenty-five minutes from their home anyway. Her doctor in Atlanta had been as far away, and they'd been in the same city. "I really believe everything is going to be all right, honey. Don't worry so much. I want you to be happy about the baby. I am."
Marvin expelled a deep breath but kept his eyes on the road. "I know you are, Shay," he said. "I know you are."
Shay decided to keep quiet for the rest of the ride. She didn't think further conversation would be positive at this point.
* * *
The next morning Marvin again felt his wife's cold shoulder. Funny, he thought, how something as simple as missing a good-morning kiss can get the day off to a bad start. Shay was angry with him, he knew, but he also knew there was nothing he could do about it. After talking to the doctor, he felt justified in his feelings. Shay would have to get over her attitude.
He watched her now as they drove to Tremont Street. He'd checked into the boarded-up houses they'd seen down here the day he'd played ball with Bo, and having finally gotten a substantive response to his inquiries, he wanted to get feedback from Shay and Daniel. He hoped they could agree on one of the properties for the Genesis House offices and a small activity center. The homes weren't big enough to house a full recreation center, but since the neighborhood had a park—a bit run-down, but a park nonetheless—he thought they could make do with the public facilities. He had three houses to show them, but he liked this first one, with its huge corner lot, the best.
"Daniel's already here," he said and pulled in behind his friend's Ford Taurus.
"So I see," was Shay's response. She was already studying the house. Marvin knew her brain was trying to visualize its interior. She'd already stripped the peeling yellow paint off the exterior and replaced it with a fresh coat—probably in eggshell white—added some shutters to the now bare windows, and placed a bright—maybe orange-colored—welcome mat on the porch, which she'd no doubt already stripped and painted as well.
"Come on," he said, unbuckling his seat belt. "Are you ready for the grand tour?"
She smiled at him, her first real smile of the morning, and his heartbeat quickened. "You betcha."
They greeted Daniel, and then Marvin led them through the rickety gate and up the cracked concrete walkway. The grass was losing an ongoing battle with the weeds, but Marvin knew a little loving care could turn the wilderness into a lush meadow.
"Nice-sized yard," Shay said. "I like this corner lot. We can definitely do something here."
"The back is even better," Marvin said, stopping to give them time to survey the yard and exterior of the house. "I think the house was built on an oversize lot." He turned back to look at Daniel. "Do you know the history of this place?"
Daniel shook his head. "Sad to say, I don't."
Marvin clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Well, that's gonna change," he said. When they reached the porch steps, he took Shay's arm. "Careful, babe," he said, helping her navigate the rotting wood. He shook his head at the waste. Periodic painting could have prevented most of the deterioration they saw.
"It's wonderful," Shay said, once Marvin had led her and Daniel across the wraparound porch and through the front door. "It's absolutely wonderful."
Marvin watched her as she studied the great room beyond the foyer. The area spanned the entire width of the house, with a wide hallway along the far wall that led to the kitchen. Severely scuffed hardwood floors and cracked chair rails were the room's best features. Despite its problems, the room seemed the perfect place for hosting large gatherings—informal community meetings as well as formal dinner parties.
"I can't believe it." Shay ran her fingers along the chair rail. "This room is perfect for our needs. It can be our community room, and if we get the grant, we can split the area into two rooms and use one to house the computers." She turned back to her husband and Daniel. "Don't you think so?"
Marvin nodded and Daniel agreed. "It's sure big enough."
"Come on, Marvin." Shay tugged on his hand. "Show us the rest."
Shay and Daniel oohed and aahed themselves through the great room and down the hallway. There was a kitchen at the end of the hall—one large enough to accommodate the crowd it would take to fill up the main room—and a laundry room, a large bath, and two smaller rooms that Daniel called any-purpose rooms, which were located off the hallway and before the kitchen. None of them could quite make out how the all-purpose rooms had been used in the past.
"Back stairs," Shay said, as they went up the stairs to the second floor. Rather than off the foyer or the main room, as in most homes, the stairs in this house were accessed off the kitchen in the back of the house. "They perfectly separate the downstairs public areas from the upstairs private areas," she murmured.
"I had the same thought," Daniel said. "This house is looking better by the minute."
Marvin's pleasure with the house increased with Daniel and Shay's excitement about it. They gave the upstairs the same enthusiastic response they had given the downstairs. Six large rooms, two with a fireplace, and two full baths. "I don't believe it," Shay said, running her hand along the tarnished antique bathroom fixtures. Marvin had known the bathrooms with the claw-footed tubs would enthrall her. "I don't see how anybody could let this gorgeous house run down like this. All this space, and nobody using it. It's a shame."
> Daniel rested his arm along the mantel of the fireplace. "Don't forget that everybody's not seeing good economic times, Shay. This house has ten-foot ceilings and must be a bear to heat, and don't forget the electricity costs, and then general maintenance on a place this size. It would take a pretty penny to keep a house like this up and running. I'm not sure anybody in this neighborhood has that kind of money."
Marvin watched his kindhearted wife accept the truth she already knew. "It's still a shame," he heard her mutter.
Marvin agreed with her. It was a shame, and that was one of the reasons he wanted them to take this house for their offices. He knew it was highly unlikely a family would occupy it anytime in the near future, and its size—both inside and out—made it a prime location for illegal activities. He'd seen evidence of some business transactions on an earlier visit and had taken it upon himself to clean out much of it. The realtor had hired a cleaning crew to take care of the rest.
"Let's head back downstairs so I can show you the back," Marvin said. The three of them trooped back down the staircase out to the back porch, which was actually a continuation of the front porch since the porch wrapped all the way around the house.
"This yard's big enough to be a small park," Daniel said, facing the backyard.
"I was thinking the same thing," Shay turned to her husband. "Does this house fit in the GH budget?"
Marvin heard the unspoken "Please say it fits" at the end of her statement and smiled. Vintage Shay. "I think we can swing it. There's a lot of fix-up work to be done, but I think we have the talents on our volunteer team to get those done. Plus, we'll need some concessions from the mortgage company, but the realtor I spoke with thinks we can work something out. She says they're eager to unload the property."
"When can we meet with this realtor?" Daniel asked. "I'm with Shay. This house is perfect for our needs."
Marvin checked his watch. "She's going to meet us here in about two hours. That gives us enough time to look at a couple of other properties I think are good candidates."
Shay shook her head. "I don't even know if we need to look at any other properties," she said. "I think this is it. It feels right."
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