by t. h. snyder
The image of how she looked in this dress last night sticks in the front of my mind—her mouthwatering curves, that tight little ass that I love to smack, and her perky tits that fit perfectly in the palm of my hand.
A knot forms in the pit of my stomach with the fear that she could really be gone. I hate the way things ended before we fell asleep last night. She’s been there for me when no one else has, and all she wanted was for me to love her in return.
She doesn’t know how broken I really am and how a relationship with me could never work.
I’d rather break her heart now rather than months down the road.
I know that this is best for both of us—I just hope I get a chance to tell her before it’s too late.
Turning the doorknob and swinging the door open, I run down the stairs to see if Jo is still here.
I look through the living room, she’s not there.
I look through the hallway and into the kitchen, but she’s not there, either.
Moving toward the table, I see a piece of paper folded in half. I sit down on the chair and reach for it. As I unfold it, I can tell that the handwriting is Jo’s. I set the offensive paper down on the table and flatten it out before me…
Linc,
I’m writing this letter, not to make you feel bad or regret anything we had, but to let you know that I’m leaving.
I sat in bed with you lying next to me for a while, debating whether or not to wake you. I felt it was better for me to leave and let things rest as we left them last night.
I love you and there’s no denying it. We’ve had a connection since the first day we met, but I never realized it would turn into so much more for me.
I don’t blame you for being confused and shocked; I probably would have been, too. But you are ‘it’ for me. I knew a long time ago that I had fallen in love with you, but was too afraid to tell you. Now I know my fear was warranted.
I don’t think that I can stay in Birmingham, at least not for now. I need some time to think things through and reevaluate my life. With you and me in the same town, I won’t be able to put the way I feel for you in the past.
I promise I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.
I love you,
Jo
A huge lump forms in my throat and a sharp pain begins to stab me in the chest. I’ve experienced loss, the lack of an intimate connection and the rejection of my family in my life before, but nothing has ever hurt me like this.
She’s left and it’s my fault.
I’m a mess of a man.
I’m not good enough for her.
I’m not worthy of Jo’s love.
Instead of being selfish and self-centered I should have been there for her—supported her and made her happy.
I fold the paper back in half and then in half again. As I reach to stick it in my pocket, I hear the front door open and slam shut.
Daulton walks into the kitchen just as I’m about to get up from the table.
“Hey, man,” he says, slapping me on the back.
I nod my head in his direction and move toward the cabinet to grab a coffee mug.
“How’d last night go with Jo? You guys pitched out before we made it to Duke’s.”
“Yeah, I know. We didn’t stay too long.” I reply while setting my mug into the Keurig coffee stand.
I need my caffeine fix. Not like it’ll make my morning any better, but nonetheless I still need it.
“I gathered that much. But what the fuck happened after you left? Jo woke me up at seven thirty wanting me to take her back to her car.”
I turn to face him as he sits down and starts to drum his fingers on the top of the table.
“It’s a long story that I’m not in the mood to talk about right now.”
“Well, you must’ve pissed her off pretty damn bad. She was really upset when I dropped her off.”
I look at the expression on his face; he’s concerned about her and I can’t blame him.
“Did she say anything to you?” I ask.
“Nah, man, she just woke me up and asked for a ride. I figured if she wanted to talk she would’ve said something.”
“Yeah, guess you’re right.”
I can’t stand here and talk about this with him. My heart hurts for a woman I can’t love, and there’s no way in hell I want to sit down and talk it through with Dault.
His idea of a relationship is a one night stand and a door slamming into the chick’s ass on the way out.
He’d never understand what Jo and I had. Fuck, he’d probably blame me for causing her to leave.
Dault is my best friend; we’ve been through hell and back together. But one thing that is different between the two of us is how we handle the situations that come in and out of our lives.
He’s a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy, whereas I’m the obsessive and structured one.
For as long as I’ve known him, he’s never been one to dwell on the past. Instead, he makes the most of every moment and always has to be the center of attention.
No matter what’s happened to us in our lives, he can move on and start over in a heartbeat. Not me. I need to know the how and why of everything.
Explaining to him what’s just happened with Jo isn’t something I’m ready to do, not yet. We’ve known her for the past few years and she’s always been around. Her presence is going to be missed by all the guys at the shop.
I need to figure how I’m going to survive without her in my life and who’s going to pick up the pieces at the shop.
There aren’t many women that would put up with the shit we shell out, but she handled us just fine and did it with a smile every day.
Fuck, I’m going to miss her.
The guys and I can pick up the slack for a while, but I’ll need to find a replacement before we fuck everything up.
No one will be able to claim the place she held in my life; she was too good to the guys and to me.
Letting out a deep breath, I turn to reach for my coffee. The pain in my chest is still there and I hate how I’m feeling right now.
What the hell is wrong with me…do I love her?
Fucking hell, I don’t know what the hell to think.
Dault gets up from the table and pushes in the chair while clearing his throat.
“Well, on a side note, I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?”
My head turns to face him as I give him a glare.
“Dude, I’m not in the mood for games. Just tell me what you need to tell me.”
“Damn it, Linc, you’re PMS-ing like a bitch today. Didn’t Jo give it up last night?”
My glare deepens and I have to restrain my urge to punch him in the face. We may be best friends, but the fucker really knows how to piss me off.
“Seriously, Dault, today is not the day. Give me the bad news first, that way the good news will sound that much better.”
He smiles and nods his head.
“Right on, man. Now don’t get all pissy with me, it’s not my fault the way things happen, but the tenant that was supposed to be moving in today bailed on us last night. She called and said she got a job in North Carolina and wouldn’t be staying in town that much longer.”
I slam my mug of coffee down on the counter, spilling it all over my hand.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“No, it kinda sucked ass when I found out. I was hoping to come up with a plan before I told you. “
“Well, it would’ve been nice to know right away, fucker.”
He swats his hand in the air gesturing for me to shut up.
“Don’t worry, Linc, the guys and I ran into this cute lil’ thing this morning at the diner. She’s a bit off, but said she was looking for a place to stay for a few months. I told her to come over around noon to check it out.”
I roll my eyes at him. Of course he’d find a tenant that he thought was cute. I just need him to keep his dick in his pants long enough for her to s
ign the lease.
“Whatever. Just make sure she signs and gives you her first and last month’s rent before she moves in. We’re not getting screwed again like last time.”
“Sorry, no can do. I have plans and won’t be here to meet with her. It’s up to you to charm her so that she loves the place enough to move in.”
Motherfucker!
“Dault, you fucking suck. How do you know that I don’t have shit to do?”
He shrugs his shoulders and starts to laugh.
“Dude, it’s Sunday. You never have plans on a Sunday. Now, pull up your big girl panties and deal with it,” he says as he chuckles.
I fucking hate him right now.
“Fine, I need to get my shit together before she gets here. What’s her name, or should I just call her ‘cute lil’ thing’?” I say in a mocking tone.
“Yeah, that might not sound right coming from you. Me maybe, but not you.”
“Whatever, just tell me her name,” I say with a smirk.
“It’s Gretchen, but she said to just call her Etty.”
“Got it, I’ll see you later.”
“Later.”
I grab a paper towel and clean up my mess of coffee. Tossing the wet towels into the trash, I grab my mug and head up the stairs for a shower.
If this chick is coming in the next hour or so, I need to make sure I’m somewhat dressed.
We need this tenant and I don’t want to freak her out the first day we meet.
Chapter 10
This has to be one of the craziest things I’ve ever done. It’s not like I knew where I’d plant myself once I left Oregon, but I sure as hell didn’t plan on it being in a small town in Birmingham, Alabama.
I have to laugh at myself and the craziness that is very much becoming my life.
Independence and making my own choices is something I’ve not done in a long time. I’m kinda enjoying being my own person again.
For the past few years I didn’t have a say in anything. Rick chose my clothes, makeup, and hair style. I was his minion and he had complete control over everything I did and said.
I wasn’t to look or speak to anyone unless he gave me the signal. I was more like his pet than his girlfriend. I was held captive with the inability to know or understand what the hell was going on in my own life.
Every morning I was injected with some type of drug that made me feel numb. By mid-day I was forced to swallow pills as he held my arms down with his legs.
I got to the point that I didn’t fight him—it was pointless. He was bigger and stronger than I was. Plus, the more I put up a struggle the harder his punch was to my stomach.
There were times that the beatings were so intense I didn’t know if I’d ever wake up. I can’t even count on my fingers the times he made me clean up the blood spatter on the walls and floor.
It was a miserable way to live and I thank God every second for giving me the will to fight through and break free once and for all.
I just pray that he never finds me.
The night I left, I was scared out of my mind. I’d been planning my escape for weeks, worried that the smallest thing would go wrong. I ran through the checklist of things I had to do a million times. I had everything down perfectly, so I had hoped.
It was the middle of the week and Rick was taking us to the Grand Slam Club just as he always did on a Wednesday night.
It was my least favorite night of the week because he had me scheduled to tend to four of his regular guys.
When it came time for him to slip me my pill for the night, I took it like a good girl and he didn’t force me. I held it under my tongue until he turned to reach for the glass of water on the countertop. Rather than swallowing it like I was supposed to do, I slipped it into my cleavage to save it for later that night.
I did what I had to do to get through the night, minus the help of drugs. Each guy enjoyed the oral pleasures I provided and even gave Rick a tip for my new blue hair color he’d chosen for me.
He was happier than a pig in shit, and I knew he’d take it easy on me when I got home for my good behavior at the club.
We got back to our place a little after three in the morning and Rick went straight to the bedroom. I went to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water and slipped in the pill I’d been hiding in my boobs all night. Stirring the water with my finger ‘til it was clear, I took it into the room and handed it to him with three Advil. He chugged it down without a second thought and laid his rugged body in the center of the bed.
Changing into my yoga pants and tank top, I watched as he fell into a deep sleep.
The vision of safety played through my mind as adrenaline spiked within my veins. I was nervous, anxious, and scared all at the same time.
That was my moment—my time to break out of the vicious abuse cycle he was putting me through day in and day out. I had no other choice but to leave and save myself.
I already had my suitcase packed and hidden in the laundry chute of the apartment complex. All I needed to do was grab the stash of cash hidden in the toilet tank and make a run for it.
I didn’t have a car since Rick had sold mine, so I had to run all the way to the bus stop to pick up a ride.
By the time I reached my destination, my chest was heaving and sweat was falling from my forehead.
Trying to steady my nerves and calm my breathing, I bought my ticket and boarded the Greyhound Bus to the next city. My hopes were that I’d be far enough from Oregon by the time he woke up from his drugged and drunken haze.
Not knowing what he did when he found me missing still sends chills through my body. If he ever comes to find me I can guarantee that he’ll kill me. Not only did his money maker pick up and leave him, but I also left with his cash.
Once I hit the next city on my route, I searched for a car that would get me cross-country. I didn’t need anything fancy, just something that would help me get further away.
Lucky for me, I found a used black Nissan Sentra with a For Sale by Owner sign in the windshield. I found a payphone, called the number, and within a few hours I had my ride to safety.
As I look back on the last few weeks of my life, I’m proud of myself. Now it’s time to move on with my life and start fresh.
I still can’t believe I’m looking at this place today. I’m a single girl with one small suitcase; why the hell would I need a two bedroom townhouse?
At this point, I’m not going to stress about the size of the place. If it’s livable and cheap…it’s for me.
Pulling up to the address Daulton gave me, I park my car along the curb behind a charcoal colored sports car.
I look up to the house off the road to make sure I have the right address. This place looks way too nice for the price he’s charging me in rent.
There’s a small porch linking the two houses together and a decent sized yard on either side. The exterior has tan siding with a huge window in the front and two smaller windows on the second floor.
I get out of my car and walk up onto the sidewalk. There are a few steps leading to the porch and two rocking chairs on either side. I step toward the door to the left and reach my hand out to knock. The door flies open, causing me to stumble into a hard surface.
Blinking my eyes to refocus from my awkwardness, I feel along his chest before I can register what I’m doing. I step away, completely embarrassed.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I was just about to knock on the door when it went flying open.”
I look up into his dark brown eyes and he’s scrunching his brows in confusion.
My eyes begin to scan him. His dark brown hair is covered with a baseball hat and his dark eyes hold a secret mystery behind them.
From his head to his toes, he’s wearing a blue t-shirt with Ominous written across the chest and faded jeans. His arms are covered in black designs filled in with colors of incredible ink. A chain hangs from his belt linking to his back pocket and he’s wearing a black pair of Chucks. I bring my eyes back to hi
s to see that he’s studying me with the same intent look.
Extending my hand in front of me, I watch as he looks down at my arm.
He’s covered in tattoos so I know he’s not judging me on my appearance. I mean, come on, I might have my own sleeves of ink and blue hair, but there’s no need to stare.
He clears his throat and looks at me and then back down to my hand.
What the hell? I’m just trying to be polite. What’s a girl got to do to get a handshake and a hello?
Whatever. I might as well initiate our introductions.
“Hi, I’m Gretchen, but just call me Etty.”
His eyes glance from my hand to my eyes. I feel like he’s sucking me in with his soul. Those eyes are so dark, his demeanor so closed off…who the hell is this guy?
He reaches his arm from beside his leg to touch mine.
With a firm shake of his warm hand he finally speaks, “I’m Linc, I own this place.”
Ahh, there we go, he has a voice.
“Oh, I see. I was supposed to meet Daulton here at noon. Does he live here, too?”
“Yeah, he’s my roommate. He mentioned that you’d be coming to check out the place. Give me a second; I was just about to run out to my car to get the spare keys.”
I nod my head and give him a questionable smirk.
“Where’s Daulton? He said I’d be meeting with him.”
“Don’t mind Dault—he’ll tell ya one thing and then do the opposite. He already had plans for today, so instead you get me for the guided tour.”
“Umm, okay.”
He brushes his body against my side as he walks past me to the curb. I stand in awe, wondering all too much about this Linc guy.
I’ve only just met him, but my mind is running a million miles a minute to figure out what it is that he’s hiding behind those eyes. I know that we all have a few skeletons hiding in our closet. Shit, I have about a hundred. There’s something about him that’s nagging at me and I suddenly want to get to know him better.
I watch as he slides into his car. It’s an older car that he either bought or restored to mint condition. Not knowing my ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to cars, I haven’t a clue what kind it is, but it looks sick as hell.